Total Drama Pahkitew Island Reordered
Chapter 5: Smash, Splash, X Dash
Review Responses
Rockin' D-99: Yes, Ella and Sammy's suffering, while making them sympathetic, seemed to go over the top for no reason. And yes, I had fun mixing the challenges around, and changing some from failures to successes and vice versa. Jasmine, Shawn, and Sammy do seem like a good friendship trio. I guess I could have done a little more with Rodney, but he always seemed like elimination fodder anyway.
CMR Rosa: Thank you! Yes, Dave and Beardo's arcs here revolve around each other to an extent.
Hugh Jidiot: Yes, Max is certainly a wildcard here. I'm glad you like what I'm doing here with Dave and Beardo. And with Rodney. I can see why people would love for Shawn, Jasmine, and Sammy to be a trio.
MatiasND: Had you going there, didn't I? And who knows about Amy? She may have been eliminated legitimately, but her ego was still severely injured.
AnonBrowser: Heh! Yeah, Rodney's canon elimination was painfully obvious. I mean, with Leonard, they actually had me worrying for Ella. I am slightly surprised that Rodney apparently voted for Scarlett, despite being infatuated with her. If I were Rodney, I probably would have voted for Max, as he was the only one on the team who screwed up apart from the big guy. As for the idea of Rodney's mother being dead, I actually got that from Animation Adventures' discontinued fic, Total Drama Underdogs. And yes, I do have a bit of an alliteration addiction. My hatred of Sugar didn't really factor into Rodney not being attracted to her other than getting her booted before she could really interact with him. Besides, let's be honest, Sugar is the least attractive female in TDPI, physically speaking. Though I do remember that one aftermath in Shrimpimp's TDWT where Rodney won a date with Sugar. At first, I was like, "Come on, Rod! I thought you had better taste!" But then I saw that they actually kinda work as a couple. Quite strange. As for Sammy, I'm learning that it's kinda hard to give her a good romance story and find a perfect match for her, but I thought I'd stick my toes into Shammy, and see what everyone thought. Topher's not really a shippable guy, because, as you've said many times before, he cares only about himself and has ambitions far beyond romance. Interesting thought on how the sweet twin could bond with Alejandro, though. And yes, with Sugar gone, I thought I'd hand Ella's plot of trying to befriend an annoyed teammate over to Beardo. Time will tell if the human soundboard will have better luck than the fairytale princess. Speaking of them, Beardo was just excited at the prospect of kissing a pretty girl and didn't have any particular romantic interest in her.
Omega Leonidas: Thank you! Glad you liked it!
WeirdAlfan 101: Yes, eliminating the four least popular characters in the first four episodes seemed like the logical thing to do. And I'm really glad you're liking it!
MDReborn: Well, someone wasn't fooled! Yeah, Rodney's not a great character, but he's not beyond redemption. And yes, Beardo still seems to be at the bottom of the Tigers' totem pole, doesn't he?
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thank you!
lordgemini: Yeah, the montage wasn't necessary because I'm not restricted by how long these episodes have to be, so I thought I'd take advantage of that. You're very right in saying that the Tigers' victory was more legitimate here, as I had planned it. Props for cathing on that Sammy would develop a crush on Shawn. And good guesses on how Sky felt throughout the episode! Yes, the Tigers are a tighter team than the Eagles. I'm glad you really liked it.
Vipron: Yeah, I did my best.
Darkwing: Why thank you!
CMC: You'll see!
Lone Wolf: You are correct. I do like my surprises!
Razenoid: Who knows?
"On the last episode of Pahkitew Island!" Chris narrated. "It was a battle of Brute or Scare! Judged by Clucky the poultry polygraph, the competitors had to tell the truth or complete a scary-slash-disgusting challenge! Failure meant the loser's team was electrocuted! We discovered that Jasmine isn't the only girl who's into Shawn! Beardo finally started talking like a normal human being, Scarlett somehow tricked Clucky, and Topher proved that he's a male version of former competitor, Sierra! At the campfire ceremony, it came down to Max and Rodney. While Max failed every challenge he received, it was Rodney who got voted off for making every girl on the island uncomfortable with his delusions of love! Who's next to let their team down in a hilarious and hurty way? Find out now! On Total… Drama… Pahkitew Island!"
After the theme song, we cut to Shawn and Jasmine. It was nighttime. Both survivalists were perched in the trees. Jasmine was sleeping soundly, a peaceful smile on her face. Over in another tree, Shawn watched over her with a sad look on his face. He let out a deep sigh.
