Dog and Warner Show

by HuskyHeroine

Dog and Warner Show is a lot. It's dramedy emphasis on the "edy", it's down-to-earth yet ridiculous. Most of all, it's a story. A story about a lonely little dog who takes a job as a security guard at a movie studio and has her entire life changed forever. It's a story about people trying to find their place in the world. It's also REALLY stupid, and I think that's beautiful too.

5. Girlz Night

May 9th 2017

2:24AM

"Calm down Dot, we'll only be gone like an hour, tops." Yakko chuckled

Dot looked up from the magazine she was reading. "What are you talking about? I'm fine, you're the one crying."

Yakko wiped the tears from his eyes. "I KNOW." His voice cracked. " I'M GONNA MISS YOU."

"Oh geez." She got up off the couch and hugged Yakko. "Just be careful Yakko, and don't let Wakko eat all the food before you get it back here alright?"

"Ok." He sniffed and tried to recompose himself. "Let's go Wakko! We're burning nighttime."

"No." Wakko responded.

"E-Excuse?"

He pouted. "If you won't let me eat the food I'm not coming."

Yakko sighed. "Ok. I'll let you eat SOME of it Wakko. Happy?"

"YES!" He quickly joined his brother's side.

Yakko opened the door to The Water Tower and the two stepped outside.

Yakko leaned his head back in.

"Love you sis!"

Dot smiled at him. "I love you too!"

Yakko closed the door gently and left.

The second the door was closed Dot frowned and threw the magazine aside.

"UGHHHHHH, I'm bored. If I don't find someone to talk to right now, I'm gonna lose it. Who's even up this late?"

She thought for a moment and a lightbulb appeared over her head and a grin spread across her face. "I'VE GOT IT."

Ari flipped the floppy disc around in her hand as she sat in the office, also bored out of her mind. Earl was sleeping as usual so she assumed it was gonna be another quiet night in. She looked out the window and thought about what could possibly be on the disc, cause it obviously wasn't a learning program if it was locked away like it was.

'Maybe some super destructive computer virus? The Studio's other deep dark secrets? Nuclear Launch Codes? The reason Trump's Twitter account hasn't been deactivated yet? The Snyder Cut?! POR-'

Her train of thought was promptly derailed when she saw Dot wave to her from the other side of the window.

Dot grabbed some spray cans and wrote "HEYYY!" in big bold colorful letters on the side of the building across from Ari.

Ari looked behind her to see if Earl noticed. Nope. He was still out cold. So she grabbed her equipment and reluctantly headed out there herself.

"Ok so first of all, I hope that paint is washable cause if not we're gonna have an issue, second of all-"

"Well, good evening to you too Ari!" Dot interrupted. "I wanna talk."

"Well, unless you can tell me what's on this disc, I don't think we have a lot to talk about."

"Oooh let me see it!" Dot said excitedly.

"Oh, uh, ok!"

Ari handed the disc to Dot and she almost immediately chucked it away.

Ari's mouth gaped. "Hey! NOT COOL."

"Who cares about a dumb old disc!" Dot yelled. "We have more important things to talk about!"

"I care!" Ari said, pointing at herself. "I care about the dumb old disc!" She ran off to find it. When she came back Dot was still standing there.

She crossed her arms. "Are you happy? Happy you got your stupid disc?"

Ari smiled. "Yes, yes I am. What did you want to talk about?"

Dot looked around. "We can't talk here, we need privacy! Away from prying, robotic eyes."

"Y-you mean cameras?"

"No, I meant Earl."

"Oh, ok. Well, the auditorium is always open." Ari suggested

Dot gagged. "Yuck, I don't want to go back to that place. It's gross and smells weird, like Wakko. Let's go to the tower!"

"W-What, you mean the Water Tower? Like, where you guys live?"

"Uh-huh!" Dot nodded her head.

Ari scoffed. "You must be joking. It's bad enough I let you guys hang out here! I can't go in there!"

"B-but, well, you see…" She looked down at the floor. "H-here's the thing, Ari." She summoned her mallet, looked up, and smiled. "I wasn't asking."

