Chapter 5
I wake up running to the restroom about an hour later. I lean against the tub as I sit on the floor from getting sick. I don't hear my dad come into the bathroom to check on me. I was pale with no color in my face.
"princess are you ok?"
"yes I'm fine its just apart of the pregnancy"
"you look awfully pale princess, I don't think you should look so pale and be that weak after throwing up."
"ill be ok dad I'm used to it trust me."
"I'm making you an appointment with mine and your fathers doctor today it worry's me to see you like this princess"
"dad how is your doctor going to help me Id need to see a baby doctor"
"hes also a baby doctor as well so he will be able to help you"
"I'm not getting out of this am I?"
"getting away with what my love"
I look up as bill comes into the bathroom as well. My dad looks at him then at me.
"she thinks shes getting out of going to the doctors for the morning sickness as I think it shouldn't be making her so pale and weak every time she gets sick its got me worried."
"ive been worried about that myself but I didn't want to push her about it because she says its normal"
"its not normal to be that weak, and this is her first pregnancy so im not sure how she knows whats normal and whats not"
"really you two are going to gang up against me like this?"
"what are you two doing to my princess?"
"we want her to go to the doctor and be checked out because of how weak and pale this morning sickness is making her, we don't think it is normal and shes fighting us on it"
"princess they both are right you need to go and be checked out to see what is going on"
"really know all three of you are against me?"
"baby come on we all love and worry about you, we know you don't like doctors but this time I believe it is for the best so please."
"fine ill go but dosent mean I have to be happy about it one bit now does it"
"no you don't have to be but as long as your going and not arguing with us its fine"
"your all lucky I love you all as much as I do otherwise I wouldn't be doing this one damn bit happy or not about it"
"we know you wouldn't be"
My dad goes downstairs and makes the appointment. I go lay back down until it is time to go to the appointment. My dad comes in to tell me its time to go. I get up and go take a shower then get dressed. We all go by floo powder to the doctors office. We all sit in the waiting room to be called back.
"ok who's going back with me this time?"
"ill go back love if you want me too."
"of course I want you too my love I just wanted to know if you all were going to go back since my dad decided I needed this appointment"
"we all will be going back with you princess so this way another doctor cant do what they did the last time"
"ok dad"
They call me back and we all go back into the room. The nurse checks my vitals and things as she asks what is going on. Before I can even answer my father speaks up explaining the concerns and what has been going on since I found out I was pregnant.
I sit there just watching as the nurse chuckles softly.
"I'm guessing you two are her fathers and this young man is her husband"
"yes ma'am that would be right sorry we just are very concerned because she was told she wouldn't be able to have any children and we want to make sure her and the babies are ok"
"that is understandable"
"I still say in my defense in all this they are over reacting but seems that it don't matter cause they insisted on bringing me into the doctors anyway"
"well sweetie they care for you and those babies I cant blame them for wanting you to be seen."
"me either but they all three know how much I hate the doctors or even hospitals for that matter."
"well nothing is going to go wrong here I promise I heard what the last doctor pulled and it wont be allowed here trust me."
"thank you that makes me feel a little better I just don't see why I needed to even come in at all."
"well with what was explained with your morning sickness your dad is right that isn't normal nor should it be happening every time so the doctor will figure out what is going on so we can fix the problem."
"ok"
the doctor comes into the room and does a checkup. He looks over my chart and my history. We all sit and wait as hes quite and none of us are sure if this is good or not. He then orders an ultra sound and some blood work. Bill goes with me to the ultrasound this time. The tech moves the wand around checking for the heartbeats and the babies. She stops when she finds the first baby's heartbeat. She then moves it around more but isn't finding the second heartbeat. I look at bill then back to her.
"I'm sorry but I'm only finding one of the babies heartbeat and this could be why your getting so sick the other baby may have passed and its causing an infection inside of your womb"
"please tell me your wrong that both our babies are there and both alive."
"I wish I could but I'm not finding the other babies heartbeat."
We go back to the doctors office after having blood drawn I haven't said a word since finding out about the other baby. Bill keeps his arm around me as we all sit and wait. The doctor comes back in and looks at us then at the chart.