Confessional: Shawn
"She's cool and she's accepting of my lifelong mission to keep my brain from being eaten by the undead! All great! Full points! Ding-ding! But falling for her means I gotta protect her brain and mine! Ha! That's a deal-breaker! I'll have to make it clear at some point in tomorrow's challenge…"
End Confessional
As Shawn pondered what to do about Jasmine, he thought he heard something come out of the water. Startled, he took out his binoculars and scoured the shore. But all he saw was a raccoon, a squirrel, and a rattlesnake all minding their own business without a care in the world. He then grunted.
"This can't be healthy…" he said. "I gotta relax…" He then drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, Dave and Sky awoke before Ella and Beardo, and decided to go foraging together.
"And I guess that's when I decided to become an Olympian!" said Sky, picking blueberries and depositing them into a basket. "Sometimes, you just gotta go for it!"
"Wow." said Dave. "You really look up to your sister, don't'cha?"
"She's my role model!" Sky replied. "She almost made it onto the Canadian Olympic team for rhythmic gymnastics!"
"Gymnastics…" Dave said, losing focus for a moment.
"Dave?" said Sky.
"Hm? Oh. Sorry, there's just something on my mind."
"What's that?"
Dave took a deep breath.
"I like you." He said simply. Sky's eyes widened. "What I want to know is… Do you like me, too?"
Confessional: Sky
"Who stares at a girl and says 'I like you?' That's not how it works! You're supposed to write it on a note and give it to a friend of the person you like. Then she tries to pass it to the girl, gets caught by the teacher, and the teacher reads it out loud in front of the whole class! Everyone knows that!"
End Confessional
Dave waited for Sky's answer with a patient smile.
BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRP!
Sky belched in Dave's face so hard it made his hair look violently windswept. Plenty of Sky's saliva had made its way onto Dave's face as well.
"I can taste your burp in my eyeballs…" said Dave, shocked.
"Sorry! That happened when I'm nervous!" said Sky.
"Nervous?" said Dave, snapping out of his state of shock.
"Yeah, I belch when I'm nervous, during tests, or when I'm near a guy I really like…" Sky stopped cold, remembering who she was talking to.
"So you like me too?" said Dave, a hopeful smile on his face.
"No!" Sky cried. "I mean not like-like you- I don't dislike you… I just…"
"But you just said…" said Dave.
"Okay, I do!" said Sky. Dave's face lit up in delight.
"But!" said Sky, importantly.
"Yes?" said Dave, worry cracking into his smile.
"I like you too, but I really don't think I'm ready for a relationship. My last boyfriend cheated on me."
"How long ago was that?" Dave asked, his worry very much apparent now. "A few years ago?"
"I'm fresh off. I barely had enough time to dump him before coming on the show."
Disappointment was painted across Dave's face with a mop.
"Ain't that always the way…" he sighed.
"I'm sorry, Dave. Are you going to be okay for today's challenge?"
"Yeah. Don't worry. I'll be fine." said Dave, trying to smile.
"Good. Thank you for understanding." Sky gave Dave a quick peck on the cheek. He blushed and smiled softly.
"WAKEY-WAKEY, CAMPERS!" cried Chris over the loudspeakers, waking up all the remaining contestants. "EVERYONE GET YOUR SWIMSUITS ON AND MEET ME DOWN BY THE LAKE IN TWENTY!"
At the Tigers' cave, Ella awoke and took her head off of Beardo's afro, allowing the big guy to sit up, stretch and yawn.
"What did Chris say?" Beardo asked drowsily.
"He said to get on our swimsuits."
"Oh! Water challenge! Beardo exclaimed.
"Yes, good thing our luggage didn't get destroyed in the zeppelin! I have the cutest bathing suit that I've been wanting to show off!"
Twenty minutes later…
The teams had changed into their swimsuits and were walking to the lake. Shawn wore orange swim trunks, sandals, and had discarded his toque. Sky wore a blue one-piece with vertical stripes on the sides. Dave wore a black and teal wetsuit. Ella wore a hot pink one-piece with a short, light pink tutu. Beardo wore black trunks dotted with white music notes.
Topher had changed into trunks similar to Chris's shorts. Jasmine wore a red lifeguard swimsuit and had ditched her hat. Sammy wore a red bikini with a white vertical stripe on the right. Max wore blue and white striped trunks. Scarlett's bathing suit was identical to one former contestant Jo would wear. Her glasses had been replaced by black goggles that creepily obscured her eyes.
The Tigers were eating from the basket of berries Dave and Sky had collected that morning. The Eagles walked ahead of them and Shawn was gawking at Jasmine.
Ella had a piece of paper in her hand and was looking it over fervently.
"What's that, Ella?" Sky asked.
"I'm working on another apology to the other team for shocking them twice. This one is in the form of a poem."
"Why?"
"I don't think everyone on the team forgave me."
"Like who?"
"Max, for sure."
