Chapter 5: A Mage's Compassion (Y'shtola)
Urianger stood constant vigil over the Warrior of Darkness's side all night until the early hours of the morning—at least according to the chronometer on the wall—and was greeted by an angry Thancred for not waking him up. Thancred stayed long enough to grab a couple cups of coffee to help steady him before he headed out again; which was around the time that Y'shtola returned to the room with Alphinaud in tow.
Alphinaud looked as if he had not seen the outside world in moons and was just wasting away in some sickbed. He didn't even try to force a smile when he entered and simply commented that he had run into Y'shtola at the front entrance of the Pendants as he was on his way up here to see how everyone was fairing.
Urianger stood back and allowed the younger man to all but fly to his beloved hero's side and hold her hand between his own as he checked her over.
"How art all in Slitherbough?" Urianger asked after greeting Y'sthola at the door.
"Calm, for the most part," she answered back, "Despite the Light back in the sky, the Night's Blessed still hold onto hope. For though it was only for a time, they had seen the night's sky and they believe that they will see it again."
"And did thee find anything from thou's lead?" he asked.
Y'shtola wished that he could have asked her anything but that and shook her head in severe disappointment of herself.
"I found some spells that may help to easy her suffering," she offered detachedly, "But as to her condition…? Nothing that can help us. If only we had access to some of the tomes back in Sharlayan…? Perhaps…?"
She fell silent as she suddenly thought of the real Master Matoya and never in her life wished for that cranky old bat's assistance more than right now. She shook her head again, knowing that it was pointless to wish for something that could never happen and just set her staff against the door as she asked how Claire's condition was. Urianger fought the sigh as he turned his head to look back to the bed.
"Our friend's condition is much the same. No better… but it hasn't gotten any worse it would seem…" he confessed. "At least for the moment. The others will be here soon to discuss what they have found."
She looked sadly on.
The truth was that she already knew. She could see the light long before she arrived… and knew that she could have easily found her way here guided by the light aether that radiated around her… as if it were a beacon of a lighthouse on dark shores.
"Does it hurt for you to look at her as well?" she sked slowly.
"Only when I lookith upon her aether," he confessed with a sadness, "Tis painful at times. Before… it was bright, but never like this. Ryne had done a fine job keeping it compressed but…?"
"It's like staring into the sun upon Thanalan's sands," Y'shtola said as she ran a weary hand over her face. "But I cannot bring myself to look away when I think of how painful it must be for her."
Y'shtola didn't say anything at first, but Urianger insisted on making her a cup of tea as she took a seat. She was silent the entire time as she watched him heat up the kettle and boil the water; while behind her, Alphinaud had soaked a rag in a bowl of water and laid it across Claire's forehead as she slept on. It wasn't until Urianger began to add the tea bags did she finally break her silence and asked him something that had been weighing upon her mind as a possible solution.
"Urianger? I wished to speak with you on something," she said slowly, "I have an idea… but I wished to run it with you before trying anything reckless."
She knew that both of them were looking at her and listening very carefully as she went on, "The Exarch… or G'raha Tia's plan was sound, that much is obvious. I had been thinking it about it over and over and I do believe that had Emet-Selch not stopped him when he did, then he could have succeeded in saving both her and Norvrandt—albeit at the cost of his own life."
"That he could have," Urianger nodded slowly, and she could tell that he was already guessing where their conversation was going to go.
"Well, in theory…" she went on slowly, "I realized that mayhap it not be just with the Crystal Tower could someone have pulled it off. Mayhaps… with the right conditions… perhaps I could…?"
"You wish to finish what the Exarch started?" he cut her off before she could form the right words to describe what she was thinking.
"What?" Alphinaud squeaked in fear from behind her and she knew that he was standing up at that. "You mean… you sacrifice yourself to take the Light from her? How do you plan do to that?"
"If I can take the Light onto myself and then cast Flow to spirit me onto the Lifestream… there… the Light will be scattered along it and fade," she offered.
"Y'shtola, not everything can be solved by using Flow," Alphinaud cut in angrily, having been told about her reckless plan before to use Flow to escape death back in the Greatwood.
"It is the only solution I have been able to come up with," she countered.
"Yes, but how would you escape it? Do you not realize what this means? There would be no Elementals or… or someone to save you this time!" Alphinaud cried out anxiously. "If you do this, then there is no coming back!"
"And what if I told you that I had clearly thought of all that and I do not expect to be saved a third time?" she countered firmly. "Thancred already mentioned this yesterday but we are running out of time and that we must find other options if she does not awaken."
