A/N: here you finally have it, chapter 5! I have been writing on it for some time now but scrapped the entire planned ending and rewrote it only an hour ago since I wasn't happy with the original one. I've been thinking about writing the same story (and everything you don't see from jay's perspective) from King's POV to fill in some blanks. From experience I can say that writing it from another perspective usually helps me get inspiration for the main story. Is that something anybody would be interested in reading? Anyways, enjoy the story!
"That's exactly why I told Chris this wasn't a good idea. You don't know me anymore and frankly I'm not so sure I trust you. This whole damn thing feels like a waste of time."
"I am sorry to hear that." King said seriously and moved to sit down on the bed next to me. "Although I had a feeling you did mean your earlier words."
"I did and I do." I replied stubbornly.
"Why do you feel that way though?" He asked with a hint of curiosity that calmed me a little.
"Because it's bound to go sideways. I keep telling you that you don't know me anymore."
"I think I still know you enough to judge your character Jay. I see it in everything you do and do not do. How you interact with Will and your parents. The way you react in situations and things you do without thinking about it. I even see it in how you interact with me and Chris. How about I tell you what I see before you start thinking that I don't know what I'm talking about?" King proposed.
"Sure."
"Underneath all the anger and stubbornness, you are a sweet loving and kind-hearted kid who is simply too used to dealing with everything on your own. You try so hard to shut us out because you are scared to trust and lean on somebody else for a change. And that is not me saying that you don't trust your parents or Will, because I know you do, but I don't think you tell them what's going on all the time."
"Mom works a lot; I don't like to worry her." I surprised myself by admitting.
"I know." He replied seriously "And that's exactly what I mean. Then with your Dad and Will so far away you don't feel like they can do anything about it anyway, right?"
I shrugged my shoulders without commenting, a little surprised by how much King had learned simply by studying me the past few days.
"Am I wrong?" He asked again, more insisting on an actual answer this time.
"Not completely." I admitted.
"I can't help but feel that there is more to it though as well. Care to share?"
"No." My answer was instantaneous. I had no intentions of ever telling them about my friend situation.
"Okay. But I hope you'll tell Will at least." He sounded genuinely concerned. "And I hope you see now that I do know a thing or two about you."
"But not important stuff." I protested.
"Like?"
"Like…I don't know. But you know barely anything, even you have to admit that."
"I feel like I know everything I need to know to get into this mentorship with you."
"You don't."
"It's still my choice, kiddo. And I am taking you under my wing, whether you like it or not."
"Not."
"Your entitled to your opinion." King smiled sadly. "Anyways. Check your list and come join us downstairs. Will is beating himself up bad. I'm sure that he especially could do with some quality time with you right now."
"What did he tell you while I was asleep?" I asked suspiciously.
"He shed a little light on a few things that Chris and I had already suspected."
"I'm going to have words with my brother about him blabbering of all my secrets to you guys."
"You do that." King smiled humouredly. "But I'm happy at least one of you talk to us."
"Don't count on me doing that anytime soon." I couldn't help but comment, causing his smile to disappear.
"I'm sure it will take time, but I hope you'll feel comfortable coming to us in the future." I shrugged, not so sure, but wanting the conversation to be over.
"Check your list." King walked out of my room after an affectionate squeeze to my shoulder, having gotten the message that he wasn't getting anything else out of me right then.
I had written down everything I intended to before falling asleep, I realized, so I tentatively made my way downstairs as quietly as possible, that way I could change my mind halfway if I wanted to.
"He'll come around." I stopped at the bottom of the stairs, listening intently to the conversation coming from the living room.
"I'm starting to think that he is even more stubborn than you were at his age." Chris sighed.
"Possibly." Will admitted. "But you know as well as I why he is digging his heels in so hard. He is scared you'll abandon him."
"Again." King commented with an even bigger sigh.
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You did what you thought was right. I understand that and deep down so does Jay, but it will take time before he trusts that you aren't going anywhere."
"We have time." King sounded determined. "But at this rate I think I'll see his butt more than his face."
Will and Chris snorted amused before Chris got serious.
"I'm handling the drinking, right?"
"Yes, but tomorrow. And remember, he can't handle any more swats tonight so unless he well and clearly steps over the line I don't want either of you to even so much as give him a love pat."
"Yes sir." Will answered seriously.
"I hear you." Chris agreed. There was a moment of silence before Chris spoke again: "I thought we made headway when he accepted my hug without too much fuss, but every time we take one step forward, he takes two steps back the next second. It's not so easy to show how much we care when we have to be such hard asses all the time."
"You aren't. You are showing Jay that there are limits, and those limits will help ground him." Will protested. "I'm sure he has broken quite a few rules the past months." A lot more than I ever wanted Will to find out, yes.
