A/N: Sarah has agreed to an outing with Chuck in the morning, just the two of them on a road trip to run some errands. It'll be fine, right?

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

Chapter 5

"Running errands, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" Sophia asked with an amused snort as she wiped down the kitchen counter.

"Oh God," Sarah huffed good naturedly as she took a sip of coffee. "We're just friends. That's it." Sophia stopped her work, giving Sarah a comically flat look. "What?! It's true."

"Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that," the older woman mused, chuckling as she shook her head.

"I'm not here looking for a relationship. I moved here to try to straighten out my life."

"Oh, you're gonna straighten some things out, I bet," Sophia teased, her grin showing how pleased she was with herself. "And I hate to ruin it for you, but love doesn't happen when you want it to. It doesn't care what your schedule is. Love happens when it happens, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. When it comes knocking, you have to decide if you're ready to accept it or not." As if the gods were plotting against Sarah, they were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Speak of the devil…" the older woman chuckled as she continued her chores.

Sarah was thankful for the interruption, not wanting to address Sophia's comments. She wasn't sure if she'd recognize love if it reached up and smacked her in the face. Undeniably, she felt something for Chuck, but what that was, it was too early to tell. Given who she was, or rather what she'd been and done, she wasn't sure if she was even capable of love, much less deserving of it.

Stepping into the foyer, Sarah pulled open the door to see a smiling Chuck standing on the other side, hands in his pockets, looking a bit shy. She couldn't help but smile in return, especially at the way he was appraising her but fighting so hard not to stare.

"Morning. You look… g-great. Really, really… great. Um… R-ready to go?" he asked, gesturing with his thumb over his shoulder, trying to quickly change the subject. Behind him sat a relatively new, four-door Toyota pickup that took Sarah by surprise. Chuck followed her gaze but turned back, giving her a grin. "What? Were you expecting some vintage Fiat truck with a wooden bed or something?"

"No… Ok, maybe. Does that make me a horrible person?" she asked, chuckling at herself.

"Not at all. To be fair, there is one of those at the farm, but this is a much more pleasurable ride. I thought you might appreciate this a little more. It's no Porsche, obviously," he stated with a cheeky grin. Chuck noticed that his comment made her blush for some reason.

"Errands… ha!" came a voice from behind her as Sophia passed in the hall. Sarah closed her eyes for a moment, willing herself not to react to the older woman's attempt to make her flustered. Opening them again, she could see the confused look on Chuck's face, so she grabbed her purse and pulled the door closed behind her.

"Let's go!"

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Aside from a few pleasantries, they rode in silence for almost ten minutes. It was beginning to become awkward, as was apparent by Chuck drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. Deciding to make the attempt at a "normal" relationship, friend or otherwise, Sarah cleared her throat before breaking the silence.

"So, you haven't really told me much about yourself," she began, glancing over at Chuck. He seemed almost startled, being pulled from his thoughts. He spared a glance her way before turning back to look at the road.

Shrugging, Chuck twisted his lips to the side in a slight frown. "Not much to tell, I guess. To be fair, I know next to nothing about you either. All I know is that you were a world traveler and wanted a break from your old life, or so I've gathered." Chuck glanced toward her, seeing her bouncing her head from side to side before nodding in agreement.

"That's a fair assessment, I suppose."

"Let me guess. You were a supermodel, traveling the world on photo shoots and all the glitz and glamour became too much?" Chuck asked with a cheeky grin. Chuckling, Sarah shook her head in amusement.

"Not exactly."

"Are you sure? I mean, it all fits. You're stunning, you have this grace about you like… like every step, every movement, you make is fluid, like it's all intentional and choreographed. Plus, you speak a lot of languages, which would undoubtedly come in handy when you travel the globe," Chuck added with a raised eyebrow, holding out his hand as if challenging her to argue his point. Sarah let out a soft chuckle, trying to hide her blush. Clearing her throat, she chanced a glance at him before looking out the window at the scenery.

