Sacrifice
"Charlotte! Charlotte! I don't love her you know…" Sidney waking up from sleep plagued by dreams. He got up from his bed and went to pour himself a drink to dull the pain. The hurt and anguish of that day flooding back. It had been 21 years but yet it felt like it had only occurred the other day.
He had been forced to let go the woman he loved. Charlotte had been the sacrifice and looking back he should had been stronger. He should have let his brother pay for his poor choices, but Sidney still felt he owed him. Tom had always been effective in reminding Sidney he had paid off his debts and it was Sidney's turn to save the family.
It had broken his heart to tell Charlotte he was going to marry Eliza and watch her graciously accept the news. It had been pure agony when he finally saw her at the Babbington wedding. He had avoided her by staying in London but was forced to face Charlotte at the wedding. She was so beautiful and all he could think about as he stood at the front of the church was her. His unknowable countenance cracked when she bravely looked him directly in the eye and asked about his own wedding preparations. He struggled to speak as he desperately wanted to tell Charlotte his true feelings.
His mind was consumed with Charlotte and later that evening Sidney found himself at her window. He knew he shouldn't but he threw pebbles at her window. Without thinking he scaled the building to pull himself through her open window. He couldn't stay away from her and with the knowledge that they may never see each other again all 'good sense' was forgotten. All the love that had been bottled up was revealed in that one night of passion.
"Tell me you don't think badly of me" when pleading with Charlotte on the cliff road he had not been referring to his engagement to Eliza but that night. Tom had revealed to Sidney that very morning he had amassed more debts and the marriage to Eliza couldn't be broken. Sidney had stormed out of the house and stood on the cliff knowing Charlotte was leaving. He watched the carriage as it travelled along the cliff road and couldn't let her go without saying goodbye.
Sidney closing his eyes now knowing he had let her go while she had been carrying his child. Charlotte wouldn't have known for weeks and by the time she had discovered her pregnancy he would have been married.
Rubbing his face, Sidney found his hands were wet… he was finally grieving for the loss of Charlotte and his son.
Sidney was not the only one awake …. Charlotte was also up remembering the past. She had been young and naive. Her mother had often warned her about her impulsive character. Susan had written directly to Charlotte after reading the engagement notice of Sidney Parker and Eliza Campion. Susan deciding, she wanted to take this young woman under her protection. She found Charlotte Heywood interesting and wanted to give her opportunities. Charlotte travelling directly to London from Sanditon.
"I don't think badly of you" Charlotte trying to be strong as she could see Sidney was struggling to maintain his composure. She had heard the heated argument between the brothers and knew Sidney must marry Eliza. Charlotte holding on to their stolen moment and chose not to look through the back window as it would break her heart. She had cried the whole way to London. Susan allowing her to grieve and ensured she was busy with various social engagements.
The day before the marriage providence provided Charlotte with a distraction. Susan's brother Hector had suddenly arrived with his baby daughter. His wife had suddenly died from birthing complications and he was at his wits end. Charlotte who was a natural with children took Harriet and cared for her. Charlotte instantly loving the little girl who had just lost her mother. Charlotte was too busy soothing a distressed Harriet and didn't have time to think about the wedding of Sidney.
Hector found Miss Heywood a godsend and admired her intelligence. They both had suffered losses and found comfort with one another. Susan noticing her brother taking better care of himself and often used his daughter as an excuse to spend more time with Charlotte.
"Susan… I am with child… I don't know what to do?" Charlotte remembering back to the day she had shared her news. Her future was ruined, and her family would suffer for her lack of constraint. Hector had been in the library hearing the whole conversation and took matters into his own hands. Charlotte had already proven to be a good mother and he had come to care for Charlotte's personal wellbeing.
"You mean you are willing to marry me and claim my child as your own?" Charlotte asking Hector after he proposed marriage.
"I confess you have become important to me and I want to care for you. This child should not suffer for the choices of his/her parents" honestly spoke Hector. As Laird of the Montrose he had saved many a bastard children and placed them under the protection of his family. Charlotte didn't want her child to be labelled a bastard or be given away to an orphanage. In the course of 2 months Hector had shown his kind character and she accepted his proposal. Hector was a good man and they had bonded through their own grief which in time turned to love.
Charlotte finally settling in the library and spent time thinking about that period in her life. She had hated Sidney for his weakness but Hector help her forgive him. Hector had healed her heart as she had done the same for him. Throughout their marriage they had weathered many storms and she missed him every day.
Charlotte sensing a person's presence observed Sidney M standing in the doorway. Charlotte catching her breath as it reminded her of the time Sidney had sought her out after the regatta. Sidney M was taller than Sidney which had come from the Heywood side. He was broader in the shoulders and his natural fighting abilities were inherited from Sidney. Hector had a similar hair colouring and physique as Sidney. When Hector's mother pointed out these features between her son and grandchild the Montrose family attributed all other features to Charlotte's family. Sidney M had taken on most of Hector's expressions except his smile.
"Mathair!" You should be sleeping" Sidney M dropping his head to the side while observing his mother with concern. He walked over and settled himself next to his mother and knew she was thinking about Sidney Parker.
"Sidney never knew I was pregnant as I chose not to tell him" Charlotte finally confessing to her son who placed his arm around her. With his soft comforting words Charlotte told her son about the summer in Sanditon and particularly the brooding Mr Sidney Parker. She told her son about Sidney's character and honourable action. Charlotte also explained how she had come to be married to Hector Montrose.
"Your Uncle Steward regularly complained about your name and Hector would argue that the Montrose family needed new names instead of recycling old ones" smiled Charlotte as she remembered her Hector. Hector had decided that they name their son 'Sidney Hector' as the healthy babe was blessed to have two fathers. It was at that moment Charlotte knew she loved Hector. Hector himself realising his own love for Charlotte as he heard her bring Sidney M into the world. They had Elizabeth but after nearly losing Charlotte to childbirth Hector decreed, they didn't need any more children.
'I have my son and he will be the next Laird of the Montrose family… I need my wife by my side' Hector kissing Charlotte as she cradled Elizabeth.
Sidney M smiled as he thought about his father Hector and the many lesson he had learned from that wise man. He thanked his mother for sharing more from her past and giving him insight about his birth father. Sidney M had promised Hector on his death bed he would protect the Montrose family, and this had to be strongly considered… not to mention his Uncle Steward. He now had to decide how he was to proceed with his birth father.
"Come… Mathair I need you to sleep" Sidney M taking his mother back to her room and ensured she was comfortable before returning to his own bedroom.
Sidney M knew he needed sleep as there were many matters to manage and Sidney Parker was one.