"Well, he is your brother." Chris commented. "I'm sure he takes after you in that department."
"I wasn't that bad." Will protested meekly.
"Only during your teenage years."
"Jay is harder to read though, as I'm sure you've realized. His stone face is one he doesn't dare pull around Dad, but he has no problem trying it on me, when he doesn't want me in the loop." I realized a little ashamed that I had in fact used my stone face quite a lot on Will the past few months, abusing the fact that neither he nor Dad could properly deal with me from a distance.
"That stone face is high on my list of habits Jason is going to have to give up. Along with taking off when things get though."
"He does have a habit of ending my calls when he doesn't like what I have to say. In fact, he did it just yesterday."
"That's just plain disrespectful." Chris reacted disapprovingly.
"I agree. That will have to stop. We are here now Will and I know you don't like telling on your brother but if he does that you need to tell us. He shouldn't treat you like that and I'm going to have words with him about it."
"Please don't yet. There are so many things he needs to adjust to right now. That can wait. Besides, he may get rid of the habit on his own after spending time with you guys. I know I lost quite a few bad habits on my own, simply out of respect for you and the way I made you look."
"Yes you did." King sounded quite proud. "I'll hold off on the lecture for right now, but not forever and you will tell us William if Jason is disrespectful towards you."
"Yes sir." My brother's answer was instantaneous even though I had heard enough of the conversation to know he wasn't happy about it.
"We're not saying that you can't handle Jay, kiddo, not at all. This is just us stepping in and giving you a helping hand. You've done a great job with the kid and it especially shows when you are in the same room as him, but these habits we've talked about, you don't have time to break during a school holiday. It takes longer, and that's what we are here for."
Will didn't answer so I curiously poked my head around the wall just far enough to see Will cuddled next to Chris, his head on his shoulder and even with his back against me I could see how relaxed he was.
"Jay?" Startled I realized that King had seen me, and he gave me a curious gaze before motioning me closer with his hand.
"Is your list ready?"
"The way you are asking about it makes it feel like a punishment or school assignment." I told him unhappily.
"It's not, but I think it's important, which is why I keep asking." His rational and calm answer made me see red, but I didn't dare voice what the voice inside my head suggested so I kept quiet. "The food will be ready in twenty minutes, why don't we play a game while we wait?"
"Do you have any good ones?" I asked suspiciously.
"Well, I don't think we have time for monopoly, but your brother made me get a Wii a couple of years ago, so I do have Mario cart. Unless you of course prefer Jenga."
"Mario Cart." Getting to beat Chris would brighten my spirits considerably.
-Finding a way-
"I'm aware it wasn't part of the deal with Will, and that's why you can choose not to, but I think it would be beneficial if you shared your list with us."
"Sure." I shrugged. "I have no problem listing of especially all the times Chris has made me angry." Or all the times that was a part of the list, at least.
"Mind if I read it?" I shrugged and handed it off to him.
"Did you list everything?" My brother asked suspiciously and here is where it got tricky, because the more time Will spent with me the more refreshed his memory seemed to be on how to read me like an open book.
"Everything I could think of." I lied smoothly.
"I don't believe you."
"Sounds like a you-problem."
"Sound like we have a problem." Will countered giving me a stern look. "You know I can read you like an open book Jay, so why even try?"
"I think you need to fine tune those skills a little Will, because I've listed everything."
"Everything you want us to know."
"Boys." King's tone had us both quiet down immediately. "For the record; I agree with Will, I don't think you are being completely honest Jason."
"Of course, you do." I muttered upset and kicked the coffee table a little for emphasis.
"But." King levelled me with a look that had me stilling my foot without protest. "I think it might be best if we deal with what is actually on the list first. I have a feeling it will be long enough for one evening anyway."
"For some unknown reason." I chipped in sarcastically. "It's not like you abandoned me for two years. Not that I'm bitter about it, mind you."
King ignored my comment completely and chose to instead focus on my list.
You abandoned me for two years.
You came back into my life only because Will asked you to.
You force me to stay here against my will.
You make decisions about my day-to-day life over my head.
Chris thinks that I need to listen to him.
Chris treating me like a five-year-old.
Every time Chris opens his mouth.
"Really Jason?" King asked with a sigh. "I honestly thought we had come further than this.
"It's not my fault Chris can't keep his mouth in check." I answered smartly.
"One more comment like that and its an early bedtime for you."
"What?! There is no way I could fall asleep before midnight." I argued.
"Midnight?"
"Do you have a problem with that too?" I asked moodily, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Depends on why."
"And if I don't want to share the reason?" I challenged. Instead of replying King moved to sit down in front of me on the coffee table and gave me a look that spoke volumes. I tried to meet his gaze defiantly, but not even I was immune against King's "you better shape up fast" look, so I eventually turned away my gaze defeated.
