A/N: BY the way, I always felt like Usopp is meant to be a bit of a parody on Cyrano de Bergerac (only instead of being good at fighting or having a temper, he just has the braggart and pride and creative parts). Anyway, his outfit for Thriller Bark gave off those vibes quite a bit. I think he should have kept that hat haha.

Chapter 5

The night passed in a blur of overconfident salt throwing, blood, screaming, and several close shaves with death. At least, for Usopp it did.

Oars? The crew kicked its ass.

Gecko Moria? Luffy exclusively kicked his ass.

Kuma… well, Usopp was still a little fuzzy on the details of that one. As far as he could tell, Zoro had faced the warlord himself and… wo~n? Kinda? If you could call it winning, the state they found him in. Zoro was still unconscious now, the next evening, even as the rest of them partied the night away.

It was weird, but no weirder than any of their other victories of the previous night.

He spoke with Brook about Laboon for a bit, then settled at a table with some of Sanji's cooking. Everyone was rather pleased to get a good meal after such an ordeal.

"Gather round to hear the tale of how the mighty Usopp defeated the ghost-girl general, Perona!" he called, now several drinks in and at top-volume bragging capacity. He looked around, noting that he had the attention of several Rolling pirates and Chopper. He continued, however, to look past the little crowd gathered around him.

Nami was by Brook's piano, leaning on it as she sang along with Franky and Luffy, the mug in her fist swinging in time to the music. She was definitely drunk.

He kinda wanted her to hear his story too- he supposed it could wait for later. They had time. He'd be telling this story at every meal for the next few days, at least.

He found himself doing that a several times throughout the evening, seeking her out with his eyes, hoping she would come over and talk with him. Why? He could just walk over and talk to her like usual, make some dumb joke at the expense of their captain trying to pour rum down an unconscious Zoro's thoat, for example. Which was currently happening, as Chopper shooed him away with his protests.

He felt… strange. Not just drunk- though he definitely was that- but more… lonely? No, that was stupid. His friends, allies, and nakama were all around him. Disregarded? It wasn't like she was avoiding him… in fact, it was more like he was avoiding her, rooted to his seat to the side of the room.

Was that what he was doing? Avoiding her? Why?

"Usopp!"

An arm across his shoulders made him jump, nearly falling off the bench he was sitting on. He stared, half not trusting what he saw. It was Nami, like she had heard his stupid idiot thoughts spilling out of his stupid idiot skull.

"You only told your tale, like, maybe three times tonight. Are you sick?" she asked, grinning ear-to-ear. There was a slight slur to her voice. She had had a stressful day- they all had. Usopp wasn't about to criticize her heavy drinking, though he did worry she'd be feeling a lot worse than the other Straw Hats come morning. He didn't think he had ever seen her wasted enough that it affected her speech, before.

"You're going to take your headache out on everyone else in the morning," he commented, laughing.

"Ah, good, so you're not just going to sit by yourself and mope all night. You got jokes." She said the last with sloppy air quotes and a light lisp, rolling her eyes.

"I wasn't- I'm not moping!" he countered immediately, before realizing quite suddenly that he was, actually, sitting kind of far off from the others. He had lost his crowd as he withdrew from conversation, and he wasn't quite sure when that had happened. Oh god, was he turning into some kind of introspective, lonely kind of drunk?

She took a seat next to him, slamming down her mug on the table in a very unladylike way, sloshing some kind of very strong drink over the sides. Usopp laughed, again. "Who are you, Zoro?"

"I am Nami, girl who is annoyed."

"Is that a general introduction, 'cause it kinda fits."

"See?" she said, motioning with one finger in his face, "Jokes. I don't want them right now. You? You are what's annoying me."

Usopp gulped, not really liking where this was going. Was Nami trying to pick a fight, or what?

"I'm annoyed that I want to be mad at you, but I can't be mad at you, you know? But if you kissed me, then I could… be mad at you."

