Chapter 5

(Learning from My) Missteps

Izuku doesn't think he's sweated this much since the first time he ran away from Father. Back then he'd been so young, small limbs that hadn't grown into the muscle being forced upon them, and his steps were both too short and too slow to get away from the man. In the present, the tables have turned and while he is still too slow- he is the one chasing.

He wipes the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand, flicking it to the ground with a whine of annoyance. His skin was prickly and pink from being out in the sun all day, his neck burning up with what he would assume would be the world's worst sunburn- not to mention the plethora of cuts and nicks he'd acquired on his hands in the past handful of hours.

"I'm starting to think you're giving up Izuku," Corvan calls cheerily.

Izuku musters the strength to give the man a glare, easing back up to a standing position. "Sit still for a moment, it's my first day." He wastes a breath on the retort because if nothing else he can at least snark back at the man.

Corvan chuckles, rolling his eyes at him as he leans back against one of the many cars in the abandoned parking lot. Formally it was a training area for bomb defusal techs, but in special cases- or apparently in instances where Corvan asks- it could be used for other purposes.

Izuku wipes the palms of his hands off on his jeans, forcing the casual gesture as he charges Air Cannon.

"Heroes don't get an easy first day," Corvan quips back, pushing off the car and dancing a half step away.

His heels are always touching the scant shadows of the car, though- a safety that he clings to in their game of cat-and-mouse. It's something that Izuku can think back to and recall in nearly all of his memories of the man. A shadow is always within reach to him.

"Neither do villains," Izuku growls, releasing Air Cannon- one blast at Corvan and the other behind himself.

The result is that Corvan slams back into the car and Izuku is jolted forward slightly- the blast propelling him stronger than the one he pointed at Corvan.

The remaining distance only takes a second to close- not even long enough for Corvan's feet to hit the ground. His hand wide open as he goes to grab the man.

Instead his fingers punch into the rusted metal of the car- paper thin sheet metal adding another minor laceration to his fingers as Corvan melts into a shadow- likely the one his own body cast against the vehicle.

"Fuck!" Izuku swears, ripping his fingers and shaking the blood off them.

"Oof," Corvan groans, emerging from the shadow cast by a tree on the corner of the lot. He rubs his chest a few times before giving Izuku an offended look. "That one kind of hurt there."

Izuku growls, flames flickering on his fingertips before he exhales with another huff. It's useless. Hours of both dancing and chasing after the man and he still couldn't' catch him.

He'd tried using Rivet Stab to corner the man and drive him away from the shadows he fled into.

He'd tried using Cremation to shift the light- alter the shadows- but all that got him was a punch in the shoulder and a flick on the forehead because "collateral damage needs to be kept to a minimum for Heroes."

Compression wasn't truly viable- with a dozen different cars in the lot and shadows cast around the edges by trees and their rustling branches it wouldn't do him any good to eliminate or shrink them. There were simply too many.

Toga's Quirk…

Hell Toga's Quirk he'd never used or wanted to use. Not once. Not ever. Not in a million years.

And Twice… just turned their exercise into a bad game of Whack-A-Mole.

He shakes his head, giving Corvan another look. "I can't catch you, dammit" he finally says, "your Quirk and this arena are just…" Too many shadows, not enough time, and he doesn't have the utility to capture someone like Corvan.

Corvan laughs and smiles. "So you're telling me that the current holder of All for One-"

"A copy of All for One-" Izuku interjects.

"Can't capture a man with one singular Quirk?" Corvan is unphased as he pushes away from the treeline.

Doesn't matter though, with the setting sun only deepening and lengthening the shadows around them- Corvan was only a handful of steps away from safety at any given moment.

Rage sparks in his belly, anger at the teasing- the ridicule. Corvan smiles and winks at him, and it makes him frustrated in a way he hasn't been in a while. The frustration of reaching for an unattainable goal.

"Yes. Alright. Yes," Izuku snarls, crossing his arms and leaning back against the nearest car.

Corvan hums, and crosses the rest of the distance to take a spot leaning against the car next to him. The exercise was over as soon as Izuku admitted defeat, but the challenge still itches in the back of Izuku's mind.

He has ten Quirks at his disposal. Sure, not all of them are useful in a game like this, or even remotely viable- hell, Life Force is all about extending his life span and increasing his durability- but it was… humiliating.

"Do you know why I chose this exercise for your first day training?" Corvan asks quietly.

Izuku huffs, rolling his eyes at the man. "To prove to me that I can't always get through my problems with brute force?" It's a lesson he already knows.

It's why he tried to disguise Air Cannon with casual gestures. It's why he hasn't tried Overhauling the entire lot and the surrounding area into a flat wasteland. He knows there are limits to what Heroes are allowed to do and he respects that. It's something he's abused before in fighting them.

Now- if Corvan's indications were anything to go on- it was a rule he himself would have to follow.

"Nah." And the rejection turns Izuku's scowl into a confused frown. Corvan doesn't seem phased by it, his gaze steady on the treeline and the lengthening shadows reaching for them from across the lot. "You already knew that. One way or another, and collateral damage isn't what I had in mind for today."

"So?"

He huffs, as if he's annoyed Izuku hasn't already figured it out. "Who in this world can match you?" Corvan asks suddenly, and it's such a simple question coming from a man that usually likes to dissect motives and principles Izuku doesn't at first know what to say.

"I… I guess one of the Top Heroes- power-wise," Izuku suggests with a shrug.

