(I just want to say how genuinely humbled I am by all the positive reviews and feedback. Words cannot describe how thankful I am for everyone's support, and I want you all to know I read and appreciate every single review you guys leave. I'm not one for author notes, because I know most don't read them, but I needed to let you know how grateful I am. Anyway, please keep reviewing, let me know yours thoughts, and offer suggestions.)
Normally, Natsu was the very first pick for Alzack and Bisca to have look after Asuka when they needed some 'alone' time. Seeing as he wasn't here, Gildarts had found himself practically forced to keep the little gunslinger entertained alongside Gray.
The crash mage decided to stay at the guild for longer than a few days this go around, deciding to take it easy with the missions after the Alvarez War. He never expected to have the responsibility of childcare thrust upon him.
Gildarts may be a father, but his experience when it came to dealing with children that weren't his own, was not as vast as it should be. Even then, his daughter was a full grown woman.
Thankfully, Gray of all people had somehow been roped into it. Turns out when he didn't have Juvia or the rest of Team Natsu around, the ice mage tended to get bored.
That led to him being at the wrong place at the wrong time, which in turn led to him being caught in the crossfire of a task he couldn't really refuse.
Things weren't all bad, him and Gray had a decent handle on things, and both of them weren't afraid to admit that spending time with a little girl that they loved silly could prove to be a pleasant experience.
While Asuka hummed happily to herself, entranced in a state of unbound innocent creativity, a pack of crayons serving as her brush and a few blank pages of paper, her canvas, Gray and Gildarts ended up having to address the elephant in the room.
Catching up only took so long, and they could only prolong the conversation for so long by sitting in front of the bar, using drinks as an excuse to stay quiet.
"How long had he been gone?" Gildarts prompted with a whisper, careful not to alert the child positioned on a stool between them.
While the crash mage stared grimly at his own reflection in the mug of booze in front of him, Gray leaned against the grain of the bar and watched Asuka doodle with a fond yet slim smirk. Said smirk soured upon hearing the question.
Exhaling, he pushed himself up into a rigid sitting posture and replied bitterly, "About a month. Me and Juvia ran into him at the bar a few days ago."
"Where is he now?"
"Juvia convinced him to take a job with her. I didn't tell her what was going on with him, she sort figured it out herself and refused to drop the issue. She chased him down and got more out of him than I ever could."
Scratching his beard, the crash mage shook his head in defeat, upset with himself, "God, I could have done something."
"We all could have done something Gildarts, everyone is equally responsible for his current condition." Gray insisted tersely as folded his arms over his bare chest.
"I was the one person he looked up to. The signs were right in front of me, the entire time I could see he was in pain, and I did nothing." the crash mage retorted, jaw clenching as rugged features twitched with pained remembrance.
"Almost all of us did jackshi-" Gray stopped himself from finishing, his fingers rapping against his bicep anxiously, "Barely anyone did anything to help him. Wendy, Happy, Lisanna, they were the only ones who cared." he finished snippily, gaze flitting down and to the side.
The ice mage added roughly, "If anyone deserves the blame, it's the guy he sparred with nonstop for years."
At the confused glance Gildarts provided, he reluctantly elaborated, putting his thoughts into verbal form an inside job that required complete self honesty, all self delusions rescinded.
"Our rivalry isn't like how Mira and Erza's used to be. We never hated each other, we got on each other's nerves, but I respected him and he respected me. We were…w-we are brothers."
Gray collapsed his hands together and propped his elbows against the fine wooden grain of the counter, "We pushed each other to new levels of power. It was an unspoken agreement I guess- that we would never stop making each other stronger, we would never stop constantly testing ourselves, never content with where we stood."
Gildarts swiveled in his stool, the metal joints squeaking like a pack of startled mice as he turned to face him. "Why?"
"What?"
"I mean what was the goal of all that?" the crash mage clarified with muted curiosity.
"We needed to protect the guild. We had other reasons, things to prove to ourselves and others, but protecting our family always came first."
Gray stifled a burp into a closed fist, taking a swig of beer before sighing, "As the years went on, Gajeel and Elfman joined our little pact. We agreed to never stop pouring our everything into our training."
Gildarts torso shook in a chuckle, "Well I'll be, that's where that mentality came from."
It was the ice mage's turn to send him an odd look. The crash mage sniffed and titled his head to the side, glancing nowhere in particular as he reached down deep and pulled out sacred memories.