"Shhh, what are you trying to do to me right now!?" Usopp hissed, doing a quick sweep of the room to make sure no one overheard her. She was talking about the kiss earlier, and he was under the impression that they would never bring it up again. Because surely, surely she was posing a hypothetical, and not… asking him to kiss her now. Right? Surely.

"That," Nami began, her head dropping to her folded arms on the table, "was my first kiss. Well, with a guy." At a rather inquisitive tilt of Usopp's head, Nami clarified, "I mean, with anyone not my sister or mother. No, I didn't like, make out with Vivi or anything. Although I think we can all agree she is hot."

Usopp was feeling a bit lost in her ramble, but he got the general idea. He was, frankly, a bit surprised by the confession, considering… "You're the one everyone can agree is hot…" he muttered, then immediately wished he could take it back. Her head was still pillowed by her arms on the table, but her big honey-brown eyes were looking up at him. He gulped, hoping she would forget this conversation in the morning.

"And what about you?"

"Real polite to ask, but I think you could probably guess the answer, considering there was a total of…" he stopped to mock count on his fingers, then abruptly held one up, "ONE girl I ever really knew before meeting, well, you."

"I don't understand the sarcasm. I'm too drunk for sarcasm."

"Did you come over here to harass me, or do you want to hear the tale of how I defeated the super powerful, some may say "unstoppable," ghost-girl general Perona?"

"Noooo…" Nami whispered, covering her head with an arm and shaking with laughter.

"Oh, come on! It's a good story! It has everything- danger, a brave hero, clever twists…"

"Tell me when the world stops spinning," Nami clarified, and he could see the edges of a smirk even as her forehead rested face-first on the table.

Usopp took a long drink from his cup, hiding his face effectively with the mug. His nose ended up dipping in it- not an altogether uncommon occurrence- and he coughed in an unflatteringly abrupt and loud manner. When he could see again, he noticed Nami had turned her head towards him again, her cheek still resting on the wood of the table.

"You're a dummy," she managed, affecting a very out-of-character childish pout, her cheeks puffed up and her brows drawn. Usopp could list a number of times Nami put on an ignorant front to get her way (usually with Sanji), but something about this particularly helpless expression, mixed with her unexpected insult, was hilarious. He couldn't help but double over laughing, facing the opposite direction on the bench as he did so.

He felt something touch his back- her palm, flat, almost like she was contemplating pushing him but instead just let it sit. It was a warm, insistent pressure, and somehow he felt that heat straight through the thick fabric of his overalls.

He turned back around. Her eyes were closed, though the continued contact of her hand at his back was a clear indication that she was not asleep.

"You could kiss me now, you know, if you want."

He froze, his heart skipping what must surely have been several beats as he processed what the hell he had just heard. He hadn't heard her incorrectly, right? She had actually said those words, in that order, all together?"

"You're drunk," he managed by way of reply, drinking again to try and cover up the color coming to his face. If he thought she were serious… no way. It was a bit too much to hope for, considering who they both were. Nami didn't show that kind of interest in anybody, but if she did he was certain it wouldn't be in him.

"I have made that expressly clear, thank you," Nami mumbled, her arm dropping back to her side, her eyes still closed. "So… man up and ask me about it again in the morning."

"Uh, huh. Sure. I'll ask hung-over Nami about her drunk rambling involving… that, and she'll kick my ass."

There was no reply. Nami's breathing seemed more even, her mouth open slightly. She had actually fallen asleep.

Not that she was the only one. Brook was still playing music, but the general din of the room had died down considerably. Quite a few pirates were passed out about the room- obviously, no one had made any real sleeping arrangements. Partying until you passed out wherever did seem like a very "pirate" thing to do, he supposed.

Something draped like a blanket over Nami's softly rising and falling shoulders- a suit jacket. Sanji.

Usopp froze. How long had he been there!? "How long have you been there!?"

Okay, he wasn't particularly tactful after drinking.

"Not long- why do you ask?" There was something strange in Sanji's eyes as he walked around the table and took a seat opposite Usopp...possibly anger? But not exactly. Usopp had seen Sanji angry plenty of times- this wasn't that.