"Those were a lot of compliments you snuck in there. Thank you, but no. I was not a model. I'd … I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind? I'm trying to put it behind me and talking about it-"

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No. No. I started it. I'm the one that opened that can of worms. I don't usually do small talk, but I thought I should try. It's not fair of me to ask you about your past if I don't want to talk about my own," she admitted, sighing in frustration at herself. The ride continued in silence, but she could see Chuck stealing glances at her periodically.

"What d'you want to know?" he asked out of the blue, pulling Sarah from her thoughts.

"I'm sorry?" Shaking her head, she turned to look at him, her brow furrowed.

"My past. Ask me whatever you want to know."

"Chuck, you don't have to -"

"I trust you, Sarah. I want to try to be honest with you and maybe, one day, I'll earn your trust too. That way, if you feel like talking about it -your past or whatever- you'll know I'll be here to listen. No pressure, no judgement. So, if there's something you want to know about me, I'll do my best to answer it." Chuck turned briefly to look at Sarah, showing the sincerity in his eyes before turning back to look at the road.

Sarah was taken aback by his confession. Trust was something she didn't do easily. It was a luxury she'd never been able to afford, not since she was a child. Trust was contextual. She'd learned to trust people in a professional context; Carina, Zondra, eventually, and then Bryce. Sarah could trust them to do their job, to have her back on a mission. Gradually, she grew to trust Carina and Zondra in a personal context, sharing bits of her personal life, her thoughts and feelings on things outside of the job. Still, she was guarded, never letting them in fully. Bryce, that had been a mistake. She had trusted him, probably too much, in both a professional and personal context and it had come back to bite her, causing her to reinforce her walls to keep people out.

Sarah still watched Chuck and wondered how he could trust her so easily. He barely knew her, and she'd already proven that she was keeping her past from him. What could she have possibly done to earn his trust? Perhaps he just trusted blindly, never putting any thought into the consequences of placing trust in someone and then having it broken. How did he know that she wouldn't break his trust? In her gut, she knew she wouldn't. She had no idea why, Sarah just knew she'd never willingly break his trust in her. It was an honor that he'd bestowed upon her, as foolhardy as it may be, but she would take that honor seriously. The question was, could she learn to trust him? If so, in what context? What was it that she couldn't trust him with? As moments of her life, her childhood, her career, flitted through her mind, she was at a loss for anything that she felt he couldn't be trusted with. Somehow, she just knew that she could tell him anything and he would keep that knowledge safe and would never use it against her. Trusting him with that knowledge was one thing, but what would that knowledge do to him, or worse, to "them". It was a catch-22 situation. If there was ever to be a "them", she would have to tell him everything, but if he knew everything, could there be a "them"? Would he see her as a monster, irreparably broken, or could he see past it all? It seemed like too much to ask of anyone, especially of someone as kind as Chuck.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Sarah focused on the moment at hand. Chuck had given her an opening to learn more about him. There were so many things she wanted to ask him, but there was one question that had crept to the forefront of her thoughts. When she turned to look at him she could see a look of concern on his face.

"I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong? Was… was that too much?" he asked, sighing in frustration with himself. Sarah realized that her long silence or some expression on her face must have given him that impression. Rushing out, she waved her hands, dismissing his worries.

"No. No, not at all," she reassured him, placing her hand on his arm for emphasis. The touch, though innocent, felt more intimate than she'd expected, at least for her, so she pulled it away just as quickly. "Thank you for trusting me. That means more than you know," she admitted, giving him an appreciative smile. "OK. I was a little curious," she continued, shifting in her seat to better face him. "You said you fell in love with this place, Serenity that is. I can believe that. It is a pretty incredible place, but I have to believe that to uproot yourself like that, to leave your sister and all that you've known behind… I can't help but think there might be another reason. I dunno," she paused, looking away from him for a moment, "maybe I'm just projecting. Maybe I want to believe that I'm not the only one who was running from something," she admitted softly. Chuck was silent for several seconds before he blew out a breath.

