Physics Bowled Over

by AmbitiousAlvin

Alvin 2.0 fills in for a teammate that can't attend the annual Physics Bowl, but will his knowledge of physics come through when he needs it most? Or will he embarrass Simon's entire team with his poor recall skills? Tensions run high as Simon and Alvin both struggle to understand each other. The bickering brothers will have to put both their heads together to be victorious.

5. The Liability

Simon's POV

Failure is just a step to learning, they say. I wonder if that also applies to those who fail over and over again and learn absolutely NOTHING from their past failures. Time and time again I have told Alvin that studying works, and time and time again he has refused to study unless he's bouncing from topic to topic like a deranged hummingbird. It's unfathomable, isn't it? That someone could be SO SMART and yet SO CLUELESS at the same time. That's my brother. He's a living breathing oxymoron. (And before you get outraged that I called him a moron, I didn't. I said oxymoron...which is a fancy way of saying his personality itself is a contradiction.)

As I watched him leave, I felt pain in my chest. Nothing serious, just the kind you get from a lot of stress and sadness. I knew in my heart that the odds of having to replace him were extremely high. That meant the odds of him being depressed and moping about it for weeks and months was also high. I felt bad for him. He seemed to think he was trying so hard and not getting anywhere. He was deep in denial.

"We have to pull out every trick in the book this weekend." Kevin said, addressing the entire group.

Cheesy nodded. "Right on."

"I knew he was going to struggle, but I didn't expect it to be that bad." Warren shuffled the practice flashcards as he spoke.

"Any idea who to get as our next alternate yet?" Kevin asked, taking out his phone and starting to play a random color matching game.

"No, but….I did ask Eleanor to find us someone." I frowned. "I wish we didn't have to consider this. He's my brother...and you guys are his friends. He's going to be crushed if we tell him he's off the team."

"That's why, we're going to give him a weekend of the most fun he's ever had studying in his life!" The redhead in the green T-shirt declared forcefully. "When we're done with him, he'll be a physics machine!"

I chuckled before resuming my worried facial expression. "He believes he already is."

"Perfect! Then we're gonna make his dream come true!" Kevin was definitely the most enthusiastic about this. Warren seemed okay with it, but not overly excited and Cheesy looked nervous about it.

I didn't know what to think. I was feeling so many emotions at once that I was basically overloaded. On the outside, I appeared calm and only slightly worried. On the inside, I was a mess.

After I left the meeting of the MathTrons, or Physics Knights as I guess we're called right now, I decided to take some quiet time in the library to cool off. I needed it before heading home to face the enormous challenge of teaching Alvin.

I shuffled inside and browsed through the books when someone accidentally dropped a book on my head. I picked it up and looked at the cover. The Mysteries of Theoretical Physics? Peculiar that someone would drop this book in particular on my head.

"Sorry! My bad! C….Can I have my book back?" A rather familiar voice asked.

I tilted my head upward to look at the hopeful face of….Jamie.

I fought the temptation to hold onto the book. I am not a petty person. I refuse to be. I handed him the book with a slight scowl twisting my mouth.

"Thanks." He said.

"Yeah." I mumbled.

Jamie looked like he'd just done something unspeakable. "I didn't mean to drop it."

"I know." I said, keeping my voice nearly emotionless.

"Are we….cool?" Jamie was beginning to bother me. Of course we were not cool. He had completely demolished the relationship I worked so hard to build up with him. He couldn't just fix it with three words. Honestly, the nerve of some students at this school is plain laughable.

"No." I said, placing my hands on my hips. "No, we are not."

"Is it because I joined Bocarter's team?" He looked uncomfortable. "Because I only did that so he'd pay off the debt I owe Mr. Dotson."

"No, it's because you never apologized for your behavior…or for ditching me to hang out with people who are considered "cooler." I explained. "How'd you get in debt with the drama teacher?"

Jamie rocked back and forth on his feet. "There was...an incident involving a statue of William Shakespeare." Jamie blushed. "He….no longer has a head. I have to pay for his new one."