Long harboured confusion suddenly dissipated, leaving Gildarts with bittersweet relief as he turned to the younger man,
"Hey Gray, I ever tell you about me and Natsu's fight at Tenrou?"
Gildarts couldn't help but wince as he sent Natsu flying through the rocky cave wall for what felt like the dozenth time.
The busy bouldered clearing, which should have been a sanctuary from the warm afternoon sunlight but instead served as a battleground for an incredibly one sided yet brutal scuffle, shuddered at the impact as yet another section of its rocky outcropping collapsed in on itself.
As shattered boulder fragments scattered and puffy dust rose, the crash mage frowned tightly, displeased with the direction the fight had found itself winding down.
Natsu was supposed to surrender.
He was supposed to give up the moment he showed the dragon slayer a fraction of his true power.
But he didn't.
Natsu didn't so much as hesitate to throw himself back at an opponent far, far superior.
That left Gildarts with a headache inducing bouts of astonishment and turmoil. However, he had no use for those emotions right now, so his brain edited them out of focus so they could be digested later.
No matter how many times Gildarts told Natsu to stand down, warned him of the consequences of attacking, and punished his attempts at continuing with bone rattling blows, he didn't stop coming.
Watching as the white of Natsu's scarf fluttered in the air, curling and flowing like a flapping flag, the older man's stomach turned at the smears of soaked scarlet that stained the garment.
Now, having been forced off its owner by the most recent backhand, it settled on the ground, limp.
Happy, having been told by Natsu to go find Lisanna, was not here to retrieve it.
It didn't take long for the still smoldering bundle of rubble to burst by ballooning shockwaves of steam, dirt unable to be kicked into the air by the terse gust of wind.
Finally, along came a battered and bruised Natsu, far more damaged than his surroundings, who slowly staggered back towards Gildarts. Leaving a trail of gory crimson in wake, the dragon slayer would waver and wobble on overexerted knees every so often, but remained upright nonetheless.
Clothes and skin torn to pieces, Natsu's bare chest now heaved, struggling mightily to simply inhale oxygen.
"This has gone far enough." Gildarts finally spoke, tone biting and stern as he grimaced at the way Natsu's left arm hung swaying in its socket, a sizable gash now taking a chunk out of his shoulder.
Natsu said nothing, panting hoarsely, his eyes appearing as if he wasn't really here, having deployed his body as a substitute for a destroyed soul.
With a horrendous rip of tearing flesh and twisting tendons, the dragon slayer lazily forced his arm back into place before hacking up a mouthful of spittle and blood.
The crash mage shook his head in disgust, "I'm done humoring you! You're just being a dumbass at this point." his artificial fist clenched and unclenched a few times as he scolded, "Dammit Natsu, why? Why couldn't you just surrender?!"
Gesturing to their surroundings apprehensively, Gildarts seethed, composure finally having exited the pitiful scene,
"Look around you, look at you! All of this is because you refused to accept fear, I could see it in your eyes, I watched you deny it. Fear isn't evil Natsu, it keeps us humble, it allows us to know our own weakness and become stronger because of it."
"Of all people… I never expected you to play the part of the stubborn fool." disappointment burdened his tone with volume and edge as he demanded, "Why can't you just accept that you're at your limit!?"
While Gildarts' normally firm composure had left, something in Natsu had finally arrived, straightening his posture and filling his chest with boiling magma.
"D-do you really think I'm not scared?" Natsu croaked out as he stumbled this way and that, breath coming in upsetting wheezing, "Do you r-really believe that I don't know w-what humility is?"
Gildarts brows knitted together to form a rug of frustrated bewilderment.
"I am terrified of fighting you Gildarts. But that will never, ever s-stop me, ya hear?" he rasped, riveting waterfalls of blood robbing his right eye of vision, "F-fears we don't face become our limits."
"I-i don't trust my fears, because they don't k-now…." he nearly fell victim to a bout of dry heaving, bruised internal organs attempting to pull Natsu back, "B-because d-doesn't know my strength."
When the pink haired mage suddenly crumbled to the ground, no time passed between him bouncing off the timeworn stone floor and his hands searching for purchase so that he could return to his feet.
