"Jeremy is so cute," Candace cooed as she swiped through photos of her boyfriend. "especially when he's in his Mr. Slushy Dog Uniform."
Linda walked up to her with a smile. "Candace, My jazz trio has a gig at the Squat 'n Stitch today. Why don't you, Phineas and Ferb hang out at the mall together?"
"The mall?" Candace gasped.
At that, the girl's eyes widened with excitement, and she hopped off the couch in a hurry to the door, phone in her hand. "I can visit Jeremy at Mr. Slushy Dog!"
At the mall, Linda stood on stage with her jazz crew in front of a knitting club. " Testing. Welcome everyone, uh, we'll be playing some free-formed jazz today. It might get a little crazy, so, hold on to those knitting needles." She dinged the triangle and grinned. "Hit it, girls!"
Candace turned to her three younger siblings, a dollar in her hand. " Alright, squirts. Here's your cut. I'll see you back here in 2 hours."
She turned to Penny and handed her an extra 10 dollar bill. "My treat."
"Thank you, Candace!" Penny gasped, happily receiving the ten dollar bill.
Candace rolled her eyes with a smile. "Yeah, yeah. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to Mr. Slushy Dog."
She walked off dreamily, and Penny, standing next to her siblings, looked up from her dollar bill and glanced around curiously. "Hey, where's Perry?"
After getting themselves some ice cream, Phineas and Ferb chose a table to sit on, and a second later, Penny joined in with a book she bought with her cut. "What are you guys doing?" Penny asked, curiously glancing at the boys staring anxiously at an ice cream cone.
"Wait for it..." Phineas mumbled, not looking from the cone.
A second later, the ice cream slipped from the cone, onto the table. Phineas grinned at his siblings. "Well, that was an interesting experiment."
"Excuse me, but why are you not studying?"
At that, the three kids turned to see Baljeet sitting beside Phineas, a book in his hand as well. Although, it was more of a book related to studying.
"It's summer vacation." Phineas explained. "You know, no school, and teachers aren't around, and all you have to worry about are bullies?"
Right as he said that, Buford, the school and neighborhood and everyday bully, stomped in and sat right on top of Baljeet, much to Penny's shock. She quickly put her book away before the bully could rip it apart...just like last time. The bully took his drink, sipped it, crumpled it, and tossed it at a random kid, who jolted away in fear.
Phineas frowned at Buford, eyeing the spot where Baljeet was being squished like a pancake. " Eh, Buford? That seat's kinda taken."
"This table's taken." Buford hissed. "Sit somewhere else."
Penny, nervously looking over Ferb's shoulder, squeaked out, "What about Baljeet?"
"Please go!" Baljeet's muffled cries was heard from underneath Buford. " You will just make him angry."
At that moment, the rest of Phineas's ice cream fell on top of Buford's pants. The boy let out a startled yelp and quickly stood up, and the ice cream melted to the floor. Everyone turned to them, and burst out laughing in Buford's situation. The bully seethed through his teeth, and lunged at the Flynn-Fletcher siblings, grabbing Phineas by his shirt, raising his fist threateningly.
"This is gonna hurt."
"HEY! PUT HIM DOWN!"
The boys glanced around to see Isabella standing there, glaring at Buford. Penny narrowed her eyes and stomped up to him. "LET GO OF MY BROTHER!"
"Do as they say!" Baljeet gasped from behind Buford. The bully grabbed Baljeet from his behind and set him down on his feet. Baljeet gasped out for a sec, and turned to prove his point. "Violence can only lead to more violence."
Buford smirked and turned to Phineas, narrowing his eyes and raising his fist. "Sounds good to me!"
"HOLD IT!"
At that exclamation, everyone turned to a familiar looking man walking towards them. Isabella gasped in surprise. "World heavyweight boxing champion Evander Holyfield?"
Phineas glanced over Buford's shoulder curiously at the man. "Aren't you a little old to be a professional boxer?"
Evander smiled at them. "Yes, yes I am."
"Cool!" Phineas grinned after considering things a few moments.
" If you have to fight, do it time-honored way, out behind the mall at 3:00." Evander said.
