Present day- Raven

I know my reaction was dramatic, I could feel the eyes on me and I could tell everyone is sick of this. Everyone is tired of my problems being their problems, more people have gotten hurt now because of me. Including Alfred. Somehow him getting hurt was worse than anything else to come to light recently. He was the only person who I was glad didn't insert themselves into that mess of a situation. I still feel panic coming to the surface making me wonder how I am ever going to be completely rid of the situation. The only way is if he gets what he wants or he ends up dead. Apparently some people think I should just give him what he wants.

I would rather die.

I feel a hand on my shoulders and I turn around to face it's owner. Victor looks down on me with sympathy and I can feel some anger in him too. I want to apologize for this, for everything but before I can open my mouth his hand goes up to silence me.

"Before you say anything just know no one in there is blaming you Rae" He says I sniffle shaking my head.

"No one else should be in this. It is my problem and others being into it have gotten too many people hurt" I reply he nods but doesn't reply "Alfred didn't deserve this. Dick didn't deserve to lose control of his own body."

"You didn't deserve what happened to you either Rae...Slade's a sick fuck none of this is on you" He answers I suck in a deep breath as if the air around me is finite. I can feel my legs shake slightly or maybe that's the engine of the floating space thing we are on. I look out of the large glass windows to my left. I can see all of Europe from here. I wonder what made them want to build this place in space. They can't actually see anything from here. Well maybe Superman.

"I shouldn't have left. I was selfish" I say. I know how dumb it sounds but all of this wouldn't be happening if I would have just endured what he needed me for. I could have maybe helped out keeping him from tearing apart the earth after...it would have been years before he would be allowed to rule. It would be me, if I am dead it doesn't go to him even if whatever child involved isn't old enough. That's just not how it works. I should have explained that to him.

"Don't you ever say that. You had every right to get out of there. Sometimes we are allowed to be selfish" He replies I can't help but shake my head again chewing harshly on my already abused lips.

"Dick is in trouble because of me"

"He gave you up for Kori, I think he will see it the same way"

"This isn't about revenge for him giving me up Vic, he did that to save someone else. He did that to save the love of his life. He's at risk right now because I didn't want to..."

"Give birth to some crazy pedophile's child? I think that's Valid. You should to. Stop blaming yourself for Slade's actions and what goes on in his head. Do you blame Jason for the Joker coming back? He didn't kill him. He came back to life and that's why the Joker chose to use him to get to Batman. Do you honestly think Jason is at fault?" He asks I take in another breath.

"No."

"So why do you blame yourself for basically the same thing?"

"When did you get so wise?" I ask he chuckles

"Since I started dating Bee, You would be surprised how much being with the right person can change how you look at life." He replies I smile

"How is Karen?" I ask he smiles

"Good, I'm going to ask her to marry me. I got the idea from Jason. He reminded me that even heroes can have happily ever afters." he replies I smile again putting a hand on his.

"I am so happy for you both" I reply, he smiles and we fall into a comfortable silence for a minute. Victor has a point, I know I wouldn't blame anyone else who is in this same position. Why do I keep doing the same to myself? It doesn't change my wish to not put anyone else I care about in danger for no reason. They should never have had to be in this. I know Jason would probably be so angry if I did anything stupid like give myself up. I couldn't do that to him. There has to be a way for me to get Dick's body back and protect everyone without putting myself through hell.

"Can you promise me you aren't going to do anything stupid?" He asks I release an amused breath.

"I won't give myself up if that is what you mean. We don't even know what he actually wants. He could...just want revenge" I say thinking it would make a lot more sense. Why would he think he could still get the first thing he wanted? He probably knows he can't and wants revenge for us ruining his plan not once but twice.

Not long after the doors open as more of the Justice League sprinkle out, talking amongst their selves. Steele looks at me for a moment then looks down to the floor. He didn't know what he was saying and he knows it. I don't blame him, I'm not angry with him, However I can feel the regret and sympathy rolling off of him as he walks by with White canary. She looks at me as well but her eyes are kinder and she smiles my way. She has always been nice to me in person. However Dick has told me the questions she has had about the danger I put everyone in. It's only natural for people to fear what they don't know. It's why I don't hate them for it.

"Raven" A harsh voice speaks, I look up coming to face to face with Green Arrow, he is one of the few Justice League members that scares me. His emotions are hard to pick up on, they are too messy and sometimes it's overwhelming.

"Green Arrow, hello" I monotone Victor takes a protective step closer to me and Green Arrow see's it.