"You say f-fear makes us grow?" came Natsu's humorless bone dry chuckle as he grabbed his scarf and pulled it back on, "Fear makes us complacent. V-vulnerability, accepting it, that's what makes us grow. "
Natsu drew in a deep breath, crack ribs creaking as lungs swelled strenuously. He spoke stronger, yet still so reserved,
"Newsflash pal, I have gotten my ass kicked a lot since you've been gone. I don't need you strolling back into my life so you can put me down while pretending to teach me about humility."
Remembrance, tint ranging from fond affection to bitter agony, flickered in gleam of coals, "Igneel told me that there will always be someone stronger, and because of that you should never stop pushing yourself. It doesn't matter how many times you lose, you get back up and keep training, you work harder and harder, and you don't stop even if you win."
"Even if it means killing yourself!?" Gildarts challenged snippily.
"If I crack-" his throat tore as he coughed, "T-then I harden again.
The crash mage huffed, setting his jaw as he couldn't help but pry, "Why?"
"Does S-class mean this much to you? Why do you want it so bad? What about it is so goddamn important that it's worth throwing your body away!?"
Natsu, who's voice remained low despite the oddly calm ferocity it communicated with, put it bluntly, "I don't give a shit about S-class. Old ways don't open new doors."
Wiping a bloodied cheek with his forearm, he croaked, "It's an empty title, used by people with power to lord over those they think are beneath them. Every S-class mage I have ever known has used the fact that all their strength just came to them to put me down, to insult me, to tell me I'm not enough."
At that Gildarts's expression morphed into one of sympathetic yet baffled melancholy.
"I just got Lisanna back, I'm not losing her again." he began, much calmer, ragged gulps of air soothing the throbbing pain that picked at his nervous system like the strings of a guitar.
"I gotta protect them, Lucy, Happy, Erza, Mira, I have to keep them safe. It doesn't matter what happens to me, as long as I get strong enough to protect them."
Onyx voids practically exploded with overwhelming bursting flames of conviction, a familiar sight within Natsu. For once, there was a behavior that Gildarts recognized. The Natsu he knew was still there.
However, the writhing flames burned hotter than they ever had before, putting pressure against the air as his magical energy swelled and swelled.
"I ain't failing my Wendy again!" Natsu's entire body tensed, forming searing flaming tongues of valor that carved out streaks among the cave floor, "I made a promise to be her protector, to be the big brother that would always keep her safe, that I would always be there to defend her from anyone that would dare touch her."
The blood encrusted brutes of his feet steamed as their surroundings were melted into molten ooze, a pyre of thrashing flames surging forth from his form.
From the defiant purgatory came a humongous figure, born from the flaring swathes of Natsu's burning ambience. An ethereal avatar, composed of proud majesty and a devouring inferno, it took the shape of looming Dragon, expansive wings spread and at the ready.
For a moment, Gildarts believed that he was seeing him, the monstrosity that had taken his arm. But upon feeling the searing winds upon his face, he came to a realization that it was something possibly just as terrifying.
The crash mage couldn't help but give a breathless chuckle, and grin ear from ear.
The presence of the Fire Dragon King cast a shadow upon reality itself as he stood supportively behind his son, flickering in and out of existence.
"So let's get one thing clear Gildarts…" Natsu lowered into a crouch, flaming hands held at the ready as his father's spirit faded into wisps, showering down upon wiggling warm orange tresses of his aura, "You're the strongest, I get that. You might be the strongest Fairy Tail member to ever live."
Before charging, the dragon slayer barked passionately, "But not even you get to tell me what my limits are!"
"Yeah, that sounds like him." Gray agreed, an almost proud smirk tickling his lips as he engaged in a ferocious match of Tic-Tac-Toe with Asuka, "Flamebrain doesn't really do the whole 'surrender' thing."
Having fully turned around in his seat, Gildarts leaned his back against the counter and chuckled, "Yeah, I really misjudged him. Before he finished throwing the punch, I surrendered. Told him he had proved me wrong, and that he was already stronger than S-class. We took an hour to rest, Lisanna and Happy came by to tend to his wounds, and after that he took off."
Gray came to a realization, muttering to himself in bemusement, "So that's why he looked as if he had been thrown through a mountain."
"From what I heard, Natsu spent the rest of the time at Tenrou giving it 100%. According to Makarov, he steamrolled through a guy named Zancrow. He didn't even think Natsu could beat him, but he did."
