Summary: Sebastian receives the shock of his life and Blaine learns there were more consequences to the Warblers' steroid scandal than he was aware.
Notes:
The Mandalorian warning for last chapter goes double for this one. And I guess Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi too.
There are 2 "Flashback" scenes. The entire dialogue is in italics.
Bella is 2 ½ because by due to my calculations that is as old as canon would allow (explanations coming soon). Reminder from Chapter 1, she is "wickedly smart & off-the charts advanced in verbal ability"
Reminder: While this is a story of two broken men, it is ultimately Sebastian's story. It had to begin with Blaine because it began from the moment "I Lived" ended. I don't want to seem like I'm changing POV willy-nilly. There's a purpose to my madness.
Warning…check the tags. Some were added since I first posted.
I knew it was coming but this chapter was still a hard one to write.
Please read the end notes
Friday PM
"The kitten worked last night Mom but I don't know if he will tonight. Bella got a little upset watching her show."
Flashback
"Wow! I can't believe they did that! Sam has got to be freaking…What's wrong?"
"Why didn't Grogu Mando-Daddy go with him, Daddy?"
"Yeah? What kind of father just hands over his kid to some stranger? I don't care if he thought this guy was King of all the Jedis because he could murder the murder-bots with his glow stick!"
"Bella, Sweetie, Mando didn't go with Grogu because it wasn't his job. His job was to find a Jedi to train him. But he took off his mask so Grogu would know his face because he promised he would see him again. And Sebastian Alexander Smythe, Luke Skywalker IS King of all the Jedis and if you EVER call a Lightsaber a glow stick again…"
"Uh-oh, Ash. Daddy say 3 names. You in trou-ble."
End of Flashback
"Did you get Kurt's number blocked? You're on the no contact list, but in case he decides to be stupid."
"Don't worry, Blaine. Your Aunt Tammy's neighbor boy was able to come fix my phone before he had to start staying home."
"Neighbor boy? The nearest cabin is over three miles away."
"It's only a few minutes across the lake."
When Pamela offered to stay with her sister, Blaine thought they'd be at the house in Denver not the family cabin outside Aspen. While the remote location was ideal for avoiding the virus, he worried about the sisters' abilities to handle daily tasks of surviving in the wilderness (although 6,000+ sq. ft. of luxury "wilderness"). He finally felt better when Cooper reminded him of Grandpa Jack's extensive (and expensive) wine cellar. That alone should keep the two of them entertained and out of too much trouble without company to invite over.
"Blaine…"
"Sorry, Mom. Just thinking about you and Aunt Tammy up there by yourselves."
"We're fine. I'm worried about you. What were you thinking wanting to stay with Leroy and her? After what the bitch tried to pull with your ex?"
"Mother…"
"Blaine Devon Anderson…"
"Moooom" he whined in a tone to rival his toddler's "Not all 3 names!"
"Yes, all…3…names! And you will listen to me for once. You'll never be free of your ex until you cut her off completely."
"I want Rachel to be in Bella's life."
"You were stuck with your ex the last 2 years because of her."
"It wasn't unreasonable for Rachel to want us to try couples counseling after she just gave us a baby."
"But was she doing it for Bella or so her bestie could keep the lifestyle you provided?"
*Knock*
"Mom, Sebastian is here. I've got to go."
"Fine, but this conversation isn't over. I love you and my give my sweet grandbaby a kiss from Grammy Pammy. Oh, and we're still going to talk about Sebastian."
Blaine closed his laptop and took a deep breath before going to the door. His mother…well, she tried. But was it all in his head that she seemed to try harder the closer it got to his birthday? "Thanks for saving me."
"Care to explain?" Sebastian practically growled, pointing at the tablet he'd shoved into Blaine's hands. He then took a seat in what had become known as his chair, impatiently awaiting an immediate response.
Does this mean Kylo Ren kills Baby Yoda at Luke's Jedi Academy?
Blaine walked to the couch, sat down and calmly put the tablet on the coffee table. "What did I say NOT to do?"
"Go online to the fan sites. Blaine…"
"Nope"
"They…"
"Nuh-uh. What did I say we WOULD do?"
"Watch Star Wars Movies with Friday dinners."
Flashback
"We have 7 Fridays. That gets us through the Prequels, Rogue One and the Originals. You'll understand Luke more after that. When we get a rainy weekend, we can throw in some Clone Wars."
"They toons, Ash!"
"Cartoons? You want me to watch cartoons?"