"You're not wrong," he replied, not taking his eyes off the road. Sarah shifted her gaze to look at his profile, hoping he would continue. "I suppose I was running away, from a lot of things actually. It's probably pretty cliche, but a failed relationship was one reason. The constant memories that got dredged up. I'd hear a song on the radio, or I'd drive past a place we used to go together or… or I'd see a car that looked like hers." He let out a one note chuckle at himself, shaking his head. "There were even times when I thought I heard her voice in a crowd. I'd get my hopes up that she was coming back to tell me how wrong she was, how much she missed me and wanted me back. Those ghosts haunted me for a long time."

"I'm sorry. What happened?" she asked before she had the good sense to realize that rehashing that obvious painful memory was the last thing he wanted to do. Chuck turned to see her wincing at her own question, and he hummed a quiet laugh.

"It's OK. I don't mind. We met in college. She was my first real girlfriend. Shocking. I know," he said with an eye roll and no shortage of sarcasm. Sarah had noticed that Chuck had a bad habit of putting himself down, using humor at his own expense to soften the blow on tense topics. She had a good mind to reprimand him for it but opted to let him continue for fear he might not want to share anymore.

"When we graduated and started to make our way in the world, Jill -that's her name- started to follow her dreams and I followed mine. I was under the mistaken impression that we shared some of those dreams, the way we talked when we were in college. You know, a life together, get engaged, married; the whole nine yards. Well, in a sense I was right. She did want those things… just not with me," he admitted with a shrug and a strained smile.

"Oh, no."

"Yeah. We were out at dinner one night, just talking about our days, and she just... sprang it on me. I didn't even get the 'it's not you, it's me' speech. No, I got the 'it's you, everything about you, and oh by the way, I've been seeing someone else for the past two months' speech."

"Jesus…"

Chuck let out a chuckle but there seemed to be no humor in it. "I should have known; should've figured it from the start. Jill was smart and pretty, way out of my league. Nobody like her, well nobody at all really, had ever taken an interest in me before. I felt so lucky, so I did everything I could to prove that I was worthy of her. For almost two years, I thought I had, but apparently not. When the opportunity presented itself, she found an upgrade," he snorted, shaking his head.

"I very much doubt that," Sarah chimed in, frowning at his assertion.

"Oh, no. He's the greatest thing since sliced bread," Chuck continued dejectedly. "He was suave and handsome, not to mention wealthy and well connected back in LA. The guy was some sort of investment banker or venture capital manager or something," Chuck said with a shrug. "I was just getting started and barely had two nickels to rub together. She saw a chance for a better life, and she took it. I guess I shouldn't blame her. Isn't that what we all want? The best possible life for ourselves?"

"I suppose so. I don't think that excuses her behavior though. If she wasn't happy, then she should've talked with you about it, been honest about what she wanted out of your relationship. What she did was pretty shitty," Sarah declared, her face scrunched in anger.

"Maybe," Chuck replied, shrugging again. "Regardless, it was over, and I put the blame squarely on my shoulders. I was pretty devastated, but mostly, I was angry with myself. If I couldn't be enough for her, I couldn't be enough for anyone."

"Oh, Chuck-"

"No. No. I get that it's a little melodramatic. Well, now I do, but, at the time, I was wallowing in self-pity. As a means of dealing with it -or not dealing with it as the case might be- I sank all my time and efforts into my work, barely even taking time for friends or my sister. Then one day I looked up, and while I had a modicum of success, what did it matter? I had nobody to share it with, or so my sister kept telling me. To appease her, I went on a few dates that Ellie had set me up with, but they were all catastrophic.

"So, there I was. I was still alone. I'd alienated the people that cared about me most. For what? A job? Money? No amount of money was going to fix what was broken, and that was me. I was broken, or at least my perspective was askew. That's when Ellie and Devon convinced me to come here on vacation with them," he said, gesturing to the countryside through the windshield of the truck. "I guess you could say I found part of myself here."

