Fragile World

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these delightful characters, that honor belongs to Cassandra Clare. I have mostly followed the events of the show except for Simon's becoming a Vampire. For this story, I wanted Raphael to be his sire, so I followed the books version of his turning.

Chapter 5

Simon was beyond nervous, he was terrified. He was sitting on the couch facing Jace while Magnus and Alec got set up around them in case the warlock had to forcefully separate the two boys once Simon started feeding. Jace was putting way more trust in Simon than Simon had in himself at this moment in time. He hadn't fed on a living being since the last time he had drank from Jace. When Valentine had kidnapped him, bled him nearly to death and Jace had saved his life by risking his own. And here they were again, only Simon wasn't at deaths door, not yet anyway, but Jace was still risking everything.

"Alright," Magnus said straightening up and moving to sit in the chair facing the couch. "We're good to go whenever you boys are ready. Alec and I will both be watching closely, and if need be, I will step in and separate you two if Simon is unable to stop."

Simon nodded in acknowledgement and looked at Jace nervously. Jace, for his part, did not look nervous at all as he got up from his spot on the couch and moved to sit next to Simon. After taking a minute to get comfortable, he held his arm out, wrist up, and gave the vampire one of his signature cocky grins.

"Bottoms up," he said. Simon looked at him in disbelief.

"I hate you," he deadpanned as he took hold of the blonde's arm and drew it closer.

"No, you don't but keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better."

"I really, really hate you," Simon said again as he nuzzled into Jace's wrist, inhaling deeply. He could see the blood in the vein pulsing beneath the surface and smell the sweet liquid running through it. He could hear Jace's steady heartbeat, smell his cologne, feel the warmth of his skin. He had a sudden desire to see if his skin tasted as good as it smelled, and he flicked his tongue out to taste the flesh right below the elbow where the blood flow was strongest. His fangs elongated and he scraped them over the skin briefly, the only warning before he sunk them into the soft flesh and blood flooded into his mouth.

He heard Jace gasp and then all he could concentrate on was the warm liquid flowing smoothly into his mouth and down his throat. It was even better than he remembered from the last time he had fed from the blonde. His blood was so bright and sweet, like honey. He could feel its warmth spreading through his own body chasing the burning sensation away and replacing it with a feeling of weightlessness. He moaned in delight and took several more swallows, losing himself in the euphoric feeling before he remembered what he was doing and with every ounce of control he could muster, gently detached himself from Jace's arm and sat back heavily. He felt drunk.

"Holy shit," he said as he rolled his head to the side, looking the blonde over to see if he was ok. He appeared to be fine, a little dazed, but otherwise he was still sitting and awake. "You taste like honey," Simon said in a husky voice. "Are you ok?" he asked in concern. Jace nodded slowly.

"Yea… yea, I'm okay. A tad lightheaded but you stopped at the right time," he said as he flopped back onto the couch. "Alec, can you draw an Iratze for me?" he asked motioning to the bite mark on his arm that was still oozing blood slowly.

The archer nodded and moved forward to kneel by Jace, fishing out his Stele and drawing a small rune directly below the two puncture marks. Magnus leaned forward clapping his hands and looking pleased.

"Well done, Simon! You exhibited excellent control for a vampire so young! How do you feel?" he asked.

Simon stayed slumped into the couch cushions as he took a mental inventory of himself before replying.

"I feel… drunk… like my body weighs nothing. But I also feel better than I have in a while. The burning sensation is barely noticeable and I'm not nauseous at all." He turned back to look at Jace again. "Are you sure you're ok? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Jace turned his gaze from his arm to Simon and shook his head again.

"I'm really fine. Didn't hurt at all. It felt…almost pleasant. I knew you wouldn't kill me," he added with a cocky grin and a wink. Simon rolled his eyes and turned back to Magnus.

"He's clearly just fine," he snarked. "So, what now? We just wait and see how things go?"

"That seems like the best option," said the warlock thoughtfully. "Since none of us have any experience with this particular condition, I think playing it by ear is how it will have to be. Let's see how you do over the next day, perhaps try some different blood tomorrow, and if you are unable to keep it down or the burning sensation returns, we will revisit this option again. For now, you should both get some rest."