Ari's heart sank and she backed up a few inches. "Whoa, ok now hold on a minute-"

Ari's pleas went unanswered, Dot was already in motion. In one fell swoop, she slammed her mallet into Ari's skull, knocking her out cold instantly.

---

It was dark, but Ari could still hear it. The train. She knew it was there. Speeding along the track. What would happen if she touched it? She saw its light as it blasted through the tunnel towards her. She reached her hand out as it approached her, it did not attempt to slow down. It did not attempt to acknowledge her. All it did, was blow its whistle.

---

Ari jolted awake. She was sitting at a table. Her hands weren't tied to anything this time, but her head certainly hurt when she moved it. The room she was in was unfamiliar, but it looked relatively nice. On the table were a few cups, a kettle, and a couple of plates with nothing on them.

"OH FINALLY." Dot exclaimed and took a sip of her tea from the other side of the table. "Jeez, If I'd known it would take you this long to wake up I would have just dragged you here while you were still awake."

Ari held her head and tried to gain her bearings. "W-Where am I?"

"In the tower of course! I forgot to ask, but are you a big tea fan?"

"Uhhh, n-not really?" Ari said hesitantly.

"Oh please don't tell me you're a coffee drinker. I tried drinking coffee once and it made SICK. At least, that's what Yakko told me. I don't remember much from that night now that I'm thinking about it.."

"Uh-huh, cool anyways can I leave now?" Ari said quickly.

"What?! But you just got here!" Dot whined. "Can you just talk with me for like five minutes? Pleeease?"

"I talk to you guys enough as it is."

"But this is different!"

Ari cocked her head to the side. "How so?"

"Because! This is..." Dot waved her hands in the air and sparkles rained down. "Girl talk!"

Ari blinked. "...Ok but like, what does that mean?"

"Oh. Um, I don't know, I've never done it! But I see it in TV shows and movies and stuff so it must be different! Isn't that exciting?!"

"Sure…" Ari took a sip of her tea and stuck her tongue out in disgust.

The two of them sat in awkward silence. Neither of them saying a word for almost a full minute before Ari decided to speak again.

"Ok so what do we like, gossip? Talk about boys or something?"

"AH YES, BOYS, GOOD IDEA." Dot said, almost stepping over Ari's words. "So." She tapped her fingers on the table anxiously. "Who are you into right now?"

Ari nearly choked on her awful tea."E-excuse me?"

"I'll tell you who I'm into!"

"I would really prefer if you didn't-"

"Oh my god ok so don't judge me but, I'm really into Tom Holland right now."

"T-The spiderman guy?"

"YES. He's the only one I can even look at! The other two were so ugly, Ok maybe not Andrew Garfield but Toby? Ew. Tom is the cutest though, and one day, he will be mine. Forever!" She chuckled mischievously.

Ari stifled a laugh. "Yeah ok, good luck with that, 8-year-old."

Dot pouted. "Yeah, well a girl can dream Ari! What about you?"

"I am not going to talk about my celebrity crushes with a CHILD."

Dot groaned. "Ugh, you're no fun! Come on, at least tell me one!"

Ari took another sip of her tea. "Ugh, why am I still drinking this?!"

"Don't change the subject!"

"No seriously, I need to stop drinking this. Do you have like, water or something?"

Dot sighed. "Behind you, on the left, there's water in the tap."

Ari got out of her seat and walked to the kitchen. 'Well yeah, I'd hope so. It is a water tower!" She chuckled to herself.

When Ari returned to her table, Dot had her clipboard out.

"Hey, what's that?" Ari asked.

"Mental notes." Dot responded.

"Shouldn't mental notes be...in your head?"

"Nothing else will fit in there!" She said, tapping her head with a pen. "So I have to write everything down so I remember it. Did you know that when you get angry your right ear twitches twice?"

Ari tilted her head to the side. "H-how do you even know that?"

"You get angry a looooot! Also, I'm good at observing things." Dot smiled.

"That is so weird."

"Not as weird as that thing you do with your hand when you get nervous, what even is that?"

"OK." Ari cut in. "Can we stop talking about me?"

"No actually." Dot clicked her pen. "Tell me about yourself, Ari, what's your story? Why are you here?"

Ari smirked. "What are you, a talent scout?"

"No, just curious!"

