Hello, and happy Easter to all who celebrate it! Sorry this took me such a long time to get up, but on the bright side I am now several chapters ahead so will not leave you waiting so long next time! In fact, I'm going to start uploading twice a week- Sundays and Wednesdays, just to make sure I stick to a schedule! Thank you as always for all the reviews, follows and favourites- they are hugely appreciated and always make me smile!

Athos was surprised to not see D'artagnan as he entered the Garrison the next morning. He was slightly late due to the extra bottle of wine he had consumed after Aramis' news last night; in truth, he remembered little of getting home, but had woken up in his bed that morning, so assumed Aramis and Porthos had helped him home. Any embarrassment over this behaviour had faded many years ago; Athos knew his brothers held no judgement, and he would do the same for them without thinking.

Athos sat heavily at their usual table, squinting at the two men who grinned at him.

"We weren't sure we would see you this morning" jested Aramis. "Having left you with your head in a bucket, we were rather expecting you to miss muster." He was joking of course; they had seen Athos drink far more in the past, but he had never missed morning muster.

Nor for that matter had D'artagnan, so it was even more of a surprise to the men when he failed to appear for his morning duties. His failure to attend was not missed by Treville, who drew the three men aside after muster to inquire about D'artagnan's whereabouts. Normally, the three men would cover for the lad, but with yesterday's events, they were rather concerned for him.
"We're not sure" admitted Aramis. "He left the tavern last night, but we haven't seen him since."

Treville looked grim. "I offered D'artagnan some time off yesterday, but he declined." he revealed. "Perhaps he has simply thought twice, although I would expect him to inform me."
Porthos shook his head. "Nah, the lad wouldn't take time off even if his 'ead was hangin' by a thread."

"I suggest you three go and check on him then- and if there is nothing wrong with him, I want to see him immediately." said Treville sternly, his face a mixture of concern and impatience. Turning away, he strode back up the stairs and into his office.

"Do you think it has something to do with yesterday?" asked Porthos quietly; clearly, Aramis had filled him in on events.

The answer to his question rushed through the Garrison gates a moment later.

THE MUSKETEERS

"Constance, what is wrong?" asked Aramis quickly, concerned to see tear tracks on the woman's face. Constance was a strong woman; he had never seen her visibly upset before.

"It's D'artagnan" she said. Aramis' heart clenched- he knew he should have checked in on him after the events of the previous day.

"What's happened?" he asked sharply.

"He's gone" said Constance, her voice cracking to show her distress underneath. "I woke this morning to find this note folded on top of his pauldron."

Aramis led her to sit and took the note from her. He read aloud:

"My dearest Constance,

I apologise for what I must do, for I know it will cause you pain. I made a mistake yesterday and it has led me to realise I cannot continue as I am. I have allowed my thoughts to cloud my actions, and despite my best efforts, I have failed at concealing them.

I promise I shall return to you my love, but for the sake of those I hold most dear, I must leave for a while. I know this will confuse you, but it is for the best.

Please tell the Musketeers that I am sorry for abandoning my post. I shall return, but I understand if there is no position waiting for me. I would rather sacrifice my pauldron than have their blood on my hands.

I love you.

D'artagnan"

Silence followed Aramis' words. Everyone around the table needed time to digest the words. Athos silently took the note to read again, before crumpling it in his fist.

"I don't understand" said Constance. "Did something happen yesterday? I was asleep when he returned."

Aramis sighed. "D'artagnan almost missed an assassin; his shot narrowly missed the King. He was strongly affected by what happened, but I assumed he was alright. Clearly I was wrong."

"We all acted too slowly, Aramis." said Athos heavily. "I have suspected there was something wrong with him for a while, but did not wish to push him away. I tried confronting him yesterday but he did not wish to open up; I assumed with time he would confide in us. I was wrong."

"What do you mean, something is wrong?" cried Constance. "I am his wife, how have I not noticed something was amiss?"

"'e's been very good at hidin' it" said Porthos, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders. "I didn't know anything was wrong until Aramis told me yesterday- don't blame yourself."

"No one is to blame" declared Aramis, not noticing the way Athos refused to make eye contact. "There is no use blaming ourselves, but we must find D'artagnan and reassure him that he belongs with us. Any thoughts on where he may have gone?"

"There's only one place I can think of," said Constance. "He didn't take any money so he cannot mean to stay in a boarded accommodation, so I think he may have returned to Gascony. He has connections there, places he could stay at no cost."

"We shall head for Gascony then" decided Athos. "I doubt we shall meet him on the road if he left during the night; he will be several hours ahead of us, days if he took a good horse. I must clear this with the Captain."

With that, he sprung up the stairs and disappeared into the Captain's office.

THE MUSKETEERS

Within the hour, the three men were ready to depart. Treville had given them leave for as long as their mission took, promising that if the King asked for them, he would tell him they were on an urgent mission. This was not a lie; D'artagnan was one of the most promising young talents Treville had seen in a while. He would hate to lose him before he was able to reach his full potential.

Athos was internally fuming. He couldn't believe that D'artagnan would give up his place in the Musketeers and choose to abandon his brothers over simply confiding in them. He had given D'artagnan ample opportunity to open up, but instead he chose to leave? Athos knew that the mind often played tricks, especially if in the vulnerable position D'artagnan seemed to be in, but this choice made no sense to him.

He continued to silently brood as they rode out of Paris. Around them, the scenery changed from bustling Parisian streets to quiet green countryside, and the silence between the men became more apparent.

"What is it, Athos?" Aramis finally broke the silence, not being able to bear the tension emanating from the swordsman. "If you're worried about D'artagnan, you can share with us"

"I'm not worried" snapped the usually calm Athos, his tone immediately betraying him.

"'e just means we all are'' defended Porthos. "The lad shouldn't have left without talking to us, but there is no point beating ourselves up over it, we just 'ave to focus on getting 'im back."

"Exactly, and we all know your propensity for torturing yourself" said Aramis seriously, hoping this situation would not send Athos into a self-deprecation spiral.

"I know" sighed Athos. "I am sorry, I just cannot believe D'artagnan would choose to leave us when he could have simply asked for help. I don't know what he was thinking."

"When do any of us?" laughed Aramis. "That lad is a riddle wrapped in an enigma, I'm not sure we'll ever understand what goes on in his head."

"Nor should we" responded Porthos firmly. "All we have to do is 'elp 'im when 'e needs it."

Athos smiled internally. This is why he had found his place with these men; they did not question or judge any decisions he made, they were simply unswervingly loyal and always had his back. The simplicity of Porthos' statement summed up their brotherhood perfectly.

FInally, Athos understood D'artagnan's actions. Athos knew these men truly had his back in any situation from experience. They protected him in missions and battle, but also in more intimate ways; they had dragged him away from the bottle, been there to listen when he needed them, and often lended their support simply by being there.

D'artagnan had yet to learn this. Despite having been with the Musketeers for a while, Athos was sure he was not aware of how deep the bond ran. D'artagnan knew the men physically had his back, but he wasn't sure D'artagnan knew of their unswerving devotion to him in every aspect of his life. This was something he would only learn with experience, and Athos was determined to give it to him.

The three men continued riding in more companionable silence.