A/N: Alright peeps! Trigger warning coming up! This chapter is not going to be pleasant to read through, as it deals with severe psychological trauma and torture. So this is the only warning you will be receiving. This story is not a happy one, and there are bound to be a whole lot of touchy subjects that will not sit well with some of you readers. Going forward, this fic will likely take a lot of dark turns that may even affect your mindset (I am hoping not), or turn your stomach. If you don't think you can deal with such things, I beg you to stick to the first four chapters of this fic and leave it at that. I will include warnings in the chapters that contain dark themes that may adversely affect you but, please keep in mind: My Goal is to give you ALL of the Feels and I will do that to the utmost best of my ability. If you feel like this fic is affecting you negatively I urge you to speak with a psychologist or a therapist and I apologize in advance. With that said, thank you to those who do enjoy the story, feel free to leave a review or any comments or questions you may have for me.

Warning: Intense psychological trauma, etc. Dark stuff folks.

Sazuko's eyes widened slightly at the sound of a heavy metal door opening, her head snapping up with a fretful whimper as she dreaded what was soon to come. Instead she found her body tensing in surprise as her gaze rested on the sigh of her beautiful companion in all of his glory. It looked like they were finally going to be released from this hellish hole the pair had found themselves trapped in. Sazuko couldn't help the half sobbing gasp of elation that tore itself from her throat. Weakly she pushed herself- why did her legs feel so strange?- to her knees from her slumped position in the furthest corner of her interrogation cell, her arms opening wide- disregard the pain in your arm, you probably just slept on it wrong- "YeMoN!" She gasped again, taking in the sight of her partner- her life blood, companion, the mate of her very soul- Standing proudly in the doorway before him. His ears perked up, his tail wagging so hard it was nearly a blur matching the tongue lolling from his jowls, his expression one of pure joy.

There didn't seem to be a mark on him,- not a single hair out of place even- as he approached her slowly, before coming to a stop before her. Sazuko would forever remember that moment of utter perfection as she was reunited with her ninken after months of seperation. She had felt the interrogation through their bond, but had been so distracted by her own pain and torture she hadn't been able to sense-

But oh, it didn't really matter in that moment. He was here, and his head was lowering into the arms she so lovingly wrapped around his head, burling her fingers into the thick fur and reaching her other hand down to stroke through the fur on his nec-something was wrong, why were her fingers wet whyweretheysoso-

And like that, the Genjutsu shattered, the sound of scrambling footsteps and a slamming door fully knocking her out of the trance. Her fingers raised in the air where Yemon had once seemingly solidly stood. Now there was only blank space, but the feeling of something heavy in her arms had her widening eyes looking down. Golden irises blown wide in incomprehension. Searing, ripping- like glass exploding across her senses, digging jaggest shards deep into her bleeding heart-

The pain was nothing compared to the sudden void where something precious had once been.

What had they done? What had they done?! her mind screams out in impotent rage, fragmented and scattered as it was after their brash and ruthless ministrations. Her quivering arms wrapped tightly around the familiar yet strange lump she clutched so tightly to her chest. Broken, gasping sobs left her in futile abandon, trying to pull oxygen into her burning lungs. Mute screams tearing from her throat as she tried to give voice to the dawning horror building inside of her. Where was her bond? Where was her bonded?

It's so sticky...

Comes the thought, like a hiccup in her mind, so polluted with white noise, the sound echoing- grinding into her ears like a symphony of static, drowning out a high keening noise. Distantly she wonders where that screeching sound is coming from because she wants to crushcrushcrush it until it stops.

Her fingers are curled into grey-blue fur, hanging limply around the wound. Fur that sticks to the neck, where the rest of a body should -

what had they done

WHatHaDtHeYDoNe?!-

Her thoughts flutter helplessly, like a butterfly refusing to land, leaving her scattered and unaware. Her chest hurts something painful, but it's nothing compared to the pain in her head. Sazuko can't tell if the pain comes from hours or days or weeks of having her mind probed and ripped asunder, or from having Genjutsu force fed into her thoughts and eyes. Or maybe it comes from an empty, hallow void that is cold -

Socoldsoemptysowrong

WrOnGWRONGoHgOdItWaSn'TrEaL-

and gaping where something else should be. It's almost like missing a limb, a ghost pain- like something that had been there her entire life was suddenly gone and she couldn't put her finger on what it was.

"z...ko!" She dimly wondered why the sound was so familiar to her, as trapped as she was in this long-gone hellscape. "ake...u...!" The screaming alarm in the voice ment something to her, but she couldn't remember what.