"It never gets easier falling asleep in a big quiet house alone," I admitted quietly, focusing my gaze on my lap. "So if Mom has a night shift I usually try to do something until I eventually fall asleep from exhaustion. Preferably with background noise. And sure, I can't with a clean conscious say that I've never stayed up late intentionally, but not often."
"What are your dropping grades about? Is it from your lack of sleep?"
"Not entirely. It's a lot of different things combined. And no, I don't want to list them all."
"Okay." King accepted calmly, causing me to stare dumbly at him in surprise.
"Okay?" I echoed doubtfully.
"Okay." King confirmed. "The important thing is that you get them back up and there are other things I'd much rather get an answer to, so yes, you may keep the reasons to yourself."
"Thanks." I gave him a tentative smile that he returned. He then while still holding eye contact carefully reached out a hand and squeezed my shoulder affectionally.
"Are you okay with sharing the rest of your list?" King asked moving to sit beside me on the sofa and moving the hand from my shoulder to affectionally run it through my hair instead when I didn't protest. I instantly nodded my head in response, careful to not make King believe that I wanted him to move his hand. The soothing motion had started to calm me, and I hated to admit it even to myself, but it felt nice. Chris seeing that King wasn't going to, picked up the list and finished reading it quietly with a face I couldn't read much to my frustration.
"How do you want us to react to this?" Chris asked seriously once he was done reading, not moving from his spot on the armchair.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused and a little disappointed that I hadn't managed to rile up Chris with my list.
"There is a way we did it with your brother back in the day, but I'm not so sure you will respond to the same ways, so how do you want us to react? Do you want us to explain the reasons behind some of this or do you want to move on like if you never wrote it?" Chris asked seriously.
"You mean I have a choice?!" I asked disbelieving.
"We are not dictators Jay. I know this transition is hard for you and that I admittedly can be a bit of a hard ass at times, but contrary to what you seem to believe, I don't like having to be so hard on you all the time."
"Good to know." I answered evenly, unsure of what to say. I threw my brother a questioning look, but he only studied me intently. "I don't know what I want." I admitted with a sigh when the silence became too much.
"How about we do this another way?" Will suddenly proposed.
"What are you thinking?" Chris asked.
"We all know that Jay doesn't like talking so how about this: Jay can ask either or both of you a question that you must answer truthfully. In turn you get to do the same. That way everything that needs to be cleared gets cleared."
"What if somebody doesn't want to answer something?"
"Every pass means the other person gets to pass another question too. Does that sound fair?"
"Sounds fair to me." King shrugged.
"Sure." Chris answered with a shrug.
"What if you don't like the questions I'm asking?" I wondered, careful to keep the worry I felt out of my voice.
"We won't get angry if that is what you are worried about. If we don't like your question, we simply won't answer it." King reassured me.
"Okay, but only if Will also participates."
"I don't mind." Will smiled when Chris and king turned questioning gazes towards him. "I'd like to start actually."
"Go for it."
"Chris, do you like Jay as much as me?" I could only gape at the question. Out of all the questions to start out with he had to pick that one. To say that Chris even liked me felt like an exaggeration, so why it even counted as a question was beyond me. That he would like me as much as my perfect brother was laughable.
"Yes." Chris answered firmly. "I love you both the same. Like it or not you are both like younger brothers to me."
"Good to know." Will replied calmly while I tried to wrap my head around what the heck just had happened. "Your turn."
"Wait, you are joking. That's not true and you said you would be truthful." I protested without thinking.
"I've said it before, and I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to believe me; I love you like a kid brother Jason. I haven't been great at showing it lately, but I do." When I still looked at him doubtfully, he stood and drew first my brother into a quick hug and then me before I had a chance to protest. I felt myself relaxing into his arms immediately despite myself. Chris's hugs were quite amazing, and he guided my head to rest on his shoulder before speaking quietly so only the two of us could hear. "I love you, kiddo, and I will continue to do so the rest of my life. I promise you; I'm not going anywhere. No amount of bucking will change that. I know you are testing us with your behaviour to see if we'll stay, and we will. There is nothing you can do to get rid of us." Chris released me with one final squeeze but kept his arms on my shoulders. "Got it Trouble?"
"I hate that nickname" I grumbled. When he only stared at me unyielding, I sighed but let all pretences of anger go and asked: "How did you know?"
"I had a bit of a realization earlier, and I know you eavesdropped to our conversation with Will, but it wasn't your brother who made us aware of it."
"How did you know then?"
"Because I still know you and I've kept a close eye on you for days. Oh, you've played the part of angry teenager all to well and I'm sure some of it was real, but you couldn't quiet hide your initial reaction a few times. Once I knew what to look for it became all too clear what you tried to hide."
