As she stood there just looking at him. Just looking. She wasn't running, but her silence was deafening.
"Liv,"
She interrupted with a single finger telling him to stop.
Shit, what have I done? I just lost my wife and here I am telling her what I've wanted to say for years, she thinks I'm crazy.
Am I crazy? No. I do love her. I'm tired of lying. I've been lying to myself for years.
"Elliot." She spoke after what seemed like hours.
"I'm not exactly sure what you meant by that..."
It was his turn to cut her off, "I meant just what I said."
"Elliot, your wife just died. You're feelings are all over the place."
He laughed. And she looked at him like he'd grown an extra eye.
"Olivia, I've been in love with you for years. There wasn't a day that I didn't want to tell you. Wasn't a day that I didn't think about you. Your smile. Your eyes. Your laugh. Damn that laugh has plagued my mind for years, Liv. Even my wife knew I was in love with you.
"Elliot, Kathy always thought we had something going on.
"No, Olivia. She told me she knew I loved you when we were in Rome. She told me to be honest with myself and hell pretty much wanted me to call and confess my feelings. She knew."
By the look on her face he could tell she wanted to leave. She was running. He understood. He knew she loved him too, but this was new to them. They didn't share these feelings out loud.
"El. I'm not running, but I need time to think about this."
"I understand, but before you go, I have to give you something. Stay right here."
She only nodded and watched him walked down the hallway.
Jesus. Why didn't she say it back? She felt it, why couldn't she say it.
Because that would make it real.
He came back and handed her a envelope.
"Read it when you get home, and then call me."
She looked at the writing of her name on the front. It wasn't Elliot's handwriting.
Kathy.
She grabbed her purse and headed to the door. She stopped with her hand on the handle and gave him a look back, and with a slight smile said, "I will call you, I will." And with that, she was gone.
--
She sat on her couch legs tucked beneath her with a glass of wine in hand, looking at the envelope.
The damn thing seem to mock her.
Olivia. Olivia. Olivia.
She wanted to know what was written, but it would change everything.
She'd be lying if she said she wasn't scared.
She loved him. She had loved him since she could remember.
But loving him out loud meant real. Things would be said and things would happen that could not be taken back.
Would they make it? Would Noah be okay with it? Hell, would his kids be okay with it? Would they be okay?
It was all to real.
"Olivia, come on. It's just a letter. Nothing has to change if you don't want it to. Balls in your court." She said aloud.
She picked up the envelope. Turned it over and tore it open. She slowly drew the letter from its holder.
She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.
Olivia,
I know you're reading this wondering why the hell you're having too.
And I'm assuming that since you are, Elliot has spoken those three words to you. And you didn't.
I can't say I understand why you didn't say it back. We all know you do.
I think you think it'll change you two.
But Olivia. Take it from me. Being loved by the man is a gift. He loves like no other.
He loved me once upon a time. But not like he loves you.
You have something I didn't.
I knew a long time ago. At first I chose to overlook it. Then I realized. I didn't stand a chance. He would never cross the line, and I know you wouldn't either.
I was honestly surprised he didn't call you after our chat in Rome, but he was just trying to do the right thing, by me and the kids. He was a good father, the best.
I will always love him. He gave me the best gifts I could've asked for. But we fell out of love a long time ago.
It's okay, Olivia. It's okay.
You are the woman he wants. The woman he loves.
Love him, Olivia. Don't waste the time you have left.
You won't regret it.
Take care of him.
All my love,
Kathy.
She couldn't stop the tears.
All the years of keeping her feelings a secret, and it turns out it wasn't after all.
The one woman she didn't want to know of these feelings, knew the whole time.
In some strange way, she was relieved. Like the weight of the world was off her shoulders.
She had known I was in love with her husband.
And then all of sudden she remembered.
She knew her husband was in love with me.