The complete darkness, except for the aura of light where he was. Sven remained standing, trembling, worried to know that alone in this place which seemed to him so vast. He looked around, anxiety gripping his heart and preventing him from breathing properly.
"This is a nightmare... a simple nightmare..." he had breathed, and his voice repeated itself in a mocking echo.
His mind understood that it was a nightmare, but there was nothing he could do about it. He didn't know how to get out of it, how to wake up. He wanted to wake up.
"Wake up...wake up...!"
The heat was getting to him, a stifling heat that made his head spin. He took deep breaths of air, closed his eyes, tried to regain his self-control. But despite the closed eyes, he continued to see himself, to see himself curled up in the center of this aura.
"Wake up...!"
He was almost sobbing, begging to be let out of this place, and his heart seemed to be beating ever harder, too hard.
He suddenly looked up, for instinctively he had known that someone was standing there, facing him, watching him. Sven hiccupped, remained petrified by the fear, whereas RHM dominated him of his height, fixed him of a dull glance.
He should have been reassured of his presence, but it was not. Sven knew there was danger, that something was wrong.
He saw the gun pointed at him.
He stopped breathing.
And he woke up suddenly. The oppressive blackness gave way to the darkness of his room, RHM's gaze was replaced by his blank ceiling. Sven realized that he had really stopped breathing when his body urged him to breathe in like crazy, fearing asphyxiation.
He coughed, straightened up not to choke, passed a hand on his wet eyes which started to prickle him.
He spat out an insult:
"Fuck...!"
He closed his eyes again, trying to regain control of his breathing, his mind completely confused. He hated dreaming, he never understood anything. It was all the more unpleasant because he had this awful sensation of having slept both too long and not enough, finding himself in a state of confusion and nausea that only increased his frustration and anger.
He grimaced and left the bed without thinking, undressing by automatism before ending up under the icy water of the shower. At least that woke him up a little better, even if he hadn't recovered all his senses.
He pushed a deep sigh. In the distance, coming from the bedroom, he heard his alarm clock start ringing. This brought him back to reality a little better, and he got out of the shower to dry himself quickly to get dressed. The mission was about to take place, soon RHM would be on the field to save Reginald...
Sven shook his head, trying to shake off his worries. Everything was going to be fine, there was no reason for it to go wrong! But he had repeated to himself that all would be well, that they had taken all the precautions, the doubt persisted, remained well anchored in him, in his heart like in his spirit. The young man didn't want his comrades to be hurt, and even less that RHM was injured! So could he really be held responsible for being so worried?
He finally left the room and headed for the communications room, hoping to find some comfort in Burt before the operation began. He would have gone to see RHM, but he suspected that RHM would be in the middle of preparations, so this was no time to distract him.
However he didn't reach his destination, being intercepted by Icepick who seemed upset:
"Ah Sven you are just in time! Do me a favor!"
The blond hadn't even had the time to greet him that he ended up with a pile of documents in his arms, a pile so big that it almost hid his sight:
"I have to go and help with the armament, can you bring this to the boss's office? Thanks!"
Sven was silent at first, watching his comrade leave at once. Then he felt angry: Icepick was exaggerated, he could have asked him his opinion before giving him his job! Sven wouldn't have refused, but it would have been the least of the politeness!
He grunted a little, annoyed, and turned away from his original route and headed for the RHM office, which he knew the way by heart.
It gave him a good reason to go see his boss, even if he wasn't sure he would find him at his office.
He sighed for a long time, really irritated. He would have preferred to be with Burt, joking with him and taking his mind off things.
He arrived at his destination, still muttering insults at Icepick, and used his elbow to open the door and enter the room, which he found deserted.
RHM wasn't there.
Sven stopped to observe each corner of the room, without being able to control the disappointment which had come to tighten his heart. And at the same time perhaps it was better like that, perhaps it was better not that he sees his lover, otherwise his apprehension and his concern were going to make only grow even more.
He walked towards the desk on which he placed the documents. He observed the pile for a moment, before rubbing the back of his neck:
"...maybe I can put this away...it will make less work for him...?"
He began to look at the documents, their titles, their data, just to know what it was about. Then he left the pile on the desk and approached the shelf to observe the storage.
What he didn't expect was to come across a picture frame that decorated the cabinet. He had never seen it before, perhaps because he hadn't needed to go near that shelf until today.
The picture represented the most important Toppats of the Clan. Of course Reginald was in the center, head held high, smiling proudly. To his left was Hanz, with his haughty posture and fiery gaze. And to his right was RHM, who did not yet have his cybernetic additions, who was a little more hunched over than the other two, who was almost trying to hide behind his hat, as if he had been annoyed by the photo.