"How so?" Sarah asked, still watching Chuck intently, captivated by his story. It was rare for her to have someone share a piece of themselves like this; something real. While the story itself was both sad and upsetting, it was a little exciting to learn more about Chuck and his past.

"It was actually Guilia. When I stumbled upon her shop, she showed me around the place and told me a bit about the history of Serenity. The people take great pride in their hard work, even though they receive little in the way of material wealth. They have enough to get by, they have each other and, above all else, they're happy. They found a greater purpose in their lives, beyond acquiring wealth or things. I realized that I, too, was rich in things that went beyond money. I had Ellie, and Devon, plus my friend Morgan too, of course. Still, there were things that were missing, but I didn't know what exactly.

"So, I sat down under that tree, the one from our picnic, and just looked out over everything. I watched the grass and trees sway in the breeze, the people in the distance working at the farm and the vineyard. It was so calm and peaceful, it just felt so … I dunno how to describe it. Healing, maybe? That may sound cheesy but being here and spending an afternoon with the people here changed me somehow. I hadn't thought about LA, Jill or work; I was just in the moment."

Chuck was silent for a long while, staring out at the road, deep in thought. Sarah had hung on his every word. The fact that he had taken her to the same spot where he'd had his epiphany, of sorts, had shared it with her, felt really important. It was like he was sharing a bit of himself with her by doing that. Perhaps it was her turn to be melodramatic, but she couldn't help but feel honored by him sharing that place, and the memory, with her. Sarah understood what he meant about the 'healing' effects that Serenity possessed. It shouldn't have come as a surprise, given the name of the hamlet. It was serene and she, too, had found herself forgetting many of the painful memories of her past. As she studied Chuck's face, she wondered if it wasn't just Serenity that had that effect on her.

Blinking and shaking his head, Chuck turned to look at Sarah, noticing her looking at him. The color rose in his cheeks as he cleared his throat and returned his gaze to the road. "Sorry. I rambled on and on and then just kinda spaced out there."

"It's OK. There was a lot to unpack there. So... you found what you were missing in Serenity?" Sarah asked, tilting her head in question. Chuck turned back to look at Sarah, an indecipherable expression on his face. She was great at reading people, but for some reason she just couldn't quite pick up what he was thinking. She watched him lick his lips and swallow thickly before turning back to face the road.

"Maybe. At least I'm beginning to think so," he stated, removing one hand from the steering wheel and wiping it against the thigh of his jeans. Perhaps this talk of his past was making him uncomfortable, causing him to grow nervous.

"So that's when you decided to quit your job and move back here?" Sarah asked, trying to push the conversation forward, hopefully to happier thoughts.

"Not exactly. It wasn't until I got home, and I sank back into my everyday life that I realized how miserable I was. Just being in LA I felt this … weight, this oppressive force was just pushing me down. It was exhausting," he huffed out, visibly slumping in his seat.

"I know that feeling," she interjected before she could stop herself. Chuck stole a quick glance her way and Sarah knew she couldn't just blurt something out like that and not follow it up with sharing something as well. Taking a steadying breath, she looked ahead through the windshield at the scenery flying by. "No matter where you go or what you do, that weight is always there, following you. The sights, the sounds, even the smells, are a constant reminder of that ever-present heaviness," she related, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

"You don't have anyone to talk to about it because you don't think they'll understand. They'll just try to find some way of taking your mind off of it, but that never works for long. Before you know it, all those ghosts come back to haunt you all over again." Sarah realized belatedly how much she'd shared just then. Thoughts she'd never voiced to anyone else. A fear gripped her insides at having shown some vulnerability, exposing herself to someone who could use that knowledge to their advantage. When she chanced a glance at Chuck, her fears dissipated. His face was solemn, with his brow furrowed in concentration. Nodding his head slightly, he let out a soft hum.

