V
Welcome to the Grand Illusion
Come on in and see what's happenin'
Pay the price, get your ticket for the show
The stage is set, the band starts playing
Suddenly your heart is pounding
Wishing secretly you were a star
But don't be fooled by
Radio, the TV or the Magazines
They show you photographs
Of how your life should be
But they're just someone else's fantasy
So if you think your life is complete confusion
'Cause you never win the game
Just remember that it's a Grand Illusion
And deep inside we're all the same
All the same..
So if you think your life is complete confusion
'Cause your neighbor's got it made
Just remember that it's a Grand Illusion
And deep inside we're all the same
America spells competition
Join us in our blind ambition
Get yourself a brand new motor car
Someday soon we'll stop to ponder
What on Earth's this spell we're under
We made the grade
Yet still we wonder who the hell we are...
Grand Illusion, Styx
Mid-January
Monica Warner hadn't told anyone. Not since she first got the news from her doctor in New York City. Not her daughters, not her friends in the area, not a soul. But with the latest news, she would have to let others know that she had breast cancer.
It seems the cancer had been caught in time. She had been going through radiation treatment that hadn't involved chemo, and it had some positive results. But the cancer was still there. Her physician had told her flat out the other day: get both your breasts removed, then if the cancer remains away, get reconstructive surgery.
Years ago, that would have been out of the question for Monica Warner. What? Take my breasts away? Here, just spend some money to fix it, but to have them removed? Never.
That was before her life had changed one July day while still living in France, and while Blair, Tootie and DC had been driving to Peekskill. That was another lifetime ago. This time, at this point in her life, she wanted to remain around to watch her grandkids keep growing and even-she still couldn't believe she was thinking this-and see Blair and Jo get married.
She made called Rose and Charlie one afternoon, asking them if she could watch DC and Gloria, as she needed to talk to Bailey, Blair, and Jo about something important. Rose hadn't asked for any information, and none was volunteered. Monica promised that she would fill both Rose and Charlie in later.
Blair and Jo had driven up to Peekskill. It was a miserable, snowy day, but Jo had taken her time driving north, then heading back to the southeast toward White Plains. They arrived mid-afternoon just as the snow started to taper for a while. More snow was coming in that evening.
Monica met all of them with a hug and a kiss for Blair and Bailey, and a hug for Jo. She had made grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup, and a steaming cup of hot chocolate for them when they had arrived. Like Blair, in the last few years, Monica had begun to cook-nothing fancy, but simple meals like this one that would hit the spot on a New York winter day.
After they had their fill, Blair and Bailey cleared the table.
"Thanks for lunch, Monica", Jo said with a smile. "It was a white-knuckle drive to Peekskill and then down to here. That really was delicious."
"You're welcome, Joanna", Monica said with her own smile. "Believe it or not, my mother made me these kinds of meals when I was young, especially during winter days like this. We had cooks and the like, but she would make it for everyone-cooks, cleaners, everyone working at the place. It's a good memory."
"Yeah, Ma makes a mean grilled cheese, too", Jo noted. "Believe it or not, I think your hot cocoa beats hers-but don't tell her that?"
Monica let out a genuine laugh, something she had done more and more since mortality had almost claimed Blair. "Your secret is safe with me, my dear."
A few moments later, Blair and Bailey were done with the dishes, and had joined the other two in the living room. Monica didn't waste any more time.
"I've called all three of you here for a specific reason." She took a breath, then continued. "In February, I started to feel pretty lousy, thought it was just a bug. But my lousiness continued into March. I set up an appointment to see my physician in Manhattan.
"The day before my appointment, I was taking a shower, and while washing I...I felt a lump on my right breast. A rather large lump. I was surprised I hadn't noticed before."
Both Bailey and Blair started to speak, but Monica raised a hand to keep them silent.
"I'm not finished yet. I went to the doctor the next day, had a mammogram done, along with some x-rays and CT Scans the following day, and I was found to have Stage Three breast cancer."
"Oh, Mother", Blair said, not able to help herself. Jo grabbed her partner's had to steady her.
"I've been undergoing non-chemo radiation treatments since July, and while it's done some good, it hasn't stopped the cancer. So Dr. Remmington is advising me to get a double mastectomy, then going through more radiation treatment, then early next year, if all goes well, look into reconstructive surgery.
Bailey wasn't simply a little girl any longer. She would soon be leaving Eastland. She knew the full weight of what her mother had told her.
"My God, Mother", she breathed, Blair grabbing her hand as Jo had grabbed Blair's. "All this time...you seemed fine, and...God."
"Are you going to have the surgery, Mother?"
Monica smiled at Blair, knowing Blair was thinking of the old Monica would would never consider such a thing years ago. "The surgery is on July 19th. I didn't hesitate."
"I'm so sorry, Monica", Jo whispered, not knowing what else to say. "What can I do to help you through this?"
Monica again looked at Jo in wonder. How did I so badly misread this woman for so long? "You just keep doing what you're doing, Joanna: being a great mother, and working like hell to see that you and Blair can one day get married."
