Hi all! I'm switching things up a little in this chapter. It will be in Bari's perspective and goes a little into some backstory. I hope it fills in some gaps you might have questions about.

S/O to AMBERJANUS, Pilarofdoom and "guest" for your reviews! It's always appreciated.

Enjoy!

Chapter Five:

Bari Goldstein was nothing if not flustered.

It was her general state, almost in any situation. At Hogwarts, Bari was always showing up with a quill in her hair and her books a mess. Once, the ink hadn't quite dried on her quill and she discovered, much to her dismay and Rose's entertainment, that the black ink had dripped down her neck. Worse, Bari hadn't noticed right away and ended up smearing ink across her forehead after rubbing the back of her neck.

As a general rule, Bari was not neat or orderly or composed. Ever. The only exception was playing quidditch. No, she wasn't exactly neat and orderly there either.

Her notes and plans were always scribbled on half torn pieces of paper stuffed in her bag. She felt badly for whoever would take over the Gryffindor captaincy next year, because, while she could understand her notes and knew where everything was, the next person would most likely be unable to read her handwriting, even if they could find the notes in the first place. But she was composed, at least in the air.

When Bari was flying, when she was up with the wind and the clouds, high above the crowd or tossing the quaffle back and forth with her fellow chasers in the middle of the pitch, she was at her sharpest.

But, usually when Bari's two feet were on the ground, she did not have much of a cool, calm, or collected disposition. And this was no so truer than when she was around Albus Potter.

Albus. Albus. Albus.

That name alone was enough to get her heart racing. It got stuck in her head and muddled up her thoughts. She did not know what it was about that stupid boy, but he just had this effect on her. Since the first time she met him in the Great Hall at Hogwarts that first day of school. She'd played off her disorientation by rolling her eyes at him. When he'd challenged her own ability to fly, Bari had boasted about the broom she'd received for her tenth birthday. Al said he had got one at eight.

And so was the start of a long history of covering up her feelings with a facade of bravado and snark.

Whenever he was around she felt this way. There was just something there about him. Between them.

Intangible.

Unexplainable.

Annoying.

Over the years, Bari had gotten better at navigating the feelings he invoked in her. When she was eleven, it had been uncomfortable, those feelings. They were something to ignore and push down. But as she got older and could better understand how to navigate what they meant, the less wary she became. And seeing as she was generally in a haphazard state, those confusing feelings became a normal part of her life.

Sometimes, Bari even enjoyed them.

Sometimes a little too much.

In truth, Bari just liked being around Albus. Liked talking to him. Liked looking at him and laughing at him. She liked him. More than she should. More than anyone should like someone they'd never kissed or been with in any way more than friendship. Someone she'd barely ever touched. How could you feel that way about someone when you don't even know what it's like to hold their hand?

They'd (awkwardly) hugged a few times over the years. She remembered at the end of First Year how she had gone in for a side hug. They'd been the same height at that point and she remembered vividly how their heads had accidentally knocked together.

Then on the train at the beginning of third year, when he'd had a growth spurt over the summer, she saw him in the corridor on the way to school. She and Rose had found a compartment with some other Gryffindors. At the time Scorpius and Rose could barely be in the same vicinity without the interaction ending in screaming. They were even more hostile than they were at seventeen. So she hadn't seen much of Albus that summer. She smiled at him and went to give him a hug. He had looked like he would be really nice to hug and Bari forgot herself and their platonic relationship for a moment. Instead of returning the hug, Al had stuck a hand in front of him. Bari had frozen mid-step forward and awkwardly shook his hand instead.

She could barely look him in the eyes for a week after that.

And then there had been the time Albus had almost died.

It had been the last quidditch game of their sixth year, just a few months earlier. Bari had been anxiously biting her nails down to the nub. If Slytherin scored less than 270 points, Gryffindor would win the Quidditch Cup. The Slytherin team was currently tied with Hufflepuff at 130 each. The game needed to end soon and with Hufflepuff's seeker holding the snitch.

