A/N Thank you all so much. Merle's going to talk about those women. Beth's going to talk about Tommy. Then all hell's going to break loose and their worlds will change in a flash.

Enjoy!

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He reaches out, taking a chance and taking her hand in his. It's not much, but it's a first step and he's grateful she doesn't pull away. Not yet anyway, but he's waiting for that.

This may be the closest she ever lets him get.

Getting with women is something he's joked about plenty, and yeah, even bragged about with his buddies. He won't be bragging about that shit to her. It's not something a man feels proud of when they're having to admit it to someone so fine.

He'll be honest though. Somewhere in his gut he senses that's the only way to go about this. He's been out there in the world and spent his time with the ladies, and he's spent absolutely no amount of time worrying about it or feeling bad about it. Sex is part of life, and it's a part of life he happens to be quite fond of.

Somehow, he isn't feeling quite so proud or nonchalant about it now. Not sitting next to this sweet woman and holding her small delicate hand. Instead he feels like a no-good philandering son of a bitch, and he's got to tell her that's who he is.

This woman. Damn this woman. Why does it feel like she has so much power over him? The whole thing makes no sense. She's too different. He's not even sure he knows how to be with a woman like her, or if he should be. Probably not. He's bought her and her boy a couple of meals. He'll get her car fixed, he could even give her a couple hundred bucks to help her out. That would be nice, but then, well, he could just get the fuck out of her life.

Yep, that would be the best thing for both of them.

Except fuck him, that's not what he wants. And he doesn't think that's what she wants either, but then she hasn't heard everything about the man he is.

She's not anything like him. Yeah, yeah, she might be a single woman with a child, but he's pretty damn sure that isn't because she was out screwing around with a bunch of guys and got caught. Nah, even as little as he knows about her, he's pretty sure that's not it.

The time has come for you to own up to the man you are Dixon. That doesn't mean a person has to be crude or harsh about it though. You can still try and dull those sharp edges. Fuck.

Before he begins his story he sits up a little straighter and breathes in deeply, "I don't wanna hurt ya, but I ain't gonna lie to ya either Beth. I know how lyin' ends. Later, if you heard some story or something, that'd be worse. Besides, if ya caught me in a lie you'd never believe another thing I said to ya."

This preface has only heightened her anxiety. How terrible must it be that he feels he has to prepare her for the worst? She can see the tension in his face and she knows this is not anything he wants to talk about, and she's having second thoughts herself. Does she really want to hear about his love life? What's the point?

She asked for it though. They're in this now and he begins to speak, "So yeah, the bartender wasn't lyin', at least not about everything. I guess you could say I been with a lot of women. It's that…well…I enjoy...," he pauses, he can't just say screwing around, or even having sex. That seems crude. He tries a softer approach, "I enjoy the comfort of a woman. I like the flirting, the teasing, the touching and yeah, the comfort."

His throat feels dry, her face is on fire and her dinner is suddenly feeling like a lead weight in her tummy.

Again he's got the urge to bolt, but he's also determined. He started and by gawd he's going to get through this, whether either one of them likes it or not, "I ain't ever been serious about a woman Beth. I mean I liked some and I guess you could say we were friends, but I ain't ever been in love or nuthin' even close ta that."

He takes in another deep breath before continuing, "I never dated a woman who still lived at home with Mama and Daddy, I never dated a married woman, I never dated two women at the same time. I never let a woman think I was the kind of man who stayed. I never made promises to a woman. I never been in love with a woman. I never even invited a woman home to my own house. I only called on them at their place. I damn sure wasn't plannin' on ever gettin' married. "

"I never have hurt a woman though, like, well um, like I ain't ever laid an angry hand on one or nuthin' like that. I never forced a woman ta do anything she didn't wanna do." Shit, should he be proud of that? Well, considering…yeah. He's always proud to be different than his old man.

The next part never seemed or felt as terrible as it does now, but he's saying it out loud to her, "I been known ta take women home from the bar, just for the night. Women I didn't have any feelings for at all other than to…to get comfort."

"I ain't proud Beth, but yeah, I been with a lot of women."

He can tell she's shook, her hand has gone limp in his and she hasn't looked up at him since he started talking. He softly squeezes her hand and tries to make it sound like a good thing when he adds, "I ain't ever had nuthin' to do with a woman who had a child."

Her voice is soft, hardly loud enough to hear, but what he can hear is the quiver in it when she starts to speak, "I understand. I didn't think…"

He stops her right there, "Beth, lemme finish. Please. The first time I saw ya I knew you were someone special, not like any of the women I'd ever been with. And I knew you were a woman I wanted to get to know. All those weeks I was comin in that joint talking to you and askin' you to go out, I can't imagine I ever would have done that with anyone else. If all I was looking for was a piece of…I mean if all I was lookin' for was the comfort of a woman, I coulda found that a lot of places."