"Yeah. That," he replied simply. There was no judgement, no grilling her for more information or dismissing her feelings. He seemed to genuinely understand. They both had their own ghosts that haunted them, quite different in nature, but ghosts, nonetheless. Chuck also wasn't part of her old life. He wasn't looking for an angle, a leg up. He was just… Chuck.

"Right," he spoke, clearing his throat as if to try and break the heaviness of the conversation. "As-as I was saying, the whole being miserable thing. Well, my friend Morgan got an opportunity to move to Hawaii with his girlfriend. He's had this on again, off again, dream of being a Benihana Chef." Sarah couldn't hold back her snort, quickly covering her mouth in mortification.

"I'm sorry. That was rude. I-"

"No. I totally get it," he jumped in, coming to her aid. "It's a bit odd, to say the least. It is Morgan though, so it's rather fitting. As crazy as it sounds, I think it might actually work out for him. He's finally got someone, other than me, to have his back and support him. So, with him leaving, the only other thing, besides work, keeping me in LA was my sister. She and Devon were doing great, their relationship was so solid. Plus, they had super busy schedules, so I hardly saw them even when I wasn't hiding myself away under a mountain of work. They had each other and they would be OK without me.

"I realized that there was no longer anything holding me there. So, I sold off my little start up and almost everything I owned and moved here with little more than a duffle bag of stuff," he finished with a shrug.

'Wow. Wait. You had a start up? What kind of start up?" Sarah asked, surprised.

"Oh. Pfft. It-it was nothing, really. Just a … a small technology consulting company I started," he stated dismissively, waving it off as if it were inconsequential. Sarah wasn't certain she believed him. One thing she had learned about Chuck from her own experiences, and the talks she'd have with her neighbors, was that he was a humble man. With his self-deprecating humor and self-effacing manner, he was the type to stand in the wings while others received adulation. For now, she'd let it go and accept his answer.

"Hmm. So, you sold everything and showed up at Serenity with no plans?" Sarah asked, not as an accusation but out of curiosity.

"Umm… well, yeah. Kinda," he admitted, wincing at how ridiculous that sounded. "I mean… Guilia said to come back any time. I guess I took that literally." Sarah chuckled lightly, Chuck following suit.

"So, you just showed up and they put you to work as the hamlet's official handyman?" Sarah asked, still chuckling.

"Something like that," he replied, nodding, but there seemed to be something left unsaid. Shaking himself from his thoughts, continued. "Well, that's about all there is to tell about me. I'm pretty boring otherwise. Especially to someone like you."

'What do you mean by that?" she asked, frowning in mild offense.

"I just mean that you seem to have lived an eventful life, or at least it sounds that way. The mundane day-to-day life in Serenity must be mind-numbing for you. The most excitement we have is when one of the pigs gets out or something," he joked, chuckling at himself.

"You make it sound like a bad thing. I actually chose to come here for that exact reason. Not that I think it's boring here," she rushed out, waving her hands. "After my 'eventful life', as you called it, I wanted somewhere quiet and peaceful. I wanted a place where I could … breathe."

Sarah just sat there in silence for a moment, watching the trees and road signs flash by the truck as they drove. Chuck stole glances at Sarah but just waited. Finally, Sarah let out an amused hum. "You know, in all my years living in DC, I never once met any of my neighbors? I mean, I saw them coming and going on occasion, but I never talked to them, never introduced myself or made small talk. Then I come here…" she trailed off, the corners of her mouth starting to turn up into a smile.

"I've met so many people. I've stopped and chatted while out on a walk or held a conversation with someone across a garden wall, talking about everything and nothing. I've been invited into people's homes and… on picnics," she added shyly, sharing a glance and a smile with Chuck. "I think I've actually lived more in the last week than my entire life before I got here. I know that sounds strange."

"There's a big difference between living and existing," Chuck cut in, giving her a warm smile before turning back to face the road.