"I'm not here to make things worse. I wanted to apologize" He begins I am caught off guard and furrow my brow in confusion. "I had the opportunity to take Slade and out him away, thought he could change so I didn't. Which I didn't realize put you right in his way. I am also sorry for...voting against you when it happened. I should have seen it more clearly"

"You don't have to..." I trail off sucking in a deep breath

"If anything like what happened to you happened to my daughter...or to my wife..I would have brought down hell on Slade. I should have extended you the same courtesy" He replies pressing my lips together I nod fighting off the tears that have covered my vision.

"Thank you...I don't think you realize how much that means to her" Victor says putting a hand on my shoulder. Green Arrow nods to the both of us heading towards the same way the rest of the human traffic is going meeting up with the people he knows. He's right I don't think anyone here understands how much it does mean that they are trying to fix their mistake. They didn't see how much I needed them at the time.

Jason followed by the rest of the Bat clan exists the room, Batman talking with Wonder Woman, Dr. Fate, and Supergirl Jason looks to me and excuses himself walking my way. Even though I just saw him not long ago I am happy to see him, excited even. This must be those strong feelings Kori always told me she feels with Dick. His hands finds my waist and the other hooks my chin lifting to meet his eyes. This makes my heart do weird movements in my chest and I smile at him.

"You good?" He asks looking back at the man he just saw talk to me.

"Yeah, he was just apologizing. This whole thing is just a lot" I reply he nods to me.

"I know baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to help ambush you" He replies

"You didn't...okay you did a little bit. A warning would have been nice" I admit.

"I figured...well we should get going we got a lot to do and a lot to figure out and I think you need some time to mediate and eat something" He tells Victor and me.

"I'm not too hungry right now" I tell him

"Yeah that's because you have had a rough morning but you need to eat something" He says, I don't argue there is no use doing so. Instead I walk with him to the Boom tube getting ready to leave to the tower.

Kori hasn't said a word she herself has been going through so much and I make a mental note to check on her when I am not so close to losing my shit. The tower is nice and cool as we get into it, Conner sits at the counter munching on something I can't see well at the moment and Jamie lounges on the couch. The place seems weird without Gar and lil Rae but I know it's for their own safety that they are far away from anywhere Terra would know to look for them. She doesn't even know about the WatchTower. Not many people do, just the heroes and the people who are there.

I sit at the breakfast bar sipping on a glass of tea as Jason makes whatever he wanted eat for lunch for the both of us. I don't pay attention too much as my brain is too occupied with thoughts I can't stop thinking. Concern for Dick and his own brain. Is he aware of whate is going on? Since he didn't remember the other times Slade took control I doubt he would now. He might though, and if he does it is going to have a traumatic result.

I also think about how careful we have to be not to hurt Dick's body, not in any permanent way. Which is probably hard for Jason who wants to shoot his way out most problems. That won't work here for obvious reasons. He would kill Dick or injure him in ways he can't heal from. I know that is what is on almost everyone's mind right now. Jason turns around sitting a plate of French toast and hashbrowns in front of me. My stomach grumbles. I guess I am hungry.

Present day-Jason

I knew she was hungry. By the time I walk around the bar and begin eating my own serving she is half way through hers, inhaling it like she doesn't know when she will eat again. She probably hasn't actually eaten since...well since the last meal Alfred prepared. I can't help but think of him as I eat my food. He's stable but not awake yet. Cyborg says he is going to heal better and faster if he is asleep. I guess I understand a little bit. It's the same way that Raven's body shuts down when she heals herself.

I wish mine did that. It's an uncomfortable feeling to feel your body heal. Feel your skin reattach and feel your blood vessels close. It hurts sometimes too. I wonder if Raven feels it when she is healing. Does she scar when she heals herself? I need to ask.

"I have a weird question" I say she looks at me forking in the last bite of hashbrowns. "When you heal yourself, do you scar?"

"No, I do have scars but they are not from my self healing" She replies

"But don't you have scars?" I ask she nods swallowing her bite.

"Those are from when I didn't have access to my powers. During my time in the bunker and after" She answers the questions with less hesitation. She doesn't flinch when she mentions the bunker and she doesn't seem to dwell on the thought. She's improving.

"I see, so if you don't scar is it sort of like reversing the damage?" I ask she shakes her head.

"No because then when I stopped over time it would come back. Like if you reversed time and you live in that time, it still moves forward. I would just get the wound later on" She answers, I have to admit this is interesting. I never thought about how her healing works.

