A reconciliation based on Adele's "I Miss You."
Let me fall into your gravity
Then kiss me back to life to see
Your body standing over me
Pull me in, hold me tight
Don't let go, baby, give me light
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight
Don't let go, baby, give me light
Sex between Callie and Arizona had always been an art form. It was an erotic dance. A rhythm, a movement, a ballad of moans. It had always been both enchanting and intoxicating.
Callie generously reminded Arizona of just how all-consuming she could be.
Callie. Her smell. Her shape. Her soulful eyes, her silky hair, her confident stance.
It was a chemical attraction. It was physical. Mental. Emotional. All thingal.
Every beat of Arizona's heart was Callie's. Every one of her breaths was Callie's.
Callie. With her eyes so dark that Arizona was pulled into the Earth's core. With her eyes so dark that Arizona was flung into space.
She felt two naked breasts against her back, nimble fingers threading through her hair, a torturously sensual hand re-exploring her every curve.
Those hands cupping her breasts, touching her lips, feeling her hair, caressing her taut abdomen, and stroking her thighs with curiosity and anticipation.
Arizona. Throwing her arms around Callie, desperately latching her lips onto a welcoming breast, a strong neck, and plump lips. But never, ever holding hands.
Who was her touch for? For Callie, certainly. But whose was Callie's for? For Arizona?
The rhythm, the movement, the ballad of moans, the momentum towards one another.
Callie. Setting a forest ablaze in Arizona's body, in her mind, and in her heart.
Callie curved towards her, and they fit together perfectly. They each knew when to arch and when to bend. They knew the pace of the song. They knew the style of dance. They remembered the choreography. And they improvised. They knew each other's desires, exactly what they liked, exactly what drove them to the edge.
Arizona. Wrapping herself against Callie. Feeling their breasts meld together. Feeling Callie's curves complement her own.
Each touch enhanced Arizona's craving. She was voracious, and nothing could fill her but the taste of caramel. She was voracious, and she felt herself feasting on Callie's eyes, ears, and hands. On the sight, sound, and feel of her. Arizona delighted in touching her. She never wanted to stop.
Her mind hungered for more. For conversations. For breakfasts. For late nights out and boring nights in. For not sleeping at all and sleeping at seven p.m., making cocoons out of only each other.
Callie. Using those capable fingers and reveling in Arizona's touch, teasing her with the purest communication, sending signals straight to her heart.
Callie. Touching Arizona back. Callie. Electric.
Arizona. Feeling the movement of Callie's lips, the warmth of her mouth, her capable tongue. Feeling the wetness, on her and in her. Feeling just how much Callie needed her, and just how much she responded to her touch.
Callie. Tasting Arizona's hunger for her. Devouring her in return. Feeling that sense of emptiness when she pulled her mouth away, gasping for much-needed air.
Callie. Caressing her, exploring her, soaking up every part of her. Wanting to be passive and wanting to dominate.
Arizona. Shuddering at the intensity. Shuddering at Callie's mouth on her. Shuddering at Callie's warm wetness on her, at knowing that she caused it. Basking in the thrill of it.
Arizona. Feeling every limb become pain-free. Feeling Callie worship her. Knowing she should stop, knowing she should put a stop to it to avoid inevitable pain, but her body refusing to move away.
Callie. Taking control and then relinquishing it. Taking it back and then giving it back again. Feeling Arizona's nipples standing up to her touch. Sucking hard on each breast. Feeling Arizona arching towards her. Offering more. Begging for her to take.
Arizona. Reveling in pure sensation.
Sucking Callie. Touching Callie. Putting on more pressure, then more. Letting her wandering tongue explore. Smiling at the thrust of tanned hips. Lingering at each sweet spot that always used to drive her crazy.
Callie. Begging for more. Demanding. Groaning at the slick wetness rubbing against her, at her, on her, in her.
Moving onto her, moving into her, moving against her. Never stilling her movements for long enough to think.
Thrusting against Arizona. Knowing exactly what she liked.
The rhythm, the movement, the ballad of moans, the momentum towards one another, the chaos and the order.
Arizona. Feeling her clitoris pound, her ears ring, her body vibrate. Wanting more. Listening to Callie's sounds of desire excite her further.
Sucking, stroking. Sucking, stroking.
Rubbing, tugging, gyrating, coming.
Callie. Wild with desire. Wild with…
Satiation.
Callie. Teasing and tantalizing. Memorizing every minute detail, just in case it was the last time.
Arizona. Feeling her desire explode. Murmuring soft words — neither woman knowing what.
Arizona. Feeling pleasure beyond thought. Feeling herself surrender to it. Moaning. Her body convulsing. Getting the urge to both sing and sob.
Callie. Rubbing against her, over and over.