"Don't worry about Max. It was his fault you had to do it." said Sky, supportively. "Remember, you can't please everyone."
"I guess you're right…" Ella sighed.
Meanwhile, Max also a notepad and pencil out.
"Professor Abomination?" he said. "Too soft. Doctor Repugnance? No, that's sounds smelly. Little Mister Dread-u-locks? Hm! Me likey!" Max crossed out the former two names and put a checkmark next to the third.
"Working on a new name?" Scarlett asked.
"Yes, I've already got my catchphrase: Time to evil!" Max declared. "But I still require a sinister moniker."
"Can I see?" Scarlett asked. Max handed her the notepad. On were a dozen different names including:
Professor Abomination
Doctor Repugnance
Little Mister Dread-u-locks
Principal Sinner
Maximus Dominus
Tyrannosaurus Max
Oppressor Plutonium
The Bogeyboy
King Killer
Lord Mischief
Darth Skull
Captain Criminal
"They all sound so good!" Scarlett complimented. "Oppressor Plutonium, that's my favorite!"
"Yes, that's a maybe. Though I am leaning towards Principal Sinner… No. Too religious."
"How will you decide?"
"Silly girl!" Max scoffed arrogantly. "One does not choose an evil name, the evil name chooses you!"
"I see…" said Scarlett, frowning in annoyance.
Confessional: Scarlett
"Okay, he's starting to irritate me. But I need him around to keep my cover."
End Confessional
"So, Dave…" said Beardo awkwardly.
"Yeah…?" Dave answered equally as awkward.
"Do you like... rap music?"
"Uh, no."
"Dub-step?"
"Bleh! No way!"
"What kind of music... do you like?"
"Whatever's good."
"Hm…" Beardo grumbled.
Confessional: Beardo
"Now that I'm talking, I've been trying to find ways to bond with my team. Shawn and the girls are nice enough, but Dave's a very serious dude and it's hard to find something I have in common with him."
End Confessional
The teams made it to the beach and spotted Chris standing on a speedboat. Once they got close enough, they all popped their eyes upon laying them on the host.
Chris was now clean-shaven. His skin was glowing. His mouth had tightened into a permanent smile. There were no lines or wrinkles of any kind.
"Whoa!" cried Topher.
"Welcome, shark bait!" Chris greeted.
"Chris! You look… different!" Topher observed.
"Just my natural youth shining through!" said Chris dismissively.
"No! No! You did something! Oxygen sleep chamber?"
"No."
"Hydrochloric acid peel?"
"Nope."
"Elastin protein tablets? Anti-oxidant perming serum?"
"Time Machine?" Beardo asked.
"No, uh-uh, and of course not! Now everyone be quiet!"
Topher snapped his fingers and smiled in realization.
Confessional: Topher
"Of course! Botox! That's it! Chris's forehead has less lines than an extra on a movie set! Oh-ho! This is great! Chris is starting to feel threatened! And his attempt to look younger is so obvious, it's pathetic!"
End Confessional
"Today, I will be laughing as you risk your life in the Smash Splash 1-2-3-X Dash!" Chris announced. He gestured to two alternating docks floating in the water. One dock had a teal platform, the other a purple platform. Each dock had a beam leading to another dock, stacked with rubber dueling sticks of the teams' colors.
"Players have to cross the beams, grab a dueling stick at the end of the dock, bring it back to yours, and place it on your board! Two dueling sticks make an X. Three Xs win the challenge!"
"So we just have to get six dueling sticks?" said Beardo.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" said Chris.
"I have a diabolical scheme that will win us this challenge for sure!" Max whispered to his team.
"Anyone who messes with the other team's sticks will result in them forfeiting the challenge for their team!" said Chris.
"Never mind." said Max, pouting.
"Only one member per team may cross at a time. If you fall in the water, that turn gets you no points! So use that dueling stick to swat, trip, or bat your opponent into the water! This is gonna be awesome!"
"What is your fascination with seeing us hurt each other?!" Sammy cried, exasperated.
"I hate teenagers!" said Chris, reasonably. "I mean, who doesn't?"
"Ugh, you're worse than Amy!"
"That's not really saying much, now is it?" Chris retorted. Sammy leered at him. "Look, if you don't attack each other, I'll get bored! And that'll bad news for all of you!"
"Is anyone regretting voting off Rodney?" Topher asked his team.
"NO!" the girls shouted.
"Just asking!" said Topher, intimidated.
"Any particular order we go in?" Dave asked Chris.
"You decide your own order!" said Chris. "Though everyone on the team must go once before you can go again. Now, swim to your docks and wait for my signal to start!"
Chef drove Chris over to another platform which had a lawn chair and umbrella for Chris to relax on. Meanwhile, the contestants swam to their respective docks.