"So why can't you catch me?"

Izuku purses his lips, feeling the shame of failure burn back through the confusion. "I'm not fast enough to intercept you before you slip into a shadow and in this arena- there's too many spots for you to hide." Plus- he didn't have a clue what the maximum distance for Corvan's 'Shadowtravel' even was.

It could be line-of-sight, or it could be any shadow in a mile. There was no way of knowing.

Corvan lets him stew in his own thoughts for just long enough before giving him the way out. "So our Quirks are incompatible?"

Incom…?

Izuku blinks, frowning as he considers the man.

Incompatible Quirks. That was…

His fingers drum on his own arm as he considers the concept. It wasn't that he wasn't capable, or even that Corvan was so highly skilled- it was the definitional difference in what their Quirks were capable of. "I can't handle you," Izuku mutters.

"Yes, what point am I trying to teach in this first lesson then?" Corvan prods, a smile on his lips as if he can see the gears turning in Izuku's head.

"I," Izuku stresses the pronoun, "I can't- but maybe someone else can. Someone with a light-based Quirk, or someone that's faster, or invisible even, that can sneak up on you and grab you before you slip."

Corvan chuckles, nodding his head before he fixes Izuku with a smile. "Exactly. You have something incredible Izuku. All for One, yes I know about it- who doesn't after Kamino Ward," he winks and Izuku has a feeling that information wasn't readily given to the man and more likely something he overheard- "is an insane Quirks. It has both power, potential, and versatility from having multiple powers in itself. But that doesn't change the baseline issue you and all other Heroes will face in the field."

"Sometimes I won't be compatible with a villain," Izuku mutters, and Corvan nods. "My Quirks won't be what's needed in the fight, or the rescue, or whatever the situation and I'll need to call for someone."

Corvan nods again, finally pushing off the car. "Exactly. You might be one of the most powerful people at this moment- but that doesn't change the fact that there will be some moments when you are completely helpless."

It wasn't a fun first lesson. But Izuku could respect and appreciate that it should definitely have been his first lesson.

His second lesson- the following week- isn't any better.

For one, it's not a combat exercise- and that becomes ever so clear when Corvan takes them (through a shadow) from his office to the Mustafu Correctional Facility (once again refusing to comment on his Quirks maximum jump distance, or restrictions).

"Do you know who is kept here?" Corvan asks as they push through the main doors and into the lobby.

Police officers glance at them, more than a few stopping to give a double take as they consider Corvan and then Izuku. The feeling is like ants on his skin, skittering over his flesh and making him feel like he'd rather be anywhere else.

Which was especially true when Corvan took a turn down a hallway and Izuku recognized it as one that would end in visitation rooms.

"P-people that are being processed," Izuku mutters.

"And people with low-danger Quirks, or mild mutations that won't help them in breaking out or getting into trouble," Corvan adds as he stops at the guard station.

He flashes his ID, and the guard buzzes him and Izuku into the hallway of cells. It's all silence, and the oddity of it makes Izuku all the more nervous.

There's no discussion about why they are here, or for whom. Like it's all known and has been planned.

"So why are we here?" Izuku presses, staring into the thick plexiglass rooms as they walk down the hallway.

There's a metal table in the middle of all of them, three chairs pushed in with an additional two off to the side. The guard patrolling the hallway tips his hat at Corvan- but doesn't say a word to him as he passes.

"Heroes have to deal with quite a bit more than what society thinks they do," Corvan deflects, "sometimes cases are straight forward, caught in the act or with a smoking- proverbial- gun. Other times it's based on investigation and people need to be interrogated, or information verified."

"So interrogation tactics?" Izuku asks hopefully.

He's not hopeful because he wants to know how it's done. He knows from experience. Knows just how muscles and bones crack when pushed or pulled the wrong way. He knows at what temperature skin burns and melts, and he knows what it feels like crossing that threshold.

"No." Corvan stops at the end of the hallway, nodding to the guard at the door.

The door slides open, and in this room, there are only three chairs, two on one side of the desk and one on the other- the prisoner side. All of them are bolted to the floor.

"Come on, we'll be talking to someone shortly, but first there's some prep work that has to be done," Corvan says calmly, but it makes the hairs on the back of Izuku's neck stand.

"Talk about…?"

"Oh the fun stuff, what we had for lunch, what we'll talk about," Corvan drops into one of the two chairs on their side and gives him a side eyed look. "Our terrible bloody sins."

Because that's not fucking ominous.

Izuku stares at him for a time, looking over to the guard at the door before stepping in. It closes behind them, leaving Izuku trapped in a room with Corvan and whomever the man has decided to bring in.

Izuku chooses to sit in the seat on the prisoner's side, and if that decision gives Corvan any pause then the man doesn't show it. Instead a suspicious silence settles over the two, Corvan looking content to stew in the quiet even if Izuku is not.

"Soooo."

"Tell me about your Quirks," Corvan says, and Izuku jerks slightly because they're in public.

"Corvan," He hisses, shooting a look to the guard by the door.

Corvan dismisses it with a wave of his hand. "There's soundproofing in specific rooms here for client-attorney privilege. We can discuss it here."
It doesn't make him feel any better, but there's little he can do to dissuade Corvan now. He's locked in the room with the man with no way out.

"The ones I took or the ones that I inherited?" Izuku askes, already feeling a headache coming on.

He should have called in sick or something. Uraraka had mentioned going rock climbing or something today with Asui and Kirishima. She had invited him. And he'd told her maybe another time and chosen to deal with Corvan and his bullshit today.

"Took."

He sighs. Of course.

"Cremation I took from Dabi. Twice I took from Bubaigawara. Compress I took from Mr. Compress or Atsuhiro Sako. His dad was a thief," Izuku waves off the rest of that story- it was one he would mutter every now and then. Most often to Izuku as he was working. "Transform I took from Toga."

"But you left Spinner with his," Corvan interrupts, and Izuku gives him a glare for the effort.

"He had a mutation Quirk," Izuku reasons, hesitating for a moment before expanding on that. "Spinner was the kindest to me- even if he didn't do anything for me."

"So, you reasoned it was fair to take their Quirks in exchange for the cruelties they rained down upon you?"

"Yes," Izuku says, and immediately it feels like both the right and wrong answer. "Maybe?" And Corvan only has to give him a look for his resolve to crumble into dust. "No. I guess not."

He doesn't interrupt, and instead just sits in his chair and lets Izuku work through the thoughts on his own.

"It's wrong," Izuku finally says, leaning back in the chair and setting his feet on the corner of the metal table. "Legally speaking it was wrong of me- and a violation of their rights to steal their Quirks."

It's a statement that he has to deliver with a solemn huff at the end and a pursing of his lips. Because he knows what the law thinks about it and he knows what he thinks about it.

"I don't care about what it says, legally. What do you think? Do they deserve to have their Quirks taken away?" Corvan replies leveled and measured as he considers him.

Izuku huffs, pursing his lips at the harder question.

"I-" And he stops, because he knows and doesn't know the answer any more.

Dabi was a monster. Dabi had to be a monster because if he was a man then- Izuku swallows, blinks and considers. Dabi was the result of a child that grew up learning that only power brought attention- and that the strong ruled- and the only way to get attention from his father was to be something his father had to fight.

Dabi was a monster but he was a monster trying to hide the fact he was still just a lost child.

Did that mean his Quirk deserved to be ripped from him so cruelly? Even after all the shit he did, all the lives he took, all the coffins he filled- did it justify taking away what he defined himself as?

Mr. Compress was a different case altogether. The man wasn't concerned with his Quirk, and was likely one of the few in the League that didn't define himself by it. He was a showman, dedicated to garnering fame and spotlight of any kind in order to surpass the fame and myth of those before him.

He was just a man trying to become king of his own world. The star of his own show even.

Twice was-

Twice was someone that Izuku felt he could pity. Especially now, after sessions and sessions working with Corvan on what people did when they were scared. Twice was always scared: of himself, of other people, and of life. He was terrified. And that terror took on the form of anger and rage, fueling kicks and punches and screams because the man did not know what else could drive away the demons that lived in his own head.

And Toga-

Izuku finches, wrapping his arms around himself. Between her and Dabi there wasn't more than a few inches from his fingers to his shoulders that didn't have a scar crossing over it. None of them were large, ugly things of torn or sunken flesh- most were silver slivers or puckered pink lines from thin knives or dots of discoloration from Dabi burning a hole one fingerprint wide into Izuku's forearms.

But Toga took pleasure in it. She craved the scent of blood in the air.

"They're where they deserve to be," Izuku finally says.

"Do they deserve to be Quirkless?" Corvan challenges easily, setting his hands on the table.

"After everything they've done, maybe they do."

"And is that something that you can judge?" Corvan pushes him again, leaning forward in the seat just a hair more- and Izuku knows he's trying to get a rise out of him- but it's working.

"They tortured me!" He hisses. Corvan hums back and Izuku continues. "Dabi would burn palm prints on my back, there are dozens of scars on my arms because Toga would get agitated and just need the scent of blood in the air. They deserve what they got."

"But do they?" Corvan challenges it calmly.

Too calmly.

Izuku slaps the table, mouth open to snarl something back just before he restrains it. He swallows, tries to slow his breathing as he grips the table.

"They have killed countless people," Izuku starts soft, forcing himself to say it in a controlled tone. "Corpse upon corpse, some of them Heroes, they masterminded a plot that crippled All-Might, left holes in the Hero roster that are still struggling to be filled, and founded an organization- or would have- that would have sent the world into chaos."

"Do they deserve to have their Quirks ripped away- something they define themselves by- because of choices outside of their control?" Corvan reiterates, and Izuku grits his teeth because-

"They made their own fucking choices! They made choices for me! Ordered me to kill, ordered me to collapse buildings and steal Quirks and do…" Izuku stalls, staring at his clenched hands for a moment. At the hands that have broken bones and ruined Hero careers and scared so many people through the years.

"They tortured me. Dabi. Toga. Twice. They would beat me until I couldn't stand or cut my skin until I was sure I was more blood than skin and she would…" His voice trembles, "she would just pin me down and lap it up. Like a dog. Or. Or a leech."

He looks up at Corvan. "They deserve it."

Corvan hums, nodding before opening his mouth, and if Izuku hadn't been looking he wouldn't have even noticed it. The shift in Corvan' stance, the flex in his shoulders and the look of surprise in his expression, just before he blinks and the grey irises are replaced with red and white sclera is tainted black.

Corvan's hand snags on Izuku's shirt collar, jerking him to lean over the desk. "Listen here you little fuck." Corvan's voice is dark and rough- like his words are curling up his throat from the darkest recess of the man's chest.

Izuku doesn't even know what to say. The personality shift is so sudden- so quick- that his only reaction is to clasp his hands over Corvan's wrist and try to balance half on the table and half off it.

"You want to talk about pain?" Corvan growls in a voice that can't be his own. "Let me tell you- Corvan lives in pain- pain I caused him- pain I bled into his innocent little soul. I ripped him out of the light and pulled him into the shadows he feared. I fed his screams to the beasts that live in the dark because no one deserves to see that kind of monster. You want to talk about torture? Try fighting your own shadow for your entire life. You can't run because there is no place you can escape the dark." Corvan's grip tightens, his lips peeling back into a snarl.

The pupil in Corvan's left eye separates, breaking off until a plethora of little red eyes are staring at him.

"You wouldn't last a minute with a shadow wolf in the dark," Corvan snorts, rolling his eyes at him. "And Corvan seems to think you-" His own hand slaps over his mouth and one of the eyes bleeds back to normal.

"Get." One side of Corvan's mouth shifts from a smirk to a snarl. "Out." The hand shutters, and then the red eye condenses and fades- grey and white returning as Corvan lets Izuku go.

They stumble back. Izuku drops back into his chair in a daze, watching as his therapist staggers back into the wall of the room. He hunches over, elbows on his knees as he takes a handful of deep breaths.

He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair before giving Izuku a pained look. "Didn't expect him to take over like that," Corvan mutters.

"Him? Take over?" Izuku asks, and Corvan winks at him before pushing himself back up.

"We'll discuss that later," Corvan brushes it off just as he does his pants before moving back to the table.

His first few steps are a touch unsteady but the man recovers quickly as he leans against the back of his chair. "Toga Himiko," He says. "What do you think would have helped Toga Himiko?"

Izuku blinks, a bit unsure how to even start with that question. But it's Corvan who's asking, which means it's an answer that isn't instinctual but one he has to think through.

Would have helped Toga? She was always driven by her Quirk… Blood always drew her attention, usually his, and it was something that she got antsy about if someone she liked got away without her getting a taste.

"What do you think would have helped her?" Corvan presses just a little bit louder.

Blood? Knives? She was a loose cannon. Her personality was unstable, her mind always on what her Quirk did and not what she wanted or could be. Izuku shook his head, frowning.

"I. I don't," Izuku starts and stops and shrugs.

Help- of course. But Corvan didn't take half-assed answers.

Corvan shakes his head, "What would have helped her Izuku?" and even though he does not shout it's unsettling and nerve-wracking after the shift in his character.

"Therapy?" Izuku suggests hurriedly, then specifies, "Quirk therapy?"

Corvan hums, and then smiles. "Right answer." And he walks around the chair and drops into it.

Izuku isn't sure he feels like it's the right answer.

"Why?" Corvan pushes again, and Izuku feels like he's just dug himself into more of a hole instead of out of one.

"I…"

Corvan narrows his eyes and Izuku returns the look.

So silence follows.

Izuku staring at him, and Corvan staring back.

"I think…" Izuku starts and stops again, but Corvan gestures for him to keep going. "I think she needed to have an understanding of… of how her Quirk worked. And what it did. Right and wrong."

"Her Quirk allowed her to transform into someone, or something, so long as she had blood." Corvan reminds, "I don't think that Quirk would have gone over well regardless of how well she was informed of its purposes."

Izuku purses his lips, considering that. His fingers find the table, drumming on it for a moment before he says, "I think it would have." And Corvan hums, sitting forward in his chair at that. "She couldn't change her Quirk but I think she could have tempered it. Realized what it does- and how it can hurt people- and I think that would have made all the difference. Just. Setting up that boundary."

"An understanding of the Quirk?" Corvan suggests, one eyebrow cocked.

"Exactly."

Corvan hums and considers it, nodding his head for a moment before he looks at Izuku again. "And do you think not having her Quirk has helped her deal with it?"

His mouth is dry. And Izuku doesn't know what to say to that. "Pro…Probably not," he admits.

"And do you think that- because your Quirk allows you to take away theirs- that it was something that should have been done? To rip away part of their identities- even if they were using them wrongfully?"

"I…"

"That under someone's authority you have been given the right or ability to deprive people of something they have simply because it is not acceptable or-" Corvan pauses and cuts himself off.

"No!"

"So what gave you the right to take their Quirk- when you yourself don't even want to give them to someone without their consent?"

That's the question.

That's what all of this was about.

Izuku leans back in the chair, sliding his hands through his hair and teasing the green locks before running them back down and covering his face.

That's what it all was about wasn't it?

He had called the League monsters for attacking others and taking away their dreams and killing others, but what made him any different? He'd still violated the same principles they had.

"Nothing," Izuku whispers.

"Nothing or yourself?"

"Nothing," he repeats, "I had no right to do it. It was- I wanted to!" He lets out a shaky breath as his fingers comb through his hair again. "I know it wasn't right, it wasn't something a Hero would do- but I did it because I felt like- Like." He swallows. "Like they should understand for once just how it feels to be powerless."

"And?"

Izuku blinks, looking up at Corvan. "And what?"

"Do you think that it was still the right thing to do?"

Izuku pulls his hands free from his hair, drumming them on the table for a time before shaking his head. "I… I think it was poetic. I think it might be what they deserve. But…" he trails off.

For some reason Uraraka comes to mind.

A smile on her lips as she enjoys a sandwich across the table from him.

Her look of determination as she charges right into a fight she may or may not be outmatched for.

Her strange sense of hope, that radiated off her without question of pause.

"I don't think it's what a Hero would do," he finally says.

Because it's not what Uraraka would have done. And if there is anyone that he can respect as a Hero, it's the woman that saved his mother and the woman that can still look at him without hate or blame. She can still smile at him- even after all he's done to her and to others.

"I don't think it's what I should have done. Not anymore."

Corvan chuckles, clapping his hands together. "That- my friend- is a wonderful answer."

It's a distinction that Izuku notices with Corvan, but one that reappears now. Sometimes Corvan will specify when an answer is 'right' and it makes Izuku wonder if when he doesn't- there are multiple answers.

"So-" Izuku hesitates, looking around the room. "Who are we here to see?"

Corvan smirks, and it's one of those smiles that's all too devious and all too cryptic for Izuku to feel comfortable seeing.

The door behind him clicks open, and the shuffling of chains- slow and staggered- makes him turn, but it's the person clasped in the chains that launches him to his feet.

Tangled locks of blonde hair that was once pulled up in twin buns is now clipped short into a basic bob. Eyes that once used to dart and shift and squint at him focus instead on the ground and her own shuffling feet.

"T-Toga?" He whispers it, and instead of giving a reply the woman just shuffles the rest of the way into the room.

She jerks at her name, and he can see the flex in his body as she suddenly realizes who exactly is in the room with her. Her eyes flash to him- but instead of hate or desire in them all he can see in the trembling orbs is fear.

He isn't sure how he feels about that.

"Ms. Toga," Corvan sliding into the moment smoothly, "could you please take a seat?"

The imprisoned villain shuffles the rest of the across the room and drops into the chair Izuku had been in like a boneless corpse. She hunches over in the chair until her chin nearly touches the table and she can almost grip her ankles.

"What… what more do you need from me?" She whispers in a voice so broken and soft Izuku can't be sure it's the same person that used to snarl and coo at him.

What more?

A pound of flesh- as the saying went… Izuku gritted his teeth, fingers curling into his palms as he reconsidered that thought.

"Nothing," Corvan replies, eyes falling to Izuku. "I think you've done quite enough."

"So… so why am I here…" She trails off, suddenly looking to Izuku.

He wants to see the abuser. Izuku wants to look down at this poor broken monster and see the woman that slid knives into his flesh and licked his blood from each cut with a smile. He wants to see the monster that did this to him.

But all he can see is a poor broken soul that should have been saved instead of abused back. A girl that was misunderstood and hated because her Quirk drove her to such an extreme to get what it wanted that she went off the deep end.

And it doesn't make it right.

It doesn't make it any better.

It doesn't change the fact that he has scars on his body and wounds that aren't just physical. Or that he has issues because of her- about people touching his skin or getting close to him because she never left him without a cut when she did. He has issues with her Quirk too- recognizing what it's done to his mind and realizing that she was a victim too.

He doesn't want to see that side of her.

He wants to see the person he can hate.

The person he can hit and break and shatter and rip to shreds.

But all Toga Himiko really is underneath all the blood and the rage was a lonely misunderstood girl that probably should have gone to therapy as a child.

"Fuck," he growls, stalking away across the room. Corvan snorts at that, but he can still feel the weight of his stare as Izuku paces from one side of the room to the other.

He paces from the prisoner's door to the visitor's door and back, completing the circuit three times before he stops to look at Corvan.

The man smiles at him, and naturally does not weigh in on his decision.

So Izuku turns his gaze to Toga. The woman stares at him- confusion in her eyes before suddenly she flinches and looks back down at her feet.

He hurt her.

In a way that Toga didn't even realize it was possible to be hurt.

He had reduced someone that lorded over his life into a nervous wreck of a human being all because he decided to rip out the only thing she had ever bothered to define herself by.

"Are there therapists in the prison?" Izuku finds himself asking.

"Hmm." Corvan shrugs and smiles at him because the man is a little shit and they both know it. "Would it change your decision?"

Yes.

No.

Fuck.

"I guess not," Izuku grumbles, taking three of the hardest steps in his life as he crosses the room and grabs Toga's arm.

"I-No! Stop! Don't!" She immediately screams, thrashing in her chair even as Izuku reaches for the power of a Quirk he never wanted.

She freezes. Her eyes wide and her mouth cracked open to scream again as it floods back into her- greedy to return to its original host. Something in her snaps as it does, because tears bloom in the corner of her eyes and as soon as Izuku takes his hand away she curls up in the chair and shivers and holds herself.

"Is that the right choice?" Corvan asks.

Izuku stares at the woman for a moment longer, watching as the tears drip down her face and hit the cold concrete. Part of him says no.

She is a killer. Toga Himiko has a ledger that is bleeding through the bindings and spilling onto the floor. She is cruel and psychotic, she is dangerous and volatile. She is everything a Hero should stop and more.

Toga Himiko is also a girl. Shunned and abused at a young age for a Quirk she could not control- just like Izuku was for not having a Quirk. She was exiled and because of that- she devolved into this. She could have made better choices, could have decided to recognize the consequences to her actions and work to be better, but she did not.

And neither did the people around her.

"It's not the wrong one," Izuku decides, shoving his hands in his pockets and turning away. "At least not for me."

Because if nothing else it reminded him that sometimes villains are victims too. How even though Toga Himiko was a cruel and wicked woman, she was also scared and alone and confused.

And that he was just the same.

Whether he wanted to fully admit that or not…

Corvan does not explain the shifts in his eye color. Corvan does not bring it up once they leave the prison, nor does he offer any half-assed explanation as to why or what happened in the room. And Izuku knows better than to ask at this point.

If it is important, he will tell him.

Give and take.

Right? Right?

The fact that Lemillion is waiting in costume in Corvan's office for their next session does not support that theory.

Not at all.

Izuku blinks, reexamining his therapist- who is humming in by the brewing kettle- before turning his attention back to the man in the middle of Corvan's office.

"Uhhhhh can I help you?" Izuku manages as he eases in through the doorway.

"Fight me!" Lemillion - Number Two Hero and nicknamed the "Symbol of Hope" by the general public- says.

Izuku has a feeling that ranking would change after the newest polls. Hawks was good at what he did, but there was only so much the man could do with pure speed and experience when Lemillion was closing 23% more cases and had nearly the same cost in collateral damage and a significantly better rapport with the media.

There was also the fact Lemillion frequently took his adopted daughter to social events.

That kinda helped with positive publicity.

"You want me to what?" Izuku reiterates, shaking his head and trying to puzzle through the statement.

"Fight me!" Lemillion smiled at him again, and Corvan thankfully provided an explanation.

"I called him here." Oh thank God. "There are certain things in your training that I can do," Corvan picks up the kettle, pouring three cups of tea- one into a teacup, two into traditional mugs. "But if it's modifying your combat style, then I'm way out of my depth. If you ever landed one of those super-punches on me then you'd shatter everything in my body."

"So, he called me!"

Which.

Okay.

But.

But.

Izuku blinks again, "Can I ask why?"

"Because your provisional license test is coming up," Corvan replies, carrying a tray of tea across the room. "Mirio." He stops next to the Hero.

"My what-now?"

"It's like your starter's license! You just have to-"

"I know what it is!" Izuku interrupts Lemillion, "What do you mean I have one? Like. A test." He pauses, then frowns and looks at Lemillion.

Corvan takes a sip of his tea and looks at Lemillion.

"Well- You always wanted to be a Hero- am I right?" The Hero replies, and Izuku doesn't know how or what to even say to that.

Luckily he doesn't have to respond, because Lemillion fills in the rest. "Your circumstances were a bit unusual as well, and I wasn't on site so I had to get secondhand information from the Heroes that were. From what I got though, on how you fought, and how you reacted once your mom was free. You willfully surrendered to the Heroes, and you aided in the capture of the other villains. Those two things really showed your HERO SPIRIT!"

Oh wow. He does do the thumbs up pose like All Might used to.

Izuku blinks, staring at him for a moment longer before, "But I hurt people. I haven't even finished my therapy yet, and you want me to take a provisional license test?"

"Supervised," Corvan interjects. "By me, and several other Pro Heroes, some of them Underground, in order to determine if your becoming a Hero is truly a viable option."

"So what was everything up until now?" Izuku asks, "Getting me help, therapy, walking me through all my mistakes? If the Hero Association wants me to become a Hero, but they want to test me first, then what has everything up until this been?"

"Training. Balancing. Help," Corvan offers. "It isn't fair to grade someone on what they can be, when they don't even know who they are or what they are capable of being."

And that's.

Okay.

Izuku blinks, then frowns again. Finally, he pulls his gaze off his therapist and instead fixes his eyes on Lemillion. "Alright." He nods. "Let's see if I'm really Hero material or not."

Decidedly not.

Lemillion's fist smashes into Izuku's jaw- bones crunching before Izuku spins away and hits the ground once again. He rolls back to his feet, feeling rather than seeing the next attack. Rivet Stab allows him to anchor his hands and flip up to avoid Lemillion's axe kick, but he doesn't have the time or agility to avoid the roundhouse kick that sends him tumbling across the training area.

Dirt and grass bites into his exposed skin before he rolls to a stop.

"Need a break?"

Izuku slowly pulls his face out of the dirt to glare at Corvan- who has taken up residence under a shady tree, citing "the sun gives me headaches" as an excuse.

Which- given his shadowy Quirk- could be a possibility.

"Need me to rip-"

"Heroes don't get a break in a fight!" Lemillion warns just before Izuku sees the flat of his foot appear out of the ground and gunning for his face.

A push-up surprisingly is all it takes to dodge it, and the foot sweeps back into the ground where the Hero is hiding. The ground that Izuku can control.

Overhaul flares to life in his veins as he reconstructs the ground beneath him.

Lemillion yelps suddenly, as he no longer exists in the in-between but in the middle of a twenty meter pit. Izuku can't help the savage grin on his lips at catching the Hero by surprise.

It doesn't last long though.

Lemillion's Quirk is a piece of overpowered shit.

The ground shatters underneath Izuku, and he doesn't get a chance to dodge as Lemillion spirals through the dirt to deliver an uppercut into Izuku's gut. There's a moment of tension.

A moment where Izuku flinches and grits his teeth as Lemillion's fist sinks a bit deeper into the muscle of his stomach before the full impact of the blow catches up with it. It's a moment where pain is not an abstract thought but a physical presence that can be felt and touched and heard.

Lemillion twists, turning the uppercut into a downward smash that sends Izuku down into the pit he just created.

Darkness follows the dirt as Izuku punches through the ground. He rotates, scrambling through his thoughts before reorganizing them.

He had Air Cannon, Overhaul, Muscle Adaptation- which he hated using- Compression, Twice, Cremation, Rivet Stab and Warping.

…Warping…

"Corvan put me in Lemillion's shadow," Izuku orders as he slaps a palm to the side of the pit wall.

Rivet Stab holds him for the brief moment it takes him to create a ledge to stand on.

There's a moment of pause, a moment where he doesn't think Corvan heard him, or doesn't want to help him. But he remembers the first lesson, that some villains aren't going to match up with him. Lemillion is one of those opponents for the fact that he can't be touched.

But he also can't escape his own shadow, no matter how far he runs. Izuku pauses, reconsidering that. If he was in the ground… or if… No. He shakes his head. If nothing else it will be a true surprise attack and Corvan can surely control where Izuku will pop out.

A singular red eye appears on the wall beside Izuku's head, a smile appearing next to it a moment later.

"Freed speaking."

Freed?

"Is there a difference?" He asks quietly.

The smile cracks open to laugh softly. "Oh trust me- there is. What do you need pipsqueak?"

Pipsqueak is a new one.

"Lemillion's shadow."

"Stay on the path and if something howls run." And 'Freed' disappears into the dark wall, a hand extending out of it a moment later.

Izuku takes it, securing his grip on the appendage just before 'Freed' pulls him into the darkness of the wall.

The shadows are different this time. Thicker, inkier and more distinct in shape as Izuku suddenly finds that instead of tumbling through it, he can stand.

There's a copy of Corvan standing next to him in the blackness. An exact replica of the man, save for his skin being gray and his eyes glaring red. The replica smiles, and something in those eyes bursts apart and the pupil is suddenly a dozen instead of one.

"Hurry along little boy. Mortals don't belong in this realm," the replica warns, sweeping a hand out as the shadows shift and refocus.

A walkway expands, a shifting light at the end only a few paces before him.

Izuku takes a step towards it, but hesitates when the replica holds a finger up.

"Do me a favor." And Izuku cocks and eyebrow at him. "Tell Corvan to let me out a bit more." And the replica winks. "I promise I'll behave if it's a bit more regular."

He doesn't know what to say to that. So instead he charges forward, feet drumming on the solid darkness. Distance is hard to judge on the path but he feels more than he sees that he has the room as the light strengthens. He takes another two steps and jumps, bursting through the light feet first.

There's a fragment of time where light and gravity conflict and momentum struggles to match as Izuku emerges from Lemillion's shadow. He doesn't have time to catch everything when he comes out, only the satisfying crunch of Lemillion's nose as his booted feet smash into the Hero's face.

Then dirt once more.

He tumbles, flailing for traction before digging his feet in and surging back to the stunned Hero.

"How-" The Hero starts just before Izuku gets the pleasure of landing a solid kidney shot into the Hero.

There's a small part in Izuku's mind that hopes it really hurts.

The Hero drops through the ground again, reappearing a few feet away holding his side and grimacing.

"Ouch!" He gives Izuku a thumbs up as he pinches his nose with his free hand. "Neat trick."

"Not mine," Izuku replies, looking over to Corvan.

There's a frown on the man's face, a grit in his teeth as he marches over, holding a hand up to stop Lemillion. "What did you do?" He demands.

"Asked for help- because I knew I could not win alone." Izuku replies evenly.

It gives Corvan pause, and the man chews his inner lip before exhaling slowly. "You got Freed, not me," he replies.

And Izuku wonders if that implies the replica in Corvan's… Shadow…realm? Is a separate entity in its entirety.

"Practice will have to end for today. I need to have a talk with Freed-"

"He says he wants to have a more regular outing," Izuku puts in- to which Corvan glares at him.

"And you have a date," Corvan finishes.

"I have patrol!" Lemillion helpfully puts in, but it's a point Izuku frowns and argues on.

"I thought you had morning patrols." Izuku gestures to the afternoon sky, "you should already be off the clock."

"When does a Hero ever really get off the clock?" Lemillion replies with a grin and another thumbs up. "Besides, Eri likes to stay late after school, and I like picking her up from there- so I might as well patrol while I go!"

It's a stunningly simple note.

And it's one of those things that he hasn't thought about in a while. He hums, drumming his fingers on his pants for a time before turning back to Corvan.

"So-" He begins.

"So-" Corvan mimics, then sighs, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. "I guess you're curious…"

"A bit." Izuku pauses, and then smiles. "But I have to be your friend for you to open up. I'm not going to force you to talk about something you don't want to."

Corvan snorts and shakes his head at that. "I can make a long story short. You have somewhere you need to be." It's a bit unnerving how easily Corvan finds out about his personal plans. "But the gist of it is that my Quirk comes with drawbacks. The simple definition is that I can jump from one shadow to the next. The complex is that shadows become a doorway into a different… space." He says space like he isn't certain of it either.

"Your copy said 'realm,'" Izuku offers helpfully.

Corvan shrugs. "Realm works. But it exists in the same space as this one, but the denizens of it are… different. It's not a kind world- what lives in the dark- and even the copy of me you saw there isn't always. When my Quirk first manifested- he would often try to kill me."

What? A Quirk trying to kill it's own user?

"How does that-"

Corvan waves off the question. "Another time. What you need to know is this. My Quirk comes with attachments, some good, some bad, and sometimes it can be very powerful, especially if I can get Freed- that's what I call him- to work with me."

"So he can be…" Izuku starts and stops because- you know what- he doesn't need to know this much about his therapist's Quirk.

It could be that instead of creating an entire realm, Corvan's Quirk simply allowed for access to it. Which also begged the question of- if it allowed access instead of creation of a 'Shadowrealm' then the realm was there all along. Somehow layered on top of their own reality and filled with all the different monsters or demons that lived there.

God, that was so cool.

He really wanted to ask more about it.

Did the 'Shadowrealm' have quirk-users? What animals were there? Did 'Freed' act independent of what Corvan did? Actually that one might have answered itself... Could 'Freed' manifest himself fully into this world- or was it restricted?

So many questions.

So many questions.

"Hey," Corvan interrupts his thoughts by slapping a hand on his shoulder. "You did great today choosing to ask for help against Lemillion."

He blinks, unsure how to take that praise. Because it's not like it's the first time Corvan has said it, but it's the first time the man has assured him even after he hasn't exactly succeeded.

"I…Uh. Well… Thank you?" He tries.

Corvan steps away. "You'll be a great Hero yet, Izuku. You have it. Don't forget who you are along the way though." And then the man gestures at his own shadow. "Even if you can't get away from what ties you down."

He should be nervous.

At least, he feels like he should be nervous.

"Are you nervous?" Uraraka flashes him a smile as he flips his ID around in his hands.

"I don't… think… so?" He tries not to sound like he's suggesting it but it ends up coming out that way.

She laughs, and he wishes he could bottle that sound and get drunk on it every night.

She fiddles with her own fingers, and he wonders if it's because this is her day off and she chose to waste it seeing his provisional test. He insisted that she go out and do something, go see Iida, or any of her other friends, but she had insisted that this was important and she didn't want to be anywhere else.

"Are you sure you don't want to see Ingenium?" He asks- because Iida is too personal- and he can't say the name without being bitter about it.

She nods. "He knows what this means to me." A pause, then a laugh, "Besides I think he has a date or something anyway!"

A date?

But if Iida has a date.

And Uraraka isn't-

Then that means-

She was-

He's-

He blinks and blurts out his next thought before it has a change to filter, "You're single?" Fuck. He said it.

She freezes, meeting his stare in a look of shock. He can feel the heat burning across his face, and see a matching blush creep up the back of her neck before they both look away.

"So uh-" He has nothing to broach the awkward silence, nothing to say or suggest because he's such an idiot.

A Hero was spending time with him and checking in on him week after week and he had the audacity to ask about her dating life. He had no right. He had no use in knowing if a girl like her was available because there was no chance of her ever being interested in a guy like him.

"You'll do great," she says suddenly, and it takes him a moment to realize she's saying that because the doors into the exam have opened, and a bell is ringing for him to enter.

He stands, shifting uncertainty before taking a step towards it.

He stops at the threshold of it, staring out into the mock disaster-rescue-defense situation. He knows that there will be employees stranded around the arena, trapped under rubble or hiding from fake villains. He knows he has a timeline to get them, and a certain score he has to get in order to pass. There will be villains to fight throughout and people to save and things to do and-

"How do you know?" He asks, turning back to the woman that for some reason keeps believing in him when he himself cannot. "How do you know I'll do great?"

He isn't. And he isn't for a lot of different reasons- not just because he was a villain or because he hurt her boss (her new crown is silver and it admittedly looks pretty good). It's not just because he has forced Corvan- a man who has much better things to do and can be anywhere in the world with his Quirk- to deal with him twice a week for therapy and fighting and movies. It's not just because he took up Lemillion- and a dozen other Heroes- time because Corvan somehow has favors he can call in that get Pinky and Red Riot and Sugar Rush to spar against a man that truly should be in jail or on death row.

There's a plethora of reasons that justify why Uraraka Ochako shouldn't bother wasting her time attending his provisional license test.

There are just as many reasons why Uraraka Ochako should have doubts about him and his ability. He couldn't protect his mom. He couldn't protect her friends. He couldn't protect himself.

"Because I believe in you silly." She flashes him a smile that he could get drunk on, too.

"Why?"

She shrugs, and the bell rings again and reminds them both that he only has a minute to get into the arena.

"Because I do," she urges. "I know you'll do great! You just have to get out there."

"But how can you believe in me when…" He hesitates, but remembers that Corvan has always encouraged him about being open with the people he trusts- and if he can't trust the woman that saved his mom and him- he doesn't think he can trust anyone. "How can you believe in me when I don't?"

She huffs, setting her hands on her hips. "I do- alright? And I'll tell you all the reasons why when you get out there and win this thing! But if you don't believe in yourself, then you'll just have to believe in me who believes in you- okay?"

It's ridiculous logic, but he finds that it's logic that he can get behind. He does believe in her. If he didn't then he wouldn't have trusted her all those months ago. And maybe there was something else there- something that urged him to trust the woman that had altered his life. A voice from a distant past or future, or maybe someone from another universe ensuring that he offered her the chance to change everything.

He does believe in her.

And if she believes in him, and he believes in her…

Then that will have to be enough.

"Okay," he says, stepping back and across the threshold into the arena. "I believe in you."

She flashes him a thumbs up and gives him a wink. "And I believe in you! So, go get out there and kick some butt and save some lives!"

She believes in him. And for some reason it's enough.

He'll have to make sure he passes then. She isn't the kind of woman he wants to let down.