Distantly she thinks she may be calling for a name, a whimpering mixture of sounds that leaves trembling lips coated in tears and snot. Each gasp a wet, sloppy sound as she curls tighter and tighter around the precious cargo in her arms. Her hand is searching, fingering the wet, slimey stump where a body should be attached. But she cannot grasp the concept of what her digits are telling her. She cannot comprehend the lack of empty space her fingers meet each time they try to move down to provide soothing comfort. Her eyes do not register the lump in her arms. They do not see the rolled back, golden eyes or tongue hanging to far-

itshouldn'tbethatextendedwhyisitsolong-

Out of an open muzzle. They do not see the stiffening of extremities or the dripping of blood pooling around the floor. They do not see the head without the body. Sazuko's eyes do not see clearly, the scene before her. Whether this is a side effect from the rapid fire genjutsu that had assaulted her mind, or the tears that just keep falling she doesn't know. It feels like eternity to Sazuko before she has cried herself out. The noise little more than broken half whimpers and dry gasps, as some part of her finally realizes, he isn't coming back to her.

On the other side of the two way interrogation glass, the T&I specialist flinches as the subject turns her gaze from the floor to stare. While he is confident she cannot see into the room beyond, he thinks that they have made a very grave and terrible mistake. She sits, dejectedly on the floor, both arms grasping the massive severed head of her Ninken, and he swears he can feel the ground tremble and shake as she releases a roar of pure, uninhibited fury. It is a sound so raw, so primal, and so heart-wrenchingly broken that the door to the room is quickly thrown open and a swarm of T&I specialists are struggling to restrain her.

Yes, he thinks warily, as the subject is being sedated and moved to a specialized holding cell deep within the building. They have royally screwed themselves, and created what was to later become, one of Konohas deadliest enemies.

Sazuko was distantly aware of the distorted sound of someone speaking to her, somewhere high above her. She couldn't feel the hands that gripped her arms tight enough to break bones. She couldn't feel the movement of being shaken back and forth, trying to rouse her into some form of clarity. She didn't even register the feral snarl that was grinding brokenly from her throat with such volume and ferocity it reminded Kurogaine of a pack of wolves. Sazuko was dimly aware that she was only half breathing. Sucking in a breath with a low hiss between clenched teeth, and holding it there for several minutes on end before exhaling it through a flaring nose. But the cloying smell of blood was clogging her senses, driving her instincts further into frenzy as she tried to rip and tear and claw and makethemBLEED-

And suddenly, she was aware again. The hot sting across her cheek settling with startling clarity, and allowing her to fight for the last remnants of her control to struggle from the depths of her dream. Well, dream was putting it politely. The memory was still fresh in her mind, preserved with sharpened clarity seasoned with terror and revulsion. Sazuko wouldn't be forgetting her overly long stint in Konoha's interrogation cells any time soon. Probably not for several lifetimes if she was being honest. Turning her head, Sazuko looked into the concerned face of Kurogaine. Her eyes were still far too wide and feral, but he relaxed slightly as the light of recognition started to return to those too animal eyes. Kurogaine allowed himself to fall back on his ass and release a shaky breath as the worst of the episode was clearly over. Sazuko's breathing still hadn't fully returned to normal, but she was no longer making that roaring growl, instead taking quick sharp gasps of air as her shaking body reigned in what control it could.

It wasn't perfect control, but he would take what he could get. Running a shaky hand through his hair, Kurogaine eyeballed the Inuzuka currently crouched in the darkened rooms corner. Her back was to the wall, and she was crammed so tightly in between the dresser and the cot, he'd had to bodily throw the latter just to get to the woman. Her claws had raked deep gouges down her arms that were still weeping- but Kurogaine valued his life far too much to even attempt to approach the half crazed woman with a needle and threat right now. She wouldn't bleed out and die from the wounds any time soon, but it was better to let her collect herself and fix the damage later. At least she mostly hurt herself rather than other people, a small consolation all things considered.

"Bad dream?" Kurogaine's sleepy rumbling timber had Sazuko closing her eyes as she released a shaky half laugh, her shoulders finally dropping their tense posture as she laid her head against the wall. "I can only wish." The half choked sob caught in her throat as she forcefully exhaled through her closed lips. She looked so defeated in that moment. Sazuko sat, slightly curled in on herself, her arms resting limply on the ground beside her. Tear tracks streaming down her face, her eyes red and puffy from exhaustion. One leg was stretched out on the ground, the other, bent at the knee as she finally slumped out of her defensive crouch. The pair sat in silence for several long moments before Kurogaine pushed himself up with a groan, moving to light the rooms singular oil lamp and dig out the med kit for the second time that day. "Any idea what triggered it?"

