.Another year passed. The Tri Wizard Tournament saw the return of an old menace thought long dead.
Voldemort. He-who-must-not-be-named.
The dark wizard had been thought to be gone, although there had always been those that stated he would return. The Order of the Phoenix had fought him before Harry was born and had defeated him. Now he was back to seek revenge on every member and their families.
He actively tried to recruit Severus, but the Potion Master continued to refuse.
Close to the end of his fourth year, Harry was serving a detention with Professor Snape for brewing his own potion during class. The boy thought he'd seen a smile and a bit of pride in the face of his professor when he was caught, but it was quickly covered by a scowl.
"Will I be scrubbing cauldrons tonight, sir?"
"No, Mr. Potter. I want you to explain to me this potion you were creating in my class instead of the one I'd assigned everyone."
"Well, it was a potion to make someone start talking and tell truths without meaning to. Although, initially I wanted to make one to bring someone back from the dead."
"You're still determined to find out the truth about your parents before you're ready, aren't you Mr. Potter?"
Harry looked at the ground. "Yes, sir."
"You're still not ready."
"When am I going to be? You've both been telling me that for years. I want to know."
"And you will. But no amount of trickery or tantrums is going to change anything."
Harry stared at the floor. "I just want to know what happened. I want revenge on whoever is responsible. I dream about it, about this faceless person killing them. I imagine myself killing them."
Professor Snape stopped what he was doing and sat down near where Harry stood.
"Sit down, Mr. Potter."
"I understand wanting revenge, I do. There's not a day that goes by that…" He stopped and shook his head, remembering watching Lily being pulled away from him by James.
"However, it has already been meted out. The person responsible for the events that lead to their death is now dead."
Sirius and Remus had shared with him the events that lead to Peter Pettigrew's death. After he'd been hurled into the deepest part of the lake, he'd changed to his human form. They'd spotted him trying to paddle to the shore, turned him into a rat again and Sirius as his animagous had bitten him, then Remus threw him back. He never resurfaced.
"He was mine to kill. It was my parents. My revenge."
"Mr. Potter. You are not the only one who deserved to meter out revenge on him." Severus remembered his own anger at not being able to get his lick in on the rat.
"Who else had the same rights I do for revenge?"
His professor just stared at him. Harry looked at the floor again. "I know. You'll tell me when I'm ready."
Professor Snape stood. "Correct. Now I need you to chop ingredients for me. By the way, a potion to raise someone from the dead has already been created and is forbidden here at Hogwarts. But I understand trying. You wouldn't be the only one who has tried and failed to bring her back."
While Harry chopped and minced, the professor began work on a complex healing potion for the infirmary. As he dropped a handful of ingredients in, it blew up at him and knocked him unconscious.
Knowing the Defence Against the Dark Arts room was close by, Harry ran into the hallway and into Professor Lupin's classroom.
"Professor, come quick. It's Professor Snape."
They quickly ran to the lab where the DAtDA professor assessed the potions master.
"We need to get him to the infirmary immediately. Help me, Harry."
The two of them carried him into the fireplace and flooed into the infirmary, where Madame Pomfrey attended to him while Harry relayed what happened.
Dumbledore was summoned to examine the lab and discover what happened. His knowledge of potions was close, but not equal, to that of the professor's. Harry was sent to bed, as it was growing late.
Remus stayed by Severus' side.
Madame Pomfrey monitored him constantly. His breathing was shallow and his blood pressure low.
Somehow, Severus survived. Remus wondered if it was his desire to watch over his son that pulled him through.
The Headmaster examined his personal cauldron and determined that someone had coated the inside of it with a caustic substance that would explode when it came into contact with certain ingredients.
At the beginning of Harry's fifth year, Remus and Severus made the determination that it was time to tell him everything. There had been attempts on both their lives during the summer, likely the work of the Dark Lord. Should further attempts be successful, they wanted to be sure Harry knew the truth.
One day of advanced potions class in November, Professor Snape picked a fight with Harry and gave him a week of detention. He was surprised to see Professor Lupin in the lab waiting for him as well. The DAtDA professor pointed to a chair.
"Sit down, Harry. You won't be chopping up any ingredients or scrubbing cauldrons today."
Harry watched as Professor Snape set protections around the room, including a sound barrier. He handed him a calming potion and ordered him to drink it. Then he set a pensive in front of Harry.
"This will tell you what you need to know about your parents. We will be here when you're finished. You'll have questions."
Harry looked at them apprehensively.
"Just drink it, Mr. Potter."
Harry did as he was told, then opened the pensive.