"Oh brother." I commented, turning my attention back to the bookshelf.

"I…..I'm sorry, Simon. You know, about….everything." Jamie clutched his book so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.

"I appreciate the apology." I said curtly, before adding. "I would have appreciated it more if it wasn't over 4 years late."

He gave his head the tiniest nod you ever did see. "That's fair."

I wanted to ask him to make it up to me by dropping himself from Bocarter's team, but I sensed that was….almost as bad as cheating. So, I said nothing of a sort.

"See ya round, Simon." The skinny boy shuffled away from me looking ashamed.

"See ya." I echoed, not even sure why I said anything at all. I was giving him false hope.

Should I give him another chance? He was such a good friend before…..No. No. I had seen how he still acts. He's no different than he was back then. The whining, the complaining, the tantrums if he doesn't get his way. We were never going to be friends again. It wouldn't work. Besides, I already had a few friends. More friends only makes things more complicated.

Saturday came and our team put our "Let's Help Alvin" plan into action. It was, in a word, rough.

The four of us gathered in the living room at my house. Yes, I said four of us. Not five, as Warren couldn't make it. He was off shopping with his parents, presumably to get a lot of ice cream and popsicles.

I rolled out my portable dry erase board and waved the magic wand from my magic kit around to act as a pointer. "Today, we will be embarking on the most difficult quest known to mankind." I declared, sounding as scholarly as possible. "Teaching Alvin physics."

Alvin was hanging upside down off the back of the couch. "I already know it." He insisted. "The problem is recall, remember?" He slid down from the couch like a snake and turned himself around, sitting up on the arm of the couch. "Haha. Recall. Remember. I think those are synnnnonnnnyms."

"Synonyms." Kevin corrected.

Alvin scoffed. "If you wanna be all old school about it, sure. My way sounds cooler."

I rolled my eyes. It's a habit I do far too often. You would too, if you lived with Alvin. "It sounds like you don't know how to speak properly."

"Lay off, Simon." Cheesy told me, sounding offended. "He can talk however he wants."

Ohhh. It was a terrible idea to say that in front of someone who actually physically can't speak properly. I felt like such a jerk again. Where did this week go wrong? "I take it back." I said quickly.

"I have a really cool idea!" Kevin announced, thankfully getting the attention off me. "What if we made an obstacle course scavenger hunt? Where the puzzles Alvin has to solve are physics questions, so he can move up to the next level."

Alvin's blue eyes flashed with excitement behind his red framed glasses. "LIKE A VIDEOGAME!" He squeaked. "I love it!"

"You stay here. Cheesy, Simon, and I will get everything ready." Kevin told Alvin.

Alvin's tail twitched. "Okay!" He replied with a confident smile on his face.

That was the beginning of something that should have been a lot easier than it turned out to be.

The very first obstacle Kevin and Cheesy set up was a bunch of orange traffic cones for Alvin to zig zag through. Alvin cleared that obstacle like a pro. He then checked under the giant cone at the end of the line to find a sheet of paper with a physics question on it.

I hoped the adrenaline rush would push Alvin enough to access the knowledge inside his head. "Can you answer it?"

Alvin stared at the question with a blank expression. "Uhhh…" He looked aggravated. "It's on the tip of my tongue. I know it. Can I have a hint?"

Kevin, Cheesy, and I facepalmed in unison.

My brother stared at the question again, reading it aloud. "The speed of an object at a specific moment in time…..it should be so SIMPLE! It sounds so simple!" He blinked as he read the answers to choose from. "Unit speed? Unit velocity? Instantaneous speed?"

"Think about skateboarding!" Cheesy shouted encouragingly. "That's always worked before."

"Unit speed. Final answer." Alvin said, crossing his fingers and handing me the card.

Kevin sighed. "It was instantaneous speed."

The chipmunk in the red T-shirt groaned. "At least I knew it was something speed."

