Cheating
The rooms moved again. The clogs turning and the sound of blocks crunching against each other as the building got him lost all over again. The doctor looked around in a panic, trying to get to grips with his new layout and surroundings. It never worked. The painting of Clara, stuck deep within his mind. Clara, he hoped she was okay, and that the Tardis had kept her safe. But he didn't hold much hope.
He climbed the stairs at the end of a passage which took him to the top of the tower. The sky above was full of stars, so bright and beautiful. ''I'm following breadcrumbs laid out for me. This is somebody's game. And I can't stop playing. A game that everyone else has lost.'' He looked at the skull, perched on the blocks overlooking the nothingness that was there. ''I know how to move that wall Clara, so long as I don't run out of confessions.''
XXX
Clara walked up the stairs towards the console. She had awoken with the same burden she fell asleep with. She had never felt more lost.
''Good Morning'' A female's voice echoed around the Tardis. Clara grabbed the hand rails in shock, her eyes scanning the upper floors, looking for the source of the voice. Were you supposed to lock the doors at night? She just assumed they locked themselves… ''I am the Tardis interface system, usually used as a 'GPS'. I have converted my settings to make it easier to communicate.''
Clara stared at the console. ''Tiny bit weird'' She murmured. ''But, thank-you'' At least she had a voice to listen to now. She started to think. She had been too tired last night to think about where to look for the Doctor. Now, everything seemed blurry.
''Ohila said that the confession dial contains the Doctor. So, wherever that is, he is, right? What if the dial is on a planet or something? What if it has a location set in place in-case he gets out of the dial. Mind you, he is in the dial earlier than his time-line expected him to be, so that may all have changed by now.'' Clara sighed and walked over to her usual chair and sat down, placing her head in her hands.
''Strategic thinking will outline the possibilities'' The Tardis responded in her robotic voice. Clara realized it obviously had a limited response capacity.
''You sound like Strax'' Clara joked. But within seconds, she remembered. The Doctor and her were joined by Jenny and Madam Vastra in his previous incarnation when they visited his grave, and she had to jump into his time stream and save him numerous times. ''We should go and find Madam Vastra and Jenny. They know enough about the Doctor to help.''
The Tardis console began searching for the two names, and as expected, Victorian London came up as the location. Clara wasted no time in pulling the lever.
XXX
It was cold, as Clara stepped out of the Tardis. Even with the countless layers of her skirts. She would never admit it, but she loved dressing up when visiting Victorian London. The courtyard where they had landed overlooked the house that Madam Vastra lived in. There was a light snowfall on the ground, and the air was crisp with the promise of more. Clara walked briskly to the door. Knocking it several times.
''Good Morning boy.'' A voice called as the door opened. Clara looked down with a smile to see Strax stood there, in his usual way. The familiarity of him encouraged Clara to relax
''Strax. I need to speak to Madam Vastra immediately, it is very important.'' Clara pleaded, knowing there were rules in place.
The strange creature looked at Clara with a frown, before stepping to the side and gesturing her to go in.
''Clara!'' Madam Vastra spoke with some surprise, but a warm smile said it was the good kind.
''Hi, listen'' Clara skipped straight to the point. ''The Doctor is in trouble and needs help. I need some advice.''
The smile disappeared and Vastra offered her a seat directly opposite her. ''What can I do to help?'' Her voice was suddenly solemn and serious.
''The Doctor walked into a trap, which has teleported him into his Confession Dial. Nobody knows who did this, or at least, they won't tell me. But the Time Lords of Gallifrey will know about it, and may be the cause.''
The green woman remained silent. ''I went to Karn upon advice, and a woman there Ohila? She said that he would likely be facing his death, and that I should forget about him and go back to Earth.''
''You simply cannot'' Vastra said quickly.