And yet, by dint of observing, Sven could almost distinguish a smile from the redhead. A very discreet smile, but it was there, as he watched Reginald at an angle.
Reginald and RHM were close. Really close. Much too close.
"As long as Right doesn't replace you," Hanz had told him. But who was he kidding? He wasn't the one who was going to be replaced. On the contrary, it was he who had replaced Reginald. But now that Reginald was coming back...
"...everything will go back to normal..."
This short relationship with RHM was going to end. Soon he would be just another Toppat in his eyes. Deep down, he knew it... he knew all along that it couldn't last.
And yet this realization had just surprised him. What exactly did he expect? To live the great love, to get married and have many children? He wasn't in a Disney movie.
"... Damn..."
He stifled a gasp, starting to feel nauseous, and ran a hand over his eyes, which were starting to sting.
"I'm so fucking stupid..."
This wasn't the time to burst into tears. He wasn't in the right place for that at all. Besides, he wasn't a kid anymore, he was past the age of crying over heartbreak.
He breathed in to calm himself, once, twice.
"I'm fine."
He had tried to speak out loud to see if he would break down. Fortunately he didn't, and his voice was actually quite normal, much to his surprise. He took another breath, repeated "I'm fine" a second time, and turned away to retrieve the documents and put them away as he had wanted to do at first.
Unfortunately he felt shaky, just lifting a file seemed like an ordeal as he felt so feverish. He felt as if he had been hit with a sledgehammer and was completely stunned.
He was so stunned that he didn't hear the office door open.
"Sven?"
RHM's voice was the only source of noise, and for the young blond it seemed to come out of nowhere. He who was in his own little world, moping about his worries, this voice was such a surprise that he let out a scream, turned sharply to look at his boss, and in the rush he let some documents slip out of his hand and end up on the floor.
He became livid, almost panicked, having lost the little will he had a few minutes earlier. He tried to repeat to himself, this time in his mind "I'm fine", hoping to calm down in front of his superior:
"C-Chief, I ... it's ... sorry, I was just ..."
While he stammered he had looked away, crouched down to pick up the papers, but he cursed himself for wanting to cry again. Why did the mere sight of RHM make him lose his temper? Why had he come home now?
He held his breath as he felt the cyborg approaching.
"... Sven, what are you doing here? You've already given me back all your reports.
- ... I...I brought Icepick's files..."
RHM knelt down in turn, helping him pick up the last few sheets. Yet he didn't let Sven get up, coming to grab his wrist to hold him back.
The youngest had another startle, looked at his leader on the blow before fleeing again his glance, the dry throat.
That made frown with the cyborg, which didn't release any more his lover of the eyes.
"... Sven... What's going on?
-... N-Nothing...I...you surprised me..."
But RHM wasn't fooled, Sven was far too nervous for it to be due to simple surprise. Worried, he put back the documents on the floor and did the same with those held by his lover, before coming to grab his chin with his free hand to force him to look at him.
Sven didn't struggle despite his tremors, he never managed to fight against the older man.
"... Is it because of the mission?" his leader asked gently. Are you worried?"
Sven was surprised by the question, and RHM took it as a positive answer. He slid his hand over the younger man's cheek and stroked him tenderly:
"Everything will be fine... We have studied the terrain and the manpower. The mission won't drag on forever and everyone will return safely, including me."
He offered him a reassuring smile:
"And I am a cyborg, I am resistant."
Sven hesitated, but the fact that RHM tried to reassure him - and it worked, after all it was true that the youngest was apprehensive about the mission - made him happy, made him blush softly and nod his head, his breathing becoming less chaotic.
Satisfied, the cyborg rested his forehead against his:
"Fine. I'll have to go, but while I'm gone, promise me to take care of you, and not to make you sick with worry, okay?
-Okay... Yes, I promise..."
RHM placed a tender kiss against his lips. It was short, but it was enough for Sven to feel a soft warmth seize him and make him smile shyly. His boss had this faculty to make him juggle between the emotions, it was surprising.
They both straightened up and Sven hesitated to accompany his lover to the teleportation room. But he remembered the files he had to put away and that made him sigh.
"... Chief...?
- Yes, what is it?
- ... I will keep an eye on the station in your absence, so focus on this mission without fear!"
The cyborg looked at him with surprise then allowed himself a slight laugh, before coming over to ruffle the younger man's hair :
"Say, it is me who is supposed to reassure you, not the opposite."
Sven returned his smile:
"No... We have to reassure each other. We are equals after all."