Despite his screw up, Kevin still allowed Alvin to advance to the next level of the obstacle challenge. I thought that was fair. I watched my brother through binoculars as he scrambled up the side of our house to the roof. Once there, he unfolded the slip of paper taped to the chimney that held the next question.

"Relative velocity helps to…..blank." He read aloud, before joining us back down on the ground. "I'm gonna say….differentiate if an object is at rest or moving?"

My eyes went wide. There was a sliver of hope! "Alvin, that's right!" I high fived him.

"Yes!" He tossed the paper at me. "Time for level 3!"

And he continued to improve, the more adrenaline pumped into his system, the more questions he could answer correctly. Some of the various obstacles we set up included tightrope walking the zipline, leaping over the fence, crawling into the basement through a secret passage and then racing up the stairs.

At last, he made it to level 30, the final obstacle! Kevin and Cheesy set up a bunch of spare tires for Alvin to jump through WHILE hulahooping.

We all cheered him on from the sideline. "You can do it! Come on!"

Alvin spun the hoop around his waist almost effortlessly, as he hopped from tire to tire. I had no clue how he was doing that. It almost defied the laws of physics….those very same laws he had to remember. He reached the last tire and then let the hulahoop fall. He dove into the grass and found the last slip of paper. "The speed of a moving body with respect to another is known as relative speed!" He tossed the paper aside and collapsed into the grass. "What's my score?"

Kevin looked over the tallys he'd been keeping. "21 out of 30." He reported. "Not bad."

"If it were a grade, it would be…" I took out my phone and attempted to use the calculator, but Cheesy the math wiz beat me to the answer.

"70%" He reported. "A solid C."

I corrected him. "Actually, I think 70% is a C minus on most grading scales."

Alvin looked upset. "You mean I did all that work and STILL only managed to score a C minus!? 21 out of 30 sounds like so many though! I only missed 9 questions! See!? This is why I hate school!"

"You are getting better. No doubt about that." Kevin remarked. "But, you're still a liability." He said sadly.

Alvin sneered at Kevin. "What did you call me?" He asked.

Kevin gulped. "It means, you, uh, you, are likely to put us at a disadvantage."

"I know what it means, Kevin! And, no I'm not!" Alvin screeched. "I answered more questions right than wrong! I'm sorry I don't measure up to your dumb grading scale! I'll do better at the actual competition, you know, cuz there'll be an audience."

I stepped in to try and ease the tension. "We still have plenty of time to expand Alvin's mental aptitude." I told them. "He won't be the liability for long, I'm sure."

"My attitude is FINE." The offended chipmunk adjusted his red cap. "And I am NOT a liability. Sure, I'm the weakest link, but I'm doin' my best and the rest of you are really good, so it balances out."

Cheesy looked like he wanted to say something, but he backed away from us for fear of making the situation worse. I suspect we reminded him of the fighting his parents were doing back home.

Kevin knelt down beside Alvin, but the stubborn chipmunk turned away from him and scowled. The human boy looked sad. I knew he hadn't meant to hurt Alvin's feelings.

Alvin was the weakest link, and that usually wouldn't matter. The problem stemmed from the fact that he was the weakest link replacing our teams' strongest link. No matter what Alvin could do, it wouldn't measure up to Warren and that put us at a disadvantage. We really did need someone different….unless there was a miracle of some kind and Alvin continued to improve. What were we going to do? And how far would our friendships have to be tested in the process?

Alvin's POV

The liability? Me! Ha! I was doing them a favor, I was trying my hardest, and this is how they repay me? By calling me a freakin' liability!? The nerve of some people.

I refused to even look at Kevin. Cheesy had left the scene and I dunno where he ran off to. Simon looked like he was about to have a nervous breakdown. How could a fun idea like "obstacle course videogame physics training" have gone so wrong? I didn't wanna be mad at Kevin, he's one of my friends! But he crossed the line….and now I'd have to simmer down before accepting an apology. The wound was fresh and I was hot and tired.

I ran as fast as I could away from Kevin before he could apologize. I dove through the doggy door and somersaulted into the house.