"Who knows...?" Sazuko sounded rather unsure about it. Kurogaine suspected she did know, but wasn't willing to concede the information, given she didn't feel all that safe in their current environment. He paused for a moment, to consider that information, before returning to his task of digging out a needle and threat. He couldn't really blame her for keeping the information to herself, the walls tended to have ears after all. Having someone who wasn't a trusted ally know your deepest darkest secrets? That's just asking for someone to use it against you, and Kurogaine knew first hand what horrors that could induce. Tucking a roll of bandages into his hands, he moved to crouch beside his companion, gently tugging on one of her arms to ask permission. With a flippant wave, Sazuko relinquished herself to his care- too tired to protest, and too mentally exhausted to put up much of a fight either way.

"Do...do you think it'll...ever end, Kuro?" He almost missed the timid whisper, the question had been asked so quietly. Pausing in the action of wiping her arm down with an antibacterial solution, he seemed to ponder the question for a moment before asking for clarification. "Will what end? The war? The world? Probably. But I'm afraid you'll have to be a little more specific than that Saz." A small snort of amusement was his answer as he began threading the needle.

"These feelings. The madness. How long must I suffer for the sins they committed?" Each word was dripping with bitter hate, tasting like ash in her mouth as she subconsciously clenched her fists, before Kurogaine was lightly tapping her knuckles and she instantly relaxed them, giving him an apologetic glance. "Time can only tell. You suffered at the hands of a village you swore your allegiance to. They broke your mind, and took something from you that you will probably never get back. But." Kurogaine gripped her arm firmly as he began to stitch up the claw marks she had inflicted on herself. "Time, and a lot of patience will allow you to recover. Given how I first found you, you've already come a long way. All we can do is wait and see- whether you bend, or you break anew- it all comes back down to time." Finishing with the first arm, Kurogaine wrapped the roll of bandages tightly over the new stitches, the bandages beginning at her wrist and ending just above her elbow before turning to the second arm and repeating the process.

Sazuko released another shuddering breath as she contemplated his words. She knew it would take time to pick up all the shattered pieces of herself. Kurogaine helped with the process, just by being someone she could trust and knew she could lean on: a prime example being their current situation. Kurogaine had admitted to her, that the more bonds she managed to form with others would probably help speed the process along further, but Sazuko wasn't willing to open herself up like that to anyone else again. Well, not for a very long time at least. Sazuko didn't have the strength of will left to survive another betrayal like that. It would probably shatter what was left of her already fragile mind, let alone utterly devastate her in ways Sazuko wasn't sure she could recover from. It wasn't a risk she was willing to take.

"All done. I don't know about you but-" Kurogaine was interrupted by a jaw cracking yawn, "I'm going to try and sleep some more." Chuckling, Sazuko watched as the man scratched the back of his head and his bare chest at the same time, walking back over to his own cot and dropping soundlessly down into it in one fluid motion. "After that nightmare? No thank you." She replied dryly, pushing herself up off the floor to stretch out her aching muscles. Staying in a tensed up position for kami knew how long wasn't pleasant, and Sazuko grimaced at the sharp pull elicited from the muscles in her shoulders. "I think." She began, "I'm going to see if I can find somewhere to go train." At the irritated groan Kurogaine let out, Sazuko huffed another quiet chuckle, reaching over to put out the oil lamp before slipping from the room, ignoring Kurogaines muffled curses about rest being the best medicine and how she needed to stop pushing herself so much. Perish the thought.

After a few uneventful hours of wandering around the hidden base, Sazuko had finally been directed to the Akatsuki's formal training ground- well, after much suspicious questioning and many distrustful looks at least. Honestly, it was a wonder they didn't have a T&I room of their own, given how suspicious the lot were. The thought had Sazuko pausing for a moment to repress a shudder.

Best not to follow that line of thought.

Instead, Sazuko focused on the delicious, but painful burn of her muscles as she settled back into her battle stance, once more pushing through the sequence of katas she knew by heart. Crane dipping into water, striking shadows that dart, flowing rivers that divide- The mantra continued as she lost herself in the feeling of striking, retreating, and advancing in her movements. It wasn't her clan katas, as most of those were practically useless without her Ninken to fill in the missing sequences. The snake uncoils, rising to strike the throa- Sazuko froze in her movements, the tips of her claws coming to rest against the throat of the man suddenly standing before her. Her palm was flat, fingers pressed together, one arm extended, the other tucked into her side. One leg partially raised to take that next step forward into her next kata. She hadn't even noticed him come in, she had been so absorbed in her practice her spatial awareness had dimmed to nothing. Gazing into his purple ringed eyes, Sazuko felt her hackles raise- there was danger here- before she forcefully beat her instincts back and abruptly dropped her posture, taking a step backwards and away. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." Came her muttered apology as she glanced away, looking anywhere but at him.