"Nice!" said Shawn, after arriving at his team's dock first. "Zombies can't sneak up on us here!"
Sky arrived second and helped Dave and Ella up. Beardo arrived last, making submarine sonar noises along the way.
"Whew! It's been a while since I went swimming!" said Beardo, hoisting himself up.
"Did anyone else see an electric eel down there?" Dave asked worriedly.
Meanwhile with the Eagles…
"What a mockery!" Max complained, dripping. "Evil should not have to swim!"
"Any new gadget to unleash on team Maskwak?" Scarlett inquired.
"All I have is this wire!" Max exclaimed, exasperated. He held up a copper wire. "I can't something from nothing, fool!"
"Who should go first, Jasmine?" Sammy asked. Jasmine didn't respond. She just stared at the other team. "Hello? Earth to unofficial team leader!"
"Hold on a sec'!" said Jasmine, putting her hand up. "I'm waiting to see who they send out first."
"It looks like they're doing the same thing…" Sammy observed. It was true. Dave, Shawn, and Sky were all watching the Eagles intently, none of them stepping up to the plate.
"I'll go!" Topher volunteered. "We had to balance books on our heads in my On-Camera Poise class! This'll be a cinch!"
"Good thinking, mate. I'll go last." said Jasmine.
Topher marched forward, making it clear to the Tigers that he was first up.
"Topher's going first." said Dave. "We should save Sky's gym skills for a tougher player."
"I'll take him!" said Shawn.
Shawn stepped forward. With both teams ready, Chris blew the air horn.
HONK!
"GO!" he cried via megaphone. Shawn and Topher took off running across the beams.
"Go for it, Shawn!" Sky cheered.
"Looks like Topher is a natural in both the looks and beauty department!" Topher narrated. "Like a younger version of a famous host we all know and-!"
HONK!
"NIX THE NARRATION, TOPH!" Chris scolded.
The two boys reached the opposite ends of their docks. Topher picked up a purple dueling stick and Shawn a teal one. Topher ran towards Shawn, closed his eyes, and let out a war cry. However, this left him an easy target for the more focused Shawn. The Tiger swung his dueling stick into the Eagle's stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He then struck Topher's cheek and sent him into the drink.
"Take that, pretty boy!" Shawn taunted.
"Now, that's what I'm talking about!" Chris commented. "Shawn scores the first point of the day!"
Shawn placed his stick on the Tigers' rack, as Topher swam back to the Eagles' starting platform.
"Me next!" Dave cried.
"Be careful, Dave!" Sky cried.
"Go on, Sammy!" Jasmine encouraged.
Sammy and Dave crossed the beams and retrieved their sticks. They met up in the middle and parried with each other for about ten seconds before Chris got impatient.
"Come on! Up the ante, kids! I'm getting bored here!" he yelled. Dave and Sammy got a bit more aggressive with each other and tried to push each other off.
Meanwhile, Ella stepped up, ready to go as soon as Dave returned. Scarlett took notice of this and spoke to Max.
"It looks like Ella's up next for Team Maskwak." She stated. "You should go next."
"No. We save the best for last!"
"And miss out on an opportunity for evil?" Scarlett asked. "If you wrap that wire around the stick it'll act as a conductor! Then all you'll need is a power source!"
"Electrocuting myself is more stupid than evil." said Max.
"If you hold it by the rubber padding you won't get shocked!"
"…Okay, I'm officially bored! Release the bear!" Chris declared.
Just as it looked like Dave was about to overpower Sammy, a polar bear hopped out of the water and struck Dave in the shoulder, causing him to fall backwards into the water. Sammy yelped as she ran to her team's platform and tied up the score.
Confessional: Dave
"What the heck?! What's a polar bear doing this far south?!"
End Confessional
"Go! I'll find the electricity!" Scarlett offered. "Unless you want me to do it, instead!"
"What?! Never!" Max scoffed. And he ran out, whereas his opponent galloped merrily.
"Hello over there!" Ella called in a singsongy voice.
"You're closer to doom than you realize!" Max threatened. Ella looked back at Max, worried. The villain reached the end of his dock, picked up a purple dueling stick, and wrapped the wire around as per Scarlett's suggestion. Meanwhile, Scarlett herself grabbed the dueling stick Sammy retrieved, fished an electric eel out of the water, and tossed it to Max.
"Max!" she cried. Jasmine, Sammy, and Topher looked at her in confusion. She pretended she had coughed. "Pardon me!"
Max held his stickup by the rubber end. The eel bit onto the metal pole, electrifying it.
"TIME TO EVIL!" Max roared, holding the stick over his head and running back to the start.
"Hey again, board buddy!" Ella cried. She raised an eyebrow, in confusion as Max came down the other side roaring. Ella shrieked and held out her stick in front of her, protectively.
