Phase 5: A Change Of Heart

Cagalli turned to face the cave. "Hey you, you can't fall asleep," she said as she could see the blue haired man's head sinking from where she was standing outside the cave.

"Huh I'm... I... I'm not. I just... I transferred from the uhm and descended into the..." Athrun didn't finish his sentence as he was now asleep. He began dreaming of his visit with his pink haired fiancé just a few days ago.

"It's nice to see you again Athrun," Athrun heard as he entered the Clyne residence. He turned around and saw Lacus at the top of the stairs. "I apologize, I was running a little late," Athrun said politely.

"Oh I didn't notice," Lacus said honestly as she descended the staircase.

Athrun was surprised by her response. She didn't notice? Isn't she supposed to be a bit more excited that I'm coming to visit? Athrun wondered. He gave her the flowers he had bought for her and then questioned her as to why the Haros were bouncing all around him and making such a noise. "Don't you think it gets to a point where they become a nuisance?" The green eyed boy asked as he followed Lacus down a hallway and through the house.

"They're a little more excited than usual, because they're quite fond of you; and after all Athrun, it has been some time since you last paid a visit to the house."

"I apologize," Athrun said feeling guilty. He was to be this woman's husband one day and yet he either had no time or made no time for her.

The couple was now sitting at a table in the back garden, having some tea.

"When I heard that you were back here at the Plants, I couldn't help but looking forward to the possibility of seeing you this time. Will you be able to remain here for a while?" Lacus enquired.

"I can't be sure, the schedule they give me for time off is never really set."

"I understand that there has been a recent increase in people joining the military. Even a number of my friends have made the decision to become volunteer soldiers. I can't help but feel this war is intent on getting bigger, and nothing will stop it."

"You may be right about that, sad but true."

"By the way, I wonder how Mister Yamato's been doing lately," Lacus said suddenly sounding enthusiastic.

"Huh," Athrun was surprised by her interest in his former friend, but chucked it up to her usual friendly to everyone personality.

"Have you had a chance to see him since then?" Lacus enquired.

Athrun thought back to their last battle where they tried to destroy the Strike and the Legged ship before entering the Earth's atmosphere, but failed. "I believe he's somewhere on earth. I expect he's doing just fine."

"And the two of you have been friends for a long time? Since you were little kids?" Lacus asked.

"Yes that's right. Since we were about four or five years old. We were living on the moon during those years and it all changed when there were signs that the war might break out. I decided to obey my Father's orders and go ahead to the Plants. I was under the impression that he'd be joining us later." Athrun began sounding sad.

It saddened Lacus that he hadn't told her any of this before. Why did her fiancé's friend, whom she barely knew, open up to her about their situation but not her fiancé himself?

"I had a discussion with him about Haro and he told me that it sounded like you really hadn't changed one bit," Lacus told him as she looked at a bird that was perched on her finger. "It seemed to put him in a much more cheerful mood. "Birdy," she said as if she had just remembered something. "That was something else you made and it was meant especially for him." Lacus was referring to the many Haros that Athrun had built for her.

Athrun found it strange to hear how much time Lacus and Kira had spent together, but didn't think anything of it. He was never really the jealous type and had a very trusting nature.

"From what I could gather, he was taking very good care of it."

"What? Birdy? Kira still has it?"

"Yes I saw him many times with it on his shoulder."

"Huh, is that so," Athrun said feeling like maybe all hope wasn't lost for him and his friend.

Everything went quiet as Lacus was now just staring out onto the ocean. "I'm quite fond of him," she accidentally admitted while she was lost in thought.

"Huh?" Athrun gasped. Did my fiancé just admit to me that she likes my former best friend? As if the words weren't problematic enough, the way she said it spoke volumes. He wasn't too sure how to feel or respond. Him and Lacus never really discussed these types of things or their feelings. They always just had polite and time passing conversations. They also never discussed their relationship or the arrangement thereof. They treated it as any other relationship, and tried to make the best of their situation.