"Yeah. That's it exactly. I was just… existing before. Like my life was some… paint-by-numbers project. My life was planned out for me, I had a set path that people told me to follow, and I never went outside the lines. But now… now my life is this blank canvas, and I can paint anything I want. The problem is, I was so reliant on those lines and numbers before that I … I don't know where to start."

'Wow. That is some seriously deep stuff. I'm… wow," Chuck exclaimed, blowing out a breath. "I'm really terrible with the metaphors thing, so I'll probably butcher this, but… maybe you could take some painting lessons. You know, someone to show you how to trust yourself and allow you to just 'paint' what you feel?"

Sarah just stared at him with her mouth slightly agape. "And you say you're not good with metaphors… that was really good actually. I'm… I don't know what to say to that," she admitted, blinking as she was processing it all. Before she could fully analyze it, the words just came tumbling out.

"Maybe you could teach me?" Sarah's first reaction was to back pedal, take it all back as some sort of slip or mistake. Instead, she froze, watching his shocked expression.

"Uh… I… I don't know that I'm… I'm not much of a 'painter' either," he confessed, clearly taken aback by her request.

"Well… I trust you," she said, her voice a little quieter. Chuck's head snapped to face her, his eyes widening.

"You... you do?" Sarah smiled meekly and nodded her head in the affirmative.

"Well… no pressure then," he said, letting out a breathy one-note chuckle. They had just reached their destination, pulling into a parking spot along the main street through town.

"How about we test out this trust thing a little first? Something small? Are you hungry?" he asked, looking at her hesitantly.

"I could eat," she replied, with a wry smile and a bounce of her shoulder.

"Ok. Good. I know just the place. W-wait right there," Chuck pleaded, holding up his hands, motioning for her to stay. Hopping out of the truck, Chuck closed his door and ran around to the passenger side and opened the door for Sarah.

"Wow. Ever the gentleman," she said, giving him a small bow as she slipped out of the truck. He blushed slightly at the comment, ducking his head briefly. Once he'd closed her door, he gestured down the sidewalk, looking off into the distance.

"It's just down the block," he said, pointing down the street. Looking him over, Sarah twisted her lips to the side before lacing her arm around his. Startled slightly, Chuck looked down at her and then to his arm in hers.

"Lead the way," she instructed, not looking at Chuck, knowing she wouldn't be able to keep the smile off her face if she did. Still staring at her, Chuck shook himself, not for the first time today, and turned his focus to the sidewalk before them.

"Alrighty. Walk this way," he declared, standing up straight. When he took a comical lumbering step forward, followed by a couple of short shuffling steps, Sarah stumbled along beside him, utterly confused. He began the same pattern again, pulling her along, eventually eliciting a giggle from Sarah as she tried to hold onto his arm.

"What in the hell are you doing?" she asked through her giggling, looking at him like he'd lost his mind.

"Oh. You see, I'm the American ambassador to the Ministry of Silly Walks. I'm afraid that, whenever I'm in public, in any official capacity, I must walk as prescribed by the Ministry. Since you're accompanying me, the rules stipulate that you, too, must walk in accordance with the Ministry guidelines, thusly," he stated in a posh accent, once again demonstrating the ridiculous walk. Sarah doubled over in laughter, holding on more tightly to Chuck's arm, both to keep upright and because it felt so damn good. He somehow grounded her, allowing her to get out of her head and just enjoy the moment. She was even more sure now, despite his goofiness, that if anyone could help her on her road to normalcy, it was Chuck.

It was completely out of character for her, but she found herself trying to mimic his silly walk, causing both of them to laugh as they made spectacles of themselves. As an older woman walked past them, a look of confusion and utter bewilderment on her face, it only served to make the two laugh even harder as they made their way to lunch.

A/N2: And with that, I'll grab a little lunch myself.

Thanks for all those that have read, reviewed, and petitioned for more chapters of this story through PMs and social media. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. Let me know either way with a review or PM.

Be well and stay safe my friends.

JW