IMPORTANT: Before you read, let me remind y'all to take care of yourselves. Don't forget to check on yourselves. We watch SVU and do other things that help us escape, but we do live in the real world and still have to confront it after the credits have run.

Anyway, I hope y'all didn't pity Elliot in the last chapter. He will be a-okay. Endgame, remember?

Elliot found Kat in the pediatric wing leaning with her elbows on the nurse's station counter. He walked with a relaxed stride and leaned next to her. "Officer Tamin," he smiled behind his blue face mask. Charm radiated from his mischievous eyes. She straightened up immediately and greeted him as Detective Stabler. "Don't worry about it," he insisted. "It's going on four right now. Ya look like you could use a coffee." Kat laughed weakly, correcting the hood of her puffer coat so that it wasn't crooked before pressing her black cloth mask to the bridge of her nose. "I didn't expect a call this morning. I was confident about it," she explained. He turned and leaned his back against the counter instead. "You can never tell which cases are gonna go slow, fast, slow down, or damn near run you off the track," he said. It was as validating as it was supposed to be.

"At least we're getting somewhere. It was looking like a dead end," she said.

"There are no dead ends," he replied, grin fading. "Only road blocks, detours."

"Good," she sighed. "I don't know how I'd sleep if we don't catch this guy."

"At least you're still sleeping," he said.

He was looking her in the eyes, yet she sensed a distance in his stare. She reminded him of Olivia early in their partnership. There'd been an innocence about her, in her naivety. Young, eager, righteous. When you're young, he thought, everything is black and white, and there's a bold boundary that separates right from wrong. At SVU, colors blend. Sometimes they can be broken down and pulled apart. Other times, the bonds that build the human experience are so strong and intricate with trauma knotted up in the folds that even a chemist couldn't break it down. And the colors combine into an ugly brown, excremental shade.

A middle-aged male nurse met them from the other side of the counter. From behind his mask and face shield he thanked them for waiting and led them down the hall and into the viewing room. They passed a number of babies, soundly asleep or cooing in their pods. In the back corner the nurse placed the cold end of his stethoscope on the baby's chest and belly. "Babyboy Doe," he proclaimed with pity in his tone. He chuckled almost mournfully. The baby's belly was small and robust, his skin pink, and the fuzz on top of his head was a faint blond. Elliot peered at the child adoringly and protectively, whereas Kat looked on clinically. "And he's all fine, medically?" she wanted to confirm. The nurse said yes. "He's even packed on a half a pound already. I call him Baby Doughboy," he chuckled almost mournfully.

"Where's the person that brought him in?" Elliot asked.

"We don't know," the nurse answered. "But I can describe him. We also have cameras in the waiting room, halls, and at entrances."

"That'll help. What do you remember about him," Elliot said. Tamin pulled a notepad from her inside pocket.

"Okay, so he was a black guy. His hair was thick and in kind of an afro, but the ends were in like little twists. His hair was light brown, almost auburn - I remember thinking 'ya know, ya don't really see that shade with darker skin tones.'"

"Great. Do you remember his clothes? Did he have any tattoos? Scars?"

"He had a wide keloid scar on his neck, like he'd been gashed at some point. That tends to happen with gaping cuts. Maybe a bar fight?"

"Anything else?" Elliot pressed.

"Hmmm. Cigarettes. He smelled like stale cigarette smoke. I remember thinking 'ya know, I hope he doesn't smoke around the baby.' Even offered him an infopacket on quitting, but he handed it back."

Both detectives' faces lit up. Tamin asked, "Do you still have the packet?" The nurse said they might. He'd placed it back in its placeholder at the counter. Elliot retrieved a small evidence bag from an inside pocket of his overcoat and offered to trade it for Kat's notepad and pen, sensing that she'd want to hurry to the nurse's station for the infopacket. She nodded her thanks and broke into a brisk march.

Elliot recognized the grief in the nurse's demeanor, and he joined him in watching the baby's torso expand with air and shrink. "Beautiful, isn't he?" Elliot said, encouraging the nurse to verbalize his thoughts. He wanted to make sure he held nothing back, as witnesses and even medical professionals sometimes don't know what can be helpful. "Yes," the nurse whispered. "Who wouldn't want this precious... small, precious life?" The nurse cleared his throat and straightened his back. "Can you tell I transfered to pediatrics just recently?" he laughed, embarassed.

"He is precious. What's important is he's healthy and safe," Elliot assured with a contagious calm. "We'll find who did this."

"Good."

The baby began to stir, and his eyes opened as he began to frown. His eyes were as bright as the sky, and just as blue. He looked like Eli. Kat returned with wearing latex gloves and holding the evidence bag. "I hope you don't mind," she said, placing the bag in her coat pocket. "I grabbed all the tobacco infopackets in case they got mixed up. If the one he touched is here, there's a good chance we'll get his prints." She removed her gloves as they exited the room. Next, they walked down the hall to the elevator. Elliot pressed the button that indicated B, for basement. "We're gonna get the security footage while we're here," he said. The elevator pinged, and they stepped on. "That baby's eyes were blue as the aquamarine pendant my wife made me buy her," he remarked.

"It's not likely the guy that dumped the mom had blue eyes," Kat followed.

"Remind me again, what color were the victim's eyes."

"I think they were brown, but I can't be sure. Too busy looking at her intestines... trying not to barf..."

"Eh, you'll get used to it. Unfortunately," Elliot ensured. They stood in silence as the elevator descended.

