V
There was a time some time ago
When every sunrise meant a sunny day, oh a sunny day
But now when the morning light shines in
It only disturbs the dreamland where I lay, oh where I lay
I used to thank the lord when I'd wake
For life and love and the golden sky above me
But now I pray the stars will go on shinin'
You see in my dreams you love me
Daybreak is a joyful time
Just listen to the songbird harmonies, oh the harmonies
But I wish the dawn would never come
I wish there was silence in the trees, oh the trees
If only I could stay asleep, at least I could pretend you're thinkin' of me
'Cause nighttime is the one time I am happy
You see in my dreams... We climb and climb and at the top we fly I keep hopin' one day I'll awaken
Let the world go on below us, we are lost in time
And I don't know really what it means
All I know is that you love me, in my dreams
And somehow she'll be lying by my side
And as I wonder if the dawn is really breakin'
She touches me and suddenly I'm alive
And we climb and climb and at the top we fly
Let the world go on below us, we are lost in time
And I don't know really what it means
All I know is that you love me, in my dreams
We climb and climb and at the top we fly
Let the world go on below us, we are lost in time
And I don't know really what it means
All I know is that you love me, in my dreams, oh
Oh oh oh oho In my dreams...
In My Dreams, REO Speedwagon
Over the next two months, despite the unfortunate day she had blown up at Jo, Blair was getting better. She had re-dedicated herself to her physical rehab regimen, Jo next to her as much as she could, knowing that a gym wasn't really a place for a toddler now going on eighteen months old. DC had begun to walk, finally at sixteen months, his once-broken leg having slowed him down.
Nothing slowed the young boy down any longer, save sleep.
As often as they could, Rose, Charlie, or Monica, who still wasn't quite ready to go back to Europe, until she knew her daughter was truly going to be all right, would watch DC when Blair went to either physical therapy or her counseling sessions with Dr. Matthews. Jo often attended those as well.
Blair didn't get as frustrated over not remembering everything as she did early on in her recovery. If her memory returned, it returned, if it didn't, she wanted to make new memories. And the more time she and Jo spent together, the more Blair realized that Rose Polniaczek might have been right-that love can transcend even the most grievous of events such as the car accident.
"Remember, Princess", Jo would tell her when she was feeling a little worn, "I made it back from five years of abusing my mind and body-and that was my choice. I made it back because of you. You can beat this thing. I believe in you."
That belief fueled Blair to meet each day as a day step closer to being whole again.
One evening while eating dinner with DC and Jo, Blair was struck by how normal the scene in front of her seemed-her son, and the woman who she had been intimate with, talking, laughing, or in DC's case, still baby-talking, but having a relaxing, enjoyable meal.
"What's on your mind, Princess?"
Blair smiled back at Jo warmly. "Just realizing that as bad as the accident was, and what it took from me, I've gained such a new appreciation of life."
Jo nodded in understanding. "I went through the same thing. At first when I cam back, 'normal' just freaked me out: eating at a table, or sleeping in a clean bed, or being able to take a shower and brush my teeth. Things we take for granted."
"I don't need details on not showering or brushing teeth, Jo. Eww." Both women laughed, David mocking his mothers. "Maybe I haven't had such a dramatic change, as you did, but it could have all been gone in an instant. From what I can see, I'm not overtly religious, but even I think the Good Lord has given me a second chance at life for a reason."
"That's the best way to look at it, Blair", Jo said with feeling. "Appreciate every day. Lord knows I do right now, I coulda lost..." Jo still choked up thinking how close she came to losing everything she loved.
Blair reached across the table. "But you didn't, Jo", she reminded the other woman. "We're both here. DC is as good as new, growing by leaps and bounds, and I'm now only using a cane to get around, my leg, my hip, my pelvis, and my scrambled brain getting healthier every day."
"You said the part about scrambled, blondie, not me", Jo teased her.
"It's a whole blonde thing, Jo", Blair ribbed back, both of them chuckling. She became serious. "I know, sure as I breathe Jo, that it's frustrating to you that we're still not intimate." Blair used to stumble before saying that word, but not any longer. "Yet you haven't wavered. I'm so blessed to have you."
"Don't worry about the intimate part for now, Blair. You're getting stronger each day. When your mind and body are ready, well, we'll know. That is", Jo amended with a blush, "if you ever want to get back to that point."