Both boys nodded and moved to get up from the couch. With great effort, Simon pushed himself upright so that he was sitting on the edge of the couch cushions, but he couldn't seem to get himself further than that. A slender, tan arm and hand came into view and he looked up to see Alec standing in front of him. He grasped the offered hand and let the dark haired by pull him to his feet and sling his arm about his shoulders, holding him upright.

"Come on Jace, you need to sleep to. The room next to Simon's is set up. I'll bring you some towels and some clothes so you can shower and go to bed." He motioned the blonde to follow them down the hall as he helped Simon to his room.

Jace followed them and lingered in the doorway as Alec got the vampire on the bed and tucked him in. Simon looked so small in the giant bed, his slight frame dwarfed by the massive headboard and dark coverlet. He was decidedly less gray, his skin flushed pink with the fresh blood flowing through his veins. Alec murmured something, brushed some hair out of Simon's face and tucked it behind his ear before straightening and making his way to the door. Jace stepped back so his parabatai could exit the room and then followed him to other guest room. He didn't even bother to change as he face planted onto the bed and was quickly asleep.

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Simon woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed. He hadn't slept that well in a long time. He stretched and sat up, his back popping as he arched backward. Climbing out of bed, he made his way out to the hall and down toward the living area to see if everyone else was up already. He was surprised to only find Magnus, sitting cross legged on the couch, Chairman Meow laying next to him all four feet up in the air while the warlock scratched his exposed belly. He glanced up when Simon entered the room and smiled brightly.

"You look much better today, little one! How are you feeling? Did you get any sleep?"

"I feel better. Still a bit off but a huge improvement. I didn't realize how awful I felt before. I guess it came on so gradually over time, I didn't realize how bad off I was. I slept like a log though. Where are the others? They leave for the Institute already?" Simon rambled as he bounced nervously on his feet. He was anxious about seeing Jace again after last night. It felt awkward just thinking about it, but he wanted to at least thank the blonde for risking his life for him yet again. Magnus nodded as he stretched his legs out in front of him, propping his feet on the coffee table.

"They were called away earlier. Something about a Clave crisis," he offered, rolling his eyes.

"Isn't it always a crisis with that bunch?" Simon asked sarcastically. He made his way to the couch and sat down next to Magnus, sighing as he leaned back into the cushions. "Have… have you heard anything from your contacts about my family's deaths?" he asked quietly. The warlock shook his head.

"Not yet. I've just started putting the word out that I am looking for information, I don't expect it will be too long before something is discovered but it could be several days still." Simon ran his hand over face, hiding his disappointment and yelped in surprise as he was suddenly pulled backwards. The warlock had wound his arm around Simon's chest and pulled him back, settling the fledgling solidly against his side.

"I know it is disappointing, but we will get answers," he said with conviction as he brought his hand up and began running slender fingers through Simon's hair in a soothing manner. Simon huffed but leaned back into the touch, soaking up the comfort as his fledgling instincts kicked in.

"You know…you and Alec have spoiled me with all this physical contact. It's amazing how quickly I fell back into needing it this much," Simon admitted quietly. "I was on my own for so long, I didn't remember what it felt like or even that I needed it. One night on your couch and now you've ruined me for life," he half joked. Magnus continued stroking his hair before replying.

"You will always have family with us, you know that right? I know it is not the same as the clan, but we will certainly do our best to be a clan for you until Raphael gets his head out of his ass. And believe me, he will, but he is a stubborn mule, my boy. It may take a while, but he will realize that he is being ridiculous. But even so, no matter what happens, we will always be your family and you will always have a place here."

"I know, truly I do," Simon replied. "Trust me, if I didn't feel comfortable being here, around all of you again, I wouldn't still be here. I'm…really good at running away. Like really good. For as awkward as I am, I don't do awkward or uncomfortable well. But you guys…you took me back in at my worst and I feel like I finally have a place in this world again. I don't feel like an outsider like I used to. Does that make sense?"