''I don't intend to'' Clara clarified. ''But I don't know what to do. The Confession Dial has no location. So, it cannot be tracked. The Doctor is not contactable, to tell me anything. The only information I have is that he is in there early, that according to our timelines, he willingly enters the dial when…'' She paused... swallowing as Vastra looked on at her, encouraging her to continue. ''When I die''
The lady leant back in her chair and steepled her fingers under her chin. ''You helped the doctor once. We visited his grave and I jumped into his timeline. I don't know enough about time, or the Tardis, to do any good on my own. I need help. I need to find the Doctor and get him out of that dial.''
''What is the Confession Dial being used for?'' Vastra asked.
''Ohila said it can be used for purification, but also to gain information. She hinted that the latter was more likely due to how many secrets the Doctor has. But the Doctor isn't like that...'' She argued with herself. ''If he has secrets, they really are ones that cannot be told.''
''We need to pull this all apart'' Vastra concluded ''Until we know the loops within this story, we cannot begin to search for the Doctor.'' She rang a bell, prompting Jenny to join them.
XXX
They had spent hours going over every detail. Clara regretted not taking notes as some of the information had slipped her mind during the turmoil of it all. They had covered the Tardis linking itself to Clara, and had covered Me and her little trap.
''Ohila knows the Doctor well.'' Vastra started ''She will know who sent him to his Confession Dial, and why. But she will never say it.''
''She sounded uncertain'' Clara argued ''She said that The Doctor is in there earlier than expected, and I may have sent him to his death, because I have not yet died.''
Vastra looked at Clara with sad eyes. ''She is probably correct Clara. Your time lines will be linked, and The Doctor may well be frozen in that Dial until you die. Your death, could kick-start his journey to freedom by relinking your timelines.''
''If I die, who will save him?'' Clara looked at the pair, and could tell by their expressions that she did not want to hear the answer.
''What if the Dial is on the Tardis somewhere?'' Jenny offered. ''It must open in a place that the Doctor is needed, it wouldn't just open anywhere, would it?''
''It's a theory, but it can't hurt to try. Clara, why don't you search for the Dial in the Tardis and see if you can find it?'' Vastra asked.
XXX
Clara rummaged around all the storage area's she knew within the Tardis. Every box, draw and cupboard under or above the console. Nothing. ''Vastra agreed that I need to die, as my timeline states, in order to give the Doctor a chance of surviving, but that means nobody is able to save him.'' Clara shouted, explaining to the Tardis what was going on.
No words were spoken, but a bell called from the console. Clara hopped up the stairs and read what was on the monitors. Item detected. Storage 3rd floor. A glimmer of hope echoed through her as she ran to the nearest corridor in search of the storage room.
''Some storage room'' Clara looked up, floor to ceiling shelves filled with items, boxes, books and papers. It was a messy garage, but in time lord style. ''Where am I supposed to start?''
Clara saw a light flash directly ahead of her and walked over to it. She was beginning to understand the Tardis's subtle ways of notifying her about things.
It had been 3 hours of searching and no Confession Dial was present. Surely Jenny and Vastra would be wondering where she had gotten too. Unless they knew how big the Tardis was…
Clara carefully tipped another box out; the box was labelled 'Important Objects'. A small golden box caught her eye, and when she opened it. A smile creeped up and over her face. Placing everything back in the box, Clara rose to her feet and ran back towards the console.
XXX
''It's a chip from the Mire Army.'' Clara explained as Vastra held the little golden chip up into the light. ''The Doctor saved Me's life when she died of heart failure. But he said it could make her immortal. Which it did.''
''So, why does he have one.''
''The Doctor saw ahead in my timeline that I died with him. He never said this, but I think he planned to keep it, in case I did die, so that he could bring me back to life. But, i am not sure.''
''Clara'' Jenny interjects ''What exactly are you saying?''
''I'm saying that I could effectively implant this into myself, like the Doctor did to Me… Become immortal, and then face my death. That would rewrite time, but not stop his journey in his confession dial, right?''
''It would have to rewrite your time, if it worked. Yes. But Clara, do you understand the word immortality. The Doctor is not immortal. Do you want to become like Me has done?'' Vastra asked cautiously.