"I think I do want to get back to that point, Jo, but I'm afraid that if I'm not physically and psychologically ready, it could be disastrous for both of us."
"Then we're on your timeline, Princess", Jo assured her. "I told you when you first woke up, I ain't leaving, and that still stands. It will always stand."
When Monica wasn't in Rockville Centre with Jo and David, she was up in Peekskill spending more and more time with Bailey. She had been truly overwhelmed that, even after such a short time at Eastland, that her youngest daughter had grown so much in almost every way. Like Blair and Jo, she excelled in her studies, had become quite the social butterfly, and even at her age, was beginning to find her voice and discover what was important to her.
With Blair back on Long Island, Jo had sold the mammoth house that they had owned for a short time, Monica moving into a modest but well-appointed apartment close to the Eastland Campus. She often had dinner with both Bailey and Edna Garrett.
"Melody gave me some grief today about having two mom's. I think I handled it pretty well", Bailey said with a smile.
"How did you handle it, dear?"
Her smile broadened as she looked right at her mother. "I told her to take a long jump off a short pier."
Edna couldn't help but snicker in a very un-ladylike manner, Monica looking at her as if she'd swallowed a bird. Monica looked back at Bailey again, who was trying-and failing-to hold in her own laughter, Monica bursting out in laughter herself. A genuine, happy laugh, something she had not done often in her life.
"Let me guess where you got that phrase from, Bailey", Monica, still chuckling. "Her first name begins with a J, and her last name begins with a P."
"Right the first time, Mother", Bailey said with a wink.
Edna burst out laughing this time. "You sure have your Joism's down, don't you young lady?"
"I'm sure I'll develop my own Blairism's pretty soon, but I'm just waiting for those to return to her vocabulary."
The older women spoke at the same time. "You mean 'turn blue'?" Edna and Monica looked at each other, and cackled again, Bailey wondering what had got into both of them.
Watching Monica interact with her daughter, Edna felt happy that Monica was finally seeing life not as a competition and whoever has the most money wins, but something to be enjoyed, and done so with people she truly loved and cared for. Had Blair seen this moment, Edna was convinced it would make her heart burst with joy.
Blair, Jo, and David visited Peekskill a few weekends, Monica and Jo's Parent's joining them. The school year was almost over for Bailey, and the group was enjoying a picnic near the campus.
"So Dr. Washington says you can ditch the cane in a little bit, Blair?" Charlie was drinking a cold beer, as was Rose, enjoying the beautiful spring day.
"That's right, Charlie", Blair nodded. It still made Charlie, Rose, and Jo hurt a little that Blair had not returned to calling Jo's folks mom and dad, but none of them pushed it, realizing that it would come-if it came-when Blair's mind was ready. "I still may have a little limp, and in about a year she wants me to see a specialist to perhaps see if they can get rid of the limp, but my leg should get the 'all ahead full' before too long."
"That's wonderful, dear", Rose said proudly. Before the accident, Rose had marveled how her relationship with Blair had grown and developed, yet now when she looked at her other 'daughter', she saw a strong, resilient, very tough woman when she needed to be, who was capable of so much love and compassion. She was as proud of how far Blair had come since the accident as she had been after Jo returned from her journey. "I wouldn't pitch the cane or the walker just yet, you know, just in case."
"Wasn't planning to, Rose", Blair said, as David walked over to her, sitting on her laugh. "Oof", Blair said with a laugh. "The days of carrying you around are coming to a close young man."
"I'll just sling him over my shoulder when he doesn't want to walk", Jo chided, Blair sticking her tongue out at her.
"There will be no slinging of my grandson, Joanna Polniaczek", Monica said with a mock severity. There would always be some tension between Jo and Monica-they had simply been at each others' throats for too many years-but the older woman had seen a side of not only her oldest daughter, but of Jo and her parents, that had opened Monica's eyes to the fact that she had been wrong about Jo in so many ways. She may never get to love Blair's partner, but she respected her now in a very real way. "That's a grandma's prerogative, isn't it Rose?"
"Damn Right", Rose said with a laugh, Monica winking at her.
"You two and Mrs. G. are going off your rocker's if you ask me", Bailey said.
"Is that another Joism, Bailey Ann?"
Jo looked at Monica. "A what?"
"A Joism", Bailey echoed. "I've been flingin' them all over the place since I got her. Mrs. Garrett doesn't know if she loves it or wants to strangle me for it."
