Chapter 5: Anger

Meredith Grey's day was dull and uneventful. She didn't seem to be able to scramble out from the horrendous amount of administrative work. One of the reasons for that was that she was just beginning, and she had to attest all the documents, from the smallest to the grandest files, with her name. Apart from that, she didn't delegate her work. Her secretary, hired at the times before Webber, didn't have much executive power.

Meredith was supposed to appoint a Deputy Chief, but it was a difficult decision. It had to be a person whom she trusted. The sad reality was that she didn't trust anyone in this building except Addison. Choosing Addison, however, was out of the question.

The Deputy Chief job would be too much for her to handle and it really had to be given to someone indigenous. Meredith was sure that otherwise, she would face a little riot. The natural choice for the position would be Dr. Derek Shepherd; it was probably expected to be Dr. Derek Shepherd, the runner-up in the chief race.

Nonetheless, Meredith was hesitating. Appointing him would make the running of the hospital the way she desired a constant struggle for authority and obedience.

Meredith took a break from her mundane tasks and stretched her legs making a short trip to the vending machine. However, even inanimate object seemed to be against her at this hospital. The fraudulent machine swallowed her coins not willing to give out her can of Coke. She kicked it hard with her foot; she'd never risk doing it with her hand.

Little she knew that the machine turned out to be very popular that day. Derek had just scrubbed out of a very demanding surgery and dreamed of nothing else than to quench his thirst with a bottle of mineral water. He groaned when he spotted Meredith Grey leaning towards the vending machine. He briefly considered fleeing before she had a chance to see him. He could get his water elsewhere. But then a much stronger and angrier voice rang in his head. He wasn't some unworthy peasant scurrying in fear from Her Majesty's way. Besides, she had no reason to look down on him anymore, not when he knew she got the post through her mother's protection.

Derek cocked an eyebrow witnessing Meredith physically abuse the machine. How could such a petite woman possess such a force in her?

"Violence is never a good solution," he said coming near her.

Meredith kicked the machine one last time, the motion allowing Derek to see more of her leg, and a can of Coke finally fell out with a thud.

"Sometimes it is," replied Meredith brazenly turning to face him.

Damn it! He's in scrubs… The man is hot, you can't take it from him, girl! Such a pity he's a complete dork.

He wouldn't have to use his brain for what she wanted him to do…

Derek looked at the can in her hand. "A regular Coke? I'm surprised. I'd think that such a fashionista as you would be obsessive about her diet."

He knew the like of her from New York. She was the type of a woman spending incredible amounts of time and money at the beautician's, at the hairdresser's or in exclusive boutiques.

"I'm a natural beauty," said Meredith defiantly. Well, well, well, Dr. Shepherd you've taken a good look at me, haven't you? "Seems like you're a health nut," she pointed at the bottle of water he chose. "Good for you! At a certain age, things start to go downhill."

Derek narrowed his eyes at her. I'm not old, for God's sake! I'm 35! And I can show you how fit I am any time, baby…

"How do you find living in Seattle, Dr. Grey?" he asked casually, trying to bite her from another side. "Not missing your family too much?"

Meredith watched him closely. She knew well enough the look on his face when he stressed the word "family". She got that look at every step of her career. At med school, during her residency, when she started to work at Sinai…

The whispering behind her back, the envious looks telling her she didn't have the right to be where she was just because of being royally inbred. Her mother's shadow was following her everywhere.

"Why, Seattle's just brilliant. Planning to stay here for a long time," fired Meredith venomously, walking away but leaving behind her a very satisfied Derek.

Ha! He touched the right nerve; he always knew where to cut.

"Patricia, tell Dr. Montgomery to come to my office immediately," she ordered her secretary.

Five minutes later, Addison arrived at her office to find her pacing up and down.

"You wanted to see me, Mer?"

"Have you said something about my mother?" asked Meredith, not wasting time.

"Said what?" Addie frowned.

"They know, I'm sure they know!"

"That Ellis Grey is your mother?" Addie sat down in front of her desk. Her friend obviously needed moral support. Ellis had always been a touchy subject.

"Yeah," I'm sure they know," repeated Mer. "They hated me and now they loath me and look down on me. That stupid McJackass, throwing it in my face!"

Aha, so that was what drove Meredith up the wall… "Well," Addie carefully chose her words not to aggravate her friend's mood. "I haven't said anything. They were bound to put two and two together finally. You couldn't expect such information to lie quiet for long."

"I guess…"

"Don't worry," encouraged Addie. "You know it's just a temporary phase, it always is. You'll win their respect soon enough."

"Yes, Addison," Meredith's voice was bitter. "I always do. I've been earning respect since the day that I was born. Isn't respect one of the human rights? Every homo sapiens merits the respect just for belonging to the species. Why do I have to be any different?"

"Meredith Grey!" scolded Addie. "You're pitying yourself!"

Meredith straightened herself up, "I am not!"

"You so are!"

"I am not! I need a kick-ass surgery!" she exclaimed. "I need blood; I need to cut some brain open!"