ZAP!
When Max's stick into contact with Ella's, an intense electrical jolt shot through her, worse than anything that she had experienced in the previous challenge, no doubt due to being wet. She spasmed and shook, falling off the beam. Max grinned maliciously.
Everyone except Scarlett gasped.
"Yo, Chris! Foul!" Beardo yelled, but Chris ignored him.
Confessional: Sammy
"Okay, Max is starting to scare me."
Confessional: Max
"Did you see that?! I have never pulled off such cool-looking evil! Pure sinister gold! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaa!"
End Confessional
"Looks like Max just found his mojo!" Chris announced, looking amused.
"Evil mojo!" Max corrected.
"So it looks like Maskwak gets zip! Or should I say 'zap?' And Max completes team Kinosewak's first X! Can Team Maskwak crawl their way back?"
Meanwhile, Ella had dizzily swam back to her Team's platform.
"Do you know where I can find the white rabbit?" she asked, her eyes uncoordinated. She then lost consciousness.
"Sounds like a no!" said Chris. "But find out for sure after the break! On Total… Drama… Pahkitew Island!"
After the commercial break, we cut to Shawn and Dave pulling Ella out of the water. She was unconscious.
"She's not breathing!" Dave cried.
"Lay her down!" Shawn commanded. "I'll apply pressure to her stomach. You give her CPR!"
Dave and Shawn laid Ella down on her back. Shawn pushed on Ella's stomach three times, and Dave opened her mouth. Ella coughed up a bit of water. Dave blew into her mouth. Shawn and Dave repeated this process three times before Ella finally opened her eyes.
GASP!
Ella let out a huge gasp, her lungs desperate for air.
"She's okay!" Shawn declared. The entire team sighed in relief.
"I-I'm sorry I fell in!" Ella cried.
"That was a low blow!" Sky cried indignantly.
"Yo, Maskwak!" Chris cried. "You're falling behind!"
The Tigers turned to see that Scarlett was already at the end of her dock and was picking up another purple stick. Sky sprinted out onto the dock.
Meanwhile, Ella gazed at Dave with a happy smile.
Confessional: Ella
"That was a true fairytale moment! An evil villain almost puts me to sleep forever, and then a handsome boy kisses me and I wake up! I have found my prince charming!"
End Confessional
Sky beat Scarlett to the other side, grabbed a teal stick, and threw it like a javelin. Scarlett, not expecting this, was beaned in the head right as she was about to make it back to her team's platform. The Eagles gasped.
SPLASH!
"Take that, you cheaters!" Sky taunted, flipping the Eagles off.
Confessional: Sky
"I don't usually care for trash-talk, but boom! That's what you get when you hurt my team!"
End Confessional
Sky picked up another dueling stick and sprinted back to her team's platform. Meanwhile, Scarlett hastily returned to her team's dock, after spotting the polar bear in the water.
"Sticking it to them!" Sky cried, hanging up her stick and forming the Tigers' first X. "Pun intended!"
"Sky makes it back to complete her team's first X!" Chris cried. "And now it's Beardo versus Jasmine! Ooh! This is gonna be fun!"
Beardo and Jasmine passed each other. After they grabbed their sticks they headed back to face each other, with intense looks.
"Toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot!" Beardo played reveille with trumpet noises as he charged Jasmine. The Australian girl slammed her dueling stick down onto Beardo's scalp, but it rebounded against his bouncy afro. Left vulnerable for a split second, Beardo jabbed his stick into Jasmine's bosom and sent her backwards.
SPLASH!
"Whoop! Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop!" Beardo celebrated as he brought back a third stick to his cheering team.
"Team Maskwak takes the lead!" Chris announced. "Round two!"
"I wanna go again!" said Beardo.
"Then go for it!" Sky encouraged.
"Topher, I have an idea!" Scarlett grabbed Topher and whispered some advice into his ears.
"Speak English, woman!" Topher barked. Dismayed, Scarlett whispered simpler instructions into his ear. "Oh, you want me to do a feint attack! Why didn't you say so?"
Topher ran out and passed Beardo. The black boy let a roar of a tiger as he charged recklessly towards the wannabe-host. As per Scarlett's suggestion, Topher ducked and slid under Beardo, causing the latter's overpowered attack to cost him his balance.
SPLASH!
"(Whomp-whomp-whomp-whoooooomp!)" Beardo lamented.
Confessional: Beardo
"I guess I got a little overexcited again."
End Confessional
"And the score is tied up, once again!" said Chris.
"My prince!" said Ella, putting her hand on Dave's shoulder. "Allow me to repay your kindness with a point! For our team!"
"Um, sure…" said Dave.
Ella hummed and skipped back out onto the beam. Dave chuckled.