"They'll explain the Dark Saber"
"Fine. But when we're watching movies, we eat movie food for dinner…hotdogs, pizza, nachos, popcorn, ice cream, candy, soda and NO vegetables."
"Yay! Movie food!"
"Counter offer of two vegetables. Pizza sauce, salsa or ketchup doesn't count. Tomatoes are fruit."
"Popcorn!"
"Bella, popcorn isn't a vegetable."
"Daaaaddddy, corn is veggie."
"That's it, Anderson. Your kid is officially the most brilliant kid on the planet...or any planet…or universe because of the multiverse thing. Zut! You two are turning me into a nerd!"
End of Flashback
"So, no, emo Adam Driver won't kill Grogu. And I've been meaning to tell you…swearing in French, very creative." A text popped up from Cooper saying to call ASAP.
"What's wrong?"
"My brother. I just got off Zoom with Mom which means when she logged off with me, she called him. They're a 1-2 punch. Coop goes after Kurt and Mom gets Rachel."
Rachel? Again? "Ok, I can't wait. Is Rachel part of this Tit for Tat deal we made? Because she keeps coming up and I don't know why except she's Hummel's best friend. Is she still Hummel's best friend? And why do your eyes look like they're going to pop out of your head? And when did you start wearing glasses?"
"You seriously don't know?"
"Know what? About Rachel or the glasses?" Sebastian became even more confused when Blaine picked up his phone. "Who are you calling?"
"I'm not calling anyone. Rachel is Bella's biological mother."
*click*
What…the…fuck? "Excuse me? Did you say? Berry is...?"
"Yeah, one night Kurt and I got in this huge fight. I went to Rachel's. She had had a fight with Jesse. We both got shit-faced drunk. For some reason we started talking about our kiss in high school. 9 months later…"
*click*
Sebastian realized a few seconds too late Blaine was kidding. "Surrogacy, Smythe, surrogacy" he managed to say once he stopped laughing. "Rachel was a child of surrogacy and wanted to do the same."
That made more sense. "And you wanted pictures because…?"
Blaine showed Sebastian the photos he had taken. "Not for me. I'm saving these for later. If Santana ever found out I told you about Rachel being Bella's bio mom and didn't get pictures…"
Yeah, that bitch would take him out by the short hairs. "Smart move. How is Satan anyway?"
"Good. Brittany's gone back to MIT and Santana is currently a stay-at-home-mom/enforcer."
"Enforcer?"
"Anytime the MIT people start weirding Brittany out, Santana goes in scares the crap out of them. It's an unusual arrangement but seems to work." Blaine thought Sebastian would have some witty comeback but instead, nothing. "Is everything alright?"
Maybe it was the thought of Santana Lopez being a mother, but adulthood had suddenly smacked Sebastian upside the head. "I've got to tell you something and I'm still figuring out how."
"I thought we agreed to me spilling my guts tomorrow and you on Sunday."
"This isn't about me, it's about the Warblers. No, it's more about me. Maybe…"
"You're rambling"
"I smoke pot" Sebastian blurted out. Not how he wanted to say it but at least it was out in the open. "Medical Marijuana for my pain management. I will never smoke around Monkey, I swear. And I never smoke enough to be impaired. Of course, Wesley and all the DARA Committee members are aware."
Blaine reached over from where he was sitting and took Sebastian's hand in his. "And?"
"What do you mean And?" He'd been worrying how to tell Blaine since his call with Trent and he acted like…"You're acting like this isn't a big deal."
"Do you want me to throw a fit?"
"No but…well, something would be nice."
Blaine smiled that smile that use to secretly melt 16 year-old Sebastian's heart and gave his hand a squeeze. "I understand more than you realize. I had the crap beaten out of me once. It's the reason I first came to Dalton. My pain was excruciating but only lasted a few weeks. Your pain has lasted years. I would never judge how you manage it. And as for Bella, you met her 2 days ago and I already know you would totally murder any murder-bots that got anywhere near her whether or not you had a Lightsaber."
"I totally would" Sebastian mumbled, unable to say more for fear he would show his true feelings.
"So, I know you wouldn't do anything to harm her."
They sat silent, both ignoring, yet extremely aware, that their hands remained clasped. Eventually they parted and Sebastian asked "When you said you were beaten, was it because…?" For some reason, he couldn't finish the question.
"It was after a Sadie Hawkins Dance at my first High School. I had the audacity to ask another boy."
Why had no one ever told him? "I'm so sorry, Blaine."
"For what? You didn't hit me with a baseball bat."