''Yes!'' Clara exclaimed ''Look, I made a promise that I would see the Doctor again. I didn't mean too, but I did. I cannot face my death, or go back home knowing that there may be a way around it to keep that promise. The Tardis can take me there, to save time. I can prepare, and hopefully, that's enough to rewrite time, so that there becomes a way to save him.''
''Clara'' Vastra started ''What if it doesn't work?''
''Then I die trying'' Clara said bravely. ''Look, I can't do this alone. The Tardis sent me to the storage room and outlined this chip for me. It wasn't a chance finding, she knows what my timeline is and how it changes, she is likely to know the Doctor's timeline too. We are linked now; she is trying to help. But I can't do it alone. I need someone with me, someone to help once I am unable to help myself.''
Clara looked at the two women, still skeptical and worried.
''Are you sure?'' Jenny broke the silence.
''No'' Clara replied quickly ''Have you ever been sure?''
''Of course, we will help you my dear. We must prepare. We will meet you in the Tardis.''
XXX
''So… I am going to die'' Clara finished
The Tardis didn't speak to her, instead, it made a load of distressing noises.
''It will be fine, don't worry. You know what the mire is, and how it repairs. Jenny and Vastra are coming to help, they will look after me whilst the Mire chip repairs me. Then, we will have changed time, and hopefully, find the doctor.''
''I hope your plan works, Clara'' The Tardis finally spoke.
''Me too. For the Doctor more than me.'' Clara confessed.
XXX
Clara took a few deep breaths as she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. The bright lighting in the room was showing how little sleep she had had. Her face looked drawn and her eyes heavy. Her heart ached constantly, as if she could feel his pain as he felt it.
Pushing her erratic thoughts to the side, Clara placed the chip on her forehead, like the doctor did with me, before tilting her head back to keep it there. In the mirror, she saw the chip sink into her skin and vanish. Stage one complete. She was effectively now immortal, and the thought made her feel quite sick.
Not all the choices we get given are good ones Clara. His voice rang in her head. Good or bad, it was done now.
XXX
The Tardis landed. London. Trap Street. Right where Clara needed to die. The Tardis was signaling warnings on her screens. Clara knew she was uncomfortable with the idea. But there was no better route to take.
''Are you ready?'' Clara asked Jenny, who had agreed to join Clara, and keep an eye over her body after she died. Vastra agreed to stay in the Tardis and keep watch on the screens for any signs of threat or further danger. After all, by time rules… The Doctor is meant to enter his Confession Dial here, after Clara's death.
Jenny nodded. ''Do we not risk running into the future you?'' She asked.
''No…'' The Doctor entering the dial means that we did not visit trap street together. That shadow of me has gone. We will be safe.'' The Tardis had explained this to her in various messages so Clara was certain.
The three women nodded. Clara took a deep breath and left the Tardis, entering trap street. Time to be brave.
XXX
Me looked at Clara with a sad glint in her eye. ''I'm sorry.'' She whispered.
''Don't.'' Clara spat. ''Don't pretend that you know what loyalty is like.''
Me remained quiet. The numbers were counting down, and Clara had mere minutes before she had to face the raven. Leaving the room, where the teleport that the Doctor should have entered stood. The two walked towards the door.
Jenny looked nervous, and Clara was nervous. If this didn't work. She had killed herself, to potentially save his soul. Clara hoped that he would find out one day, a final message to signal how true and pure her love for him was. She was grieving, and the pain was making the risk taking less exhilarating and more exhausting. Now she was getting a real sense of what it was like being the Doctor. The inability to ever rest.
Nobody knew of Clara's secret chip. It made sense to make it look as if she died to everyone, to prevent any ripples in time. ''Me'' Clara called, looking over her shoulder. ''Nobody touches my body other than Jenny. Do I make myself clear?''
''There is a burial site across the street, we usually take people there'' Me explained.
''Nobody!'' Clara shouted. ''I will be taken into the Tardis with Jenny, and nobody else shall be involved, do you understand?'' That tone. Jenny stepped back. Me looked shocked, and Clara, despite looking confident, shied away from herself. In the process of acting like the Doctor, she was now talking like him. Issuing orders, not taking no for an answer. Talking in such a tone that nobody dared to question her.