"Teehee. She's cute, isn't she?" Dave asked.
"Huh?" said Sky, looking worried. Dave turned to look at her. Sky smiled, but Dave caught sight of the worry.
Confessional: Sky
"What was that?! Ella with the touch and the prince?! And Dave with the laugh and the cute?! I mean, Dave's free to do what he wants! We're not dating!"
End Confessional
Ella galloped merrily across only to find that her opponent was unfortunately the same one as last time.
"You've come back for more, I see!" Max greeted malevolently. He cackled evilly before the bear hopped out of the water, seized Max, and held him over his head.
"Help!" Max cried. The big white bear violently slammed Max into the dock three times before tossing him into the water.
SPLASH!
He then turned to Ella, snarling threateningly.
"Oh my!" she cried, as the bear towered over her. Dave, Shawn, and Sky gasped.
"Woohoo!" Beardo celebrated. Dave, Shawn, and Sky stared at him, incredulously. "What? He deserved it!"
"What?" Dave asked, confused.
"For hurting Ella!" Beardo clarified.
"Oh, Max!" Dave cried, understanding. "Yeah, screw him!"
"Me and my friend, bear! BFFs beyond compare! Dancing and swimming without a care!" Ella sang. The bear dropped its aggressive demeanor and smiled, allowing Ella to completely bypass him and bring a stick back to her team without further adversity.
"And Ella completes Team Maskwak's second X!" Chris announced. "In the lamest way possible…" he added, annoyed. "Next up looks like Shawn versus Samey!"
Both contestants hesitated.
"What's wrong, sheila?" Jasmine asked.
"I barely beat Dave!" Sammy cried. "Uh, no pun intended! How am I gonna beat Shawn?"
"Just pretend he's Amy!" Jasmine suggested.
"Just pretend he's Amy!" Sammy repeated. "Just pretend he's Amy!"
The two ran out at the same time.
"Mom hates you!" Sammy cried, much to Shawn's confusion. Once Shawn made it to the other side, Jasmine called out to him.
"G'day, Shawn!" she cried. Shawn briefly glanced at her, picked up a stick, and ran back down the beam. Jasmine looked flustered.
Confessional: Jasmine
"I can't figure him out! Is he into me or not!? I wish he'd just give me a sign."
Confessional: Shawn
"I have to make Jasmine think I'm not into her. I just need to find a subtle and delicate way of doing it…"
Confessional: Jasmine
"Any sign at all!"
End Confessional
Shawn and Sammy charged each other and parried the sticks. They got into a shove-of-war. Sammy's rage at her sister was being channeled towards Shawn, which gave her a bit of a boost.
"You're the worst sister ever!" Sammy yelled in his face. With their faces so close together, Shawn got a devious idea.
SMOOCH!
Shawn kissed Sammy right on the lips, eliciting gasps from nearly everyone, the loudest one from Jasmine. Sammy recoiled in shock giving Shawn the opportunity to smack her into the water.
SPLASH!
Shawn ran back to his cheering team.
"Very cunning there, Shawn!" Dave complimented.
Confessional: Sammy
"What just happened?"
End Confessional
"And Shawn extends Team Maskwak's lead with… an unorthodox strategy!" Chris announced. "Now, they only need one more dueling stick to win!"
"You go, Sky!" Dave commanded. "You're our best player!"
"What? Oh yeah! Sure!" said Sky. She raced out onto the field. To her relief, she found that Scarlett was her opponent again. But little did Sky know that Scarlett was prepared this time. As the two faced off again, Sky threw all her might into one swing, but Scarlett adopted the strategy she had given to Topher. She feinted, ducked, and slid, causing Sky to end up like Beardo.
SPLASH!
Confessional: Scarlett
"The laws of force and motion are simple. With Sky being the pivot point, I knew the inertia caused by the mass of the dueling stick would… She swung too hard and fell down."
End Confessional
"Scarlett makes it back to complete the second X!" Chris announced. "And now it's Dave's turn to go up against Team Kinosewak's most capable player! Ho-ho! This is gonna end badly"
"Good going, Scarlett!" Sammy complimented. "We might just win this, yet!"
Dave ran out with a determined look. Jasmine leered at him as she stepped out dramatically. Then she turned to stare at Shawn, who frowned.
"Hello? Jasmine?" Chris cried. "Time to put some Dave on the barbie!"
"Enjoy your swim!" Dave cried.
"Huh? Oof! Whoa-whoa-whoa!"
SPLASH!
While Jasmine was looking at Shawn, Dave completely bypassed her, grabbed a stick, and jabbed it into her cheek, sending her to the water.
"Yes! Score one for the Daveman!" Dave celebrated as he ran to the dock and completed the third and final X, next to his cheering teammates.