"No, but I did hit you in a way and you're wearing glasses."
"Oh, no. That has nothing to do with the Slushie. I'm not saying throwing rock salt was…there was enough blame to go around."
"And you forgive me?"
"How about there's nothing to forgive?"
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't find out until later, I wouldn't have needed surgery, at least at that time, except I wore my contacts way too much. I was hiding the fact I wore glasses from a certain someone. The salt accelerated the damage I was doing to myself. The surgery wound up correcting my vision and I only need glasses now for reading or computer, like how I was talking with my Mom when you knocked. You'll probably see me wear glasses a lot when we work together."
"Same here."
"You?"
"Yes, but I've always worn reading glasses, just ask the guys." Sebastian mentally braced himself. Now for the hard part. "I didn't mean to say that but I guess it's a good transition."
"So, we're finally going to talk about why the Warblers hate me?"
"We never hated you. Ok, they didn't. Honestly, I really didn't either. Ok, to be really honest, I thought you had turned into a narcissistic asshole like your husband. To be fair, I've had many, many anger issues since the accident. Ok, to be really really honest…"
"Well, all of that sure sounds like hate to me."
This wasn't going the way Sebastian planned. Of course, he technically didn't have a plan. "Blaine, I'm doing a shitty job with this and it's going to get even more fucked up with you jumping in with hurt feelings every 5 seconds. Either you listen to what I have to say or we let it go. Put it in a box and ignore this talk ever happened. We can keep the Tit for Tat deal without this."
"Just tell me" Blaine sighed in frustration. The not knowing was worse than anything.
Or so he thought
Without saying a word, Sebastian reached into his pocket, pulled out a silver ID bracelet and handed it to him. Blaine recognized it right away. "I saw you wearing this when Bella and I arrived the first day. I thought it was unusual because it's rather expensive yet you wore it on the same wrist as that leather band. Then when we got back from the restroom, and she climbed in your lap, I noticed it was gone. However, so much has happened since then, I'd forgotten about it."
"Look at the inscription on top"
OWAW
"Let me guess…Once a Warbler, Always a Warbler? But what's the inscription on the other side…I'm In?"
"That's the hard part" Sebastian told him, taking back the bracelet. "But we have to start at the beginning. There are three former Dalton students who have sung with the Warblers but are not recognized as alumni…Hunter Clarington, Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson. The Warblers don't hate you, Blaine. We don't acknowledge you."
Blaine's emotions read clearly on his face…confusion, anger, but mostly, gut-wrenching pain. "But, but…I, I'm Blaine Warbler."
"And that was the first thing I thought when I saw you, only in my head it was Blaine Fucking Warbler."
"Then…" There were a million questions running through Blaine's head, but only one that mattered "Why?"
"This is really, really, REALLY bad timing but do you remember your proposal to Hummel?"
The Looking at someone like they had grown another head trait Blaine and Bella shared must actually be in their DNA because the look Blaine was giving Sebastian was amplified by 100 from anything he had seen before.
"Seriously?"
"Not the Hummel part, the Warbler part. Did you notice anyone was missing?"
Blaine thought back "Thad, but he never liked Kurt. There was this whole You Mock Us incident."
"I heard about that."
"Oh, I'm sure you did."
"Anyone else?"
It took a minute but then it was obvious. "Jeff. That blond hair in the middle of the group did stand out. But Thad was there when I asked the Warblers to participate. Where was Jeff?"
"Already gone."
"Where?"
"Malibu. In rehab…for steroids."
Blaine was gone around 10 minutes. Sebastian had a bottle of water waiting for him when he got back from the bathroom. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"You're kidding, right?"
Not his finest moment "No thanks"
Confirmation was unnecessary. "The one good thing your over-the-top display of hearts and flowers did was give Nick a kick in the ass. With his parents' blessing, he dropped his acceptance to Harvard and rammed thru admissions to Pepperdine. He and Jeff were married last year and run a successful chain of yoga studios there in Malibu. Jeff the yoga part, Nick the business part. Is something funny? I mean, you're not laughing but is that a hint of a smile?"
"It's just, Jeff runs a yoga business and the other blond guy I know, Sam, one of the things he's considering now that he's unemployed…"
"Um…newsflash. Why is Currently the most successful Show Choir Director in the country unemployed? And from the school that literally handed him the job?"
Blaine was kicking himself. Here he was forcing people into keeping his whereabouts secret and he had let out Sam's secret without thinking. It was too late now. He didn't see Sebastian letting this go. "Now's not the time. I'll explain tomorrow when it falls under the dome of silence."