With Seagal Clyne as Chairman of the Plants and Patrick Zala as Committee Chairman and a High Commander in the ZAFT military, their children would make quite the famous couple. They arrangement also fit well into the Plants regulations for regulated marriages of young people and people that are able to procreate together. It was Athrun's mother that chose Lacus for him as she was friends with her father and become fond of the young polite girl. The couple got along well and their personalities seemed to match, well for the most part. They were both polite, kind and willing to do what was needed to make their fathers happy. This was the first relationship for both of them so they were unsure of how to feel or how to act. But they were both pretty excited by the idea of having a significant other and possibly experiencing the love they saw their parents share with each other.

The teenage couple walked around the garden and chatted a bit more before Lacus escorted Athrun back into the house and to the front door.

"My father's coming after the council's adjourned. He had mentioned that he was looking forward to seeing you." Lacus exclaimed to Athrun as he was getting ready to leave.

"I have a whole list of things that I have to take care of. You see, it's not often I get the chance to come back here." He actually just wanted to go home and be alone, as this thing of Kira was starting to wear on him. He also felt like he had come and spent a significant enough amount of time with Lacus for one day.

"Is that the case, well I suppose it can't be helped can it." Lacus said saddened. She wondered if this is what her life with him would be like, her always home alone waiting for him to make time for her.

I guess I should kiss her goodbye, Athrun spoke to himself as he began leaning forward.

"Hmm?" Lacus looked at Athrun puzzled as his face was coming closer to hers. "Oh!" She now realized what he was doing. She closed her eyes, pouted her lips and leaned forward.

Athrun stopped and was surprised by this. He blushed embarrassingly as he was only planning on kissing her on the cheek. It all felt a bit forced for him, so he decided to stick with her cheek. Despite the fact that they had been engaged for two years; they had never kissed before, on the cheek or otherwise. So this was a very awkward encounter for them. They probably had to do it at some point.

"Well goodnight, Lacus."

"Goodnight Athrun."

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Cagalli would never admit it, but she felt bad for the sleeping pilot; he seemed like he had a lot on his shoulders and looked so exhausted. She didn't realise it, but a small smile graced her lips before she started to walk back to the cave. She knelt down in front of him as she threw some more wood onto the fire. She figured she should help him in his efforts to keep them warm and alive.

"What's with this guy?" Cagalli accidentally said out loud as she looked over at the sleeping coordinator. She found his trusting and caring nature peculiar, yet refreshing. He was expected to kill her, but risked the wrath of his commanders and spared her life. He had no obligation to keep her warm and fed for the evening and yet he did. He was a soldier of the ZAFT army and she was an enemy, and yet he trusted her enough to have her not tied up and roaming around the cave and his mobile suit while he slept. She looked over at his gun on his waist. No, Cagalli scolded herself.

Cagalli went to stand back at the opening of the cave and leaned against the wall as she looked out. She sighed, This is so hard. What should I do? I mean; I know what the right thing to do is, but he's been so nice to me. How could I possibly...? He's just trying to protect his home and make sure that nobody else has to experience the pain of losing their mother like that. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe what's right and what's wrong has become so distorted over time. It used to be wrong to kill someone and now... now it seems to be okay as long as it's in the name of protecting someone else. Cagalli was starting to understand what her father had been trying to teach her all these years. He used to always say that there is no right and no wrong, it just depends which side of the fence you are on.