"TEAM MASKWAK WINS!" Chris announced. The Soaring Eagles had dropped their jaws. Jasmine didn't even seem to realize that her team had lost, as soon as she resurfaced, she resumed her interrogating stare of Shawn.
The teams swam back to the beach and began drying themselves off.
"Here! Let me help you!" Dave offered Ella, grabbing the princess's towel. She graciously accepted. As Dave dried her off, he caught Skygawking at the two of them with a distressed look again. Dave remembered how passionate Ella had kissed him in the previous challenge. He put two and two together.
Confessional: Dave
"Did I see jealousy in Sky's eyes? Maybe Ella is the key to getting Sky to go out with me!"
End Confessional
"I must thank you for your contribution, minor as it was, to my glorious invention of supreme evil!" Max told Scarlett. Scarlett smiled.
"Oh it was nothing!" she responded modestly.
"You have proven yourself un-useless and somewhat worthy of becoming my new sidekick."
"Sidekick?!" Scarlett gasped, offended.
"Your welcome!"
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I am nobody's lackey!" Scarlett hissed.
"Well, it's not like we'll ever be equals! And being my girlfriend is completely out of the question! Evil does not date!"
"But-wha-fuh-puh-ta-wha-?!" Scarlett began sputtering, so outraged she couldn't even talk properly.
Confessional: Max
"Women. Always so emotional. Never an ounce of logic or practicality within their weak minds."
End Confessional
"Right. I'll give you the evening to think about it. You can be my sidekick. Take it or leave it. Though I expect an answer by the end of the elimination ceremony."
Max threw his towel over Scarlett's face and walked off towards the Eagles' treehouse, leaving Scarlett to fume. She took Max's towel off of her face and threw it to the ground. She stomped off in the opposite direction. Then after a thirty-second walk, she screeched. She started ripping up bushes, kicking rocks and dirt, punching a tree, and grunting in fury. After about fifteen seconds of this, she stopped and panted heavily.
"Are you okay, Scarlett?" Sammy asked, appearing out of nowhere.
"Sammy?! What are you doing here?!" Scarlett asked, startled and embarrassed that someone had witnessed her breakdown.
"You looked upset. I wanted to see if you were okay…"
"Oh. Appreciated, but… no. No, I'm not."
"What's wrong?"
"Max...!" Scarlett snarled angrily.
"Oh. Boy trouble?"
"Boy trouble?! What?! Why do you think I'm sexually attracted to him?!" Scarlett yelled. True, she had been faking an attraction to Max, but only when the two of them were alone.
"Well, you have been spending all your time here with him…"
"That doesn't mean I like him! Jeepers, I didn't think my acting was good enough to fool anyone but him!"
"Then why do you hang out with him? What is it you want from him?"
"What I want is for him to be shot out of a cannon." Scarlett growled, dangerously.
Meanwhile, the Tigers were busy placing take-out orders from Chris. After Shawn placed his order, Jasmine seized his arm from behind.
"Oy, you!"
"Jasmine!" Shawn cried.
"We need to talk!"
Jasmine dragged Shawn off into the foliage.
"What the bloody hell was that?" said Jasmine, her voice sounding controlled.
"What was what? Me kissing Samey?"
"Yes!"
"That… That was just a little diversion!" Shawn explained. He didn't have the stomach to flat out lie and say that he was attracted to Sammy as he had planned. "You know, throw her off her guard so I could beat her?"
"I didn't expect you to be so underhanded."
"Yeah…"
"But what does that mean for us?"
"For us?"
"I thought you were into me! Kissing another girl right in front of me... Are you into me or not?!"
"…No." said Shawn with great difficulty. "No, I'm not."
"Right… Well, coulda fooled me… Later…"
Shawn and Jasmine turned away from each other and walked away.
Confessional: Shawn
"Man, why do I feel like such a piece of crap right now?"
End Confessional
Once Jasmine was out of earshot she ran to the treehouse. Tears fell down her eyes and she was openly weeping by the time she arrived. Not wanting to show any weakness to her team, she ran away once she heard someone approach.
Elimination Ceremony: Pimâpotew Kinosewak
"To the victors go the spoils!" Chris announced. "Compliments of Spoily's Second-Hand Food Emporium! Where one man's trash is another man's tapeworm!"
Chef delivered bags to the Tigers, each embroidered with a picture of a rotten apple.
"Now. One of you gots ta go!" Chris announced, turning to the Eagles. The Tigers had not even opened their food bags and were waiting anxiously for the verdict to be delivered.
"Samey, Topher, Scarlett, you're safe!" Chris tossed marshmallows to the three. Jasmine shifted nervously, not surprised to be in the bottom. Max smiled arrogantly and closed his eyes.