"I know this isn't going to be easy to accept or hear but one of the babies has passed away and we don't understand why, your healthy and you have done everything that you needed to be doing to ensure nothing would go wrong."
"then why did this happen."
"we have no idea why it has happened and I am sorry for your loss, we want to put you on bed rest for the rest of your pregnancy to ensure that the other baby survives, we know of the bad experiences you have had with other doctors but we want to ensure that everything is going to be ok and you can carry the baby to term."
bill then speaks up knowing I cant right at that moment.
"the tech said that the reason she could be so sick and weak is the other baby that passed on could be causing an infection, is there something that can be fixed or?"
"yes it can be and we will take care of that before you leave today and we will put her on antibiotics as well."
"alright thank you doctor."
we go back into an examine room and they do what needs to be done to remove the baby that had passed. They allow us to see the baby and then they take it away. We stop at the desk out front as they give us the prescription. My dad takes it to be filled and bill takes me home. I lay on our bed under the covers not talking to anyone or even noticing who's in the room with me. Bill watches me worried that I haven't said a word since the ultrasound.
"she has me worried right now she hasn't spoken a word."
"son shes in shock and I don't blame her because she has done everything that she is suppose to be doing and this still happened I can guarantee shes probably scared of losing the other baby as well."
"this is tearing her apart isn't it?"
"yes it is bill but we all have to be there when shes ready to talk or cry or whatever she may due when shes finally accepts what has happened. Right now we cant force her to accept what has happened."
"so what do I do just let her be"
"hold her and let her know your here with her because I know that your hurting as well at the lose of the baby as she is."
"I am and I know she was worried about this happening and none of us thought this was going to happen."
"no none of us thought she would lose either of the babies as she is doing everything that she needs to be doing."
I curl up and pull the blanket over my head, I let the tears stream down my face hiding from everyone, so no one sees me at the weak moment. I think that I'm hiding it, but my dad's notice immediately as does bill and mom. Bill crawls up beside me and puts his arms around me. I try to pull away, but he won't let me he keeps a hold on me. My dad's kneel beside the bed and put a hand on my arm. Mom puts a hand on my leg trying to re sure me that I'm ok.
"just leave me alone in my misery I deserve it I lost one of our children I don't deserve to be comforted."
"it's not your fault that you lost our baby love don't think for one moment it is your fault."
"how isn't it my fault I'm supposed to be the one that takes care of our babies while I carry them, and I couldn't protect one of them."
"sweetie listen to me things like this happen and its not your fault at all"
"I hate that we were so excited for twins and now I've lost one of our precious baby's"
"I know princess, but it will be ok you and bill will get through this."
"now I'm on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy and we all know how well that is going to go because of how board I get."
"we all will be right here with you to help you get through this I promise you that sweetie we aren't going to leave you alone."
"how is that fair on everyone else to entertain me if I'm stuck in bed, I mean I know that bill has to go to work also I don't expect anyone to stay with me at all times."
"love someone is going to be with you at all times since you are bed ridden at the moment you can't get up to make yourself something to eat or drink."
"I know love but it's going to come to the point I feel like a burden on everyone around me."
"you are not a burden, nor will you ever be seen that way we all love you and are here for whatever you need princess remember that"
"not the point dad it's really not, I can't help how I will feel because I cant do things for myself like I want to be able to do"
"I know princess, but it'll all be ok I promise."
I fall asleep as bill holds me tight against him. He kisses my forehead as I fall asleep still in tears. He only moves when he knows I am asleep. He and the others go out to the kitchen as he starts supper.
"bill do you have to go to work tonight?"
"yes, but I want to make her a good dinner before I go."
"well since you have to work, we will stay over and keep her company for the night bill if you're ok with that"
"I'm fine with that the spare bedrooms have adult beds in them so u can sleep in one of those rooms if you want."
"ok we will do that then, let us go over to our house and get some clothes to change into."
"ok ill have dinner ready for everyone shortly that way we can all eat together before I have to go to work."