She had been hoping Slytherin would lose the game and score less than that, but those thoughts went out the window when Al started hurtling towards the ground at a dangerous speed. She had stood up from her seat as the whole stadium watched Al slam into the muddy quidditch pitch. Bari was racing down the stairs before her brain could catch up to what her feet had been doing.

When she made it to the pitch and finally was able to break through the crowd of Slytherin and Hufflepuff players, Al was sitting up, looking dazed. Vince was kneeling in front of him but Al pushed his friend aside when he saw Bari. She was standing a few feet away from him, the thin line of blood coming down from his eyebrow bright against his pale skin. Paler than usual. Al wiped it out of his eyes, smearing it across his forehead.

Bari was wildly reminded of how much it looked like the ink she'd smeared across her own forehead earlier that month. Al had been the only one to tell her about it.

"Hey Bare," Al had said rather shakily. "I caught the snitch." Albus held up the struggling golden ball in his hand. "Sorry you lost."

Bari let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding and propelled herself forward. Evidently, Albus thought she might hit him as he flinched, but Bari was wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, unable to care about the other quidditch players and spectators. At this point, Al had drawn quite a little crowd as teachers and students came to see if he was alright.

What they saw was not an injured, broken boy. But a small girl squeezing the life out of a banged-up rival.

With Vince staring awkwardly at them.

"You're such an idiot," Bari mumbled into his shoulder.

She felt Al laugh against her and wrap his arms around her. But they were broken apart after barely a second.

"Miss Goldstein, if you could please remove yourself from Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said. "I believe he needs to see Madam Abbott."

Bari moved away from Albus instantly, a blush rising on her face.

"Yes, of course."

Bari wiped her face and stood up. She hadn't realized she'd begun to cry. Vince lifted Al to his feet. He still looked pale and wasn't making eye contact with Bari. Though it seemed like everyone else was staring at her. McGonagall led Vince and Albus through the crowd.

Rose had appeared at Bari's side, a reassuring hand on her elbow. Bari let herself be led away from the crowd.

The game was over. Slytherin won and Gryffindor had lost the Quidditch Cup. The very Cup Bari had been killing herself over for months. But all she could think about was Albus. Which was so stupid because they'd barely spoken that term at all. But here she was, ignoring her own bitterness over the loss, worried about a boy who barely acknowledged her anymore.

And truth was, Bari liked him way more than just like. Yet here she was, standing with him at his own birthday party, feeling like she could melt in his green eyes.

She felt so stupid.

Because what was worse than potentially loving someone you'd never actual been in a relationship with is loving someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship at all. Let alone with you.

It hadn't always been that way. There had been a good few years where they'd been friends. As they shared a best friend, the two had spent a lot of time together by default. No, they didn't discuss their deepest desires and secrets. Given the fact that they had been children and separated by house and gender, this wasn't too surprising. They weren't connected at the hip, but they'd been friends. They'd played pranks together, and argued, and competed, and pushed each other, often physically. They ate meals and saw each other over the holidays. They studied and procrastinated together.

But never alone, never just the two of them. Rose or Roxy or one of the various other people who encircled both their lives was always there.

And then something had changed. Or at least for Bari something had. It seemed that Al still thought of her as that little girl he'd met in the Great Hall.

But for Bari everything was different once she realized that she wanted more than just their childhood friendship. She wanted more from him, more of him.

It wasn't like Al was perfect by any means. No one could accuse Bari of thinking him without fault. She knew his weaknesses and his annoying habits and his stupid ideas. Bari knew that he was absolutely rubbish at herbology and had a habit of eating way too many cauldron cakes when he was stressed. He was secretly anxious about living up to his family name and hated anyone who badmouthed the Harpies. Al had faults. She just didn't mind them.

It was absolute rubbish that he didn't think of her in any way beyond what she had been at eleven.

What was even more infuriating was that not everyone felt like he saw her as a childhood friend. Lav liked to point out that Al was always flirting with Bari. And Bari would make the point that Al was like that with everyone. That Al was joking when he was flirting.

There was just no other option. Because Bari would not let the other thoughts of what flirting could mean enter her mind. Not again. Not after she'd done that before, and it had backfired completely.