His mother and Professor Snape meeting as children, then attending Hogwarts...sneaking kisses in the library...James bullying the professor and his mother yelling at him to stop...his mother dancing with James and then embracing the professor in the astronomy room...his mother marrying James… his mother and the professor apparating to Spinner's End...the professor leaning over his mother and kissing her...the two of them asleep...in a kitchen with him as a baby...his mother telling the professor it was his baby and his professor touching his head...James entering and angrily staring at them...his mother stumbling into the professor's house badly beaten and holding him...a list of injuries on a piece of parchment...A man laughing and being turned into a rat...James with a wand to his head and his mother jumping in front of him…both of his parents' bodies on the floor...the professor holding his mother's body…
Harry stepped out of the pensive and felt himself being helped into a chair. He remembered what Professor Lupin had told him his third year, that when he knew the truth it would change his whole world.
Everyone wants to know
the truth.
Until they know
the truth.*
He didn't know how long he'd sat in shock, numbly replaying in his mind the events he'd witnessed. He had begged and pleaded for years to know what happened to his parents and now he wished he'd never asked.
When he finally remembered he wasn't alone, he looked up at Professor Snape, realization sweeping over him.
"Yes, you understood that right. I'm your father."
Harry managed one word. "James…"
"Yes, he killed your mother, then himself. She threw herself in front of a killing curse intended for you."
The words echoed in Harry's ears.
"...intended for you…"
He wasn't supposed to be alive. She died for him.
The echo grew louder and louder until everything became dark.
He opened his eyes briefly and saw his professors. As soon as he saw them, he remembered.
"...intended for you…"
It echoed in his mind again and wouldn't stop. He stared at the ceiling. He remembered the vision from the pensive of his mother's body on the floor. It wouldn't go away.
"...intended for you…"
He heard his professors speaking to him, but the echo was louder. It drowned out everything else except the vision of his dead mother. She was staring at him and repeating it.
"...intended for you…".
He was aware of someone screaming "Mom!" and then liquid being forced into his mouth as he fought hands holding him down. The screaming continued, as did the echo, as he fought everything around him. Everything went dark again, but even in the darkness the echo continued until it consumed him.
"...intended for you…"
Everyone's voice, everyone he knew, was saying it to him. The people he was fighting, they were trying to kill him. That curse, the killing curse intended for him, had killed his mother. He didn't deserve to live and now everybody came to make sure he died. He fought but they poured the liquid down his throat anyway.
"...intended for you…"
.
Oh now feel it comin' back again
Like a rollin' thunder
chasing the wind
Forces pullin' from the
center of the earth again
I can feel it**
The two exhausted professors both stared at the finally resting teenage boy laying on the couch in Severus' private quarters. Shortly after viewing the pensive, he'd gone catatonic and they'd flooed him there and set sound protections, not wanting to involve any other staff members.
He'd started screaming for his mother and thrashing around, then fought very hard as a calming potion was poured into his mouth. It hadn't helped.
Remus had to hold him down to prevent him from hurting himself while Severus quickly but expertly brewed a highly potent calming potion and cooled it. It took everything the two men had to get it into Harry, but it worked quickly. Both had bruises and scratches.
Severus covered his face with his hand and took a deep breath. "Extensoris insomanus is a last resort for a reason. It can kill him."
Remus nodded. He knew of the potion, but he'd never witnessed it being used.
"We'll have to watch him closely. He'll be out for several days. I guess he'll stay here with me."
"You are his father. I guess it's only fitting."
Severus took a deep breath. "Yes, I am, and now he knows."
"It won't be long before he'll be missed. Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley and probably also Miss Lovegood are already looking for him, I know them. I'll tell the Headmaster that you took him to visit his parents' graves because he was asking questions about them."
Remus flooed to the Headmaster's office and relayed the information and received the reaction he expected. Disbelief.
"Professor Snape has never been fond of Mr. Potter. Why would he take him to visit his parents' grave? Or take him anywhere?"
"It seems he's the perfect person to take him. He can tell him all about his mother. If you'll remember, Severus was very much in love with Lily Evans."
The Headmaster smiled at the last sentence. "He certainly was."
"Well, expect to be bombarded by Miss Granger, Miss Lovegood, Mr. Longbottom and four Weasleys. They've already been here demanding to know where he is and I do mean demanding."
Remus nodded and smiled, thankful that Harry had such a close knit group of friends around him. If he ever came out of this, he was going to need them.
He started to head to the door, but the Headmaster's voice stopped him.
"Are you sure you want to go that way? I believe they are right outside the door. All of them. They're determined to stay there until I produce Harry."
"I'll have to face them sooner or later. I guess he has no shortage of people who truly care about him."
"You are certainly correct about that. Good luck, Professor."
"Thanks, I'm going to need it."
Taking a deep breath, he opened the door to the hallway. As he expected, he was immediately bombarded.
"Where's Harry?"
"What did Snape do with him?"
"Why isn't he in the lab?"