"ok"
"son I have to go home and get dinner ready myself I will come back down and check on her shortly when I can"
"ok mom"
I lay sleeping as I hear my father's come back into the house as I smell dinner being cooked. I wake up slowly trying to forget what happened because every time I remember I tear up wanting to scream and cry because I had lost one of our babies and it was killing me inside. My father's come into the bedroom to see me sitting up and my face was wet from the tears my eyes red and swollen from all the crying I had been doing. They both sit down beside me and put their arms around me. I curl into their arms as they both hold me close.
"princess we both love you so much and it will be ok we promise you."
"no, it won't cause now I can't even stand up for my wedding next month like I want too and I'm stuck in bed so how is going to be ok."
"we will figure it all out because your wedding day is going to be perfect because we are sharing it also, but we will make sure it is perfect."
bill comes in caring a plate for me and him. He sets our plates down on the bed then goes to go out.
"we will get our own bill sit with bells and we will be right back so we all can eat together."
"ok dads"
they go and get their plates and come back as we all get comfortable on the bed. As we all start to eat the upcoming wedding.
"we are still going to grim land place to celebrate Christmas and so we can set up for the weddings as well."
"I think ill just stay home in bed this year you all can go and celebrate Christmas."
"my love what are you talking about our wedding is next month along with your fathers how can you want to stay home?"
"what's the point when I'm bed ridden, and I won't be able to stand up with you when we get married or walk down the aisle like we planned?"
"yes, you will princess trust us on this ok?"
"I haven't even gone wedding shopping to find my dress or anything and now I can't because I am bedridden."
"let me and dad go shopping to find your dress we know your size, and this is something we would love to do for you"
I look at bill then both my fathers. They all look at me and I know I wasn't going to get my way and just let them all go celebrate and leave me alone.
"love they are right let them do this for you"
"ok fine ill let them do this but I still don't think I'll be able to walk down that aisle or stand up beside you as we get married."
"trust us and you will see love ok"
"yes love"
"thank you for trusting us"
"I love you all and I will always trust you no matter what I'm just not feeling very happy or anything at the moment"
"we know and we can't blame you for any of that princess and we all know both you and bill are grieving a loss."
"I know but still our wedding is next month and im depressed right now and its wrong of me I should be happy."
"no one expects you to be all happy right now princess you just found out you lost one of your babies your carrying."
"still I don't want bill to hate me for not being happy about our wedding"
"my love I could never hate you to start with we both are grieving the baby right now and I feel I should be happy cause our wedding is next month but at the moment im not."
"neither of you need to feel bad about not being happy right now because the loss you experienced is a great one and no one can expect you to be happy and act like nothing happened."
"how do we tell all the others now?"
"let us worry about that part princess ok"
"ok dad."
"my love I'm sorry but it is time I go to work and your dads will be here with you tonight"
"I understand love go to work ill be alright"
"I still worry about you even if I am at work because I love you so much"
"I love you so much to baby but we both know that you have to work baby and im not mad about that I know that you have to work."
"ill be home as soon as I can love I promise."
"I know you will love, and I am ok I promise"
He leaves for work as I settle down into bed laying under the covers not even seeing my fathers watching from the doorway still thinking they was in the kitchen because they were cleaning up the kitchen from dinner. I fall asleep in silent tears hoping that our dreams wouldn't be ruined but something told me that something was about to happen and wasn't sure what it was. I wake up in extreme pain a couple hours later. I scream out in pain causing my fathers to run in. they both look at me then to each other. I am holding my stomach doubled over and I new what was happening I was miscarrying the other baby. They both rush me to the hospital. I am laying in the bed still in pain as the doctor works on me hoping to save the other baby but I new it was to late. He looks at my fathers shaking his head. They both look at me with tears in their own eyes. I curl up screaming in pain and anger at myself.
"I am so sorry bell Hun I did everything I could, and you did nothing to cause this, your body couldn't handle the pregnancy because of the damage done."
"so it is my fault I lost them"
"no sweetie it isn't your fault that you couldn't hold the pregnancy one bit whoever did the damage to you is at fault not you, you did everything you were suppose to do to keep your little ones safe but with all the damage your body couldn't handle it."
"I wanted those babies"
"we know you did sweetie and we all were trying to prevent this from happening so you could have your children."
"can I leave now?"
