"Your majesty, I have bad news," Berenati reported in the throne room. "Haris has been kidnapped."

The pharaoh looked weary.

"Do you know by who?" he asked.

"There was a large muscular man wearing a tattered gray cloak at the tavern he was kidnapped from, as well as a horse out back, presumably his," answered Berenati. "We didn't see his face."

"What time was it when he disappeared?"

"About one hour before noon."

The pharaoh sighed. "The same time Charix was destroyed."

"Yes," said Berenati.

"The same time Charix reappeared at the next riverport."

Berenati's jaw dropped.

"You don't think...?" she started.

The pharaoh nodded.

"Naradia has taken our measure. She knows of all the spells in our temples and every one of our priests. She knows what we are capable of, and timed her summoning of Charix based on that knowledge."

"She knew how long it would take us to defeat it," Berenati said, her eyes widening. Then her eyes narrowed. "She could not have discovered all that on her own. Not without leaving any trace of her presence."

"Indeed," said the pharaoh. "Which means she had help on the inside. There is a traitor in our midst. Haris was right."

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"Are we there yet?"

The Sun was setting when he said that. Harris had promised himself long ago that he would never say those words ever again. But after several days of travel by horse with a man who hardly spoke to him, he was bored out of his mind. The Warrior of Atonement, despite being sexy as hell and clearly used to long distance travel, seemed uptight.

He'd shown a lot more emotion when he'd first kidnapped Harris at the Waset riverport. It seemed that enigmatic and honorable strangers with dark and mysterious pasts tended to also be the strong and silent types. It made Harris feel warm and secure, but also very bored.

"I will let you know when we arrive," said the voice of the sexy man right behind him.

Harris groaned. He was bored and horny. And there was nowhere he could relieve himself in private.

"How long will this trip take?" he whined.

"Until you return everything you stole to its rightful place," the Warrior of Atonement reminded him.

"How long will it take to visit every tomb in Egypt?" Harris rephrased.

There was a long, uncomfortable pause.

"...You stole from every tomb in Egypt?" the Warrior of Atonement asked skeptically.

"No, I just figure we'll have to visit all of them before you realize I didn't steal anything," Harris grumbled.

The Warrior of Atonement snorted.

"If you stole from every tomb in Egypt, then this will take many years," he said dryly.

"How many?" Harris demanded.

"At least twenty," said the Warrior of Atonement with a smile in his voice. "There are many tombs in Egypt."

"Then we're going to be together a long time," Harris retorted. "What you just said was basically a marriage proposal, so you might as well stop giving me the silent treatment!"

"I am not giving you the silent treatment."

"We've been out here for days and you've hardly said anything since we left!" Harris argued.

"What am I supposed to say?" asked the Warrior of Atonement.

"Tell me about yourself," said Harris. "What's your life been like? Did you have a family? Friends? A job? What are you most proud of? What's your biggest regret? Where did you grow up? Do you ever miss home? Did you have a lover? Where have you traveled? How many places have you gone? How did you learn to survive in the wilderness alone? And how were you..."

He blushed as he said quietly, "And how were you going to avoid doing you know what for this entire trip?"

"That is none of your concern!" the Warrior of Atonement shouted at him. "My past is just that, the past. Reviving it now will not change anything! And as for... for that, I will not discuss such a delicate and personal matter with a tomb robber!"

"HEY!" Harris shouted back, his hands clutching his ears. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU. NEITHER CAN THE GODS. CAN YOU SPEAK LOUDER PLEASE?"

Harris could feel the glare directed at the back of his head.

"The moment you realize that I'm not a tomb robber, you will owe me a very big apology," Harris snarled. "I didn't come here from a completely different cluster of universes Gods know how far away, just to be pushed around by you. This is my isekai dammit. I know you have the best of intentions, but seriously, gimme a fucking break!"

"You... come from another universe?" asked the Warrior of Atonement, sounding astonished.

"Yes!" Harris snapped. "Can't you tell just by looking at what I'm wearing?"

"Your clothes are indeed strange," said the Warrior of Atonement. "But other universes?"