He was pretty sure the guy was just pretending not to have overheard anything, anyway. How much did he hear!? Essentially: Usopp wondered how dead he was.

"Nakama or not, if you had taken advantage of the moment there I would have knocked you out," Sanji said, quite clearly, making it obvious he had not missed much about the tail-end of their conversation.

Usopp's eyes grew wide as he gripped his drink with both hands, sweating bullets while he tried to look everywhere but at his friend. Sanji was his friend, right? He wouldn't actually kill him, right? Probably?

He didn't know about the kiss earlier, right?

Usopp tried to hide his increasing concern for his own safety, but he was sure it was plain on his face.

"Relax Usopp- I said 'if.' You did the right thing."

"Er… right. Which was…?"

"Not taking advantage of the situation, of course."

"R-right… " He tapped his fingers on his cup in tune to Brook's music, feeling a strange burst of courage despite the nerves turning his drink in his stomach. "But just say… I mean… what if she kissed me. I mean, when in her right mind. Like, on purpose."

"I'd kill you," he answered, much too quickly and sharply.

"Wha-what!?"

Sanji shook his head quickly, as if trying to forcefully dispel something from it. "No, I didn't mean that. Gut reaction. I'm not a child, and she's never even hinted at… I mean to say, it's not like I'm anything more than one of her nakama. She's her own person, and can do whatever she wants, and it would be pathetic of me to overreact to it." His words sounded fairly reasonable, though the grip on his own mug was white-knuckled. It sounded an awful lot like he was trying to talk himself into it. He stared at Usopp in a very disconcerting way. "Why do you ask?"

The tone behind the question was not particularly reassuring, and possibly a bit threatening, but Usopp decided to ignore his better instinct and say, "Because I want her to."

Sanji blinked, looked more than a bit shell-shocked, and then… laughed. Laughed much too heartily for Usopp's liking or his pride. "Is that it, then? Well, join the club!"

"I didn't think you would understand. You wear your heart on your sleeve like a fool all day every day. This is… kind of a new feeling for me."

"Really?" Sanji smirked, pulling something from his mug and placing it on a small delicate plate he procured from seemingly nowhere. It was a tea strainer- was this guy drinking tea all night? Usopp wished he had known he was dealing with a totally sober Sanji before making himself look ridiculous. "You've never liked a pretty girl before… or, er, maybe not a girl?"

"No, that's not what I mean…" But what did he mean, then?

He had liked Kaya. That was pretty obvious. She was beautiful, and kind, and thoughtful, and gentle… he was always at ease around her.

But his thoughts had never really gone past that. Nami, though… what was going on in his head when it came to Nami? There was nothing to put one at ease around Nami. But she just… got him on a level no one really had before. She wasn't afraid to yell at him and give him crap when he annoyed her or did something stupid, and visaversa. They could both be so brutally honest around each other.

"It's not the "pretty" that is confusing me," he finally settled on, sure that if it were not for the fuzziness of his brain in his current state he would never have had this kind of conversation with Sanji, of all people.

He wanted to say more, but his voice kind of trailed off, not sure how to articulate his jumbled thoughts.

"Oh. I see."

Sanji's reply was hardly helpful. "I don't. What the fuck do I do?" he asked, halfway hoping for a real answer and halfway hoping Sanji would just take it as rhetorical.

"Suffer," Sanji replied a little too smoothly, lighting up a cigarette while it dangled from his mouth.

"That's horrible advice."

"It wasn't meant to be helpful. It was meant to be petty," Sanji eloquently clarified, pausing to blow a steady cloud of smoke above their heads. He tilted his head with an air of quiet contemplation, as if he were choosing his next words very carefully. "You got to play hero quite a bit the other day, for her-"

"Not by design, or anything!"

"I didn't say that. Maybe that's just it- I would always do so by design. If someone was going to volunteer to protect Nami, it would always be me. But frankly… that's what she should expect from her nakama. That's not something that particularly impresses her. So, you were her hero on this island… but so what?"

So what indeed.