"yes, you can just take it easy for a little while and rest ok"
"yes doctor."
"I leave and disparate leaving my fathers behind and I end up in Hogsmeade where I rent an apartment under a fake name and I lock myself inside. I knew everyone would be looking for me, but I didn't care now all I cared about was how much pain I was in. I was blaming myself for all of this. I lay down on the bed and fall asleep in tears. I don't hear the knock on my door I just ignore it. I don't realize that headmaster had found me before anyone else and he was sitting beside the bed in a chair watching me sleep nor did I realize he had contacted bill and the others to where I was. I kept tossing and turning through the night screaming out at times over the nightmares. I don't hear bill or my fathers come into the apartment when the headmaster lets them in.
"is she ok has she spoken to you?"
"she doesn't even know I am here she's been asleep this whole time and its not been a peaceful sleep I can tell you that much."
"screaming and tossing and turning, wasn't she?"
"yea she has been all night, but I didn't want to wake her up and scare her half to death when I did."
"I don't blame you because she does scare easy when woken up."
I slowly open my eyes and look around as I see them all standing at the end of the bed. I panic and go to get up and leave again but bill stops me.
"love don't leave again I can't stand to lose you too"
"you deserve someone who's not damaged and can carry your children without the risk of losing them"
"I don't want no one but you my love"
"did you know the doctor took out the rest of my woman parts because I can't handle being pregnant because of the damage done, now I can't ever get pregnant again."
"love we will get through this together I know how much you wanted to be a mother and that our babies were our only shot and right now we both are hurting because we lost them but I wont lose you too we will get through this together please come home."
I sigh and fall to my knees as a scream of pain and heartbreak rips through my body as I finally accept that I had lost both our babies. Bill kneels beside me and pulls me into his arms as my body rocks with tears my fathers kneel and wrap their arms around us both. My screams continue as I son uncontrollably bill holds me as they hold us both as bills own tears let go. We sit like that for over an hour as my sobs and screams fade.
"love lets go home"
"yes love"
We go back to our house and I crawl into bed as bill holds me in his arms. We both curl up into each other's arms as I lay my head on his chest falling asleep to his heartbeat. My fathers watch us as mom rushes into the house.
"are they ok?"
"they are asleep now, not sure they are ok now because of losing both their babies but they will be ok. He convinced her to come home which is what she needed."
"I'm glad he got her to come home and I hope they can't get through this because I know how much they love each other."
"they will get through this molly they are both stronger together and they know this more then anyone sees."
"their wedding is next month and so is your guys wedding"
"yes and we are going to make sure their wedding is the one of their dreams because they both deserve it."
"that they do"
"I want to take princess dress shopping and I will pay for her dress myself so she don't have too."
"do you really think she is going to let you do that severus?"
"oh trust me she will because as her father as well as sirius we have that right to pay for her dress and this wedding so she will like it one way or another."
"we are having christmas at sirius big house still aren't we ?"
"yes, but the weddings are being held in the big hotel up the street from there I already booked the venue and the flowers and decorations are already ordered and people will be setting it all up for us that day"
"well looks like you had this all planned out without telling her"
"we did because we wanted to do something special for her and bill."
"they both deserve it"
"yes, that they do look at all they have been through over the last seven years"
"they have been through so much together and for him to watch the hell she goes through every year was killing him till he finally had enough this year."
"I know I am surprised he put up with as much as he did before he told me I was her father and what was going on."
" he had enough way before now but he knew for her sake it was better to not tell you till he saw how much abuse she had endured this last summer."
"I cant blame him and I wish I could have done so much more before all this happened then they wouldn't be going through this loss."
"I wish we could have too but we all know that if we had it could have gone so much worse for bell."
"yes I know but to see the pain and hell she's gone through and know this it kills me as her father to watch her hurt so much."
"love it hurts me as well because she is both our daughters."
"we will all get them through these guys trust me shell come out much stronger for this."
"they both will"
"yes, they will and one way or another they will be parents we will find away to make it happen."