"I'm uh...not good at talking about myself." Ari admitted hesitantly.

"Well try your best! Also, I'm not letting you leave until you do."

"And what makes you think you can dictate that?"

A smug grin spread across Dot's face. "You want to meet Ms. Audrey again? She said you were very nice, I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT." Ari exclaimed nervously. "Fine. Where do you want me to start?"

"Wherever you feel comfortable. I know shorthand."

Ari took a deep breath. "Alright, so I'm Ari."

"Last name?"

"I thought you little thieves swiped my file, you should know!"

"I was just asking, geez, so touchy!" Dot scribbled some stuff down. "Keep going."

"I'm 19, I-I uh, I grew up in Kansas City, Kansas, the less cool Kansas City. I moved here about 3 months ago and now we're here."

"Why did you move here?"

Ari didn't respond.

Dot waved a hand in front of Ari's face. "Uhh, hello? Did you hear me?"

"Yeah yeah, I heard you, I just…"

"Just what?" Dot pressed.

"Don't laugh but I uh… I moved here to try and make it as a musician." She mumbled into her cup.

"What's wrong with that?" Dot asked. "Seems like a good reason to me, the music scene here is HUGE!"

Ari sighed. "But that's just it, it's hard to break into that scene. Especially when you're an outsider with barely a presence in the industry beforehand, no real connections, barely any followers on social media, and more demos than actual finished songs. So…"

"So you didn't." Dot said, finishing her sentence.

"I couldn't make the cut so they told me to go home, but I spent most of my money just to get here in the first place. So I had no choice but to stay. Even if I did go home, I'd be proving my parents right about, well, everything. So I found a job that paid at least somewhat decently, found a cheap apartment, and that was that. At least, that's the short version. The long version is more complicated and less indie movie worthy."

"I feel ya sister, you do anything else?" Dot poured herself some more tea.

"I draw a little?"

"Ooooo! Can I see?!"

"Heck no, are you kidding me?"

"Aw come on! I don't judge! Sometimes."

"Never. Anyways, your turn." Ari said.

"Who me?" Dot said in mock surprise.

"Yeah you! What's your story? You guys failed movie stars or something?"

"We aren't 'failed'! We got fired after FIVE seasons and a movie, but we're getting ahead of ourselves here."

"What do you mean?"

"We haven't been properly introduced!"

"Isn't it a little late for th-"

Dot cleared her throat, interrupting Ari. "My name is Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca III but you can call me Dot, I'm 10, or 9 depending on how I'm feeling that day, I'm an actress, singer, songwriter, professional slam poetry poet, makeup artist and practicing psychiatrist as of 2 weeks ago, I was nominated 'Cutest Cartoon Character Of The Year' 12 years in a row, my songs are better than Yakko's, don't let him lie to you, I'm wanted in 7, no wait, 8 states, including this one, or was it 18, I don't remember, oh and one more thing! If you call me Dottie you will die and they'll never find your body, I'll make sure of it." She smiled and took another sip of her tea.

Ari leaned back in her chair, speechless, with an expression that looked like she was about to be hit by a truck and just realized it a second before it happened.

"Anything else you wanna know?" Dot asked. "I can keep going!"

"NO NO NO." Ari exclaimed. "I THINK I GOT IT THANKS." She exhaled. "Jeez, you sure are accomplished for a little girl."

"Yakko says I'm 'aggressively over-ambitious'. I say, what's wrong with having dreams and drive?"

"Yeah, I agree. With you that is, I think having dreams is great!"

"Yep!"

"Uh-huh…"

"Yeah!"

"yea…"

"Yes!"

"r-right…"

"Affirmative!"

"Ok, you stop doing that." Ari sighed.

"What? I thought we were playing a game? Am I winning? Don't get mad at me cause I'm better at word games than you."

Ari sighed again. "OK, ANYWAYS...I have a question."

Dot grinned. "Ask it! I love questions! That's why I ask you so many."

"Why did you guys get fired? They get tired of you guys breaking stuff and cut their losses?"

"Haha." Dot laughed sarcastically. "Not really. Yakko told me it's cause we were always too good for them, and they couldn't handle us at our best, so they gave us their worst. I think they just thought we weren't bringing in enough money for them anymore, so they moved on to something that would and left us behind."