Sanji wasn't finished. He leaned forward on the table, and the proximity made Usopp a bit uncomfortable. He fought the urge to lean back and away from the cook. "That woman thinks about her words very carefully. Intoxicated or not, she wouldn't say something without thinking through the consequences. So, did she mean it? Or was she lying to mess with you?"

Why was he asking him!? Like Usopp had any clue what was going on in Nami's brain… well, scratch that. He actually could read her better than most, and if he had anything he thought she may want (gold, for example), he could see the latter option making some sense…. As it was…

"I think she's not always as careful and cunning as she likes to appear," he finally said, chancing a glance down at the sleeping woman to make sure that she was, in fact, still asleep. "I don't think I should read much more into it than that."

Sanji breathed out in a way that sounded a little like laughter, then stood up abruptly, gathering the empty mugs from the table. "I'll stop grilling you, but do me a favor. If you-" Sanji seemed to have a hard time with what he was trying to say, momentarily grinding his teeth before regaining control of his calm-and-collected facade, "- find out that maybe, but some crazy, bizarre, horribly twisted turn of fate that she did, in fact, mean what she said… try to figure out exactly what the hell it is that made her say it. Because it's not about being the hero- not with her."

…

What. A. Fucking. Coward.

A week. It had been a week since they left Thriller Bark, and they were well on their way to the next island. Nami, as usual, was level headed and commanding onboard, guiding their way like the professional she was. Just yesterday she had circumvented a very sudden typhoon, working closely with Franky at the helm to get them the hell out of danger.

She was so collected, and acting so normal… she hadn't mentioned any of it to him, all week. Not a word of what she said at the party.

She had told him to "man up and ask her about it," hadn't she? Well, either she had completely forgotten the whole encounter, or she was being true to her word: he had to be the one to say something.

Hence: He was a fucking coward.

How could he even look her in the face and ask her something like that?

He was fishing- one of the rare times when he was doing so on his own, Luffy off begging Sanji for an "it's been one hour since lunch" snack. Zoro was sleeping, leaning against the railing a few yards down, and Robin was sitting in one of the loungers, reading some book almost as thick as it was wide. It was sunny. It was peaceful.

And all Usopp could think about was his own self-made problems.

It was too late to bring it up now- he had waited too long. But the longer he waited, the more impossible it would be to bring up, right?

He should just do it.

His hands shook just at the thought. He should go into the viewing room library, where he knew she was working on her maps, and ask her about what she said and why she said it.

He reeled in his fishing pole, setting it aside before he ended up dropping it in the ocean in his internal panic. He had to take a chance. She hadn't really talked to him much since… sure, she had been acting normal, but she hadn't really commiserated with him lately, or asked about weapon upgrades, or even sat next to him at meals. He missed it, and he had a feeling she would keep avoiding him in her own discrete way until they talked about it.

With all the energy of a man marching to the executioner, he stood up and made his way to the stern of the ship.

...

She placed the page carefully back into the sleeve, organizing it on the small paper-sorter on the desk. She was checking over some of her maps, having finished the latest one about an hour ago, and once it was fully dried she put it away carefully with the others.

Really, there was no need to double-check her work. It was always perfect. She just kind of didn't feel like taking advantage of the loungers on such a lovely day, like Robin was. It was just… awkward.

He hadn't said a word, and it made her feel like she was a pushy, annoying person who read too much into things. Yeah, she had been drunk… but…

She heard the door open and close as she pulled out her next map, and knew immediately who it was by the very fact that he was quiet and still by the door. Who, exactly, might be nervous about approaching her? Hmm. A mystery.

"Hello, Usopp."

She swore, she could feel him jump, even from across the room.

"Nami," he managed with a gulp that had her looking up. He was more than just a little nervous around her. He looked like he was ready for a fight- er, that is, the way Usopp looked when ready for a fight- shaking arms with shaking fists at his side, shaking legs shoulder-width apart, eyes wide and perhaps just a bit watery.

"Did… did something happen? Are we being boarded or…?

