5

Jack had learnt a new word in their language that Ianto could have strangled Max for as he cuddled Ianto and kissed his hair "hey there Fatil"

Ianto blinked. Fatil. The word for a busty, buxom woman. Ianto knew he had to scold his son who he knew was behind this, his father's humour clearly strong in this one.

"So... which car did he decide on for a test drive?"

"Actually… you will not believe this. He saw the Harleys and went insane… I mean… hands flapping and wide eyes… he even took pictures of them with his phone!" Jack laughed.

"Not Charlotte!" Ianto said with horror, his favourite bike was not allowed to be ridden by anyone else.

"No… the blue one"

"Primrose. Oh… OK" Ianto nodded, "So… he liked it?"

"Likes speed, yeah" Jack smiled, "I rode the old soft tail, we went like stink, left the squad behind."

Ianto rolled his eyes, not even caring to scold over the mad men who left their security details behind like dogs in the dust. No doubt they had bonded. Then he frowned "And the child?"

"Oh, on the fuel tank" Jack deadpanned then laughed at Ianto's face "Darling. He was in the pace car with Gareth!"

"Bustard" Ianto muttered then smiled softly letting the sun come out.

"I want another" Jack blurted.

"Another bike? After saying no more horses? Really?"

"No… boy. I want another boy. Don't' get me wrong, I love my little girl but… I can see boys with me getting dirty, riding bikes and…. What!" Jack let his voice peter out as Ianto glowered at him.

"Are you trying to tell me girls can't change out an engine in a car? A GIRL can't put you on your arse? Can't fire a gun and take down an assassin? Cariad… she can ride like a demon, I think once she is big enough for a motorbike she will leave you AND her brother behind! She is a speed demon too." Ianto stopped and took a breath "Sorry… I didn't mean to scold like that. But… careful what you say. What if she heard you? Thought that she could not be anything she wanted to be?"

Jack knew Ianto was right and sighed "Right. Sorry."

"Now… Toshi might kick you in the gonads too and I rather like that part of you meself" Ianto said leaning in to kiss him, showing that he forgave him.

"Oh, just that part?" Jack asked playfully.

"Well… it is rather nice" Ianto winked, laughing softly as they cuddled together.

.

.

"So, each one has a story" Ianto ended his tour of the garden with the pretty woman who didn't seem to say much, preferring to watch him with a silent calm that was rather unnerving… not that Ianto would show it.

As they began to walk back towards the back entrance the heavens opened and Ianto yelped, shucking off his coat to hold up over her perfect hair as they ran for it, their security detail moving swiftly to get them inside where Ianto laughed softly as he shook out his jacket and checked her, then said "Perfect. Lovely."

She blinked slowly, then turned and walked away without a word of thinks.

Weird.

Ianto shrugged it off and headed off to find his children. Maybe they would be glad of his company, even if the visitors seemed unimpressed.

.

.

"So… she just walked away?" Malcolm asked, making Ianto annoyed as he glanced up at him.

"Mal, are you really going to make me repeat myself knowing how snotty it makes me?" Ianto asked.

"Well… apparently she was a little put out by your manhandling of her" Malcolm said as he glanced at Jack, "Her husband is also incensed that you would dare touch his woman."

"Touch… I held my jacket over her head. She is shorter, I was able to do so without touching her, I never touched a hair on her head" Ianto frowned as he rose from the floor where he was trying to fit Max's toys into a basket he knew deep down they would never fit into.

"Well, we will have to get all the footage from the cameras there at the event" Malcolm warned, "If they can prove you even momentarily brushing against her, they can claim regency assault."

"This is bloody silly… I was being nice. She was such a cold fish… are you serious?" Ianto demanded, now really pissed.

"Come on love. We know you will be vindicated and she will look silly" Jack said, then groaned "And they will use that too, right?"

"Probably" Malcolm sighed "But we will give it a go to clear you."

"Clear me…like a murder suspect" Ianto snorted "I am a fucking king."

.

.

Malcolm looked at the five different photos of the same moment caught on camera. Four of the five showed no contact but the angle of this fifth one could be misconstrued as a contact. He stared at it for a long time, then nodded.

The shot disappeared.

Problem solved.

Right?