Afternoon, Marsh Residence. Stan was sitting on the couch, watching some Canadian reality show. That was his new favorite show ever since Terrance and Philip was over. Shelly then came from the kitchen.
"Get up, turd, let's go." She ordered.
"Go where?" He asked.
"Mom wants me to do the shopping today, and you're going with me."
Stan moaned. "Oh, do I have to?"
"If you wanna eat today, get off your ass and move it!"
Stan begrudgingly turned off the TV, got off the couch and followed Shelly to the garage.
Moments later, Sharon's car left the residence, with Shelly behind the wheel and Stan riding shotgun. They stayed silent for a minute, with Shell y focused on driving, until she finally asked.
"So, how were things with those perverts?"
"They came to me earlier today. They were pissed because I got rid of those pictures of you." He answered.
"Huh."
"So I showed them that other picture you took and told them what you were gonna do to them."
"And…?"
"And nothing. They're still pissed and still all over you."
Shelly got a little irritated. "Oh yeah? Then how about I go there and beat their 'pervertness' out of them?" She threatened.
"Yeah, and then you'll go to jail for beating up little kids." Stan warned.
"You think I'm afraid of that?"
"No, it's just…" Stan took a breath and, not wanting to push it any further, decided to change the subject. "Anyway, what are we buying?"
"Stuff for dinner, soap for laundry, wax, and my tampons."
Stan was baffled. "Tampons again? How many tampons have you used this month already?"
"None of your damn business, turd!" She answered, both irritated and insulted.
"Goddamn!" He muttered.
After returning from the shopping, Stan went upstairs to go to the bathroom. Upon reaching the door, he was about to enter, when Shelly pushed him out of the way.
"I'll go first, turd. It's urgent." She went in and closed the door.
"What… what the hell?" He babbled.
Indignant, Stan waited outside the bathroom. After a minute or two, Shelly walked out of it. He went in, and was disgusted at what he saw.
"Jesus Christ, Shelly, there's blood all over the toilet!" He yelled.
"Told you it was urgent."
Shelly took her leave, and Stan wondered what to do with the bloody toilet.
"Goddammit!" He muttered again.
At the dining room, Sharon and Shelly were already having dinner. Stan came from upstairs and quickly joined them.
"What took you so long, Stanley?" Sharon asked.
"I had to clean up Shelly's mess in the bathroom. It was horrible, and I almost puked… twice!"
Shelly rolled her eyes, annoyed by Stan's complaint. He then turned to her.
"Okay, that's official. There's something very wrong with your vagina!"
Shelly wasn't pleased by that commentary. "Shut up, turd!"
Nor was Sharon. "Stanley, don't say such a thing!"
"No, I mean it! Every time her period comes, it's a torrent of blood!" He stated, recalling a previous incident.
"You just don't get it because you're not a woman!" Shelly rebutted.
"Thank God I'm not. Women are gross!"
"Ahem." Sharon cleared her throat, feeling a little offended.
"Oh. Sorry, Mom."
At this point, Shelly had had enough of Stan's ranting.
"Grow the fuck up, Stan."
"Shelly! Language." Sharon reprimanded.
Shelly just rolled her eyes again and resumed eating.