"It does. You and I are not so different Simon. For a very large part of my life, I also spent it running when things got uncomfortable or too much to bear. We all have out baggage and difficulties and problems and they do not just go away, but sometimes running makes us forget about them by putting the source of the pain out of sight and mind." Magnus squeezed his shoulder. "We have all felt like we didn't have a place in the world. You were struggling, I think, because Clary kept you outside the circle, made you feel included but at the same time not including you in anything except what she wanted. You never truly had a place because she kept you out of it. Now she is gone, and you can take your place in the circle of people who actually care about you."

Simon huffed and looked back at the warlock. "Fucking Clary…I want to hate her. I want to hate her so much but I'm just… sad for her. She has always been selfish and I, selfishly, chose to remain ignorant because it made me feel normal to stay her friend after I came back. So much could have been different for us all if I had just stood up for myself." Simon was interrupted by the loud chirping of his cell phone. He sat up, glanced at the caller ID and answered when he saw it was Maia.

"Hey Maia, what's up?" he asked as he put the phone to his ear.

"Si-mmm-oooon!" she practically sang. "My favorite vampire! How are you?" she asked sweetly. Simon raised his eyebrow and looked at Magnus who was chuckling.

"What do you want Maia?" he asked pointedly. She huffed, and he could just picture her annoyed look.

"Well, since you asked… our band for tonight cancelled and we need a replacement artist. How do you feel about a solo gig? Pete said he'd pay you a little extra if you would fill in on such short notice."

Simon was surprised. He hadn't played a gig in quite a while. He had been too busy laying low and avoiding people for that. He did miss performing in front of people. Maybe it would distract him for a bit, take his mind off everything going on. Plus, he did need the money. He could hardly mooch off Magnus forever.

"Uh, sure why not. What time you need me there?"

"Seriously!? You rock dude! Be here whenever you want but gig starts at 9," she said before hanging up on him. Simon turned to look at Magnus, a slightly bewildered look on his face.

"I guess I have a gig tonight," he said.

"So I heard," Magnus said with a chuckle. "I will be at a meeting with a client later but perhaps I will drop by when I finish up. I don't know that I've heard you play in a public setting before."

"It's been a few months since I played at Hunter's Moon. It's usually a good time. I only play for an hour or so but definitely swing by if you can. I'll have Maia buy you a drink," he added with a wink.

Magnus laughed heartily at that. "Tempting offer." Simon grinned and stood up.

"I'm going to go tune my guitar and make sure everything is good to go. Yell if you need me for anything," he said as he made his way to his room to plan a set list and check that all guitar strings were accounted for and in tune.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Simon was still in his room later that evening when he heard a soft knock on his door.

"Yea," he called, not moving from his spot on the bed. He had songs strewn out around him and was trying to decide which ones he would play tonight. He glanced up when the door opened and Jace stuck his head in.

"Hey," the blonde said, looking a little nervous. Simon blinked in surprise; he hadn't expected to see Jace at his bedroom door.

"Hey," he said softy, motioning the other boy in. "Make yourself at home," he said as he put his guitar down and watched the blonde boy move to the chair in the corner and sit. "I…I was hoping you would be here earlier. I wanted to say thank you for, you know, saving my life and all. I mean saving my life again. You seem to really like doing that," he rambled nervously. "But thank, seriously. Are you okay? How are you feeling today?" Simon stopped his rambling when Jace laughed, a beautiful sound that made his whole face light up and Simon just stared at him.

"Shut up Simon. It's fine, your welcome. I'm fine. Stop feeling some type of way about it," Jace said, relaxing finally and leaning back and propping his feet up on the ottoman. "What's all that?" he asked, gesturing to the papers scattered around Simon on the bed. Simon picked one up and handed it over to Jace.

"Songs that I've written or covers of songs that I've learned. I have a gig tonight at Hunter's Moon. Last minute gig but Maia sounded desperate, and Pete is paying extra," he explained with a shrug. "I'll take the money when I can. I can't live off of Magnus and Alec's kindness forever."

"Huh, I didn't know you wrote your own songs," Jace said sounding mildly impressed. Simon smiled sheepishly.