Snapping his fingers as a new memory was hooked by a cast exploratory fishing line, Gildarts recalled, guffawing,
"Oh man, that reminds me of the time I pulled up to fight some guy, Bluenote or somethin', only to see the brat had beat me to it. Sure, he was half dead, but considering Bluenote was way above his pay grade, the fact Natsu had managed to give the guy a nasty shiner was quite the sight."
Gray hummed quietly in acknowledgement, frowning when he was beat yet again by Asuka in their game. While the young girl giggled and stuck her tongue out tauntingly, the ice mage playfully pulled her cowboy hat down over her eyes, only eliciting more soft laughter.
The ice mage quietly shared, "Yeah, he changed after Tenrou."
"To be honest, I still have no idea what was going through his head. When we got back, he doubled his training. I, of course, had to do the same."
The crash mage pursed his lips, "That's Natsu for you, trying to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders."
"He…." Gray took a sullen expression, the lively chatter of the guild fading further into the realm of white noise, "He never told me much, just that he wasn't strong enough. We both stopped challenging Erza to fights or trying to become S-class, and just focused on training."
Gildarts presumed flatly, "Let me hazard a guess, it was never enough? Man, he used to have so much passion back then."
Both men recalled how much ferocity and energy Natsu used to fight with, how much raw unadulterated passion would swirl within his eyes and turn his flames that much brighter. He would emote, react, frown if a plan failed, or smirk if it did.
If an opponent wasn't to his standard, he would goad them into doing better, he would encourage them to push further in order for a more satisfying battle. When he inevitably read someone's fighting style like it was nothing more than a children's book, Natsu would announce that fact to the world.
But that Natsu today, despite being far more powerful than before, lacked any trace of the man he was back then, and vice versa.
Today's Natsu was far too quiet and stoic, rarely reacting to any happening on the battlefield. He was quick, clean, and efficient. The pink haired man would create a plan of attack based on his own acute observations, and improvise from there with a terrifying amount of cunning.
There were times he didn't even resort to using a spec of magic to end a fight, using nothing but his martial arts mastery to prevail.
Thankfully, the ice mage's drooping visage was kept from souring any further when Asuka requested for him to place his hand against a piece of paper for her to trace around.
Smiling once more, he explained softly, "Basically. We steamed through the whole incident with Michelle, then after that almost all of us lost the 6 months given to train for the Grand Magic Games when we went to the celestial spirit world for some pot luck."
Gildarts did a double take, nodding in greeting to Macuo and Wakaba as they passed by, "You went to a party for 6 months?"
"No, time moves differently there, 6 hours in that realm was equal to 6 months in ours. Natsu, who didn't go to the party, had spent all those months training. Idiot was so entranced he barely even noticed that much time had passed." Gray snorted dryly, withdrawing his hand only to see ink from Asuka's marker now stained his finger tips.
He promptly booped the young girl's nose, leaving the pale tip with a blemish.
"God, after the Eclipse Gate incident, I could hardly recognize him. That was the last time I had ever seen him act like… well, Natsu, during a fight. Not to mention, the idiot increasing his training, again."
"Lemme hazard a guess, it got so bad he ended up having to leave for a year just to get more training without any distractions." Gildarts finished for him, folding his arms over his chest as he recalled his run in with dragon slayer after Fairy Tail had been disbanded.
"We were so caught up in the fact he had left, that none of us ever questioned as to why." Gray stated grimly, lines being drawn across the bridge of his nose as his eyebrows formed a 'v', "Looking back on it now, he had every reason to."
Fed up dragging the mood down with their talk of Natsu, Gildarts quipped in an attempt to lighten things, "I would let Juvia handle it for the time being. Some things just need a woman's touch."
As Gray brushed the palm of his hand against a pant leg, a comfortable silence settled between the three of them.
"You really okay with your rival taking off with your girl though? I mean, all things considered, Natsu's a good looking guy. He had thousands of fangirls during the Grand Magic Games for a reason."
Gray sent the older man a half hearted glare, "Keep your kneecaps or keep talking, your choice."
"But Uncle Natsu likes Lushi! They even smooched!" Asuka finally decided to chime in, pressing a finger against her own lips several times to demonstrate, "Right on the lips, just like Mommy and Daddy!"
Gildarts took on an expression of pleased stupefaction, while Gray physically recoiled from the impact of that bombshell.
"Explain! Now!" the ice mage demanded as if the secrets of the universe were just out of his reach.