"oh yes I agree that we will"
They all go home as we both sleep peacefully. We both sleep through the night an most the next day as well. I curl up into his arms as close as I can get to him. He holds me tight and close as we both don't want to wake up. As we sleep my nightmares stay away for once in a long time. I wake up first and get up going to shower and change before going to the kitchen and making us some supper. I set the table as I finish pulling the meatloaf from the oven setting it on the table with the mashed potatoes and the green beans. I set glasses on the table with orange juice and milk so we had something to choose from. I don't hear bill get up and come out to the kitchen as I finish setting the table.
"smells delicious my love what did you make us"
"I made meatloaf with mashed potatoes and green bean I hope that's ok love"
"of course, it is love anything you make is ok"
I smile softly and make his plate for him as he sits down. I sit down across from him putting very little on my plate as I nibble at what I put on my plate. He watches me as he eats his supper and I can see the concern in his eyes as he does. I look down not wanting to see him watching me.
"love you need to eat more then what you're eating"
"I'm not that hungry love sorry"
"I know but my love you need to eat to keep your strength up so your healthy"
"I am trying but right now I'm just not hungry is all love"
"promise me that you'll try to eat some more if you're hungry later on"
"I promise ill eat more later and I know you needed to eat before going to work and I packed a lunch for you out of some of the meatloaf and potatoes."
"love you didn't have to pack me a lunch I could have done it."
"it is my job love I am going to be your wife I have to make sure your taken care of and fed properly"
"love its also my job to make sure your ok and safe as well you know"
"yes my love I know this but I am fine I promise you"
"well promise me youll also try to sleep tonight while I am at work"
"I promise my love I will try to rest while your at work tonight I cant promise if I will or not but I will try"
"if you try that is all I ask my love I do worry about you because you just underwent surgery as well."
"go to work and stop worrying I will be fine and I am sure my fathers and mom will pop in to check in on me at some point if I know the three of them as well as we both do"
"that is very true my love"
He kisses me goodbye and holds me for a second as I lay against him. He then leaves for work as I watch him go. I shut the front door and go about cleaning up our house and making sure the food is put away and dishes are done before I go about cleaning the rest of the house as well. About an hour later there is a knock on my door. I go to answer the door and my mother is standing there.
"what in the hell do you want and why are you here"
"your my daughter and I came to see if your alright I heard about the miscarriage"
"why do you even care you have never given two shit about me or what was done or happened to me so why care now"
"your my daughter"
"no im nothing to you I have parents yes but your not one of them anymore I don't want a damn thing to do with you know if you will kindly leave and never show your face here again."
My fathers walk up just then as they hear what is going on they rush to my side. She looks at me then to them in shock.
"who do you two think you are shoving in against my daughter like that?"
"she is our daughter not yours and it would be wise if you left like you were told to because your not welcome here nor wanted here now I suggest you leave anna."
"how in the hell do you know my name."
"oh come on your telling me you don't recognize me anna its sirius I am bells father
"well you look different and who the hell is severus think he is calling her his daughter?"
"me and severus are together so there fore she is his daughter as well"
"wait your gay now"
"ive been gay for some time and severus is my soon to be husband so I suggest you show some dam respect to him and our daughter and leave now before the authoritys are called."
"you cant call the authority's on me when this is my daughter's home I have rights to be here as well as anyone else does."
"not when I don't want you here nor do I ever want to see you again so get the hell off my property now before I do call the authority's to remove and press charges for trespassing where you aren't wanted."
"you will regret this bell I'm telling you that know I will send him after you again and this time the damage done may not be reversible. "
"the damage done this first time wasn't reversible he's the reason I miscarried, he's the reason I no longer am able to have children so go ahead send him after me and don't be shocked when it comes back that he is in jail or dead this time cause I swear he lays a hand on me ill kill him my damn self now get the hell off my property."
She leaves in a huff all pissed off as I am shaking now from all the yelling at her to get her to leave. My father's see I am shaking and help me inside and have me sit down as they notice how clean the house is.
"princess did you clean the whole house by yourself?"
"yes, I waited for bill to go to work and I cleaned our home why?"
"you just had surgery princess you shouldn't be pushing yourself like this then having to deal with that woman didn't help issues at all."
"no but I knew sooner, or later id have to deal with her, so I guess its better now then later even though she threatened me right them"