"Uh, yea. Sometimes, mostly I play acoustic versions of other people's songs. We wrote songs when I was in my band, Rock Solid Panda, but admittedly, they weren't any good. Too many 'genius' minds does not a good song make," he admitted with a chuckle. "If you're not busy killing things tonight, you should come. You look like you could do with a drink and some relaxation." Jace looked a bit startled by the invitation but nodded his head.

"Um, sure. If nothing comes up, I'll drop by." He looked nervous again, Simon wondered why. The other boy was always so cocky and sure of himself. He chose not to comment and instead moved back to song choices.

"Good, then help me pick songs," he said shoving a stack of papers at Jace. The other boy took them and started flipping through, stopping occasionally to read lyrics before continuing to the next song. When he was done, he had three stacks arranged neatly across his lap.

"Definitely these ones," he said, handing the papers from one stack back to Simon. "These ones maybe, and those ones no," he added, handing the second stack to Simon and discarding the third stack on the nightstand.

"Great, set list done! Now, time to get everything else ready to go get set up so Maia doesn't kick my ass for being late or unprepared," Simon said with a pointed look at Jace. The blonde cracked a smile and stood up.

"Can't have that. That girl is scary! I'm starving, how bout some dinner then I'll walk over with you, I'm currently off the clock," he said as he moved toward the door. Simon followed him down the hall and into the living area. Magnus was no where in sight, but then he did mention something about a client or meeting or something earlier. Alec was sprawled on the couch, a book propped up against his knees and Chairman Meow purring on his chest. He looked up as the other two boys entered the room.

"Hey," he said softly. "What are you two up to," he asked as he moved the cat from his chest, hissing as his finger was bitten in protest as he sat up, setting his book on the coffee table.

"Looking for some dinner and then I'm going to help Simon go set up for his gig," Jace answered as he moved into the kitchen. "Simon, you want to try some blood? Magnus said he got a fresh delivery from Taki's just in case you wanted to give it a try."

Simon blanched a bit at the thought. He didn't currently feel nauseous and the burning sensation in his body had receded but still lingered…like slow burning embers on the outskirts of his awareness. Still, the thought of throwing up before he had to perform was not appealing.

"I'm gonna hold off until after I perform. I don't want to throw up or risk getting sick in front of the entire bar," he answered as he sat on the couch next to Alec. The archer shifted closer and put his arm around Simon's shoulder squeezing gently. It was now more habit than anything Simon noticed. After the first week or two, Alec and Magnus just naturally gravitated closer to him, always touching him in some fashion; offering the touch and comfort his body craved as a fledgling. Simon leaned his head on Alec's shoulder briefly, inhaling the scent of sandalwood and sugar, a scent that belonged to Magnus, and an underlying scent of campfire, a scent that uniquely belonged to Alec.

"Alec, you want a sandwich?" Jace called from the kitchen. "I found bacon and lettuce and Magnus got the good bread from the bakery down the street."

"I'm good, thanks though," Alec called back. He turned his attention back to Simon and studied him closely for a minute. "You're feeling alright?" he asked hesitantly. "You look better, your decidedly less gray than you were yesterday."

"I am feeling better, thanks. And thanks for dragging my blood drunk ass to bed last night," Simon joked with a smile. He scooted closer to Alec in order to make room on the couch as Jace came out of the kitchen, sandwich in hand, and sat down next to Simon. The blonde raised one eyebrow as he looked at Alec with his arm wrapped around the vampire's shoulders but didn't say anything, just took a huge bite of his sandwich.

"You should come to Simon's gig," Jace said to his parabatai between bites of bacon and lettuce.

"Yea," Simon added. "Magnus said he would drop by if his meeting didn't go too late. You shouldn't waste an opportunity to get him drunk and take advantage of him," Simon joked with a playful wink. Alec actually laughed at that.

"I don't need to get him drunk for that! But sure, why not. I've got the night off. I wouldn't be mad about spending some time with my best friend either," he said giving Jace a pointed look. Jace looked guilty but didn't say anything as he shoved the last bit of sandwich into his mouth and stood up.

"Alright then, let's get your stuff and get this party started," he said heading back down the hallway.

A/N: Next chapter is the actual gig, a run in with Raphael, and whatever else comes into my jumbled brain. Let me know what you think and as always, thanks for reading!