"These clothes weren't made by hand," said Harris, gesturing at his dirty, worn out yellow polo shirt, dark khaki shorts, white socks and tennis shoes. "This isn't how clothes naturally look on their own."

"You claim your clothes were made with divine intervention, then," said the Warrior of Atonement, skeptically.

"No, I'm not," Harris corrected him in frustration. "It's like... you know how you'd use a wheelbarrow to carry loads that are too heavy to lift with your arms alone? It's like that, except for knitting instead of carrying things."

"Ah," said the Warrior of Atonement.

"Honestly, being yanked out of my home universe was kinda traumatic," Harris continued. "Not saying I don't like this place, it's definitely a nice change of pace and feels like I'm on an adventure, which is what I've always wanted, but I don't know if I'll ever make it back home, and that terrifies me. For all its flaws, my world was nowhere near as poor as this one. We had hot and cold running water in nearly every residence, even some of the poorest ones. We had electricity to power our tools and make them even more useful. We had thermostats to control how hot or cold our buildings were. Every residence and most buildings in general had at least one toilet. And if I wanted to bathe, I could use clean water to do it, rather than the shitty river water of the Nile. And the best part of it all, I could talk to almost anyone in the world across vast distances, no matter how far. Even in my loneliest moments, I could still send an instant letter to someone in a nation far, far away and expect to get a reply back instantly. Or at least they could reply instantly if they wanted to. It was a bit lacking when it came to spiritual stuff, but at least I wouldn't have to go through old age before the age of thirty, like poor people in this world do. And—"

"I believe you," the Warrior of Atonement interrupted him.

"...Thank you," said Harris.

"It seems I have gravely misjudged you," the Warrior of Atonement continued. "I am sorry."

"It's okay," said Harris. "It's not your fault. You didn't know. How could you have?"

"I stole from you," the Warrior of Atonement argued. "I do not deserve your forgiveness that easily."

He took one hand off the horse's reins to dig into the bag hanging from its sides. He pulled out Harris' deck and returned it to him.

"Thank you," Harris said graciously and pocketed it. Then he felt something physically and uncomfortably pleasurable happen, and his face turned beet-red, his breath catching in his throat.

"I am sor―" the Warrior of Atonement started, sounding mortified and deeply apologetic.

"Don't be," Harris interrupted him wearily. "We've been traveling alone together for several days now, and I'm guessing you've been going solo a lot longer. Not your fault. But maybe we should make camp for the night."

"Agreed," said the Warrior of Atonement. He stopped the horse and dismounted, then offered Harris a hand to help him down too.

Harris accepted it, remembering how clumsy his last few attempts to dismount the horse were. One of these days he'd get it right, he was sure.

They set up the campfire and laid out the sleeping mat on the ground. Then there were four flashes of red light as the Warrior of Atonement summoned four Spear Spewers to guard them while they slept.

"I still can't get over how weird it is to see goblins in Ancient Egypt," said Harris. It feels so out of place."

"Hey, those goblins are protecting your sorry ass," said one of the Spear Spewers. "So watch who you're calling weird, tomb robber."

"I'm not a tomb robber," said Harris, annoyed.

"Yeah right," said another one of the Spear Spewers. "Then where did you get those mini-tablets?"

"He speaks the truth," said the Warrior of Atonement.

"What!? Really?" asked the third Spear Spewer in shock.

"But Tony, I thought you said he was a tomb robber!" the fourth Spear Spewer said.

"I was wrong," said the Warrior of Atonement, regretfully.

"Tony, seriously?" asked Harris, laughing.

"Easier than always calling him Warrior of Atonement," said the first Spear Spewer.

"Yeah," said the second. "So we just call him Tony."

Harris continued laughing.

"So if you aren't a tomb robber, what are you still doing here then?" asked the third.

"Yeah! You don't need to return your mini-tablets to the tombs because they were yours to begin with!" said the fourth.

"I was thinking of returning him to Waset," said Tony.

"You probably shouldn't," said Harris. "They'll arrest you on sight. Or at least I think they will."