"Dome of silence?"
"I don't care if it sounds nerdy. I'm tired of the word secrets. So, what happened to Thad?" Blaine noticed Sebastian rubbing his thumb back and forth against the underside of the ID bracelet. "You haven't mentioned I'm In yet. I'm assuming he has something to do with it."
"He has everything to do with it. Most of the guys who took steroids just stopped and with a few days of withdrawals, it was over. Jeff was the glaring exception. Thad, he hid what was going on from everyone…the Warblers, his family, his doctors. He became addicted to the opioids he was prescribed to deal with withdrawal pain. None of us it realized until the day before your proposal."
"How?"
"He overdosed." When Blaine looked as if he was going to vomit again, Sebastian quickly added "He was just hospitalized and went to rehab after he recovered. In support, we also pledged to never take opioids again…I'm In. It became knowingly take after my accident because they pumped me full of them. At that time all Warblers, not just our year, took the pledge, updated their medical records and we got the bracelets. There's a medic alert chip next to the I'm In inscription. You are not a true Warbler unless you've taken the pledge and have the bracelet."
"It's why you use medical marijuana."
"Yes"
"And where is Thad now?"
"We don't know. He never fully recovered. Been in and out of rehabs. His family finally cut him off but we have a private eye on retainer looking for him."
"Is he why Trent is becoming an Addiction Specialist?"
"You catch on quick."
"Not quick enough. If this happened the day before the proposal why didn't the administration stop it?"
Shit, he did catch on quick. It was going to be difficult going into this without revealing what he couldn't say. "They didn't want anyone knowing and said if we told anyone there would be hell to pay. Oh god Blaine, the cover-up on this was unbelievable. We didn't find out the true extent until I began working on the rebuild and had access to documents people probably thought burned in the fire. At least my father did."
"Your father?"
Hold on…and perfect way to switch directions. "Did you honestly believe I knew about the steroids?"
"No, maybe, but you where there. I just assumed you didn't do them but tried to stop them in your own way. I believed you when you said you had changed."
"Thanks for that, I think. But besides trying to recruit you, during that time, I was more involved with lacrosse than the Warblers. We were good and I was trying to make the team at Columbia."
Now Blaine was completely lost. "Columbia? You went to Stanford."
"Yes, but the plan was always Columbia, just like Dear Old Dad, Xavier Smythe, Esq. former State's Attorney. Then I found out what he did."
"I don't understand"
"He knew about the steroids, although he made sure I was never involved. In other words, he controlled Hunter. Then Clarington had his roid-rage freakout and Xavier somehow made everything go away. Come to find out, he'd arranged for several other issues to magically disappear as well. Favors to keep certain indiscretions off my permanent record and not interfere with my Ivy League admission."
"Other issues?" Blaine almost slapped himself. "What happened with me. But I thought the New Directions and Warblers settled that themselves?"
Shit…SKIP! "I had applied to Stanford as a joke because Dalton made us apply to five schools. Xavier was living in NYC so, when I figured out what he'd done it was West Coast here I come."
"What do you mean by What he'd done?"
"Embezzlement, harassment lawsuits of multiple varieties, and various other misdemeanors and felonies that just vanished into thin air. It's probably the reason you couldn't get an official Dalton email. Can't get onto the Dalton server without one. A couple of unintentional keystrokes and you might have accidently found an incriminating document."
"Is that how you found out?"
"No, believe it or not, I found original documents in boxes in a warehouse. Like I said, someone must have thought they went up in flames. I turned them over to Wesley and DARA but by then they already knew the old administration was corrupt."
"Do the guys know?"
"Of course, they do. I told them everything, including Xavier's involvement with the steroids. I've faced up to what I've done here at Dalton because I would never abandon the Warblers."
Blaine got up and walked across the room. When he stopped he kept his back toward Sebastian. He couldn't look at him. "Unlike me."
"Yes, unlike you." Blaine flinched, but like the first night in the Warblers' Commons, Sebastian recognized he was in too deep to back out. "What did you expect me to say, Blaine? It's not that you left Dalton and the Warblers, it's that you kept coming back…again and again. Every time, the guys would ask Is this the one that will stick? Will he at least stay in contact longer than the week after whatever he wanted us for? Then your engagement to Hummel ended, which by the way, Beat won the pool we had on how long it would take for old Gayface to blow it up."
"You bet on how long it would take Kurt to end the engagement?"