"And then what would happen to you?" he demanded, "You can't honestly expect me to just accept this as the plan."
"If you have a better solution then…" she began but Urianger cut her off.
"Claire will never forgive thee for doing this without her knowledge," he reminded her and that seemed to cause her to freeze. "Believe me when I tell thee this. I never should have tried to decide anything for her. It has to be her choice."
"She would learn to live with it," Y'shtola answered back. "Better that than any alternative. If it turns out that we cannot save her then…?"
"I fear that may not be possible with us," he reminded her softly. "Our bodies are left behind in the source, we are just souls given form. I do not think that our temporary vessels will be enough to contain the light."
"It doesn't have to be for long," Y'shtola argued back. "Just long enough for me to cast Flow and then…?"
The fact is that she could not stand by and allow this all to happen. They owe their friend this much in risking their lives for her. After all, how many times had she done the same for them with nary a complaint? She thought back to the young adventurer that she first met when she was first starting off in Summerford Farms; a naïve adventurer just running errands and taking care of pests. She remembered the first time that they met and spoke back in the Seasong Grotto where she first came to learn of her 'gift'. The moment that she heard her mention a towering crystal, she knew right away that she wasn't dealing with any ordinary adventurer. She had watched over her since then… keeping a watchful eye on her and after learning all that she could, she knew that she would be a great boon to the Scions and their cause. It had been her to ask her to join the Scions and so even after all this time she could not help but feel responsible for her.
She wanted to help her, to help her shoulder her burdens just this once. She also thought of the Night's Blessed and all their hopes and dreams and couldn't allow them to die here just because they weren't able to stop one lone Ascian.
And more than anything, if it had to be a choice between her and Claire, she would willing give her own life every time. It seemed more than a fair trade in her mind.
She glared at Urianger, wanting to call him out for his hypocrisy… but her words didn't need to be bringing anymore distress to Alphinaud.
"Alphinaud, I believe that Alisaie is planning on leaving soon," Y'shtola called to the younger boy, who was still staring at the two of them. "Why don't you go and speak with her before she goes?"
"But…?" he began but Urianger nodded.
"Agreed, Master Alphinaud," he reassured him kindly. "I do believeth that Mistress Alisaie did hope to speak with thee before she set out again. I fear this may be the last time we see her for several more days to come."
Alphinaud frowned at that, his eyes clearly going to their friend's face and Y'sthola reassured him, "I'll keep an eye on her for you until your return. I wished to try out some healing magicks that may help her recover. In the meantime, you make sure that Alisaie is fit and ready to go."
He gave it some thought before nodding, realizing that arguing wasn't going to get him anywhere. He set the rag aside before he bent low over Claire, whispering some words of reassurance as he held her hand. The two of them watched as he very tenderly brushed her bangs from her face, as pale as her hair was at the moment, and then quickly left without a look back.
"I do admire his new hopeful side," Y'shtola sighed. "But sadly, too often are such hopes dashed. And as such, I cannot bring myself to think of lying to him."
"But it doth keep us going even when all hope seemth lost," Urianger reminded her gently. "Especially, when the life of a loved one is upon the line." He looked down at her and said, "Full well do I understand thy desire. More than once did I offer mineself to take the Exarch's place. But…?"
"Then tell me, why did he try to lie to all of us before?" she asked him. "Back upon Mt. Gulg he tried to convince us that he had planned on using the Light to leave this world behind?"
"Mayhaps he believed that she would not blame herself if she thought him the villain in this story?" Urianger suggested. "He did not wish to hurt her as he did. But knew that she would never allow him to take her place."
"So he tried to get her to believe a story to spare her feelings?" Y'shtola sighed. "I see. Though, truth be told, I never took the Exarch to have such a sentimental, or dare I say it, romantic side to him."
Urianger gave a feeble smile at the suggestion.
"In many ways, he is much like our friend," he informed her. "He is kind to a fault and always puts the needs of others before his own. If his life be the price to pay to ensure the survival of our friend and this world, it was well worth it. A thought, that I believeth, you understand well."
She looked away from him, folding her arms and taking a few steps away from him. She didn't want to even look at him right now… at least until he made a surprising request.
"If it be at all possible, I ask that you allow me to take her place," Urianger said. She stopped walking and turned back to look at him with widened eyes as he reminded her, "I would wish to set things right. I will do it all in a heartbeat if it redeems me even slightly in her eyes. But… we both knowst that we cannot do such a thing with our bodies, or lack thereof, in such a state."