She'd already put herself out on a limb once with him. His rejection still stung whenever her mind drifted to that particular moment. It was not an experience she wanted to relive.

It had nearly two years since she'd asked him to the first Hogsmeade trip of their fifth year. After finally admitting (to herself) that she had a crush on him and convincing herself that he'd been flirting with her, she'd went to find him after breakfast. Bari knew he was the only one of his friends who was still taking Muggle Studies and she'd called after him in one of the empty hallways. She was supposed to be heading to the grounds for Herbology and had gone out of her way to find him in the castle.

Bari asked and Albus had laughed in her face. Literally laughed. He'd thought she was joking. But when her cheeks reddened and her eyes began to water, Albus had realized his mistake, but it was too late, the damage was done.

He'd tried to apologize, saying he didn't like her "in that way."

Whatever shite that meant.

She'd tried to keep her head up and not run away like she desperately wanted to. Instead she listened to him go on for a full five minutes on how he didn't want to "ruin their friendship" and that he wasn't interested in dating right now. Bari had nodded her head, unable to take in the words. When he finally finished talking she turned away with a curt nod. And with the little dignity she had left, Bari walked back down the stairs and out of the castle, not allowing herself to cry over a boy.

One of the worst things to come of the incident, however, was not the heartbreak or the awkwardness. It was the fact that by breakfast the next morning, the whole school had heard of Bari's rejection.

Bari had flat out refused to talk to Al for weeks. He'd come up to the Gryffindor table at least once a day and tried to apologize, but Bari would just get up and walk out. She'd pretend to not hear him when he called her name in the halls. She took to sitting at a table by herself in the library as opposed to sitting with her friends because she couldn't have born it if Al had joined them. That wasn't out of anger. No it was something much, much worse.

Mortification.

At the time, Rose had tried to mend the relationship. It was hard to have your best friends be on the outs. But after a time, Rose gave up. And it was hard, but eventually, Bari got over her own embarrassment as well. She began to only spoke to Albus about a neutral topic: Quidditch. She sat with her friends in the library and spoke to Al in their shared classes. On the Hogwarts Express at the end of their fifth year, just months after the incident, Bari had even shared a compartment with Al. Even though she knew Scorpius and Rose would have to patrol and leave her alone with him.

The incident seemed all but forgotten. Albus didn't try to apologize to Bari every time he saw her anymore and Bari could manage to look Al in the eyes.

They never spoke of it again.

Though Bari never forgot. She never forgot the look on his face, the shock and realization that she was not joking, that she'd been asking him as more than a friend. That she wanted a different kind of relationship with him. She would never forget how he'd stood there with his mouth agape before he ruffled his hair as he turned her down. But Bari was able to compartmentalize, as she did with many things too painful to think on. She put it out of her mind as best she could, only thinking about it as she lay in bed at night or when she'd catch a glimpse of Al with this girl or that on their way to Hogsmeade.

And that was as it should be. Bari could not handle the thought that she had been right at fifteen, that Al was flirting with her. And that maybe Lav was right, and he really did go out of his way to tease her. It was too cruel a thing for him to do and she did not want to think Albus cruel.

So she attempted to bury her feelings. She went on to Hogsmeade with other people, even had a serious boyfriend for a few months at the end of sixth year. The boy had been nice, but painfully so. Bari broke it off shortly after Al had crashed on the quidditch pitch.

She'd never again asked a boy out.

But the feelings for Albus were still there. Always lurking. Always hoping for something that she knew would never exist. It made her want to vomit and cry and punch something simultaneously.

And that was just as it had been for months. After Al had recovered from his fall in the spring, he'd was friendlier than he had since she got a boyfriend in November.

When she was dating Allen, Al had barely spoken to her. But since then, they'd been on much better terms. More similar to their friendship in their early years at Hogwarts and what had been at the end of their fifth year and beginning of sixth, until Allen had asked her out.

Earlier in the summer summer, Rose had invited Bari to join some of the Weasley cousin's on a trip to a little lake in the north country. Bari had been the only non-cousin or non-significant other in attendance. It had been some of the most fun she'd had since school.