"Why not say something earlier?"
"I only became sure of it this morning. Besides, you've made it quite clear that no number of reassuring words would help, you had to find out on your own."
"I still will."
"I know. And my answer won't change, so go ahead."
"You aren't mad?" I asked him a little surprised.
"Why would I be?"
"Because I keep pushing your buttons and I don't plan on stopping for a while."
"If that is what you need to do to know that I am here for you, go right ahead. But know that I do reserve the right to spank you when you do, so for your own sake; don't take it too far."
"No promises." I grinned cheekily. "Will isn't the only one who can get away with stuff."
"Not to burst your bubble, but we do have to catch you misbehaving in order for you to know that there is nothing you could do to make us abandon you again."
"I can always have some fun in between." I shrugged, already looking forward to pranking Chris at first available moment. "What?" I asked, when the three other shared a smile.
"It's good to see you be you." King explained and ruffled my hair as he stood. I ducked my hair sheepishly but didn't offer any comment. "I have missed seeing this side of you."
"Yeah, instead of your backside." Will laughed at his own joke and I got even redder.
"I'm sure you've been in plenty of trouble yourself." I muttered and glared at him.
"Yes, which reminds me; have you picked up any new habits lately William?" Chris asked sternly and I sat back down thankful for the change of topic.
"After what you did when you found out what I had been up to my freshman year in college?! No chance."
"What did you do?" I asked intrigued, not having heard anything about it before.
"Partied and drank along with ignoring my curfew and neglecting my studies. All adults involved where royally pissed when they found out."
"Really?! You?!"
"Yes. Me. Anyways, it's my turn: King; who is more trouble, Jay or I?"
"You. For reasons you just mentioned." I stared surprised at him as he turned towards me. "Will can be pretty sneaky when he wants to get away with something. You on the other hand face everything heads on- good or bad. Will's sneakiness is usually what lands him in deeper trouble. Jason: what, that I have done, are you most angry about?"
"Abandoning me without an explanation. I know you did it to protect me from that serial killer, but why not let me know? You let Will know." I accused, getting mad again. King sensing my mood shift started rubbing my back in calming circles.
"I didn't. I sent your brother a coded message through a mutual friend of ours. He contacted your parents to let them know not to contact me or Chris before we contacted him. The reason I didn't tell them to tell you, was because I didn't want to scare you. You were only 12 at the time Jay. I realize now thought that I should have made sure somebody explained to you that us staying away had nothing to do with you."
"Why not come back once you caught him? It didn't take you two years." The question had haunted me since King told me the initial reason that he and Chris had kept their distance.
"It didn't. It took us nearly six months though. During which time your brother decided that he didn't need to follow my rules."
"Exactly!"
"I don't have a good enough excuse. I had reasons and I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but I'm sorry, it wasn't fair against you and I know it now. At the time I didn't realize you needed or even wanted us around. To assume that was a mistake and I'm really sorry Jason."
"I'm sorry too." Chris apologized sincerely. "I never realized you wanted us around. Especially since I was pretty tough on you the last couple of times."
"Honestly, I didn't mind you stepping in so much. Whereas for you not knowing I wanted you around, I didn't exactly think I had to ask."
"I feared for your safety long after we had caught him. The case made me somewhat paranoid that somebody could come after you and your brother because of me." King admitted. "Since Will was at college in another state the risk was lower for him than it was for you to be seen with us. I kept tabs on you through Will, your parents, and teachers. It was a way for me to be in the loop without putting you at risk. I thought I was doing the right thing but looking back I know I was in the wrong."
"After we put the creep away for life, I was in no shape to take care of you Jay." Chris explained. "I couldn't sleep and tried to drown the faces of his victims in beer. It wasn't a situation I wanted you brought into. I stand by that decision."
"I get that. What I don't get is what stopped you once you got through all that."
"It was almost a year before Chris, or I, would have been in any shape to bring you back into our lives. At that point you seemed to have moved on. As you pointed out earlier, we didn't spend that much time with you when Will still lived at home, so we took your grades and reports from your family as a sign that you were doing good, great even, without us."
"I wasn't."
"We're sorry kiddo. As I've said, we never meant to hurt you."
"I know." I sighed. "You did though, and it will take time for me to get passed that."
"We are aware." King said with a sad smile. "Just keep trying Buddy. We will give you all time you need, but this time from a much closer distance."
A/N: I hope you liked it! It may seem like they aren't getting anywhere but with the amount of hurt and anger Jay carried around I did want them re-entering his life to be a believable rollercoaster. There is more coming, both fluff and talks as well as punishments (they still haven't dealt with the underage drinking), so I hope you stick around! Please comment if you liked it, it means the world to me!
And a special thanks to the guest reviewer that keeps leaving comments encouraging me to write more!