Y'shtola glared at him once more before looking away, snapping to just be left alone for now. Urianger just set the tray of tea out for her before he did what he was commanded to and left them alone.
Y'shtola just felt anger boiling inside her and took several steadying breathings as the smell of herbal tea filled the room. Rather than stew there, she took the cup and downed it so quickly that she felt it scalding her throat and mouth but she didn't care. Deep down she knew that he was right. The odds of this plan working were slim… even if she could take the Light from her, which she wasn't sure if she could, but she knew that it would be far more likely she would either turn or die before she could even finish the Flow spell.
But if there was one thing that she hated it was feeling helpless.
So, rather than dwell anymore on it she went back over to her friend and decided to try to examine her condition a little more closely.
"I'm just going to look over you," she said softly, pulling back the blanket. "I fear that the battles you've face with the Lightwardens had changed something in you and I cannot help but worry."
Y'shtola then sat at her side as she held her hands up. She began with one hand hovering over the woman's chest, the other down her midsection as she felt the aether flowing about it. Y'shtola hissed in pain, feeling as if something was cracking and breaking apart inside her. The flow of aether in this body was erratic at best and seemed as if a threatening to overflow at any moment. It seemed to spark and throw itself at the fragile bindings placed upon it, longing to escape its small confines… like a wild animal shoved into a tiny cage.
Y'shtola nursed her hand, as if said beast snapped at her for taunting it. And if this was how she felt just observing the pain, she did not want to imagine just how much pain their friend was in.
She bore with it as she went back to work listening… feeling her way as how a chirurgeon would listen to a patient's heartbeat.
"So much light-aspected aether…" she whispered mournfully, feeling the Light squirm underneath her like a writhing mass. "It has grown… almost with a will of its own in its own right…?"
She stopped immediately when the Warrior let out a cry of pain, her face screwed up as light was suddenly leaking out of her body and she began to shake. Y'shtola immediately stopped and put her hand upon her friend's shoulder to hold her there in case she started to thrash about. She was just wondering if she could call Ryne back in as Claire's breathing tightened, her teeth grinding together… light trickling out as if from an open facet.
Y'shtola didn't dare move as she whispered soft words of comfort and encouragement during this time. She wasn't sure if Claire could even hear her at this point, but after a while, to her relief, the light slowly died down and her patient slowly relaxed until she returned to a deep slumber.
"You certainly know how to scare us," Y'shtola whispered with a light scold. But she didn't dare move from where she stood, her hand still on her friend's shoulder, terrified that if she let go, then it would start up again.
After a few tense moments she was able to convince herself that it was ok, and slowly let her hand slid away from her. Nothing happened, the Warrior of Darkness just continued to sleep on with barely a breath passing her lips.
"Had I known that you and the Exarch were old friends… mayhaps I would have listened," she whispered softly as she looked on with worry. "At the least, I would have been around much sooner… I could have seen what was happening and had more time to come up with a solution."
She shook her head, hating herself more than ever before.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "But… I know not what else to do. Just… please… allow someone to take care of you rather than the reverse for once."
She wiped at her eyes, suddenly feeling them burning and she was getting angry again. "You're aether has now become like a raging river… about to break through a cracking dam… and I know not how to heal it, for I know not how to heal one's soul."
Y'shtola took several deep breaths as she leaned over and ran her fingers through her friend's hair in a gentle, soothing way. When she was younger and still under the training of the real Master Matoya… she could recall a time when she had fallen gravely ill. She remembered how her master stayed by her bedside the whole time, telling her to bear with the pain and that it would pass in time. Y'shtola still smiled at how her old mentor snapped that she wasn't going to die on her watch and to just hold on long enough for it work its way through.
But this was no serious illness that could be cured with time.
Despite how miserable she felt though she could recall, and she knew that Master Matoya snapped it must have been a fever dream, of calming hands running themselves through her hair in an effort to soothe her as she finally went to sleep.
"I know not if you can hear me, perhaps that is why I say it now," Y'shtola whispered as she felt something hot and wet dripping from her blank eyes. "But… I want you to know that you are loved. You are so loved… and we will do all in our power to help you. We will not let you go… we will be here to care for you for as long as we are able. And even beyond that."
Claire's breathing hitched at that, though Y'shtola didn't notice as she wiped the tears away. But it was almost as if she could sense her there and tried to respond… but the call of slumber was so great that it passed by unnoticed.