"No, some of us idiots put money on you coming to your senses." Beat laughed in his face when he handed him the $1,000. "Anyway, you come back to Dalton to coach the Warblers, but don't get in touch with any of the old Warblers? Did you even consider it?"
"I was in the middle of a crippling depression." Or there was the truth. "I was embarrassed."
"Wes wasn't part of the spectacle. He would have listened if you picked up the phone."
"How do you know that?"
Blaine could hear Sebastian snickering what Tina would call his Evil Warbler laugh. "If you haven't guessed Wesley and Bev kind of adopted me making Wes the older brother I never wanted. We've spent the last 3 Christmas Eves getting drunk on Bev's Egg Nog. So, yeah, we talk and not just when we're plastered. And you know what, he doesn't blame you for shitty behavior. All this time and none of them do. Yes, they cut you off but they cut you off as half of Klaine. They blame Hummel."
"This is all about Kurt?"
"For them. Until I found out you were the anonymous donor, I 100% blamed you."
To Blaine, that last sentence was the most believable statement Sebastian made all evening. "Why?"
"Because I've had 4 fucking years of dealing with you not as Blaine Warbler but Blaine Anderson, former Dalton student. Former Dalton student who abandoned the school time and time again and then when asked to help rebuild couldn't be bothered. Yet, you bought a big fancy apartment in Manhattan. Put on some weird La Cage aux Folles wannabe in Lincoln Center, but wouldn't donate a dime to somewhere you professed to love. Now I know you donated anonymously and there is supposedly a complicated reasoning behind it but it doesn't erase 4 years of wondering What the Fuck!"
"What difference does it make now? Seriously, Sebastian, what difference? Kurt is out of my life, and yes, I did donate, but I can't take back the other things I've done."
"Would you? After what I told you, would you have come back to Dalton? After Dark Side?"
Blaine finally turned around to face Sebastian. It was obvious there had been many tears on both sides. "No. Every idiotic decision I've made, every person I've disappointed, every tear I've cried since I met Kurt on that staircase…I don't regret any of it. I wouldn't do one thing differently. I couldn't do one thing differently. Because if I did, I don't have Bella. That's not an option for me. She's all that matters. But Dark Side is that what if that sneaks in when I let myself think about the past. It always has been, it always will be."
Sebastian hadn't thought of how any of this tied to Bella, but it made perfect sense. Without Kurt, there's no Rachel and there's no Bella. The what if was another story. He knew exactly where Blaine was coming from. "You wouldn't have stopped the steroids. They would have hidden them from you the same way they hid them from me."
"But do ALL the guys think the way you do? Because if anyone asks if I regret not coming back and stopping Clarington, my answer is unequivocally no. So, if this means I can't be Blaine Warbler ever again, I accept that. However, I will take the pledge, I'm In, in honor of Thad and I'll call my attorneys on Monday to see what they can do to help with the search."
"Blaine…"
"Sebastian" Blaine wiped his eyes again and decided he was done. "I'm going to bed. We weren't supposed to get into the heavy shit tonight. Just…Bella and I will see you at dinner tomorrow, or since it's 2AM, this evening. Don't think you have to entertain us. There's a lot to do so I can have Bella ready for when I start work Monday. Good night."
He didn't bother to wait for Sebastian to leave.
TBC
Notes:
I told you it was hard to write. And when I said "madness" in the beginning note I did not mean bipolar although it might have seemed like it. There is a purposeful back and forth on how easily they seem to settle into "family life" only to realize they haven't dealt with problems that were there from the start.
Also, I admit I fibbed when I said "This is a story of two broken men". More like a "Band of broken brothers", at least this chapter. Canon had a way of bringing up serious topics and then not dealing with the fallout (except bringing up Blaine cheating for 3 seasons). If the Warblers took steroids (so stupid) there would be consequences. There would also be hurt feelings from Blaine being "Blaine Warbler" whenever it was convenient. But you had to know they didn't HATE Blaine.
Yes, there is a TBC, but for the most part the Warbler steroid backstory portion stays here. The next chapter is Blaine's story and explains why his donations were anonymous. It's much more fun. I like to describe his Great-granduncle as "bat-shit crazy"
"All 3 names" is from when you knew you were in big trouble as a kid because your parent would call you by your first, middle AND last name.
This will not be "Rachel Unfriendly" in that it will need a tag. This was Pamela being a Mama Bear but it might sow seeds in some people's thoughts down the road.
I'm getting Sebastian's French curse words off Google translate. We all know how that goes so if something is off please let me know.
Yes, I know cell phone cameras don't make a clicking noise.