Jo got up with a grin, ready to chase Bailey, who took off across the park. "You come back here, blondie junior! I'm the only one who can use Joism's!"
The others laughed uproariously at the site, Blair once again realizing how lucky Jo was in her life.
Two weeks later, late one night, long after David had gone to bed, Blair and Jo were in bed. They had begun sleeping in the same bed shortly after their big fight, and Blair's realization about what was behind her anger. They didn't snuggle much, but did hold hands, and hug occasionally.
Both of them were sound asleep, Blair actually snuggled into Jo a little bit, almost spooning the other women. In the almost complete blackness of the night, her eyes were moving back-and-forth under closed lids, obviously dreaming, occasionally mumbling something under her breath. It wasn't loud enough to wake up Jo.
Her eyes started to move faster, her body becoming a little more animated, when Blair suddenly said bolt upright. "Oh, my God", she exclaimed loudly, her eyes wide.
That woke Jo up. "Princess, you okay? Did you have a nightmare?" Jo grabbed her protectively after turning on the light on her nightstand.
For a moment, Blair didn't respond, simply staring straight ahead. Slowly, with her eyes still wide, she turned to face Jo, her cheeks suddenly glowing, and a shaky smile filled with deep emotion on her face. "Joey, turn blue..."
"That's not exactly that answer I was expecting', blondie", Jo said, the import of what had just been said not hitting her right away. Then she stopped, her own eyes widening. "Wh...what did you say, Blair?"
The smile never left Blair's face but she began to cry. "I said turn blue, Joey." The cry turned into happy sobs as it hit both of them.
"Blair...you...you just called me Joey. You haven't done that..."
Blair moved very close to Jo. "I remember, baby. I think I remember almost everything! I remember us, and Daddy, and our days at Eastland. Oh, my God Joey..."
They lunged into a crushing embrace, Jo crying as well, the two rocking each other back and forth, never wanting the moment to pass.
"I never thought I'd get all of you back, Princess", Jo said with a thick, scratchy voice. "I thought I had lost part of you forever."
"I did too Jo, for a long time." She broke the embrace looking at Jo Polniaczek. "But when I look at you now? Right now? I see...oh my God, I see the woman that I love more than anyone in the world, and who I want to be with forever. Oh, Joey, I remember!"
They hugged fiercely again, careful not to wake David. After a good five minutes, their tears slowed, the smiles still on their faces. As they calmed, Blair took both of Jo's hands into hers. "Joanna Marie, you never gave up on me, even when I almost died after the accident. You're strength, your determination, your..."
"My driving you mad?" Jo couldn't resist.
Blair laughed delightedly. "Yes, that too, but I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say that...your love never wavered. You could easily have given up on me, and no one would have thought less of you. But you didn't", Blair said with a wondrous cry. "You didn't."
"I never was gonna give up on you. You're the love of my life, Blair Warner."
"And I know-finally, again, I know-that you're the love of my life, Joey." She looked deep into Jo's eyes, again seeing the depths of what stirred her very soul. "Joey, kiss me. Please."
Jo didn't hesitate, crashing her lips into Blair's, the two of them embracing again as they savored again that which had almost been lost, which now again exploded between them.
'I love you, Joey", Blair said, still sobbing, but not stopping the kisses. "I love you with all my heart."
"You're my soul, my very life, Princess", Jo wept. "You and DC are all I ever will need. I love you so damn much." They kissed until they were exhausted. Being 3 am, that didn't take long. As they finally broke the kiss, their breathing heavy, the clung to each other.
"I want to make love to you so bad, Jo", Blair said with a shudder, "but it's 3 am, and if DC should wake up..."
"We'd never get back to sleep", Jo finished the sentenced, the way they had done for a good portion of their lives, both of them laughing. "I hear ya, baby. I think we're going to need a 'couples weekend' comin' up here pretty soon, if you get my drift."
"Took the words right outta my mouth, Joey", Blair said, not able to get enough of saying the term of endearment for her lover. They kissed passionately for a few more moments, both of them using fingertips to touch the other, making sure this was real.
The finally snuggled back into the bed, this time Blair firmly in Jo's arms.
"If you wake up in the morning, Princess, and you don't remember again, I'm gonna scream." Jo was smiling broadly when she spoke, Blair again laughing, kissing Jo again.
"I'm never going to forget how much I love you, my barbarian, ever again. I've got you back, I'm never letting go."