Me nodded and stepped back further, seating herself as Jenny and Clara walked out of the building together.
''How much time?'' Clara asked with bated breath, holding her hair up for Jenny to look.
''1 minute'' Jenny whispered.
They both heard the call of the soul sucking raven, a bird in disguise of it's true form. Clara looked down the street. ''Stay here'' She said to Jenny. ''Don't come near me until this is over.''
Jenny agreed, but had tears building in her eyes. Clara smiled and cupped her hand on Jenny's face, offering a moment of comfort. ''Hey… '' She whispered. ''It's time to be brave.''
The call again made Clara turn around and walk a few steps forward. Walking towards the raven. ''Let me be brave'' She whispered to herself, over and over again.
The raven left its perch and soared through the air, lining itself up with Clara's chest. Clara raised her arms and arched her back, pushing her body out towards the raven. ''Let me be brave'' She whispered again as it plunged inside her. Nearly knocking Clara off her feet.
Her arms were frozen as the pain ripped through her. Tears slipped from her eyes and dripped down her face, falling onto her jumper as the raven took her.
She screamed, as loud and for as long as her body would allow. Slowly, things began to feel numb, like an anesthetic, before eventually, it all went black.
Vastra watched from the Tardis screens. Tears brimming in her own eyes as she watched this incredibly special and brave woman die. Her soul was leaving her body in a black trail of smoke, from her mouth, before she dropped to the floor lifelessly. Jenny stood from behind and watched in shock as Clara lay still in the middle of the street. The raven, reformed, flew back towards its cage, leaving the whole street in silence.
The Tardis cloister bells rang out in urgency causing Vastra to look at the screens. Nothing was there, but the bells kept ringing. Vastra smoothed her hands over the console as an attempt of comfort to the Tardis, it had made the same noise when the Doctor fell during his visit to London with the Dinosaur. She was upset. She knew Clara was dead.
Jenny slowly walked towards Clara's body, which now laid lifeless on the cobbled street. People fled the street the moment the raven called, meaning it was now deserted. The young woman sat on her knees, her dress pooling over her legs. Clasping Clara's still warm hand as she cried silently over her body, losing faith that Clara's idea was going to work.
Vastra began to operate the Tardis, programming Jenny's exact location for it to land on. Within a few seconds, the two bodies appeared on the floor of the Tardis. Once fully landed, Vastra set the coordinates back to Victorian London. Back to safety.
Jenny hugged her wife, still crying. ''I don't think she is coming back ma'am''
Madam Vastra smiled. ''I have faith that she will''
''What makes you so sure?'' Jenny looked back down at Clara.
''The moment Clara fell, the cloister bells called, and they did not stop until Clara was back inside the Tardis. The Tardis can detect lifeforms. I think she will be okay. I will go and get Strax and get her into bed'' Vastra said as the Tardis landed again. ''Hopefully, she will wake up shortly.''
Jenny sat on the steps beside Clara, listening to the quiet noises around her. It was mighty strange without the Doctor here. A warm golden glow began to emit from Clara's face. Jenny looked on in disbelief, the mire must be working. But no sooner that it appeared, it vanished again, and nothing had changed.
''Strax, please take Clara to one of our rooms.'' Vastra spoke as she walked back in, making Jenny jump.
''Come on now boy, it is time to wake up'' Strax called to a still dead Clara.
''Strax, she is still dead... the chip has yet to revive her. You need to carry her'' Vastra said calmly.
He nodded, lifting Clara gently as if she was nothing but a stick.
''Ma'am, does the mire chip cause any kind of glow when repairing someone?'' Jenny asked Vastra as they followed Strax to their house, Clara still wrapped in his arms.
''Not according to Clara. Me just awoke from being dead with a few gasping breaths. A glow is something you see in time lords, when they first begin to regenerate.'' Vastra replied.