Did that sound right? Shit, he isn't sure.

"It took me a while ta figure it out myself, that I wanted more than that with you. That what I wanted was to be with you, spend time with you and such. I wanted to see if we could get something going for ourselves. Not just find a little temporary comfort in each other. Something more than that. Feelings I guess you'd call it."

She's looking at him now, biting her lip because she knows, there's a "but" in there somewhere, and she's right, "I never expected there'd be a child in the mix. That's something I never wanted. I've deliberately avoided women who have kids."

She doesn't know what else to say, it's a simple statement of fact, "Well I have Tommy."

He can't help smiling a little when he acknowledges, "Yeah well, I guess I know that now, don't I?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"Ya had no reason to, it wasn't my business." He squeezes her hand again, "Now I'm thinking it could be my business, and if you'd tell me, I'd like ta know your story."

She's hurt, overwhelmed and confused, "Why Merle? You just said you don't get involved with anyone who has children. You said for you all women are good for is…well comfort or something. I can't be that for you. I can't just have boyfriends and do whatever I want anytime I feel like it. I have to protect Tommy and I have to protect myself too."

She looks him dead in the eye and gives it to him straight, "If I were to get involved with a man I would want so much more than just someone to share my bed."

She's right, he gets it. And he just told her he doesn't get involved with anyone, especially anyone with kids. He's never wanted that. He saw what went on with his own folks, shit, what a fucking nightmare existence that was. What if he turns into the old man? Shit, for all he knows it's in his blood.

Dammit though, ever since he saw her walking toward him that first day he's felt drawn to her. It was a feeling like she was supposed to be with him and he was supposed to be with her, and not just for some laughs and belly bumping. For so much more than that. Now that he knows Tommy would be part of the equation, he realizes he has to be willing to accept that. Beth and Tommy are a package deal.

Should he say that? But then what if he fucks up later down the line? Shit, a man can't mess with a woman who has a child unless he thinks he can take on that responsibility. Can he? Shit, the little fella seems like a good boy and all, but after all these years can Merle change? Does he want that in his life?

He's honest, "Shit Beth. Ya caught me by surprise tonight. It all started as soon as I pulled in the parkin' lot of the club. What I had planned was to just flat out ask you for the truth about why you didn't wanna give me a chance. I couldn't help thinkin' ya had some interest in me, but for some reason you kept saying no and I wanted to know why."

"The first thing I had ta do was pull that son of a…that no-good bartender offa ya. When your car wouldn't start, well, I won't deny it. I was pretty happy about that. I's gonna get ta drive ya home. Then boom, you hit me with a hard right to the gut. I was…well I ain't sure what I was. Scared I guess and I ain't used ta bein' scared. I didn't do right. We shoulda talked about it right then, when you invited me in. I was a chickenshit to run."

"But Beth, I knew. I knew I couldn't stay gone and I know now if I wanna be with ya I gotta step up ta the plate for you and Tommy both. I wanna do that. I promise ya I wouldn't be in this with you for a quick roll and some laughs. If that's all I wanted I'd walk away right now." He admits "I'd like ta think that maybe I could be the one, the man you're lookin' for."

Did he just fuckin' say that? Even he didn't see it coming. But shit, it's true. It's how he feels and now he's admitted it to himself and to her.

His words leave her stunned. In their way the things he just said were poetry, and she was sure the words came from his heart. None of his story was easy to hear, she doesn't like the idea of his emotionless escapades with so many other women. But she asked him for the truth and he told her. And none of it was nearly as bad as the things the bartender told her about him.

The question now is, will he accept her story? Then what? Will he be able to accept the kind of responsibility having a small child is? Will he be alright with the fact she can't go out to dinner or clubs anytime he'd like to go?

What about the sleepless nights with a sick child? What about when he walks in a store with Tommy and the toddler begins to throw a tantrum? What about when he refuses to eat? What about all those things?

Now's a good time to question him about that, and she does. He shrugs and responds, "I do know sumthin' about being around little kids. I was already 10 years old when Daryl was born. Around our house, well if the old man was there no one cried or acted up. You'd get the backhand and a whole lot worse. But there were plenty of times the old man wasn't around and Daryl would act up. I was pretty much a hellraiser myself. I don't think Tommy's gonna be much of a match for either of us. If he is, I guess I'ma have ta learn how ta deal with that. I won't ever strike him though, I promise ya that. I know it don't make good people, it just makes hate."

It's gotten a little dark, but then he laughs, "Well what do regular folks with kids do when they wanna go out? I got no idea about real family life."

She giggles softly and admits, "Well I don't either. Growing up I don't recall my folks ever going out anywhere. The only place Tommy and I ever go is the grocery store, the park and once every couple of weeks we have an ice cream out. Like I said, we're kind of boring."