Sazuko wasn't sure why the boy made her so uncomfortable, and made her instincts scream for her to run as far away from him as she possibly could, but she pushed the feeling aside for later inspection, her hand coming up to ruffle through the back of her hair in irritation. She had forgotten to tie it back before she left the room, so it fell loosely over her shoulders. "It's alright. I didn't mean to interrupt." His voice was very quiet, almost shy, and it threw Sazuko for a loop so much that it had her head snapping back around to peer at him curiously. She still didn't meet those unnerving purple eyes, instead choosing to focus on his chin. The fact that his apology was genuine only made Sazuko's hackles rise all the more. From her experience, Shinobi weren't nice people, hell, even Kurogaine's usual cheer was just another grandiose mask to throw off the people around him. Sure, most Shinobi were nice, some of them were even downright pleasant- but sincere? Dare she even say, Kind? Alarm bells were ringing in her head and her bodies demand for her to get as far away from this threat of a human standing before her, almost had her fleeing the room on the spot. Apparently she didn't mask the emotions flittering over her face well enough, because the boy suddenly looked so dejected and heartbroken it threw her completely off guard. Was he sniffling?

Oh no. Oh no no no don't you dare start crying

Sazuko was so utterly at a loss as a tear slid down the boys face at her perceived disgust at him. "H-hey! D-don't cry! I'm sorry!" To say she was panicking was an understatement. Assassinate a family? She could do that. Torture someone for information? She wouldn't even bat an eye. But crying kids? Sazuko was so far out of her element, you could set her hair on fire and she wouldn't even flinch compared to this. Her hands fluttered uselessly at her sides for a moment as the boy rubbed at his eyes, more tears breaking free from his lashes before she settled her hands on his shoulders and bent down to peer at his face. Her own contorted into a 'what-the-hell-do-i-do-here?!' expression. "I didn't mean to scare you! I'm really sorry I got lost in my head and if I had known you were standi-" "N-no..." Sazuko quickly cut off her rambling apology as her brows scrunched up in confusion, part of her wanted to drop this whole ordeal like a hot rock, suspecting it was some kind of ploy for her to lower her guard. The other part of her was panicking in confusion as she desperately tried to figure out what she had done to make the boy cry. If it was a ploy, by kami was it working. Sazuko wasn't good with kids, but she had a soft spot for them. "No?" She questioned softly, her eyes scanning him over to make sure she hadn't actually hurt him when she had been in her training trance. "Can you tell me what I did so I can make it up to you then?" She queried softly, moving one of her hands to tug at one of his so she could get a better look at his face.

He seemed to relent for a moment, allowing her to catch a glimpse of the positively broken look in his eyes when he looked at her. The look had her sucking in a gasp in a sharp breath as it tugged on her battered heartstrings. When it didn't look like he was going to answer her, she tried again, cupping his face in her hands and using her thumbs to brush away his tears. "Hey. Hey, it's okay. I apologize for whatever I did to make you cry okay?" Her voice got softer, but it still held the tone of uncertainty and confusion. "T...the way you looked at me..." Suddenly Sazuko's face went blank as she inwardly cursed, quickly running through the expressions she had tried to school off her face at his sudden appearance, before it softened considerably. "A-ah...Sorry. I'm not good with things like this...You kind of caught me off guard." She muttered, wincing slightly as the boy hiccuped on a sob. "You looked at me like I was a monster."