I was on my way into the bedroom upstairs when I heard Theodore talking to me. "Alvin, are you okay?"

"What does it matter?" I grumbled angrily.

Theodore walked over to meet up with me. "I…..I heard what happened."

I gasped. "You were eavesdropping on us!?"

The dirty blonde haired boy shook his head. "No. You were all just….really loud." His brown eyes glistened sweetly as he tried to make things better. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Still too upset to consider another point of view and thinking Kevin hated me, I retorted. "Why don't you ask Kevin? He seems to know EVERYTHING."

I walked out of the bedroom and downstairs into the dining room to find Cheesy hiding underneath the table. "What are you doing?"

"Avoiding the conflict, and, you know, stuff like that." The green eyed boy responded.

I slumped my shoulders. "I didn't know Kevin viewed me as such a screw up. I knew Simon did, I've made peace with the fact that Simon did. Kev, you know, blindsided me." I huddled up next to Cheesy, tucking my knees up to my chest. Well, as easily as I could, being built like a chipmunk-human hybrid.

"I don't think Kevin was trying to insult you, but I really don't want to get in the middle of it." He said.

I nodded. "Yeah, and I don't blame you."

We sat in silence for a long time, before I broke it by saying something that I shoulda said a long time ago. "Hey, uh, about the making fun of your name thing…" I squeaked in my mid range chipmunky voice. "You know that's all in fun, right? I don't do it to hurt ya...or annoy ya. If you want me to stop, I can."

"I don't mind it when it's done….a little." Cheesy told me. "It bugs me when it's nonstop and everyone treats me like a big joke. I have a good sense of humor. It just gets really old hearing the same pun over and over. I've been dealing with this sorta thing since I was in elementary school."

"Right." I smiled at him. I was beginning to feel better about the situation with Kevin as well.

"But, I guess, since it IS inevitable." The teen with the bowl cut smiled back at me. "I'm glad it's coming from a friend and not a bully."

"Yeah. Stupid bullies." I scowled.

Cheesy patted my hat. "High school is tough, man."

I sighed. "Even tougher when you're 9 years old." I was way younger than he was. Mainly, I was only at Santa Barbara High because of their music program.

Cheesy crawled out from under the table and I followed.

"I should….talk to Kevin, shouldn't I?" I asked, feeling guilty for going off on the poor dude earlier.

"That's your choice to make." Cheesy said as he walked toward the door. "But probably."

I knew the longer I waited, the tougher it was gonna be for me to talk to him. I grabbed a skateboard that was lying near the door and rolled down the driveway. It wasn't my flying skateboard. That was still in my school locker.

I spotted Kevin talking to Simon before beginning to walk away down the street. I kicked myself into high gear, pushing off against the pavement and accelerating quickly down the sidewalk after the teen. "KEVIN!" I shouted. "WAIT!" I dismounted the board and lunged at him. Both of us fell on the ground, with me landing comfortably on the boy's chest and Kevin luckily landing in the grass and not on the hard sidewalk.

Kevin gently lifted me off his chest. "Are you still mad at me?" He asked. "Because I wasn't trying to upset you. Honest. I should have picked a different word."

I gave him a warm smile. "Nah, we're cool. I got super insulted, but….you are kind of right about me….being….not so great at this."

He set me on the ground. "I still shouldn't have said anything like that. And I'm sorry."

"It's cool. Sorry for….freakin' out. For what it's worth, I really loved the obstacle course test….even if I did only get a C minus and I might be wreckin' your chances to beat Bocarter." I felt a lump in my throat, like the kind that I always get before I burst into tears like a defective water fountain.

"You're still new at this." Kevin told me. "You'll get better. You should have seen Cheesy when he first started out. He couldn't answer a single question. Now he's got most of the math questions like….that." Kevin snapped his fingers.

"I…..I really don't think I'll get better." I confessed. "My brain hates me. That's why it takes me so long to finish my homework all the time."