It was the first time Monica had ever said that about Jo being a mother, and about her wanting to see she and Blair marry. Jo started to cry. "I can do that, Monica. Thank you for telling me that just now. You don't know what that means to me. But if there's anything else I can do, you better let me know."
Monica chuckled, as Blair looked proudly between her mother and her partner.
"Do you want to hire some help around here, while going through all this?" Blair looked earnestly at Monica. "If you want Jo and I to keep pushing in getting legislation passed, we can't be there all the time, Mother."
"I've looked into that already. I don't want more than a maid who can cook something decent, but I will probably do that."
"That means you'll be stuck with me at home during the summer", Bailey informed her mother with a broad grin, even though she was still stunned by the news.
"What do you mean? Weren't you planning to go out west with some of your..."
"Not now I'm not, Mother", Bailey corrected her. "There will be other summers. This summer, my job will be to help take care of you. Nothing else matters beyond that."
Monica teared up at that. She had come close to simply sending Bailey to Eastland, then having nothing to do with her after that, but now, she was so proud of the young lady she was growing into. She had worked hard to change who she was, but she also knew that Edna, Blair, and Jo had done a lot to help Bailey along the way.
"I can't possibly say no to that, my dear Bailey", Monica said, wiping tears from her cheek.
Jo glanced outside, noticing that the snow was falling even harder than it had been earlier. She looked around the table and smile. "Well Bailey, Blair, I don't think we'll be able to go anywhere for a while, so Monica, you're gonna have guests for dinner, and I'm gonna do the cookin'." The others laughed.
"That's sounds perfect", Monica insisted. "Spending the evening with my three favorite young ladies."
"Whose the third", Jo said with a goofy grin, Monica almost doubling over in laughter at the remark.
As they relaxed some more, not being able to do a thing about the snowstorm, Monica thought back to a song by one of her favorite groups in the 80's, Styx. I guess Dennis DeYoung was right in that song, Monica thought. In the end your money, your title, and how important you are doesn't matter. Inside, we're all the same.
Perhaps that was the best lesson that Jo Polniaczek had taught her over the years?
Finally getting back the next day to Jericho, Jo and Blair were pretty wiped out. While Blair played with DC and Gloria by watching TV in on of the guest bedrooms, Jo filled her parents in on the meeting with Monica.
"Oh, Lord have mercy", Rose said crossing herself. "Do you know if there's anything we can do for her, Jo?"
Jo shook her head. "The surgery isn't til July, and her doctor says she should be okay through that time. She said she was gonna call to fill you two in, but I told her before we left to let me handle it for now."
"I'm sure we can go up to White Plains and help her with shopping, or house cleaning if she needs it", Charlie offered. "I know, that ain't our offer to make", he added as Jo began to speak, "but I if she needs our help, she's got it."
Jo smiled proudly at her parents. "You know, for the first time, Monica actually said, and I quote a 'great mother', and that she wants to live to see the kids grow up and for Blair and I to get married."
"She said that?" Charlie still simply blurted things out from time to time.
"Yeah, she did, Pa", Jo said, mist in her eyes. "When we left, I gave her a hug and thanked her for those words. They meant a lot to me."
"It was only a matter of time until she saw what a wonderful person you are, Jo", Rose said with a smile, then frowned at past memories. "Remember, it took your own parents a while to see that as well."
Jo squeezed her mother's hand. "That's all water under the bridge, Ma", Jo said with a loving expression on her face. "You two have been there for me-have been there for both Blair and I, for a long time now. No need to bring that up."
"Although the media and the politicians love to bring it up", Charlie said with some lingering sadness.
"Yeah, but it seems like I have a penchant for getting under politicians skin, at least one from Iowa", Jo said with a crooked grin, making her parents laugh.
"You were just defending yourself and your family, Jo", Rose noted. "I was proud of you that day."
"Truth is we were both rolling on the floor laughing after watching that exchange", Charlie said, bursting into a laugh, the other two joining.
"It was pretty funny, wasn't it", Jo agreed.
When Blair emerged later with the kids, and they dressed them in their winter coat and boots, Rose and Charlie pulled Blair aside.
"I'm so sorry about your mother, Blair", Rose said, hugging Blair and kissing her on the cheek. "I hope she knows that we'll help her in anyway we can through this?"
"Thanks, mom", Blair said with tears in her eyes, the news still fresh in her mind. "And she knows that, she really does. Having you two here as a backstop..." Blair blushed. "Th...that didn't come out the way I meant."
Charlie put his arms around her. "No explanation needed, honey", he told her. "You know I was a catcher on the high school baseball team, so I'm used to being a backstop."
Blair laughed, giving him a hug back, but looking at Rose.
"He really was a catcher on the high school team, Blair", she said with a chuckle. "Why do you think his legs are so short?"
Now Blair almost doubled over in laughter, then hugged both of them with one arm. "I love the two of you so much. You always seem to know how to make me feel better."
"You're our daughter, Blair, no matter what any law says. We love you with all our hearts."
Blair squeezed Rose tightly, hoping that she had her own mother to squeeze in the future.