Before panicking:
" Uh, I mean, no, we're not equals, you're the leader! But, we're part of the same clan and... well... I don't mean any disrespect or anything, really, I meant..."
RHM silenced him with another kiss:
"Sven, I get it, don't worry about it."
The younger man hid his embarrassed face behind his hands, puffing up his cheeks with a bit of shame, as he felt he was being treated like a child.
"H-Hurry up and go!" he exclaimed. "The sooner you are gone, the sooner you will be back!
- All right, all right, I'll hurry."
But Right became addicted to their proximity and, once again, he returned near Sven, this time to deposit a kiss on his cheek. He made himself then violence to move away and leave the room, otherwise he would not finish any more kissing his young lover.
Sven felt burning. He was surprised to feel relieved when he heard the door close. Maybe because, if RHM hadn't left, it would surely have ended up on the desk like so many times before. Unfortunately the situation didn't allow them to make love the way they wanted to...
He breathed deeply, trying to calm the beating of his heart. But now he was even more confused: RHM didn't seem to want to leave him out, but if so, what would happen when Reginald returned?
He could hear the hum of the engines through the metal walls in which he had been locked. It made a strange, unpleasant echo that made him cower in his mobile cell and try to bury his head in his arms to cover the noise. Reginald couldn't cover his ears, this simple action was prevented by the handcuffs that bound his wrists and covered his hands. The handcuffs were a bit heavy, and the fatigue he had accumulated since his arrest did not help him lift them.
He could feel the vehicle jerking, hitting bumps or dips. The road must have been a mess. He didn't really know where the government was taking him, but he guessed that his next prison would be worse than the last.
His lip was burning, it was swollen, as was his right cheek. He had been hit that morning, he didn't know why. He had been hit many times in the last few weeks. The bruises covered his body, his legs, his arms... He also had several wounds but they were hidden under the bandages.
And he had dark circles under his eyes, evidence of those many sleepless nights.
He had been questioned, yelled at, threatened. But he had kept silent, had not divulged any compromising information. Despite his arrest, he remained a Toppat. Even if he was stripped of his title of chief, he was still a member of the clan.
"...That's how I should think...right Karl...?" he muttered.
His throat knotted, he closed his eyes that were starting to burn as he imagined his henchman at his side. He imagined him putting a hand on his shoulder, watching him in silence, but his mere presence would have been a relief.
But RHM wasn't there. No one was at his side. He was alone.
The weight of loneliness was always heavier on his shoulders.
He hadn't been alone for a long time. When he had joined the Toppat clan, years ago, he had met the person who had changed his life forever: Terrence Suave.
Terrence was charismatic, intelligent, strong. He was a symbol, a personality that was feared. The mere mention of his name made even the most reckless people run away.
Reginald was one of those who feared him, but beyond his fear, he had admiration, a deep respect for his leader.
Reginald had always sworn by power. He had grown up in a family that didn't accept defeat. One had to succeed, always succeed, be at the top, manipulate, corrupt, to get rich and rule. Terrence had seemed like the example to follow, and Reginald had no hesitation in swearing loyalty to him, in becoming his right-hand man.
What a cruel mistake. Cruel and stupid.
Terrence was violent, even with those he called "his friends. Reginald remembered the blows, the bruises on his body when he made a mistake. Failure was never allowed, and he often wondered how he could have survived when his superior took it out on him.
Deep down, he knew the answer. The one who had saved him, who had carried him to the infirmary so many times, who had taken care of him, was Karl... in other words, RHM.
Reginald bit his lip, no longer able to ignore the memories that were torturing him. The days when Terrence Suave ruled the clan were unforgettable, unfortunately.
Terrence knew how to handle words, gestures. He knew how to break you psychologically, how to take you to your limits. He knew what he had put Karl through, knew the abuse he had put him through.
That's what made Reginald so angry, so hateful. When RHM, his colleague, his friend, broke down in his arms one night, cried in front of him for the first time, Reginald couldn't accept it.
His loyalty to Terrence had been shattered...
Just like the door of the truck in which he was locked. The sound of shattering metal startled Reginald, who raised his head, squinting at the brightness outside. Then, after the stupor, he came back to reality by smelling the fresh air of freedom, by perceiving the sounds of nature... by meeting the eyes of the one he had loved and still loved.
"...Karl...?"
Reginald was speechless, unable to believe that his right hand man was standing before him. Yet it was real, he was fully aware of it as he saw Right enter the vehicle, approaching him, placing a tender hand on his cheek.
"... Nice to see you again Reg..."
Right was almost trembling with emotion, as was Reginald, and he took him in his arms gently for fear of breaking him.
"...I missed you..."
The rescue mission was a success.