"You gotta,..." Kevin paused, thinking about what sort of advice to give me. "...give it your best shot. Spend a few days eating, sleeping, and breathing physics….I think that's how the expression goes. I mean, try studying a lot. I know it's hard for you, but in a week it'll be over and you can go back to your normal routine."

I knew that wouldn't work either, but Kevin seemed so dang hopeful. "I'll try." I replied with half my usual confidence and gusto. "I don't wanna be the thing that wrecks this for you guys. You've put too much work into it." I pushed up my glasses and said something that I thought I would never say in a million years. "Time to get my nerd on."

"Still up for that DND game?" Kevin asked, looking a lot happier.

"Totally." I grinned.

We all got back together and played DND in the dining room for the rest of the afternoon. It was a nice relaxing break after the obstacle course and all the brain strain. My brain juice was not working right lately, and I had no idea why. Logically, studying using my system should have worked. I was bummed it didn't. I knew Simon would be nagging me pretty soon to take Kevin's advice and spend a whole week ONLY studying physics. I wasn't too thrilled with that idea. Maybe it would work, but at what cost? An entire week of my free time just….bam...gone forever.

I turned my attention back to the DND game, unwilling to allow my mind to wander on this. For once, my mind cooperated. "I need an intelligence saving throw." I told my pals and my brother in blue.

"We're doomed." Kevin and Cheesy chorused together.

My fur bristled as I shook the 20 sided dice. "HEY!"

"If you don't want us to pick on you, you shouldn't have given your character a 1 for their Intelligence stat!" Kevin pointed out. Dang it. He was right.

It was at that moment, we were interrupted by Dave. He marched into the room in his usual periwinkle sweater and dark jeans. "Why are all the spare tires for my car in the backyard?" He asked, sounding more than a bit annoyed.

"That is a very, very long story, Dave." Simon chuckled.

Our adoptive dad seemed less mad about it than I assumed he'd be. "As long as they're put away by the end of the day, I don't mind." His voice dropped lower and got more stern. "And next time, ask me first."

As he left the room, I let the dice fall out of my hands. "Wow, that was a close one. I thought for sure he was gonna yell at me."

Simon and Kevin pointed at my dice. Cheesy gasped.

"What?" I asked.

Cheesy's eyes were wide. "You rolled an 18!"

"Is that good?" I questioned.

"It means your intelligence saving throw worked. The dragon is distracted by your riddle and allows you to pass without burning you to a crisp." Kevin, the Dungeon Master, told me excitedly.

"Heck yeah!" I high fived both my human pals and my brother at the same time, by standing on the table to reach their hands. It seems my luck was starting to turn around. I wish I hadn't thought that so soon. Everytime I think I'm getting ahead, I'm blown back….hard.

The next day, I tried to devote all my time to studying. It was PAINFUL. I don't feel like I really learned much new stuff. It was more like….reviewing stuff I already knew. It was boring. It was awful. It made me wanna give up, to quit, but Alvins never quit…..no matter how much they want to. I hoped and prayed this information would stick in my head and be easy to access, but what were the odds of that happening?

"How's it going?" Simon walked into the bedroom in his bathrobe and a pair of bunny slippers. I took one look at him and realized I had been at this all day. ALL DAY! Good thing I played DND the day before because I just wasted the rest of my weekend. Why is this a pattern with me? Whyyy!?

I tossed the Physics book on the floor. "I CAN'T DO IT!" I screamed. I jumped off the bed and ran over to Simon. "You think anyone can be smarter if they study more! BUT I CAN'T! My 155 IQ means diddly squat because half the time I cannot prove I am smart to ANYONE! I study differently. I do EVERYTHING differently. That's the way I was made!"

He picked up the book and held it out to me. "We'll read it together."

I shook my head. "NO! You're missing the point! I know all this stuff! I do! But it doesn't matter how much I study, my brain's still unreliable. It still takes me a long time to arrive at answers sometimes."

He looked unconvinced. "Yeah, but you can pull knowledge out of your head whenever Miss. Smith asks about….literally anything."