Arizona. Matching her rhythm.
Callie. Quickening her cadence. Crying out. Falling against Arizona's body.
Arizona: following. Only seconds behind.
Callie. Turning over. Pressing her skin against Arizona's whole body. Cradling her. Turning to liquid, melting against her. Wrapping an arm around her stomach.
Arizona. Falling into Callie's gravity.
Arizona. Thinking. Realizing.
Turning to stone.
"Don't," Arizona pleaded. It was so quiet, that Callie wasn't entirely certain she'd heard correctly.
Callie positioned her elbow on the on-call room's thin pillow, supporting her head in her hand. Hesitantly, she lifted her other hand from silky white skin. "What?"
Arizona closed her eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to escape. All she wanted was for Callie to pull her in, to hold her tight, to not let go. But the desire was futile.
Callie had wanted to have sex with her. Nothing more. So Arizona couldn't allow for the intimacy that came after. She couldn't lie with Callie, feeling her strong arms surround her.
It was too much. The way her ex-wife seemed to seep into her every groove. And how, in reality, they were living worlds apart. It was too much. And, if Arizona felt Callie envelop her in her arms one more time, it would take another two years to recover. It would take a lifetime to forget the perfectly flawless feeling.
It would only make things harder.
Callie's eyes remained fixed on Arizona's face, stubbornly waiting for more words.
Arizona exhaled a long breath, exhaling, "Just…don't." She couldn't bear Callie cradling her body, molding against her. Not when she was so desperate for her.
Callie knit her eyebrows together, forcing Arizona to face her. "Don't what?"
Wet blue eyes met cautious browns. And with the softest, most terrified, most vulnerable voice, Arizona pleaded, "Don't do this. Don't hold me. Please."
Callie felt her stomach drop. She felt a lump form in her throat. Was she really so awful? Had the sex really been so unbearably bad for Arizona? Because, for Callie, it had been incredible.
"Why?" she courageously pressed, wanting to hear Arizona's thoughts. Wanting to avoid misunderstanding, like those that had so often plagued them in the past.
A hopeless tear cascaded down a pink cheek. Again, barely audibly, she confessed, "It'll just make me want you more." Arizona wanted every single piece of her. "And miss you," she continued. Arizona missed Callie constantly. Morning, noon, and night. When she turned on the lights in the morning and when they went out at night.
She ached for Callie to touch her. Not the way she had minutes before — not with an aim at sex — but intimately. Gently. Purely. Holding her for the sake of holding her and nothing more.
And, at the same time, she acknowledged that she didn't want to be touched. She didn't want to be touched because she craved it too much.
She knew that she might shatter without it. She might shatter with it, too.
Either way, Callie's arms around her would bring such torture later on, when they snaked off her body, ready to wrap around some other man or woman.
It would be torturous when Callie left. Again.
Finally, having processed Arizona's words — having understood them — Callie worked up the strength to reply. "It's okay to miss me."
"No, it's not," Arizona choked out, attempting to laugh but feeling her voice catch with a sob. "It's…not. Okay," she defended between wet breaths.
"It is," Callie insisted. "I want you to want me. Because I want you." All she wanted was for Arizona to pull her in, to hold her tight, to not let go. All she did was miss Arizona. And she wanted was for Arizona to miss and want her, too.
Arizona responded to those words. She turned to face Callie, feeling her naked breasts brush against those of the woman she loved. She knit her eyebrows together, watching Callie intently.
Bravely, Callie continued. "I know this was just a…hookup. I mean, exes slip up all the time. But I don't want this to be a slip up between us. I want more. I want you."
Arizona's eyes bulged. Those hadn't been the words she'd been expecting. She'd thought she'd been alone in the missing and the wanting. And the pining. She'd thought Callie had moved on, while she herself had stayed in love. She'd thought Callie had been done. She'd thought Callie had wanted her for a booty call — nothing more.
"I'm tired of living worlds apart. I miss you, Arizona. And as good as this was," she motioned to their naked bodies. "It'd be better if we got everything else, too. It'd be better if I got to love you the way I want to. With all of me. All the time."
"Me, too," Arizona whispered in relief, moving in closer. Burrowing herself in Callie's safety. Finding safety in her, again. "I already love you with all of me. I never stopped. But I want to be able to tell you."
"You can," Callie breathed, bringing her hand up to tuck a lock of blonde hair behind Arizona's ear.
"We've changed, Callie." It was true. They had.
"I'm glad we did," Callie countered. "I learned a lot. About love." Her thumb gently stroked a soft cheek. "About how to love you better. This time."
Arizona nodded, hesitantly — but also, somehow, instinctually — bringing her hand to trail down Callie's waist.
Arizona: "I want this to be the last time."
Callie: "It will be. No one has me like you do. I'm yours."