"What's going on?"
"Where are you keeping him?"
"Why can't we see him?"
Professor Lupin put his hand up to signal the teens to be quiet.
"Harry has gone to visit the graves of his parents. Because he grew up with Harry's mother, Professor Snape is taking him there."
"Professor Snape hates him."
"Harry hates Snape."
"He doesn't want to go anywhere with him."
"They'll kill each other."
"That's a terrible idea."
"Bring him back."
Professor Lupin put his hand up again to signal for silence.
"They'll be fine, and no, they won't kill each other. You will all see him when he returns. Now go to your dorms, please. It's after midnight. Unless you'd all like to chop up fish intestines and descale snakes for the rest of the night and all week."
With much grumbling, the group headed to their dorms. Just before they turned the corner, he saw the Weasley twins both staring at him. This wasn't good. He briefly wondered if they still had possession of the Marauder's Map.
He went to a nearby classroom, then flooed to Severus' quarters.
Harry still lay on the couch still as a stone and Severus was monitoring his vital signs.
"Did he buy it?"
"With a little reluctance, yes. I reminded him of how much you loved Lily, so that made it more believable. But it's not him I'm worried about."
Severus glanced at him sharply before turning his attention back to Harry.
"Oh?"
"When I exited his office, I was fully bombarded by no less than four Weasleys, Miss Granger, Mr. Longbottom, and Miss Lovegood. They'd planted themselves outside the office and refused to leave until the Headmaster produced Harry."
Severus chuckled and glanced at Remus. "Well, our boy certainly has many friends who care about him. Who specifically has you so worried?"
"First and foremost, Fred and George. Do you know if they still have the Marauder's Map in their possession?"
"I do not know the answer to that."
"If they do, they'll track down you and Harry both. You also know how intelligent and persistent Miss Granger is."
"Yes, I do. I hope he can be returned to them soon. Hopefully, this will wear off and he won't be left with permanent effects. Sometimes a person does not recover from this kind of trauma and psychotic break."
Remus cast concealment spells and quietly sat down next to Harry's still form and took his hand.
"Severus, I will stay with him while you get some rest."
Severus stood up and stretched. "I believe I will, but first I need some ingredients from my lab."
"Don't get caught."
"I won't."
He returned to his quarters a few minutes later, with an ear on a string in his hand. He held it up for Remus to look at.
Remus laughed and shook his head. "Fred and George wasted no time, I see."
"I would check your classroom, I'm sure they bugged that, too."
"I trust you deactivated that one?"
"What do you think?"
Upon returning to the Gryffindor tower from bugging the lab and the DAtDA classroom, the twins joined Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Ron and Neville in the common room. Nobody planned to get any sleep that night.
They heard sounds coming from the lab, such as someone walking in and opening cupboards to retrieve ingredients, but then suddenly it stopped and the string shriveled.
"Someone came into the lab and already deactivated it. Professor Lupin wouldn't go in the lab and he wouldn't be opening cupboards. That means Professor Snape is still here, which means Harry is still here."
"Ron, what did Harry do with the Marauder's Map?"
"It's hidden in Hagrid's house."
Both the twins stared at him like he had three heads. "It's where?"
"He hid it in Hagrid's house. Professor Lupin had caught him with it and took it away from him but he took it back and hid it where it couldn't be found. It's under a bunch of animal feed, under the window facing the lake."
"Well! If anyone can get it back, we can!" The twins exchanged a high five. Then the crew put together a plan.
The girls would visit Buckbeak, since Luna had a good relationship with him. Then Hermione would run to Hagrid's and tell him something was wrong with Buckbeak. The twins would already be waiting near the cottage and would sneak in while it was empty and retrieve the map. Neville and Ron would keep watch, one by the hippogriff and one near the cottage.
As soon as classes were over, everyone got into place. Luna chanted softly to Buckbeak until he fell asleep, then Hermione headed to the cottage. She quickly returned with Hagrid at her heels. He spent several minutes with Buckbeak while Luna and Ginny peppered him with questions about every creature they could think of. What do Centaurs eat? Do arachantulas hibernate in the winter? Do hippogriffs lay eggs?
When the twins casually ambled by asking what the girls were up to, it was a signal that the mission was successful.
The group all eventually met back up in the Gryffindor common room and the twins activated the map. After repeated thorough scans over every inch, neither Harry nor Professor Snape were located on it.
"Ron and Neville, you stay here and watch the map. Watch Professor Lupin. He knows something. Girls, you go for a walk. Keep your eyes open."
"Where are you going?"
"Oh, we'll just be up and around. We'll meet back here after supper."
hphphphphphphphphphphphphphphphphphphphphphp
*based loosely on a Game of Thrones line, "Everyone wants to know their future, until they know their future".
**Live, Lightning Crashes