"Yeah, that sounds about right. Corporations don't care about anything else." Ari said plainly. "How'd you kids even get a show in the first place?"

"Well, it was either that, or we burn the studio to the ground. After what they put us through." Her voice cracked slightly.

Ari sipped her water awkwardly. " Oh. Uh...Care to explain what you mean by that?"

Dot looked down at the floor and went quiet for a few moments before speaking again, when she did, her voice was much quieter. "I-I don't want to."

"Oh...ok. Sorry."

"...Can I ask you a question, Ari?" Dot asked, still in a quiet voice.

"Sure Dot, I mean you already have been."

She looked back up at Ari. "Ok. Do you find it hard to trust people?"

Ari looked away nervously. "Uh...y-yeah I guess?"

"Why?"

"W-well I mean… people are weird, and bad sometimes, why are you asking me this?"

"You seem like someone who would have deep-seated trust issues." Dot said bluntly.

Ari looked genuinely shocked. "Oh yeah? What makes you say that?"

"I have trust issues too! I was going to say that was something we have in common! In fact, don't tell the boys I told you, but they have trust issues too, especially Yakko!"

Ari shuffled in her seat. "Did you like, trick me into doing a therapy session, cause this is starting to feel like a therapy session."

"Hmm, maybe it is. Should I be charging you for this?" She said jokingly.

"ACTUALLY, PRETEND I DIDN'T SAY THAT." Ari said quickly.

"Oh. Alright..." She smiled coyly.

"Ok." Ari looked at her watch. "Are you done with your little Q&A yet?"

"Hmm," Dot thought. "I want to try one more thing!"

She grabbed a mirror and put it up to Ari.

"What do you see when you look in the mirror Ari?"

"Uhhh, ugly. No, I'm just kidding, kind of. I-I see myself. Of course."

"Is that all?" Dot pressed.

"A-am I supposed to see something else?"

"I guess not, but I was asking because I wanted to know if this is who you want to be."

Ari stared into the mirror. "Is there something wrong with that? Being who I am? You implying I should change something?"

Dot scoffed. "No, no, of course not! Unless you think you need to."

"Phew, good. Cause change is scary and hard." Ari said half-jokingly.

"Ha! Don't I know it! I mean, I've had to change so much myself you wouldn't beliv-" Dot cut herself off and quickly put her hands over her mouth, dropping the mirror to the floor and letting it shatter in the process.

Ari looked at her, puzzled. "Um…care to elaborate on that?"

Dot smacked her hands on the table and laughed nervously. "HAHA...WELL...YKNOW...WHAT I MEAN IS I HAD TO UH...CHANGE A LOT FOR THE SHOW! YOU KNOW EXECUTIVES WITH ALL THEIR RULES AND REGULATIONS AND BLAH BLAH BLAH. SO MUCH TO REMEMBER." She said anxiously.

Ari squinted her eyes. "Uh-huh…well I can imagine so. It must have been a hard transition."

Dot spit her tea. "Excuse me?!"

"I MEAN UH. It must have been a hard transition from being wherever you were to being on television. Especially at such a young age. I hear that child actors often have it rough." Ari hastily clarified.

"OH! Yes! It was...difficult, for a while. It took a while to get used to...everything, but I figured it out! Yakko always said I was a bad actor but I think I really came into my own after a while."

"Was it scary?"

"Oh yeah, really scary, but I'm tougher than I look! Once I established myself, I made sure no one EVER messed with me. I guess having my brothers to back me up helped a lot too."

"That's nice. Always good to have a support system."

"Uh-huh." Dot took her plate, which was still empty, dipped it in her tea, and took a bite out of it. "So, what about yours?" She asked.

"My what? Also, are you ok? You literally just ate glass." Ari asked.

"Your 'transition'. Also, it was ceramic, not glass."

Ari gasped. "H-how did you..."

"I mean, surely it must have been hard moving all the way from Kansas to California. That's a long way from home!" She said with a wink.