"Because she's intimidating….and I like surprising her." I reasoned. Frack! This sounded so suspicious.

Simon tapped his finger against the book. "Then surprise us and learn physics better."

I almost screamed! He wasn't getting it. "Okay, Si. I am going to try and explain this in the only way I can." I told him, feeling my body begin to tremble. "Sometimes, some days my brain is like….turned on. I feel like I'm on top of the world, like I'm superman. I can do anything, no sweat." I frowned. "And other days….it is like corralling a bunch of sheep into a pen. One escapes, then the rest escapes and it is….impossible to get ANYTHING accomplished." I ran away from him and leaped back onto my bed. My stomach growled and I realized I hadn't eaten since breakfast. "I can't do the Physics Bowl. I can't. There's no guarantee that my brain will work the night of the competition. I don't wanna let your team down. I don't wanna let my friends down! I want to do this! You have no idea how much I want to be a part of this,…..but….my memory….it's shot. Nothing will make it better."

"It might be better if you would listen to my advice." Simon chased me over to the bed, still holding the physics book.

I shook my head again, feeling dizzy. "That advice works for you, not me. How many times do I have to SAY IT!?"

"Nonsense, Alvin. It works for everyone." He threw the book onto my bed. "You just have to ACTUALLY give it EFFORT."

I was desperate now. Why didn't he understand? "I…..I AM!"

"No. You aren't." Simon glared at me. "This is no different than the history project." Then, my dear old brother stole my baseball cap, put it on his head and started MOCKING me. "I'm Alvin! Studying's haaaard. Do it for me, Simon."

I snatched my cap back. "But, my ADHD is debil….." I was about to say "debilitating," when he cut me off.

He was furious at me now. "You cannot keep blaming your ADHD. You either are serious about the competition, or you aren't. That's all there is to it."

"I am serious about it!" I cried.

Simon had fire in his eyes. "THEN STUDY!"

"Ohhhh man." A rather high childish voice came from the doorway. Theodore was there….and he had just witnessed….all this.

Simon turned to look at him. "We can handle this ourselves, Theo. Do not tell Dave."

"Yeah, cuz Dave'll just take Simon's side!" I scoffed.

"...Okay." Theodore looked uncomfortable.

Simon and I ran down to the kitchen. I ran there because I was about to pass out cold if I didn't get something to eat. Simon probably came mainly to watch me and make sure I didn't get distracted. Theodore tagged along after both of us. I felt a little bad for him. He was really confused. Simon and I definitely don't fight as much as we used to, so seeing us break down and revert to our old ways must have been super jarring.

Dave entered the scene and noticed Simon and I both sulking in different corners of the kitchen. He musta noticed me first, because he said. "What's wrong Alvin? "

"I don't wanna talk about it!" I shouted, pretending to bolt from the room, and then peeking around the corner to see what Dave said to my brothers.

"Simon? " Dave asked, sounding more gentle than he did when he asked me. Ha! I refuse to believe he doesn't have a favorite kid.

"I also don't wanna talk about it!" Simon left the room in the opposite direction I had pretended to run.

Our dad looked really concerned now. "Theodore? "

The chipmunk in green shuffled his feet. "I know what's wrong with both of them, but I was told I can't talk about it. "

Now I felt guilty. Guilty and stupid. I suddenly decided I didn't want to hear anymore. I waited for them both to leave, which didn't take long, and then I grabbed my plate of pasta and peas. I ate as much of it as I could. It tasted nasty. Ever notice how everything tastes grosser when you're upset? I wonder why that is. Maybe there's a scientific explanation or maybe it's psychological. Jeanette could tell me, I bet. AW NUTS! I had forgotten to check on Jeanette. This had been a weekend full of ups and downs. I had literally no clue what to do. How could I make Simon understand me when I barely understand myself? Was our team destined for failure? People say ADHD can be a superpower, which it can be. But ADHD also has a lot of disadvantages. It can make your life a living nightmare….and, currently, that's what it had done to me.