And she and Al had had a moment. They'd talked about quidditch, as usual, but he'd been sitting so close to her on the towel. Their legs had brushed and he didn't pull away. She thought something might happen but nothing did. And she was too smart to make the same dumb move twice. There was no way she'd say or do anything on her feelings again.

But now she was talking to him in his bedroom. A place she'd fantasized about being in more often than was proper. But when she'd thought about it, the room was never packed so much with other people. However, in those visions, Al would lean in towards he as he was now.

And suddenly, Bari realized she hadn't been listening to anything Al had said in the past minute, for her brain had been preoccupied.

Bari made herself refocus. She let her senses be filled up again by the music in the room and Al's voice.

"I really knew I shouldn't have listened to Lily," Al was saying.

He was pointing at a rip in his the quidditch robes that sat proudly displayed on a chair behind her. Bari got a whiff of whatever product he put in his hair as he leaned closer. She clenched her toes and savored the moment before he pulled away.

Albus Potter would be the end of Bari Goldstein, she just knew it.

"-the Whomping Willow never was quite the same after that," Al finished, standing beside Bari with his hands in his pockets. He was leaning back on his heels waiting for her to respond.

Bari caught up to where they were in the conversation, remembering the story they were discussing. A stupid idea Albus had had at the end of their fifth year.

"Probably not too smart of you to try and outfly one of its arms though?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Well when you're the fastest flyer at Hogwarts, there's only so many things available to race."

Bari's other eyebrow rose up to meets its mate.

"Oh really?" Bari began.

"The fastest flyer?" Scorpius scoffed, interrupting Bari as he reemerged from the crowd. Bari had noticed him follow Rose when she'd left before. Though her friend was now nowhere in sight. Scorpius' voice was cold, and he looked angrier than he had before. "Yeah, right."

"What like you're faster? You don't even play on the house team," Al bit back, noticing his friends anger and responding the only way boys knew how to deal with emotion, by being angry back.

Scorpius smirked. Bari could see why Rose got so annoyed with him so often.

"I'm not talking about me, even though I am a very good flyer," Scorpius said. Bari could have sworn she saw Vince roll his eyes behind the blonde's back. "I'm talking about Bari."

All three of the boys heads turned to Bari. This caught Bari off guard. Though she agreed with Scorpius, she had not expected him to offer up her name. She didn't even know Scorpius had ever seen her play, let alone clock her speed.

She was flattered.

"That's different, we play completely different positions," Al said.

Bari turned back to face him, crossing her arms over her chest. It was her turn to scoff.

"Yeah you play seeker, so you only have to fly fast once in a game," Bari held up a single finger. "I'm a chaser, I fly fast the whole time," Bari used the same finger to make a circling motion, as though to encompass an entire quidditch pitch.

"And I seem to remember the last time you flew fast," Vince spoke for the first time Bari could remember that night. "You ended up crashed into the ground."

Vince looked briefly at Bari and she felt herself blush at the memory of her panic. But she smiled brightly at the look of indignation on Al's face. He looked like Vince had just hit him.

"That's not fair," Al said. "I caught the snitch in the end."

Vince merely smirked. "Bari's still got a better track record."

Bari laughed as Al stood dumbfounded. It always felt good to get the upper hand on him, seeing as he was the one that often held it.

He quickly recovered, as he always did.

"Fine," Al said, turning to Bari. The look on his face wiped the smile off of hers. "Let's race then."

She hadn't been expecting that.

But she was ready for it.

"Yes, let's," Bari said, her eyes meeting his in defiance.

This was where Bari felt comfortable. She thrived on competition and flying. Not even being around Albus Potter could throw her off her game.

In fact, in moments like this, moments about quidditch and brooms and flying, Bari did even better with an audience she was trying to impress.

Al turned, grabbing his broom off the wall behind him. He fixed her again with a challenging look.

"Ladies first," he said with a smirk.

"Bring it on, birthday boy" Bari said, leading the way out of Al's bedroom.

A/N: End of another chapter. Hope you all enjoyed. And see you all again here next week. :)