"So... what was Olivia like? Ya know, back in the day," Kat asked, filling the silence. Elliot let his head fall back as he briefly embraced fonder memories of their partnership. "Well, she was young," he said, letting a laugh slip. "We were both so much younger. She was smart, like a clairvoyant with the victims, dedicated. Tireless - even when she was tired. And, man, did we have our cases that completely consumed us. She's the strongest woman I'll probably ever know. The best partner I ever had." He bit his lip behind his mask and squinted, kicking himself for sharing so much with a detective he barely knew. Being back made him feel more open than he would've wanted. Almost comfortable. Kat didn't say anything but just observed him as he spoke about Olivia. "You've got a good captain," he said when he finally looked at Kat. "She learned from the best. Take notes when she's around."

When Olivia arrived at the precinct, Kat was working at her computer. Fin and Amanda were not there. When she asked, Kat told her Fin and Amanda were canvassing the neighborhood around the crime scene. "Until we get another break, they figured somebody could've seen the victim or perp around before the dump," she said. Olivia nodded, impressed at her detectives' initiative. It was not as if they don't always take initiative, though. She's just always pleased when they do, even when she tries not to let them see it. She took a few more steps toward her office before turning and asking, "And what are you going?"

"Re-checking VICAP, public records, anything I can use to identify the perp or the victim," Kat said, fighting back a yawn. "And manning the phones."

"That's good, Kat. And where's your temporary partner?"

"Oh, Stabler? He took the hospital's surveillance down to TARU, and he's gonna bring back the enhanced bridge video."

"Okay. Not too bad for a crime with minimal evidence."

"Is there anything else you want me to do," Kat asked.

"No. I'm gonna call Warner - that's if she hasn't fallen apart yet. I know I would, doing her job," she answered, shaking her head.

In her office, she took off her gun and place it together with her purse on the desk. She eased down into her chair, trying to stay decompressed despite the stress of work's demands. Then she took a deep breath with her palms on her thighs. The end of her service weapon's handle was within view. There was a light patch of discloration where she'd kept Elliot's badge pendant for years after he'd left. Propping an her right elbow on the chair's arm, she rested her chin on her fist. She'd ripped the pendant off in the heat of her anger and handed it to him to make him feel what she felt. Rejected. She hoped it hurt him, but at the same time, it hurt her. Now, she was without the pendant, and who knows when he'll disappear again.

She was conflicted between hurting him back and wanting him around. Now, looking at the bare spot of her gun handle, it almost felt like he was gone all over again. Her eyes fixated on that light colored spot. It looked like when a dog gets burned, and the fur grows thick and dark everywhere except that specific spot. Gradually, she came out of her haze.

She pulled her smartphone from her purse. The lockscreen showed the date and time over a picture of Noah smiling behind white specks of snow he'd thrown toward his mother. Olivia unlocked it and dialed the medical examiner's office. An assistant informed her Warner was too busy to speak on the phone and the reports were not complete. He still offered, of course, that Dr. Warner would be obliged to explain her findings in person. Olivia said she understood and stated she'd send someone within the hour. Just as she was hanging up the phone, there was a knock at her office door and it opened.

Elliot.

He stood at attention with a two DVD sleeves in hand. He greeted her politely and respectfully. "Liv," he said, "I've got the enhanced bridge footage and hospital surveillance." Olivia looked down at his hands. She said, "You know, TARU's protocol is to send secure electronic copies, right? You didn't need to bring physical copies." He shrugged his shoulders and smirked. "I'm old fashioned that way." Olivia motioned for him to sit. He did, biting back a groan. He looked at her with sympathy in his eyes. Olivia returned a neutral stare, consuming this character before her.

"So," he started, "this was my last grunt mission. How long do you plan on keeping me at arm's length?"

"There was never a plan," she said. "How could I have planned... for any of this?" She asked it exasperatedly. When she paused, she used her hands in lieu of her lost words. Elliot swallowed.

"I just... I could never find the right time," he said.

"Any time would've been acceptable. A phone call would've sufficed."

"And say what? Tell you... I'm a coward?"

"Tell me our twelve years meant something," she growled with a pleading pitch.

"You know they did," he said, sitting up onto the edge of his chair.

"Do I?"

He sighed. He tried to contain his shame. He had the urge to defend himself, and yet he felt his disappearance was unforgiveable. He couldn't find the words to explain it so that she could understand. He tried. "You know... my history. And more than I would've ever wanted you to know. You were the last person I wanted to see me as... a failure," he said.

"Did you think I was under the impression that you were perfect?"

"No-"

"Because you would've been wrong," she said coldly.

"I- I'm back. I'm going to be around. Our lines of work are going to cross - probably often. I need to know there's something for us on the other side of this- this hard place."

"Hm," she nodded, lips presseed together.

This week I'm going to bring chapter 6 to you guys. I've been so thoroughly relieved to see the return of SVU, the reunion and crossovers, and the return of Elliot to his own show. I love Organized Crime. I love the grungy, noir-esque feel, the score, the dramatics, the action! i think it's a perfect atmosphere to continue exploring our complex love: Elliot Stabler. Anyway, where do you think the case in this fanfic is going? What do you think it'll take for Olivia and Elliot to fully reconcile? Is there a song that always makes you think about them, even if it wasn't in a fanvid? For me, it's Paravi Das's cover of "Cloud 9." 3