"Ahh." Ari nodded in acknowledgment. "Yeah...it was really hard for me. My parents didn't want me to, but I felt like I just...had to. Y'know? Kansas is boring. Like, REALLY boring. There's nothing for me there. I was just starting to figure out what I wanted to do. Figure out who I was and who I wanted to be."

"Having second thoughts?" Dot asked.

Ari shook her head. "Not really. I thought I had it all figured out but things aren't turning out the way that I wanted them to. I mean, I'm getting by but I'm just so impatient, I want everything to happen NOW, NOW, NOW, but it doesn't work that way. You're lucky, you have a support group. I ain't got nothing out here, except my friends, but they're all online and can't be here with me when I need them..." Ari's words trailed off and she looked over at the wall.

"Are you ok?" Dot asked.

"I-I'm sorry." Ari said quietly. "I have no idea why I'm telling you all this."

"I asked."

"I know but." She sniffed. "N-nevermind."

The two of them sat in silence for a minute, just stewing in their own thoughts. Dot broke the silence this time.

"I want to ask you the same question again."

Ari looked up at her. "Which question?"

Dot picked up a shard of glass from the broken mirror and held it up to Ari. "Is this who you want to be?"

Ari looked at herself in the shard. She stared into her own eyes and they stared back. Tears started to form but she quickly wiped them away.

"Not yet." She replied.

"Hmm." Dot wrote something on her clipboard. "Well, what do you need to do?"

Ari sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Let's see, I hate my voice. I wish it sounded more like yours honestly."

"Huh. I'm not really sure I can help you with that." Dot admitted. "My voice has been the same for like, forever, so I didn't need to change that."

Ari nodded, Her eyes wandered for a bit and just so happened to land on something sitting in the corner of the room.

"Hey, what's that?" She said, pointing at it.

Dot looked in that direction and grimaced. "Oooh, that's my guitar."

Ari got up from her seat and went over to take a look at it. She picked it up, it had accumulated quite a bit of dust on it but besides that, it looked practically brand new. The body of the guitar was shaped like a cat. It had eyes, a little mouth, and some cute little whiskers on it. The whammy bar even had a little paw on the end of it. To top it off, the whole thing was bright pink and covered in so much glitter that Ari immediately got it all over her hands the moment she picked it up.

"I didn't know you played." Ari said.

"I...don't." Dot said hesitantly. "I'm terrible. Yakko is way better than I am but he usually plays piano and I'd have Wakko teach but he said he didn't even know how to play it, he messed around until it sounded good. Yakko got it for me on my birthday cause he wanted to teach me how to play it, but we never really got around to it."

Ari looked it over. "It looks custom, I've never seen a guitar that looked like this before."

"It is." Dot admitted.

"It must have cost a fortune."

"It probably did."

"So you just, keep it in a corner?"

"What else am I supposed to do with it? Eat it?" She said sharply.

Ari tapped her chin. "Hmm, I've got an idea."

"Don't hurt yourself, thinking too much can stunt your growth." Dot joked.

"No no, listen. I can teach you how to play this! It's like one of the few things I know how to do."

Dot thought about it. "Why would you want to teach me? I thought you hated me, or us I guess."

"Yeahhhh, I kinda do." Ari admitted. "But it can be a trade."

"I don't have anything to give you, we're kinda broke right now."

"How about this, I teach you how to play guitar, and you teach me how to sound more...like you, I guess?" Ari suggested.

"Hmm, well I guess I could teach you a few things but isn't learning guitar really hard?"

"Hey, if an idiot like me can learn it, you'll get it no problem." Ari grinned.

Dot grabbed the guitar from Ari and looked it over. She strummed it and it played a discordant note.

"Ok, you know what missy? You've got yourself a deal!" She held out her hand.

The two of them shook on it and that was that. The deal had been made. The second deal Ari had made with the Warners. This was getting ridiculous. If she made any more deals, she'd have enough to write a book about it.

"When do you want to start?" Ari asked.

"Well, my schedule is pretty booked right now, so I'll let you know!" Dot said.

Ari raised an eyebrow. "Booked? Booked with what?"

Dot didn't answer. Instead, she cleaned off the table the way all tables are meant to be cleaned off. She wrapped everything in the tablecloth, tied it up, and threw it in the trash.

"Ok, I'm tired. I think I've asked enough questions for one night, you can leave now." Dot conceded.