Jenny did not respond.
XXX
The doctor coughed and gasped for air as he arrived in the transport pod. After gathering his breath, he pushed open the door and tentatively stepped outside. Looking down to a pile of sand beside his feet. He scooped it up and was watching it fall through his fingers gently. When the image of Clara being taken by the quantum shade raven and the smoke falling from her mouth. A sharp pain struck his chest, causing him to clutch it and fall back. He knew that he wasn't remembering her future, this was different. He felt it deep in his heart. She had died. Clara, was dead. ''CLARA'' He shouted at the top of his voice.
XXX
Clara's eyes opened suddenly and she gasped for breath, her body filling with oxygen and coming to.
''Ma'am!'' A voice shouted ''Ma'am, come quick.''
Clara's eyes tried to focus, but everything was blurry, she recognized the voices then beside her, as her memory started to catch up. ''Where am i?'' She croaked
''You're back with us dear, in Victorian London. The Tardis is outside.'' Vastra spoke softly ''The mire has repaired you Clara, but you must rest until you are feeling better.''
She felt safe. Even if she didn't. Clara had no ability to move her limbs yet. Her body felt like lead. Within no time at all, Clara had drifted back off into a deep sleep.
The scanner in Strax's hand ran a bright red light over Clara's body. ''She is fully repaired. All of her bodily functions are normal and her soul is intact. I think the sleep is simply a side-affect.'' He spoke casually, as if reading a paper, rather than someone's body.
''She has just broken a set of rules that any time traveler should abide by. She has changed the future by rippling the past and present.'' Vastra started ''I just hope she knows the risks.''
''She is very much like the Doctor, isn't she?'' Jenny said quietly, walking towards the door, leaving Clara to rest.''
''Incredibly like him'' Vastra agreed.
XXX
''If you fall, I fall. If you die, I die. You see Clara, there are no differences between us anymore. You need me as much as I need you. You have been travelling with me so long that I have made you into another me, just a better one. You have more kindness and reason than I ever will! I will not walk alone anymore. I have lost too many friends; I have seen too many planets burn because of hatred and anger. I need you… to remind me what is good about the world. What is right. I cannot even think about travelling without you now because I feel so sick with the worry that I will have to stand alone.'' '' I just want people to be kind Clara. Why can't people just be kind?'' ''I can't do this without you Clara. If you don't continue, then neither will i.''
Clara's eyes flew open and were met by very bright sunlight pouring through the windows. The busy chatter of London was sweeping through her ears as she stood and quickly dressed herself. She had a new energy, a new meaning. Her judgement and trust in things going right had paid off. Despite the doubt of others. Maybe things had changed, perhaps history was clearer now, if we went far enough ahead into the future… she would surely know.
Rushing down the stairs she almost ran straight into Vastra.
''Clara! You look in the fittest of health'' She exclaimed.
''I feel it. Perhaps it was enough to change the future. I have to find out.''
''It's possible'' Vastra agreed ''Do let me know if you find anything of any use.''
''How long was I asleep for?'' Clara asked, already keen to keep running.
''4 days in total. But the mire did have to repair your soul. Something tells me a soul as big and loving as yours, would not be an easy repair to make.''
Clara smiled before flying down the rest of the staircase, out of the door and back into the Tardis.
It was dark, and she ground to a halt before she risked tripping over. Her breath was the only thing making a sound in the otherwise dark box.
After a few seconds, the lights began to turn on, one by one, line by line, switch by switch, everything lit up. Before finally, the main console was awake, and the Tardis was back to making her usual noises.
''I'm Back!'' Clara said with a beaming smile. ''Did you miss me?''
''Welcome back Clara'' The Tardis responded politely.
''I trusted you, you trusted me. At least with the mire chip inside me now, I don't need to consider the risks. Not in the short term anyway. Now, we just need to find the Doctor.'' Clara said in a more serious tone. ''Do you know where Gallifrey is?''
''Negative''
''Do you know where any confession dial may be kept, or possibly, made?''