Phineas glanced over at Penny and Ferb. "Hey, guys, How's our 3:00?"
Ferb flipped through the book and shot Phineas a thumbs up. Pleased, Phineas turned to Evander with a smile. "We'll be there!"
Buford dropped Phineas, and Penny hurried over to her big brother, glaring at Buford as he spoke. "Don't be late. My mom's pickin' me up at 4:00."
Once Buford walked off, Phineas grinned. "It looks like we found something to do today."
Baljeet turned to Phineas as if the boy was crazy. "What you have found is a One-way magic carpet ride to your own destruction."
"He's right!" Isabella gasped, glancing worriedly at Phineas. " Remember what happened to the last kid Buford fought?"
Penny shuddered at that memory... a neighborhood kid insulted Buford about something, and the next second later, he found himself standing in the bathroom, dripping wet with a toilet over his head, yelling, " You win this round, Buford!"
"Phineas, are you sure about that?" Penny gulped worriedly. "I don't want that sort of thing happening to you!"
Evander put a hand on the girl's shoulder reassuringly. "It won't, 'cause I'm gonna train him."
Penny raised her eyes at him. "What sort of training do you have in mind?"
Evander took them around the mall, training Phineas in different areas that matched the young boy's strength. And soon enough, it was nearly 3:00, and the group started getting ready for the brawl.
Milly began handing out fliers to the people. "Here you go, Brawl at the mall. 3:00, Brawl at the mall."
Candace glared at the flier she received. "The "Brawl at the mall"?" Her glare deepened and she ran out to the mall parking lot, where the kids were building a boxing ring. She glared at them. "What do you three think you're doing? You can't just go building a boxing ring out here in the parking lot! I'm telling Mom right now!"
She hurried back into the mall, catching another photo of Jeremy as she did. The girl stomped all the way up to her mom's Jazz club and poked her head through the curtain, speaking in a low whisper. " Mom, Phineas, Penny, and Ferb are at it again!"
"Not now, Candace. Oh, My solo!" Linda chuckled as she dinged her triangle, and Candace narrowed her eyes.
"Oh, I need proof. The flyer!"
Penny stood next to Ferb, anxiously watching Phineas as he stood, waiting for his name to be announced.
" L-llll-ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! He's from a broken home, his hobby is breaking bones, Buford the Bully-yyyy! A-aaaa-and in this corner, he's got moves, he's got grace, his nose takes up his entire face, Fabulous Phinea-aaaa-as Flynn!"
"Good luck, bro." Penny whispered, her face showing worry. Phineas smiled at her reassuringly with a mouthed "thank you" and walked up to the ring, standing next to Buford. The announcer leaned in towards them.
"Okay, boys. Let's have a fair and square fight, and in no way should this ensuing fight contain the image of a potentially harmful, hurtful, or psychologically disturbing act, that could be found imitable by an impressionable child viewer."
"Awww!" Buford complained.
The announcer stood up and turned back to the crowd. "Boys and Girls, l-llll-let's get r-rr-ready to Thumb Wrestl-llll-le!"
The boys got to the thumb wrestle box and stuck their thumbs through the holes.
In the mall, Candace tried to get every information and proof she could get about the brawl, but everything was sold out.
" Sorry, we're out of flyers." Holly said apologetically.
"Poster?" Candace tried.
"Nope."
"Action figures?"
"Sold out."
"Commemorative coin?"
"All gone."
"8 x 10 glossy photo?!"
"Those sold like hot cakes."
At hearing herself speak the word "photo," Candace's expression lit up like a million of stars. " Photo! Yes! Photographic evidence!"
She was about to snap another photo of Jeremy, who was surprisingly and talentedly balancing cups and slushy dogs on his arms, legs, nose, and hat, smiling at her hopefully. Candace glanced at her phone and cringed.
99% full.
She let out a frustrated grunt and left, and Jeremy lowered his pose in disappointment.
"1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war!"
Back in the thumb war ring, Penny clenched her fists anxiously, watching their every move.