Cagalli sat down on the floor feeling hopeless. "How could you fall asleep and leave your prisoner unguarded?" she said out loud more annoyed with herself than with the pilot. She felt like he had more faith in her than she had in herself at this point. This is why this guy shouldn't be trusting me. What if I make the wrong decision? What if I shoot him?Cagalli fought in a lot of fierce battles in the desert, but none compared to this one. This one had become personal. The world can benefit from having someone so kind in it, Cagalli thought as she banged the back of her head against the cave. Cagalli couldn't imagine this blue haired, green eyed boy actually killing anyone. She would have liked to know him outside of the war, they could have very possibly been friends then. Her cheeks had a tint of pink when she realized she was thinking of him in a different way now. He's cute, she admitted to herself. She remembered when he had helped her out of the water and had his hand on her shoulder. The teenage girl remembered the look they shared when they were studying each other's features. She then thought of when she was watching him build the fire and the stand for her clothes. Cagalli looked at her bare feet in the dirt as she dragged the one across the floor to the other, all embarrassed teenage girl like.

Cagalli looked back over at the sleeping boy with a softer expression and in a different way than she had this whole time. She then looked back at the mobile suit. "We're under attack by ZAFT. Some of their mobile suits have entered the colony," she remembered the man yelling back in Heliopolis. Kind gestures and whatever else she was feeling aside, he was a soldier of ZAFT. She didn't want her weakness to be the reason why people on Earth could possibly lose their lives. He is on the same side that the Desert Tiger was on.

The uncertain girl walked back into the cave and stood over the man. She stuck her hand out and slowly reached for his gun. She could hear herself breathing and it felt like time began slowing down. "If you go for my gun, I'll have no choice but to kill you," Cagalli remembered him saying, just as she was about to touch it. She then closed her hand and was about to pull away, as she had changed her mind. The fire then made a crackling sound behind Cagalli and woke the man up while her arm was still stretched over him. She gasped as he looked her dead in the eyes.

Athrun slowly tried to awaken and come to grips with what was happening. "Huh?!" He now realised what was going on.

Oh no, he's going to kill me! Now I've got to! Fate had made Cagalli's decision for her. She covered his head and body with the blanket that was wrapped around her. The blonde grabbed his gun and jumped back to her side of the cave. She quickly loaded the gun and knelt down on one knee with her back against the wall.

"What the?" Athrun asked as he struggled out of the blanket.

"I'm sorry," the guilt ridden Cagalli quickly apologized. She held the gun up next to her face while pointing it at the sky.

Athrun opened his knife and knelt in the defensive position.

"I don't want to shoot you," Cagalli pleaded and hoped he would believe her. "but I can't let you take that machine and keep attacking Earth!" she paused waiting for him to say something but he just grunted in anger and probably disappointment. The amber eyed girl continued to explain, "I realise that Orb's at fault for making them, but that thing... that mobile suit will kill lots of earth people if I let you go!"

Athrun wanted to just be Athrun and be seen as Athrun above everything else, but unfortunately he was a ZAFT pilot first and Athrun second. "Fine then shoot, because I'd be the one pulling the trigger," Athrun stated factually.

The thought made Cagalli cringe. Was it because she couldn't picture him as a killer, or because those deaths would be on her head? Even though she already knew everything he was telling her, hearing him confirm it out loud was a whole other type of reality. It was almost as if he was testing her. He was giving her reasons to kill him, almost as if he knew she couldn't do it. Or did he want to die? Was he trying to urge her to do it? Was he that unhappy with his life?

"I'm a ZAFT pilot 'til the bitter end, I will not let you take my machine; and if you try to shoot me, then I'll have to kill you!" Athrun warned as he readied his knife.

Cagalli was now breathing erratically. He was just giving her more and more reasons to shoot him, and it was tearing her apart. "You and I are destined to be sworn enemies, even if we are both coordinators. It actually makes you wonder if there's no other option, but for one of us to be destroyed," she remembered the Desert Tiger saying to Kira.

This was much harder than trying to shoot him earlier in the day. Cagalli felt like she had gotten to know the emerald eyed boy and he had been so kind to her, even though he had no obligation to be. Sure she was used to being treated this way because of her status; but he didn't know that, he knew her as an enemy and he still treated her that way.