''Negative''
''Okay, well, let's go back to Karn. I have been asleep for 4 days, I have died, now, she has to tell me, as I have caught up with time.'' Clara flashed the Tardis a cheeky smile, before chiding herself in the realization that she cannot be seen by a machine.
Nothing happened. No response or action of any kind. Clara frowned. ''Are we going to Karn?''
''No'' The Tardis responded.
Clara sighed ''Why not''
''Danger'' The Tardis responded plainly.
Clara looked over the Tardis console. The warning wasn't showing on the screens, but she had to trust the Tardis. Despite her disappointment that things were no easier for her.
XXX
''So, there was nothing of any significance to change ma'am?'' Jenny asked Clara
Clara shook her head. ''Even if there was, I am not sure I would see it. The Doctor used to notice the little things, not me.''
''Something will come up my dear.'' Vastra interrupted. ''Perhaps the Tardis was keeping you safe. After all, you still don't know who put The Doctor inside the confession dial.''
''I have mire medical technology inside me now. Me is immortal because of it. I can't be any safer.'' Clara argued.
''I once read that time lords have the power and ability to place someone back in time to ensure they die. Immortals and time lords are close, but they have their conflict. That's why they choose to live on separate planets.''
''I wasn't able to visit Karn, and I don't know where Gallifrey is. The Doctor said it was lost. Ohila and Me both hinted that the time lords are likely responsible for the Doctor being trapped. They just don't know which time lord would want to do that to him.''
It was late, and despite having slept for days, Clara was tired. The evening had been spent in the quiet Victorian house, with only the crackling fire and chatter of three voices to break the silence. ''I should go back to the Tardis'' Clara stood ''Thank-you for your help today''
''Do you wish to stay here?'' Vastra offered, ''Your room is still made up for you.''
Clara had thought about this earlier. Company and support over quiet isolation for the sake of sleeping in his bed… Yet despite the logical, human motivated reasons, she did not want to sleep anywhere else, but in his bed. ''No, I have a room, and all of my things in the Tardis, I should head back.'' She smiled. ''Goodnight''
Clara wandered almost pointlessly back to the Tardis. She had no idea what to do to help her journey in finding the Doctor. She felt lost within a world that she didn't even have to be in. The cold air snapped at her cheeks as the wind blew into her face from across the courtyard, making her walk with more purpose to reach the warmth and shelter of the Tardis.
Once inside, she brushed off her clothes and undid her coat. ''I don't know what to do'' She confessed ''I want to find him, but where do I look. You said Karn is dangerous. I cannot go to Gallifrey as its lost. I don't know where else to look… unless I go up and down his timeline, waiting for him in case he pops back out. But how many years does he stay in there? What if… he never comes out?''
Clara looked at the orange light moving up and down the center of the Tardis console, almost as if the machine was sitting there, quietly listening, doing nothing else but breathing.
''I could ask Missy… she would have an idea.'' Clara suggested.
''Negative''
''Why?!'' She argued
''Because you have cheated your own death.'' The Tardis responded
Clara paused. Of course, how could she go back to the people that possibly set up her death on Trap Street? ''Vastra told me that time lords can extract people from the dead, but also, that they could place someone back in the dead. The mire medical chip works on repairing, but it isn't a time machine… So, I have cheated death, but I now cannot go to anyone in case they try to place me back into my death?''
''Correct'' The Tardis replied
''And you must know, that this is a risk, otherwise you wouldn't be refusing to take me anywhere… Wait, no, hang on... It isn't a risk... it happens. Otherwise, you wouldn't refuse. Who tries to put me back to my death on Trap Street?''
There was a silence. Of course, there was silence, telling Clara would fracture time. They had already done enough damage. ''Right, well, I am going to bed.'' She responded to herself. Ignoring the Tardis's beeping and dinging as it tried to keep her there.
With every step down to the bottom floor of the console room, Clara could hear a faint voice. It got louder and louder and louder, until it was clear. Clara turned around. Her eyes wide. It was the Doctor's voice.
Where was the Doctor?