"The fighters spring to life, they're squaring up to each other, YOW! Flynn hits the mat! Buford gots him where he wants him, and look, and oh! Into the turnbuckle! Clothesline! That can't feel good! Hold onto your seats folks, this one's gonna be brutal!"
And at that, the crowd responded, "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh..."
During break time, Penny hurriedly gave Phineas some water. As he drank, he glanced up at Evander tiredly. " I don't think this is going so well."
" Nonsense, kid." Evander said encouragingly. "Go for the gold! Fight fire with fire! Aw, shoot. Shoot him the stink-eye! Uh, Grease the pig! Ah, I got nothing."
Penny gave him a small glare. "Not helping."
Evander chuckled, looking away and scratching his head sheepishly. He pushed Phineas back into the ring, and the boy restarted the match with Buford.
"Buford is climbing the turnbuckles! He's on the top rope! Oh! The dreaded Boston belt sander!"
Candace grinned happily as she hurried into the mall, photographic evidence in her hands. "MOM! Finally, indisputable photographic evidence of dangerous and irresponsible behavior!"
Linda took a look at the photo and frowned. "Candace, this is your thumb in front of the lens."
Candace took one look at the screen and screamed in annoyance. She clutched her fist and dragged her mom out with her. "Oh...you are coming with me!"
The song "It's Going Badly" played in the background as Buford pushed Phineas's thumb roughly and painfully through the little hole, and Penny winced, burying her face in Ferb's shoulder while he wrapped an arm around her reassuringly. The announcer gasped as Phineas was pulled right through the wood of the box, throwing him right at the corner of the ring.
"No! Oh, the humanity! Flynn falls hard! The crowd's on its feet! It's over! It's all over!"
Penny hid her face in Ferb's shoulder while the Evander and Announcer sobbed. Buford was about to lay the finishing touch on Phineas when...
SPLAT.
Penny glanced up, her eyes slightly red from crying. Ice cream was dripping from Phineas's head while Buford was grinning happily. "Ice cream fell on you! Now we're both humiliated in public!"
He held out his hand to the boy. "Whaddya say? Even Steven?"
Phineas smiled, pushed himself up, and shook Buford's hand. "Sure Buford. Even Steven."
A huge machine fell into the boxing ring, huge words "CLEAN UP PARTY MESS" spread on its features, and suddenly the crowds' eyes went wide, and they started murmuring among themselves.
" Hey, I have a strange urge to clean up this mess..."
"Me too..."
"Let's do it..."
" I'll take care of the whale..."
After that crazy fight, the kids stood outside with each other, eating store bought cookies with the rest of the cut Candace gave them. Buford turned to them with a grin. "Thank you, Mr. Holyfield."
Phineas nodded at Evander. " Yeah. Wouldn't have been real without you."
Evander nodded with a smile. "Happy to help you boys find a slightly less valid way to settle your differences."
Perry walked up, chattering softly. Phineas glanced down at their pet platypus with a smile. "There you are, Perry."
The door slammed open, and everyone turned to see Candace dragging Linda out with a cheeky grin on her face. "See?!"
Phineas waved to Linda. "Hi, Mom!"
Linda smiled, waving back at them. "Hi, boys!" She glared sternly at Candace. " If you'll excuse me, Candace, I'm gonna get back for the second set." She walked off into the mall, leaving Candace stunned. The girl squeaked, and then fainted.
Penny shrugged and turned her attention back to the boys. Buford smiled at them. "Hey, Dinnerbell, that was the best battle ever. Same thing tomorrow?"
Phineas shook his head with a smile. "Nah. I like to keep moving forward."
Ferb glanced up at them. "Sharks have to continue to move forward, or they'll drown."
At that remark, Buford turned to Ferb angrily. " You calling me a shark?!" He was about to punch Ferb, but the boy quickly did a Vulcan style nerve pinch on him, and Buford let out a strangled yell and fainted.
Phineas and Penny both stared at Ferb with wide eyes. "FERB!"
Ferb turned to them. "Well, he was all up on my face."
Buford glanced up for a second with a groan. "What happened?!"
NEXT CHAPTER: CANDACE LOSES HER HEAD