"How does it not scar then?" I ask she shrugs

"Think of it like a really good skin graft. I basically replace everything. Sometimes when I can't heal all the way that's why it's less of a wound. I just replaced enough to make the healing easier" She answers, I guess it makes sense but at the same time it doesn't. Mine is just speed healing. I still scar and I still can take forever but it's just quicker than normal. I kind of want to figure out how everyone who self heals does it.

"What makes you ask?" She asks after finishing her food. She puts her fork on the plate and pushes it back a little bit before using her powers to lift it to the sink.

"I was just thinking about Alfred, and how he heals. Made me think of your healing so I wanted to ask" I admit, no use lying about it. I know she has been thinking of Alfred as well.

"Do you think he thought Dick knew what he was doing?" I hear Damian asks behind her. She turns around to look at him, she's a lot nicer to him than I am.

"I don't know. Why?" She asks

"I keep thinking about how he must have felt seeing Dick do it. He basically raised us. He loves us and Dick...even if it wasn't Dick..." He trails off

"Damian I think he knows you guys enough to know that it wasn't him inside that head." She tells him

"How do you know? How can you be sure?" He asks

"You said so yourself, he helped raise you"

Present day-Tim

I haven't been able to leave the infirmary outside of going to the Watch Tower. Alfred looks like he is just sleeping. He could wake up at any minute and begin cleaning and cooking and telling us how to be good guys. How to treat people. He was the first one to get me to eat after my parents died. He has been consistently the beat person I have ever known. I have to wonder if he knew Dick wasn't himself. If he feels heartbroken or betrayed. It's something that has bothered me since I found out it wasn't actually Dick.

Dick tried to tell us he wasn't the reason this happened too, all we had to do was listen. Of course we did what anyone would do if they saw their brother kill someone. We thought it was him. I just should have put it together when he broke Terra out of prison. We all should have figured it out. It would have kept Alfred safer. Then none of us would feel so guilty for not believing him.

"I'm sorry Alfred" I say leaning forward to the edge of the bed he is in. Wires hooked to various machines seem to be all over him, it's a hectic sight and I want to organize them.

"I haven't had any coffee since I got here. I felt like it was unfair to do it while you couldn't stop me. Though maybe if I had a cup you would rise just to tell me to put it down" I joke I chuckle lightly at my own joke, I know he won't. The steady beeping of the machines is the only other noise, it's uncomfortably quiet. Alfred is off limits to everyone, Slade knew that yet he did it anyway. Bruce won't do anything about it, he made that known with the Jason situation. I don't think I could ever bring myself to the point of killing anyone. I know someone who would though.

XxX

"Tim do you know what would happen when Bruce finds out? I would be exiled again" He says in a harsh whisper I roll my eyes.

"It's Alfred Jason. What so Slade gets to hurt Raven, a lot you know what he did to her more than I do, and he gets to hurt Alfred and no one checks him?" I ask Jason exhales sharply a warning to me, I know he didn't just roll over when that thing with Raven was happening and he's not doing it now either.

"How would we do this without the greatest detective finding out?" he asks, he doesn't seem convinced the question is more of a way to get me to realize either way he would be screwed.

"It's not like you don't kill now, you still don't believe in the no killing rule I know that. Why is it a big deal for you now that you follow Bruce's rules?" I ask

"Because I am so close to having what I want Tim! I have Bruce back, I don't feel like a failure amongst you guys anymore and I am about to be married! To a hot goth chick with daddy issues. This is my dream" He says I shake my head a little bit but only to fight to the laughter.

"Jason he almost Killed Alfred. Remember how you felt after you came back and the man who did this to you was still alive? You were pissed." I reply he shakes his head.

"Alfred wouldn't want me to kill someone." He answers

"Don't you want to kill him though?"

"Of course I do! Don't question the hatred and blinding rage I have towards that pedophile. Do you know what I learned today? I learned those scars she is covered with, her whole body basically...were from only him. I want him to suffer and I want to do it. So on top of that and him stabbing Alfred yes I want him dead. I just don't want to ruin my life to do it" He replies, my stomach twists in me. I've seen those scars when we all use the Manor's pool. They look deep.

"He doesn't deserve another chance to come back and make our lives hell Jason. As long as he is alive Raven won't ever safe. Neither will any future you two have together. He'll come back on the one day you won't want him to. Your wedding day, the day of your first kid being born if you have kids. Why chance that?" I ask he doesn't have a reply for that. Instead he just simply exhales sharply clenching his jaw tightly. A bright green glow circling his iris. It's almost scary if I didn't know he has practice controlling his bloodlust.

"Figure out how we get it past Bruce and We will talk" He answers before turning around and storming off to where ever he needs to go to calm down.