"Oh I dunno about that Beth and I can think of a lotta things we could do. Let's see, we could go out on the lake, I got a little boat. We could go campin'." Then he belly laughs and says, "Or we could go ta the drive in movie and when Tommy falls asleep you n me could make out like a couple a teenagers."

She's turned a nice shade of candy apple red and he apologizes, "Sorry. It sounded kinda fun ta me though." And he can't help laughing again.

Then she catches him completely by surprise when she softly responds, "Yes, I guess we could." Her words are magic to his ears.

Now though, the time has come and he's got to know, "What about Tommy, Beth? I'd like ya ta tell me about that."

She wishes it was a better story. A story that didn't make her seem like such a fool. There's no drama to it, not really, and no excitement. It's all about her gullibility and foolishness, and someone else's meanness. In some ways it will be a relief to just admit to all of that.

Her forehead is wrinkled and he feels her shiver. He knows it's not the cold and he says, "Ya know what, never mind. It ain't my business and it ain't important. As long as ya ain't married, in love or still seein' the guy, then I don't care."

Not telling him would certainly be the easy way out, but it's not even tempting. He's just told her everything, good, bad and some things that are a little of both. It's her turn to get honest and her turn to take a deep breath, and then she begins, "I guess if we're going back in time, it all started the summer after I graduated from high school. That's when my folks passed."

He softly squeezes her hand because he can see the memory hurts her. She gives him a little smile to show him she appreciates him, then continues, "My brother came home on emergency leave and he and my sister went through all of Daddy's accounting books and papers with the lawyer. Shawn always planned to take over the farm someday and he was going to try to get a loan to buy out mine and Maggie's shares."

"Maggie and me didn't object, neither of us wanted to run it. She was already living in Michigan and I was thinking I'd use my share of the money to rent a cute little place and maybe go to trade school or something." She stops, bites her lip and tells the real truth, "I was 18, I thought I'd probably be getting married soon and the money would be a nice little nest egg."

He nods, it makes sense. A farm girl fresh out of high school, marriage is the next step, "Did ya have a pretty serious boyfriend?"

She giggles and it feels good to release some of the tension, "No. I had a boyfriend in high school but we broke up early in our senior year. It was never that serious and I think we just got tired of trying to pretend it was something it wasn't."

"So anyway, we found out the farm wasn't worth a gosh darn thing. Daddy and Mama had taken out a big note on the place and Daddy was way behind in the payments. Anyway, it got sold at auction. The bank was kind enough to let us sell off two pieces of paid off farm equipment, they could have taken everything. Anyway, it was old and not worth much. After everything was said and done we each got a small check and that was that."

"Maggie went home to Michigan and Shawn made a decision to stay in the military until he could retire. I moved in with a friend of mine, she still lived at home with her folks, but they had a guest room and needed some extra income. I went to night school twice a week and studied bookkeeping, and I got a job at the drug store. I paid $10.00 a week for room and board and I was getting by."

He sees her expression change to one of fear or dread and he reassures, "Beth, c'mon now. Ya really think I'ma look down on ya? You heard my story." Why is he putting her through this, "Ya know what, c'mon, let's just forget it."

"No, no I'm not going to forget it Merle. You told me your story and I owe you mine."

"You don't owe me nuthin'."

"I do and I don't want us to have secrets. If we're…if we ever…it's better if you know."

"Alright, then. It's up to you."

"Well I appreciate that because I almost never feel like there's anything that's up to me." She can't help smiling, but it's true. He draws her a little closer and the warmth of him holding her makes it a little easier to talk, "So one day this guy comes in the store. I sort of remembered him from high school but he was a senior when I was just a freshman. Anyway, he walks right up to the counter and says, 'You're Beth Greene, I remember you.'"

"So he sits at the counter and orders a sandwich and starts talking to me about this and that from school, all the different people and what they were up to now. That kind of stuff. He seemed nice enough and one thing lead to another and we started to date. It was pretty fun and I liked him okay, but not enough to...well you know. Honestly, I guess I was just dating him to fill up my time."

"One night he drove up to the lake and he started kissing me and that was alright, but then he wanted more and I said "No." I told him I wanted to go home." He feels her trembling now and he wants to stop her because he already knows how these kinds of stories end, but the words spill out of her, "He said he'd take me home as soon as I gave him what he wanted."

She shakes her head nervously and adds, "I'm not going to tell you everything that happened next, I just can't say those things Merle. Anyway, I think you know." He doesn't say anything, but he gently squeezes her shoulder and that helps her. She goes on, "Afterward he took me home and I never did hear from him again. He'd gotten what he wanted."