"Huh?" he blinked, and seemed to momentarily forget his own distress. "No. Nothings wrong. Well, I mean, nothing's wrong in a "Straw Hat" sense…" he seemed to be fighting with his legs, forcing himself to walk forward until he was standing in front of her desk. She gave him her full attention, tilting her head to the side.

Was he going to bring it up now? A week later?

Part of her wanted to say "too little too late," but a much bigger, less annoyed part of her wanted to say something that could help fix this awkward fissure between them. Frankly, she hated this, and wished she could just take it all back and put things to how they used to be. She missed just being his friend, at the very least.

"I don't know," he began- not a very strong start- and Nami sighed, flattening a rolling corner of her map and frowning at it. She'd have to press it out. "Nami, please…"

She looked up, then, giving him her attention again despite the prickle of annoyance his hesitation was causing her.

He took a deep breath, and said everything he had been trying to say all at once. "I don't like that you're keeping away from me and I know it's because I've made things weird by ignoring the situation instead of just talking about it and I know I should have brought it up before but I just… couldn't, and now you seem mad at me and it sucks."

She stood up, coming around the desk. Had it really been that noticeable? She thought she had been acting pretty normal around him… just… not as close, maybe?

"The night of the party... that is... if you're making fun of me, please just let me know now."

Nami folded her arms in front of her, feeling a little insulted. "Do I seem cruel, to you?"

Usopp sighed, looking like he didn't quite know what to do with his own arms. He settled for sticking his hands in his pockets, looking a bit ashamed. "I didn't really think you were joking, but… it's hard for me to figure out what else is going on."

"What's going on? I asked you to kiss me. If you don't want to, then just say that. I wasn't trying to cause this much stress. Like I said, I haven't really done any of this before, but my goal wasn't to make it complicated. I didn't want to… look, I'm sorry I've been avoiding you. I guess we're both being kind of childish right now."

She leaned against the edge of the desk, her arms still crossed.

Usopp was staring very resolutely at his feet. "So," he said carefully, "you want me," he pointed to his own chest, still not looking up at her, "to kiss you," he pointed forward.

She felt her face grow red, and wished she had stayed behind the desk- she could have hidden behind one of her maps. Her answer was very plain on her face, in any case, when he finally looked up.

His eyes still just a bit wide, he stepped forward very suddenly, closing the small gap between them. In the same motion he leaned forward, put one hand at the back of Nami's neck, and pressed his mouth to hers.

She almost forgot how to breathe, his burst of courage was so unexpected. It took a moment until her brain was able to process that, yes, Usopp was kissing her… that his lips were thick and pliable and soft and felt really good pressed against her own. That his body, lining up against her now, was warm, and somehow felt immovable, the pressure of his hand at the back of her neck gentle.

She kissed him back, her own hands moving to grab at the fabric of the sash around his waist, holding onto his sides and keeping him close. This move seemed to imbibe him with a bit more confidence, and she felt the soft glide of his tongue sweep her lower lip. She gasped, her lips parting and granting him entrance in the process, his tongue hesitatingly gliding against her own, tasting her. Her heart thudded rapidly, and she moved one arm behind herself to keep steady at the desk- his weight against her was nearly pushing her over.

A small sound escaped her as she felt him exploring her mouth, the sensation so different, so totally alien, but so unexpectedly welcome. When he heard it he broke the kiss, backing away slightly as he took in a deep breath. Like he was waiting for some kind of remonstrance from her. In the quiet of her own mind, she could admit how amazing something as simple as a kiss could make her feel… but she also needed a moment. To process.

"Shit," was her thoughtful response as she pulled herself up to sit on the desk, motioning for Usopp to sit next to her. His eyes were now very wide, his breathing a little hitched, and he obeyed instantly.

"Er… am I meant to be apologizing again? Because honestly, I don't want to."

She shook her head. From where he sat at the edge of the desk, his feet still could touch the floor-just barely. Nami's legs dangled a bit, her heels hitting the desk in a rhythm, as she fidgeted. "No. That… that was the opposite of something to apologize for. Dammit. How did you learn to do that?"