"Oh thank god." Ari exclaimed.

Dot smiled. "Don't get too comfortable, I might have more for you later."

"Oh geez." Ari sighed.

"And another thing, don't think just cause we had this little bonding moment I'm gonna take it easy on you now! I have a reputation to keep up!"

"Wouldn't have it any other way..." Ari responded sarcastically.

"Good. Oh, look who it is!" Dot said motioning to the door.

"I hear you Wakko, but if cereal is soup, wouldn't that make something like fruit cocktail soup too?" Yakko said, opening the door to the Water Tower.

"It comes in a can doesn't it?" Wakko responded.

He paused. "Holy cow, you're right."

"I hope you guys brought back something good!" Dot said excitedly.

"I wouldn't count on it!" Yakko replied in a sing-songy voice. "Wakko ate more than half of it. We're lucky there's anything left."

Wakko shrugged and sat in the couch. Like, literally, inside the couch.

Yakko slammed a bag of junk on the floor. He opened his mouth to say something else when he noticed Ari. His entire posture and demeanor changed immediately.

"Ari! To what do we owe the pleasure?" He asked with a smile.

"I was kidnapped." Ari said plainly.

"We were having a girl talk!" Dot waved her hands in the air and the sparkles rained once more.

"Oh boy, doesn't that sound like fun." Yakko replied somewhat sarcastically. "She didn't go all psychoanalyst on you did she?"

"Well…" Ari said hesitantly.

"Oh jeez, you let her read one psychology book and suddenly she thinks she's a therapist." He chuckled and patted Dot on the head.

"But I was right! Just like I was with you." Dot protested.

"What did you say I had again?"

"You have severe abandonment issues, childhood trauma, and PTSD which you cope with through comedy and entertaining others."

Yakko shook his head and looked at Ari. "Where do they come up with this stuff? Kids, I tell ya..."

"But-" Dot began to say.

"ANYWAYS!" Yakko interrupted. "It's been real great seeing you Ari but we have to get ready for bed! Right sibs?"

"Yeah." Wakko and Dot said in unison, Dot much more hesitantly than Wakko.

"Ok…" Ari said slowly. "I guess I'll be going then." She walked to the door and took a step out of it.

"Sis." Yakko said quietly. "Next time, can you just leave the psychiatry to Scratchansniff? Please?"

"Whatever..." Dot mumbled, annoyed.

Ari stopped abruptly and leaned her head back in.

"W-what did you just say?"

Yakko smiled nervously. "Oh, nothing! I was just wishing my sweet little siblings a good night."

Ari stepped back into the tower. "No, no, don't play with me. What did you just say? Something about Scratchansniff?"

Yakko sighed and his smile dissipated. "Yes. I said that maybe Dot should leave the psychiatry up to Dr. Scratchansniff next time, a REAL psychiatrist. That's all, happy now?"

"What's his first name?"

"Uhhh, Otto, I think? Can you leave please?" Yakko said impatiently.

Ari pulled the floppy disc out of her pocket again and held it up. "Guys. This disk, the one I've been carrying around, was made by a Dr. Otto Scratchansniff."

"Wait...what?" Yakko snatched the disk from Ari and studied it. His jaw dropped. "OH. MY. GOD. You're right! You know what this means Ari?!"

"What?!" Ari asked anxiously.

He dropped the disk. "I don't care."

Ari caught the disk before it hit the ground and frowned. "Wow. Well, can you guys at least tell me something about him? You said he was a psychiatrist or something? Why would he make something like this? Whatever it is."

"You know what, I'd love to tell you ALL about him. Tomorrow night." Yakko pushed her out of the door.

"HEY!" She yelled.

"See ya!" He slammed the door shut.

Ari sat on the floor of the cold catwalk and weighed her options. She could press for more answers from the Warners, but the muffled arguing she heard from the other side gave her pause on that. Her only other options now were to either put this disk back where she found it, or look elsewhere for info. Well, there was no way in hell she was putting it back now, this was getting too interesting. So her only option left was to do what she did best, snoop around.

And snooping, she would indeed go, but you know what they say about curiosity and cats? Sometimes it's not great for dogs either.