She scoffs, "I didn't mind he didn't call, I never wanted to see him again, ever. But then I didn't have…you know, my monthly and when I missed it a second time I knew. I went to a doctor and he told me for sure."

"I went to the apartment building where I knew this guy lived and he was just getting in his car. I told him I was pregnant and he said, 'I hope you know who the father is because I'll deny ever having anything to do with you. Besides, I'm on my way out of town. I got a job over in Galveston.' That was that. I knew I was on my own."

"When my clothes started getting too tight I had to tell the family I lived with. They weren't happy with me at all. Thank God though, they weren't mean to me and they said they'd let me stay until after the baby was born, but then I'd have to find a place. That's what I did."

"That little bit of money I had from the farm equipment sale paid for the doctor and the hospital. It's also how I was able to get this place and it held me and Tommy over until I got my job at Cattle Rustlers."

She's crying just a little and he says, "It stinks and I'm sorry. I'm not tryin' ta be cold, I know ya been hurt and you were wronged, you and Tommy both, but what happened, if a man would leave ya like that and be such an asshole about it when he did, you n Tommy both are well rid of him. That's no man."

He crooks a finger under her chin and tilts her face up so she's looking at him, "I don't have any bad thoughts about you, I know you're a sweet gal. Life ain't always fair though, is it?"

He holds her and they talk more and when she falls asleep he nudges her awake, and says, "Ya best get ta bed now girl, and I best get on home. I'll see ya tomorrow and we'll get that car running."

They stand, he slips his coat on and they walk to the door. When he opens it the blast of cold wind startles them both. The porch light shows it's still snowing. The ground is covered and the walkway is icy.

She reaches around him and shuts the door, "Merle, you can't go out in this. It's just terrible out there. Wait until daylight. I can get you a pillow and blanket and you can sleep on the couch."

He doesn't mention the couch is about two feet too short for him to sleep on, he just answers, "Yeah, okay. In the morning when I leave, I'll go right over and get little brother and we'll get your car fixed up."

He ends up sleeping on the floor, it's a better option than the couch. Although it's not the worst place he's ever slept, it damn sure isn't the best. He wakes at six to freezing cold air and the sounds of her trying to sooth a whimpering toddler. He jumps up and doesn't think first, he goes in the bedroom. There's a candle burning on the dresser and he can see she's holding the child. She's got the bed quilt wrapped around him and she pacing back and forth trying to comfort him.

She looks at Merle and says, "I'm sorry if we woke you. It's just so cold and the heat won't work, the power's out."

As cold as it is and as rough as the situation is, he can't help but think how good she looks in the morning. Her hair's loose and all a mess, and her sleepy blue eyes are drawing him in. Even her big fuzzy housecoat makes her look pretty delicious.

His survival instincts kick in immediately, he has a plan, "Alright, well it's too cold ta stay here. I'ma go out and make sure I can get the truck started and make sure I can get it outta the parkin' spot. You just worry about tryin' ta keep you and the baby warm."

"Where are we going to go?"

"My place. If the power's out there we'll still be okay. I got a fireplace that puts out some pretty good heat, and I got a generator that will get us some lights and play the radio. We can keep up on what's going on with the weather and the power."

"Um, okay, if you're sure."

"I'm sure we got no choice. I ain't havin' the two of ya freeze."

He plans to get the truck warming while she gets her and Tommy's things together. He's just put his coat on and is at the door when there's a knock. He opens it and a man is standing there. He looks at Merle, then at Beth and the baby, and says, "Just like I thought. Ya let some unwed mother rent from ya and they start havin' men over every night. That's how ya got yourself in this mess in the first place, girlie."

Merle's so angry he's ready to kill the guy. First he warns, "Don't be talkin' ta her that way or I'll drop ya where ya stand. Just who the fuck are you?"

"I'm the fucking landlord that's who. I come ta tell Miz Greene the power company said they got no idea when the power will be back, could be as long as a week. It don't matter now though, cuz girlie, you gotta go. You consider yourself evicted. Ye outta here by noon."

Beth starts to protest, "But…"

Merle's not thinking about the long-term, he's pissed now. He wants to hurt this son of a bitch so bad. But he also wants to take care of Beth and Tommy, "Yeah, well this is the first week of the month so how bout you fork over the rent she already paid ya. Then we're gone."

"I don't have to give that back."

"You have to if you don't wanna get your ass kicked."

An hour and a half later the few things Beth owns are in Merle's truck, including Tommy's crib and high chair. The balance of her December rent is in her handbag, and Tommy's wrapped in a blanket and on her lap. They're silent as Merle makes the slow and treacherous drive to his place.

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A/N As they say, things escalated quickly. Now what? Please leave a comment. The chapter photo is on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick - have a look. I hope to see you all back next Saturday for more of Let Me Help. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee