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( /RoryWild4)

And Bertaz too! (She draws Escalin sooooo well! She's an inspiration and a huge help every time!)

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CHAPTER 5

He was feeling something, and wasn't that strange in itself? He didn't remember where he was, what he was doing, nothing, just that he was suddenly feeling something, his consciousness was resurfacing gradually, he felt like he was surrounded by water, he had his eyes closed but knew that he was being pulled up.

What will he find once out of the water? He didn't know, but the pull that he felt forced him to continue his ascent to the surface.

He felt like a light had surrounded him when he was almost out, blinding him even through his eyelids.

After the light has vanished he could feel even more: he knew he had his eyes closed still, and was lying on something, a bed maybe, he could feel warmth around him, so maybe he was under some blankets, he could feel some kind of pillow under his head, his body felt heavy, and if he wanted to know more he had to open his eyes.

With some effort he gradually did just that, he was looking at an unknown ceiling, blinking he slowly turned his head to one side, then the other, trying to understand where he was. The room was simple, but full of bookcases, books, and tables, for what he could see in that position. It felt like something familiar but he couldn't put his finger on exactly why it felt like that.

Turning his head to his left, after taking in the room, he suddenly noticed something else. Someone else really.

Sitting on a chair beside him there was a woman, she was obviously asleep, with her head on her crossed arms, she was bent forward at the waist, leaning on the bed. It couldn't be a comfortable position.

He could just see raven hair, and suddenly he felt warmth in his chest and his heart was beating a little faster.

This woman...he knew her.

He tested his limbs, everything seemed okay, slowly and with some effort, he moved his left arm, his hand coming in contact with her, first her arm, her skin was so soft, and then went higher, beginning to caress her hair gently and clumsily, they were like silk; he didn't know if he was doing it to wake her up or because he just felt like it, he felt it was more an affectionate gesture.

Inevitably she began to wake, groaning and moving slightly.

He was unconsciously holding his breath, waiting anxiously to see her eyes, he didn't really know why, but he had to see them.

Merlin was slowly waking up, without her magic she had been a lot more tired these days, maybe her body was still trying to find its balance. With some effort she began opening her eyes, she could instantly feel the kinks in her body because of the strange position she had fell asleep into, and gradually tried to lift her head feeling something fall from her hair to her arm, that stopped her movements, and trying to focus her eyes on what that could be, she found a hand. Uh, strange, her hands were under her arms, and the only other person in the room besides her...

Her brain needed just a few seconds to catch up to what that meant.

Her eyes suddenly grew bigger in surprise, the drowsiness vanished immediately, and she began lifting her head again to look at the only other person in the room who had been asleep for the past three days and a half.

When their eyes met the time seemed to stop for both of them: Merlin couldn't begin to put in order all the things she was feeling, she was so relieved and happy to finally see the magnificent blue of his eyes looking at her that she almost wanted to cry, while Escanor was having a similar problem about his feelings, he was experiencing so many things just looking in her eyes, that for a second he wasn't able to even breath, he knew her! He knew her well!

"M..Mer.."

He tried to say her name but a fit of cough interrupted him, his throat was like sand.

At that the Mage woke up even more, and trying to dismiss everything else inside her, called forth her brain functions and assessed the situation.

"You need water."

On instinct she gestured with her hand, only for huffing right after as nothing happened.

"Wait a moment."

She stood up, grimacing a little from the pain her body was in, and groggily stumbled towards her bathroom to retrieve what she needed.

Escanor's choughs had quieted down, he was slightly massaging his dry throat. She came back quickly, putting the glass filled with water on the nightstand before going back to his side to help lift him up a little so that he could drink better. She rested her arm around his shoulders and he took the glass that she was offering him gratefully, her hand on his to help him hold the glass steady.

"Drink slowly."

He wanted to gulp everything down in one go, but knew that she was right, and did as she had suggested, the cool liquid was invigorating, but after finishing it he looked at her in question.

"I mixed in something to help your throat feel better."

She knew he would taste the different flavor. At her explanation he nodded, oh so grateful for her mindfulness.