"Max, you're making a lot of enemies! Not only does everyone on the opposing team hate you, but evidently someone on your team also hates you. Also, you're proving to be a very dangerous person to have around!"
"Why thank you!" said Max, seemingly unaware that Chris was explaining why he could be going home.
"Jasmine! You were the only one who didn't score a point for your team! You let your emotions cloud your judgment and stop your intimidating physique from doing its job!"
"Can we just get this over with, please?!" Jasmine begged. Her eyes were red and puffy.
"Hopefully, you learn from the mistake. You're safe." Chris tossed a marshmallow to Jasmine, who caught it apathetically. Scarlett grinned wickedly. "Max! You're going home."
"WHAT?!" Max yelled. The Tigers all cheered, save for Ella who merely sighed in relief. "REVENGE! YOU ALL SHALL WISH YOU NEVER MET ME!"
"We already do, Max." said Dave. "Trust me!"
"THE PAIN I WILL INFLICT UPON YOU SHALL-!" Max was interrupted by Chef, who stuffed a bagful of marshmallows into his mouth, effectively gagging him. He then threw the supervillain into a large garbage sack and walked down to the Cannon of Shame.
"Au revoir, imbecile!" said Scarlett, quietly.
"Suh-weet! I hated that guy!" Beardo exclaimed.
"Yeah! Me too!" said Dave. The two boys high-fived.
Max had managed to spit out his marshmallow gag by the time he was loaded into the Cannon.
"This is inconceivable! An unforgivable breach of etiquette! The villain is supposed to make it to the final four at least!"
"Then I guess you're not the villain!" said Chris.
KABOOM!
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERGH!" Max cried as he soared over the horizon. Scarlett grinned wickedly.
Confessional: Scarlett
"I am no one's sidekick! And Max was never the villain! He was only the villain's pawn. I suppose I had a great opportunity to eliminate Jasmine today, but I decided that my mental health took priority. Besides, he's already served his purpose well enough."
Confessional: Beardo
"I finally found something Dave and I have in common: we both hate Max! Sure, hating someone probably isn't the best foundation for a friendship, but hey! It's a start!"
End Confessional
"Finally! That freak is gone! I am so happy!" Chris announced. "Wanna know who's next to be gone? It won't be long! Right here on Total… Drama… Pahkitew Island!"
Epilogue
The Tigers walked back to their cave in high spirits, Dave and Beardo at the back of the pack.
"Woo! No more Max!" Beardo cheered. "We already got rid of the villain!"
"This calls for a party!" Shawn declared.
"Yes! I second that!" said Ella.
"I'm down!" said Dave. "What about you, Sky?"
"Sure..." she said, distractedly.
"Alright! I'll provide the music!" said Beardo.
"No more Max..." Dave sighed in satisfaction. "Now if we could only get rid of Chris!"
The Tigers chuckled.
"Good one, Dave!" said Beardo. "But I... don't think we can get rid of him... while Chef's still here."
"Yeah speaking of Chef..." said Dave, humming thoughtfully.
"What's up?" Beardo asked.
"You didn't hear this from me, but..." Dave whispered his theory into Beardo's ear, too soft for the cameras to pick up. Beardo laughed.
"You know, that would not surprise me!" he said.
That evening, Sammy tossed and turned in her sleep.
"No... Why me...? I'm the nice one..." she muttered. Suddenly, she was startled awake as though she had heard a gunshot. "Aah! Oh, thank goodness. Just a nightmare." Sammy sat up for a couple of seconds before she heard the sound of someone weeping. Shaking her head and clearing drowsiness, she got out to investigate. It wasn't coming from Scarlett, as the brainiac was smiling in her sleep, and it was definitely too feminine to be Topher, so who could it have been?
"Jasmine?" she uttered in disbelief. She stepped outside onto the deck. The sobbing got louder. Sammy looked up. Sure enough, Sammy could see her friend covering her face in the light of the moon, the sound of pained sobbing, barely muffled by her hands. Sammy climbed to the roof of the treehouse but found she couldn't reach Jasmine's branch. She sighed sadly and went back to her bed, resolving to talk to her in the morning.
Votes
Jasmine: Max
Max: Jasmine
Sammy: Max
Scarlett: Max
Topher: Jasmine
Results
Max: 3 votes (Eliminated)
Jasmine: 2 votes
Rankings
10. Max
11. Rodney
12. Amy
13. Sugar
14. Leonard
Author's note: This was my favorite canon episode. The challenge was fun, Dave was at his best, and all six of my favorite characters were still present. So it was kind of hard to improve it, apart from the ending. Sammy is going a bit further this time because she's one of the more interesting characters here. Max, I was planning on eliminating him in the next episode, as I originally wanted the Eagles to win this challenge. Sorry, Max fans!