Athrun just stared at her waiting for her to make her move. He wasn't running for cover though like before. He saw the hesitation in her tear filled eyes, he had penetrated that hard exterior of hers. But he had also gotten to know her a bit. Her words seemed harsh but her heart was caring. He was putting some faith in the strange girl across from him. He saw she was having some kind of moral dilemma and was giving her a chance to sort through her feelings.

Cagalli knew what she had to do but was struggling to find the strength. She couldn't even point the gun at him this time around, she still had it pointing up next to her face. But then, the Desert Tiger gave me and Kira a chance to live, because we weren't on the battlefield. So maybe I could do the same for this guy. Argh! His decisions and actions shouldn't be my problem! "To hell with you!" Cagalli screamed at the Desert Tiger's words and at the pilot across from her. She closed her eyes and threw the gun across the cave.

Athrun saw her move and instinct took over. He lunged across the cave to attack and disarm her. He noticed midway, that she had let go of the gun and slapped it away from them, before landing with his body on hers.

BANG! A shot went of in the cave.

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Both bodies lay still.

Athrun slowly lifted his weight off of the girl and looked over at the gun laying on the floor. His knife at some point got dropped or knocked out of his hand and was laying next to the gun.

Cagalli also looked over at the gun and then up at the man that was on top of her. Her face and mind hit a blank for a few seconds as she tried to wrap her brain around how they kept ending up in these close contact positions. And each time closer than before. She knew this wasn't the right time to be thinking things like this, but feeling his very muscular body and intoxicating scent on top of her…

"What are you, crazy?! Throwing a loaded gun!" Athrun scolded, shooting his head back at the girl. He had an angry and astonished look on his face. He couldn't believe how fearless and spontaneous this girl was.

"So-sorry," Cagalli whispered looking up at him with her fists resting on her chest. She still had a stunned and embarrassed look frozen on her face. She couldn't figure out if he had just landed on her by accident or if he was shielding her from the bullet. Surely he wouldn't be protecting her with his life, when she kept trying to kill him.

"Unbelievable. What is it with you?" Athrun asked exhausted as he lifted himself off of her and sat down on the ground next to the crazy girl.

Cagalli started sitting up with her flustered cheeks and pushed her hair behind her ear. "Well you see, I uh..." Cagalli wanted to explain her situation and who she was, so that the pilot would understand where she was coming from. She then noticed his flight suit had a rip by his right rib cage. She looked more closely and saw that he was cut. "Did... did I just do that?" She asked feeling embarrassed by her actions up to this point.

"It's nothing," Athrun said politely with a hint of annoyance in his voice. He got up and started walking towards his supply kit.

"We should take care of that," Cagalli said concerned as she turned and stood up onto her knees.

"Don't worry about it," Athrun assured her as he went to pick up the bag.

"Here let me help you," Cagalli ran and grabbed the strap of his bag.

Athrun turned around surprised by her actions considering that the injury was as a result of her trying to kill him a moment ago. "I can do it," he assured again as he pulled the bag back toward himself. How could he even trust her to help him after this.

"Let me! Come on!" Cagalli insisted as she pulled the bag against her chest.

"Look, forget it!" Athrun said annoyed and gave the bag one last pull. His determination and her stubbornness seemed to be at the same level.

"Just let me do it!" Cagalli had the bag back against her chest, but this time she wrapped both her arms around it. "I really wanna pay you back for everything you've done to help me out," she said sincerely. Tears began brimming her eyes again. "It's the least I can do for you," the blonde said as she gave the back one more gentle tug.

Athrun saw the tears and sincerity in her eyes, and his expression softened. This was the first time she tried to be kind and sincere towards him. His eyes grew big as they trailed down and saw her mint green panty. With all the commotion going on, neither of them had realized that she had been parading around in her underwear. The green eyed boy let go of the bag and turned his back to her, "Before that, can you please get dressed."

Cagalli gasped as he pointed out her state of dress. She dropped to the ground with her face as red as a tomato, trying to cover her body with his bag.

"Your clothes should be dry now," Athrun said uncomfortably as he began heading for the exit.

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