She quickly readjusted his pillow so that he could stay up, and then gently laid him back on it, taking the glass from him and putting it back down on the nightstand.

"How do you feel?"

She had sat beside him on the bed, turned towards him, and was studying him closely, maybe a little too close than what was considered polite.

"I… my throat feels better already. Thank you Merlin."

Hearing her name spoken from his lips had her feel all warm, her skin tingling, she had missed it so much.

"I missed you."

She couldn't help herself whisper, her throat suddenly felt constricted with tears that were being held forcefully back.

"Am I in heaven?"

His question surprised her, he seemed confused, but it was to be expected.

He was looking around him again, he couldn't understand where he was, he knew it must be Merlin's lab and room, but didn't know if it was real or not, for all he knew this could just be something created by his imagination, it could be only in his mind.

"What do you remember?"

The Mage tried to understand how much of his situation he was aware of. He thought for a moment, closing his eyes, trying to recall what was the last thing he was doing.

"I remember… I remember the fight against the Demon King, I remember we won, and then…"

He reopened his eyes, realization and surprise written on his face, looking at her.

"So I am dead."

Merlin's eyes filled with hurt, she wasn't able to look him in the eyes anymore and lowered her head.

"Yes, you died."

The silence after that was full of pain and regret, especially from the Mage, while the Lion was looking at her sadly, he didn't like to see her hurt, all the more if he had been the one to hurt her, even if unintentionally.

He gently took her hand in his, caressing it, looking at their clasped hands with longing.

"Then this is just a dream."

He felt sad to know that this wasn't real, that he wouldn't see the real her again, but he was also grateful to have the possibility to stay in this illusion with her, at least for now; he didn't know how death worked.

Suddenly she took hold of his face, one hand on each cheek, and pressed her lips to his, in a desperate and passionate kiss, pressing herself to him.

Escanor was completely still, shocked to his core. He now remembered the kiss they had shared seconds before his departure.

"Don't say that this is a dream, don't say that this is not real, please."

She was only a whisper away from his face, her eyes almost pleading with him, and she couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

"I dreamt so much about this that I also feared going to sleep and then waking up only to discover that this was just another illusion, again."

She was looking at every one of his features, caressing his cheeks, and then returned to his beautiful, gentle, shocked, blue eyes.

"But not this time."

Now she was determined, now she was sure, she felt it, she felt him, she could touch him, hear him, look at him, taste him.

"This is real, you're finally back where you belong, it's real, it's real."

Her lower lip was trembling, and the only way he found to stop it was to press her to him again, and take it between his own. Her tears were flowing freely now, her sobs were silenced by his mouth which was massaging gently her own, his arms around her body holding her safely and securely against him, hers around his neck, her hands in his hair.

The kiss was almost chaste at first, both seeking and giving comfort, then began to deepen, their tongues finding each other, intertwining in their mouths, resulting in moans and groans.

At last they had to stop, both breathing hard and in need of more oxygen, but they didn't lose the hold on the other, looking at each other with affection, their eyes swirling with a multitude of feelings.

"I am so happy that this is real."

He whispered, caressing her cheek gently, looking at her in wonder when she leaned her head on his hand, covering it with her own, and planting a kiss on his palm.

"You don't know how grateful I am to have you here again."

She answered, never moving away from him, she needed to feel him close to her.

"I am too, but… what happened?"

He was frowning slightly, confused.

She sighed, looking down, she wasn't looking forward to this conversation, but he had to know.

He could feel her suddenly tense, her expression sad and worried.

"Merlin?..."

"Merlin are you awake?"

They hadn't heard the knocks nor the door opening, they turned to the side, seeing Elizabeth at the door.

"Oh! Escanor! You're finally awake!"

She exclaimed cheerfully, she could see that her arrival had interrupted something, and from the fact that the Mage wasn't looking at him and from her expression, she had a hint on what they were beginning to discuss.

She could understand Merlin's reluctance, but she thought that the woman had nothing to worry about.

"Hello princess!"

Escanor smiled at the goddess, but his gaze turned immediately on the woman still in his arms, who was suddenly avoiding his eyes. They were in the same position as before, so he began to caress her cheek again, also drawing circles on her back with his other hand, trying to comfort her and make her relax again.

Merlin caressed his hand on her face for a moment, then took it and repositioned it on her waist, while both her hands went to his chest.

"Hi Sis-Sis, checking up on us?"

Her head was turned completely to the side, trying to dismiss the conversation that had almost happened between her and the Lion.

"Yes! Mael will be here shortly, we can wait for him so that he can take care of him and I of you."

The Mage just nodded, but it was obvious that Escanor was very confused and had a lot of questions, he opened his mouth to ask but two fingers on his lips stopped him.

"I… we'll tell you everything after Mael makes sure that you're alright."

Her eyes were pleading with him, her concern for his well being apparent in her gaze, so he complied, nodding, and then took her hand to plant a gentle kiss on her fingers.

She smiled at the gesture, and then repositioned herself with her hands and head on his chest, her face buried in his neck, inhaling his scent, while he circled her body with his arms, hugging her to him and caressing her.

Elizabeth was trying to let them have their privacy, but smiled at the sweet scene.

Finally Mael arrived and was happy to see him awake too.

"It was time you woke up! We couldn't have restrained Merlin much longer!"

He put a hand on his shoulder, smiling, while the Lion looked perplexed and the Mage just shot the Archangel an annoyed glare, blushing a little.

"Well now we can take care of the both of you! Merlin come with me."

Elizabeth intervened to save the other goddess from Merlin, who reluctantly left her comfortable position on Escanor's chest and followed her Sis-Sis out of the room, turning to look at him again before leaving him in the care of the Archangel.

"Okay, time to get to work."

Mael didn't lose time, he knew that the Mage was restless to get back to the Lion's side, these past days they weren't able to make her leave the room, so they had to bring her food and force her to eat or she wouldn't have done that on her own.

Escanor did what he was told and let the other do what he needed to, to make sure he was in good health, but he couldn't keep his curiosity at bay.

"Mael, what happened?"

The Archangel looked surprised at him.

"She..?! She hadn't told you yet."

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I think… it's better if you wait for Merlin to tell you first."

He was nervous, and the Lion was even more confused, he was also beginning to get worried.

Why were they all so reluctant to tell him?

In the meantime Elizabeth was taking care of Merlin, she could feel and see that the younger woman was preoccupied and lost in her thoughts.

"Merlin, why haven't you told him anything yet?"

The Mage tensed even more than before.

"I...there hasn't been time, he just woke up."

She answered not looking at the other woman, who just sighed and tried a frontal assault.

"You're stalling. Tell me the truth Merlin, you know you can talk to me."

The Mage frowned at that, she knew that she was right, and maybe she could talk to her, maybe she would feel better then.

"I...I'm scared."

She almost whispered, but the goddess heard her anyway, stopping what she was doing to let her have all her attention.

"I meant what I told the Supreme Deity, this is for him, he deserves this chance no matter what his choices might be, but…"

She put her hands on her own arms, hugging herself.

"...but I'm so scared to lose him all over again! I'm scared that he may leave me, that he may not accept me after I tell him what I did, and all the things I've done…"

She was trembling, trying to contain her tears and fears.

"I don't want to lose him, I can't."

She finished in a broken whisper, her head down, eyes closed. Elizabeth was regarding her with a sad gaze, she didn't like to see her hurting, she tried to comfort her, hugging the other woman.

"Oh Merlin, it's normal to feel that way about the person most precious to you. I know it's scary, but I think you should be completely honest with him. And it's Escanor we're talking about, the man is head over heels in love with you! I don't think you have to worry so much."

Despite her words, the Mage couldn't help feeling scared still, this was too important for her.

This past year had opened her eyes, now she knew how much she cared for him, how she couldn't function well without him, he was her safe place.

What would she do if he rejected her after knowing everything?

My poor Merlin T.T but Escanor is there for her! *.*

I hope you liked this chapter ;D please comment! ^^