Oh boy. A sensitive ninja. Wasn't her day just kicking off to a perfect start? Sazuko sighed as she closed her eyes for a moment, dropping her head in guilt with a quietly muttered, "Fuck. I'm really not good with this shit." Before returning her attention back to the boy in front of her. "You don't look like much of a monster to me, kid. And thats saying something because I've seen all kinds." Yeah, if this was some kind of trap, consider her dead, because she fell for it hook line and sinker. But her words seemed to at least have stemmed the flow of his tears, going by the slight widening of his eyes as he seemed to consider her words. "Infact, you look like just another kid to me." She added, reaching her hand up to ruffle his shaggy red hair, causing him to let out an indignant squawk- "H-hey! I am a Shinobi! Don't treat me like a kid!" Sazuko felt her lips twitch upwards in a half grin from the outraged look the boy was currently giving her, tears all but forgotten. "I believe you, Shinobi-san." She teased as she flicked the tip of his nose with her fingertips, her grin turning into a smirk at the light dusting of a blush scattering over his face as he gave another outraged cry of "Hey!" causing her to chuckle again. The pout she got in return was absolutely adorable if she dared to say so herself. Another sharp pang of her heart had her wincing, but she quickly turned her head to hide it, her fingers twitching in the need to grab at her chest, reminded of many nights long past of teasing banter as she fluttered around a too small kitchen- before she relaxed, turning back to the boy with a smile.

"How 'bout I fix us somthin' to eat, hm? That work-out made me rather hungry." She offered, holding out her hand in a show of truce. He seemed to contemplate the offer for a long moment, his eyes boring into the hand held out to him before he tentatively took it with a slight nod of his head. As her fingers firmly closed over his own, she paused for a moment. "Y'know. I don't think I caught your name. I'm Sazuko, but you can call me Saz." Sazuko grinned as she spoke, turning to look at him slightly before she began leading him from the training ground. She didn't know if he would give her his name just yet- Sazuko thought it unlikely she would be accepted into the Akatsuki, but she was pleasantly surprised when the boy shyly replied, "Nagato...my name...is Nagato." Dropping his hand for a moment, it almost startled him when she spun around to grab it back with her other, "Well Nagato! It's a great pleasure to meet you! You'll have to show me where the kitchen is, but I think we're going to be great friends." Sazuko felt rather pleased with herself when a blinding smile lit up Nagato's face. Maybe making new friends wouldn't be so bad after all. She released a small startled yelp as Nagato apparently took her words to heart, and all but dragged her down the hallways to the bases kitchen in retaliation.

Unbeknownst to Sazuko, two pairs of eyes had watched the entire scene play out from the shadows of the doorway. The woman really needed to work on her spatial awareness of her surroundings with how easily she missed the Akatsuki pair. Particularly the seething blue haired woman being restrained by the orange haired boy. The brown eyed boy was much calmer about the whole situation, as he watched the woman struggle, but eventually succeed to calm his friend. Eventually the blue haired woman beside him calmed her fury, but she was still seething. Nagato was their dear friend, and neither of them liked it when someone made their friend cry. Yahiko understood however, that Nagato was a rather sensitive boy- he had gotten better at controlling his emotions after Sensei had left, but sometimes- like now- certain things got to the boy and pierced his soft heart. Yahiko couldn't protect his friends from everything in the world, but that was part of why they had formed the Akatsuki. Yahiko knew Nagato would be the one to lead the world to change- He was the Savior of the world after all- and his kind heart would only be an asset in that regard.

That didn't mean it sat well with him when his friend got hurt though. Yahiko had been about to step in when the Inuzuka woman's claws had come so close to plunging into his friends throat, but his iron will had kept him firmly in place before he made a split second decision to run out there and skewer her. He admired the sheer self restraint she displayed when she had stilled her entire body in a split second, and it had been a hair brain reflex that he had managed to grab Konan and keep her from rushing to Nagato's defense. Not that the paper wielder couldn't still attack the woman from here, "Trust in him." Was all it had taken for Konan to fall still. The struggle began all over again though when Nagato had started to cry, and Yahiko had to firmly grab Konans wrists to keep her from using her Jutsu on their potential member.

Seeing the woman panic before managing to resolve the situation had brought them both a small pang of satisfaction, and once the pair were out of the room he finally released Konan who was rubbing her wrists and sending him a scathing look. He held his hands up in surrender with a slight grin on his face. "I wanted to see what she would do." He defended. "She made Nagato cry." was the scathing response. His lips twisted into a slight frown as they stared at each other for a moment, before Konans shoulders dropped in defeat. "She also made him smile. I think, I've made my decision regarding those two." With a roll of her eyes, Konan scoffed at him, crossing her arms over her chest. She knew she was just being overprotective, she'd cool off in time. "I don't like it. But I understand." She admitted easily, turning her back to start the walk to the kitchen, she missed the large grin spreading over Yahiko's face as he fell into step beside her. "We need all the help we can get." Konan admitted as the pair made their way down the hallway. "But this doesn't mean shes forgiven." Yahiko could only chuckle at the dark glare- a promise of retribution coiled deep within orange depths- Konan shot at him as they too, went to retrieve breakfast.