"Why?" asked Tony.

"I rescued the pharaoh," Harris answered.

Tony swore. Or at least Harris thought he did, it wasn't an English swear word.

"We don't have to go back there you know," said Harris. "Before you kidnapped me, I was with a group of travelers who were going to give me a tour of Egypt. You could give me that tour instead."

"For what purpose?" asked Tony bitterly. "We will be on the run from the law."

"I could vouch for you if they catch us, you know," said Harris.

"No, you could not," said Tony.

"Why not?" asked Harris.

Tony seemed to steel himself for a moment, then said, "Because the pharaoh is my son."

"Ah," said Harris. There was a pause as he digested this information. Pieces started clicking together.

"Does the pharaoh know you're alive?" he asked.

"No," Tony said heavily. "He does not."

"And those golden trinkets he and his priests have," Harris continued. "The relics. Did you make them?"

Tony eyed him strangely and answered, "Yes. I gave the order. My brother carried it out. He did not tell me what my order required of him. But I should have known."

"It required the deaths of the Set Ma'at villagers?" asked Harris.

Now Tony was giving him a very strange look. Then he sighed.

"How did you know?"

"I didn't," said Harris. "But I suspected. Last question. Was your old name 'Ahknamkanon'?"

"No, it was not," said Tony.

"Didn't think so, but I just thought I'd check."

"It was Thutmose," said Tony.

"Okay," said Harris. An idea began to take shape in his mind. An insane, brilliant, wonderful idea.

"You want to destroy the relics, right?" he asked.

"Yes," said Tony.

"Then we'll need to find a spell that can destroy artifacts," Harris said firmly.

"I thought you said you were not a tomb robber," said Tony.

"I'm not," said Harris. "But it isn't tomb robbing if we get permission first and return the spells later."

"You propose we seek out the aid of the dead," said Tony, his eyes widening. "We would enter the tombs, but not to steal from them."

"Yeah," said Harris. "I don't know if this world has an afterlife or not. My home world didn't. But if we can't talk to the dead we could just talk to their descendants or something. They could tell us how the dead might have felt when they were alive. About our request for help, I mean."

Tony stared at him.

"Their spells could help defend Egypt without the relics," he said slowly. "It is unprecedented. Unthinkable. Beyond taboo. The living may not trespass in the homes of the dead."

"Unless they invited us in?" asked Harris.

"Indeed," said Tony. "But persuading them to do so..."

"I'm a hero-in-training from another universe. And you're the last pharaoh, before your son took the throne I mean. They might make an exception for us."

"Perhaps," said Tony. "But we must show them humility and respect."

"Obviously," said Harris. "We'll need to be on our best behavior. That's kinda a given. They won't wanna help us otherwise, right?"

"No, they would not," Tony answered.

He grinned at Harris.

Harris grinned back, feeling the cliche sensation of butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to see Tony grin like that more often. Then another thought occurred to him.

"Oh, almost forgot to ask!" he said. "If this succeeds, will you help me find my way back home?"

"I will," Tony promised.

Harris held out a hand.

"It's a deal then," he said.

Tony eyed the hand, confused.

"Do you not do handshakes here?" asked Harris.

"Handshakes?" asked Tony.

"You take the other person's hand in yours and shake it," said Harris.

"Holding hands seems a strange way to seal an agreement," Tony noted.

"Really?" asked Harris, surprised. "Huh, I guess it hasn't been invented here yet. Strange."

He dropped his hand.

Tony then held his own out to shake.

"It is a strange custom," he said. "But not a bad one."

Harris took his hand and shook it. Then Tony pulled him into a hug.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"You're welcome," Harris said into his shoulder.

Several long moments passed. Then the first Spear Spewer said, "Just kiss already!"

Harris and Tony sprang apart.

"Shut up," Harris told the annoying little goblins.

Tony laughed.

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Author's note: And that's the end of episode 5! I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Don't forget to review!

Edit: accidentally had Tony use a contraction which he wouldn't naturally use. Fixed.