Usopp, realizing she wasn't displeased with him, grinned. "Oh? So you're saying I'm a good kisser, then? Natural talent."

She accepted that, hoping his ego wouldn't get too inflated, and decided not to comment on it out loud. "Well... now I'm even more confused."

"Huh… you thought asking me to kiss you would somehow make things less confusing? For a smart person, you can be pretty stupid."

She punched his arm, a bit harder than she intended, with a laugh. "Yeah, maybe, but you don't have to say it out loud!" He made a pained noise, rubbing at his arm, and she kept talking in an effort to cover up the whine she knew would be coming over her violence. "I don't know, Usopp. It's not something I thought about before, but… you know I like you. You're probably my best friend, when I actually get down to it. It's nice having Robin onboard now- another woman, you know? But she's pretty quiet and keeps to herself, and isn't someone I can necessarily talk to much. The others are too loud or annoying. With you it's easy."

"So you're calling me easy now," he joked, and she was tempted to punch him again. He noticed, and raised up a defensive hand. "Kidding! I get it. But… gotta tell you, Nami, I've had friends before and never kissed any of them."

She rolled her eyes, feeling a bit indignant that he kept poking holes in what she was trying to say. "Well, I didn't have many friends before meeting all of you, and I still know the difference, Usopp. I don't know what to say to reconcile the fact that I feel closer to you than everyone else- you're my closest friend- but that I also really want to kiss you again."

Usopp raised an eyebrow at that, then turned his attention back to his shoes. Nami was pretty sure that was his go-to every time he had something he really wanted to say, but was struggling for words. He couldn't seem to meet her eyes in that moment, at least. He was just completely silent.

"If you want, we can forget this whole thing ever happened," Nami amended, the silence stretching out a little too long for comfort. She couldn't seem to stop the words from spilling from her mouth, a desperate attempt at fixing the situation. "I don't want this to mess up our friendship, which it clearly has been…."

"Nami, what are you doing?"

"I'm giving you an out. You don't seem too enthused, and I don't want to seem pushy-"

"I think I'm in love with you."

Nami was struck completely dumb by this unapologetically clear and consise statement. The raw honesty behind it made it… so much worse. She couldn't even formulate a thought. She stared, and he still refused to meet her eyes.

Then all at once, he slapped his hands loudly over his face, his nose peeking through, and laid back on the desk with a painful groan that made it obvious he wished the wood structure would swallow him up and make him disappear. He stayed there for a good thirty seconds of nothing, looking utterly mortified, and Nami still felt paralyzed. What could she possibly say to diffuse this!?

"Uh…" she started, but he cut her off.

"Just kill me."

"I refuse," she shot back in quick succession, trying hard not to laugh. She had a feeling laughing might make it worse.

"How do I always manage to make myself the fool?" he asked, obviously not looking for an actual answer. "Things just pop out of my mouth without reaching my brain."

"Looked like you were thinking pretty hard there."

"Okay, they reach my brain, but my brain is a rock. That must be the explanation."

"You don't have to be quite that dramatic," she said, managing to stifle her snicker pretty effectively behind a hand- or so she thought.

Usopp peeked up at her with one eye between his fingers. "Ugh… I guess if you find me amusing enough to laugh at, then I didn't completely fuck this up?"

"Calm down. Yes, that was…. unexpected, and yes you completely freaked me out, but I'm used to your particular brand of stupid so it's fine." She shook her head, bemused. "But… you meant it, didn't you?"

"...maybe," he mumbled in a very small voice, hands still covering his face. "I don't know. That's why I said 'I think.'"

That was fair, she supposed. She wasn't the best at weighing her own emotions, so she couldn't fault him for trying to be honest about his. It was just… very weird, coming from him. And weird timing. And too fast. "How?" she found herself asking, genuinely curious. "How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Oh god, please stop making me talk about it."

"Fine. I'll grant you a reprieve. But it's temporary." A declaration like that couldn't just go unexplained, and Nami would get the full story out of him eventually- preferably when he was done being so self-pitying.