Chapter Five
This chapter continues right where chapter four left off. Warning: Chapter contains attempted suicide,
Mercy Hospital
Moments later, the nurse rushes back into Janes' room with an oxygen machine. Sara meets the nurse at the door and takes over from the other nurse because she knows that Jane is already terrified and doesn't want to scare her anymore by adding another person to the room.
"I can take it from here," Sara says to the other nurse. The nurse gives Sara a confused look, and then she looks over Dr. Litmans' shoulder, sees the terrified little girl, and gives Sara a look of understanding. "Ok. Let me know if you need anything else," the nurse says to Sara as she exits the room.
Sara turns around to bring the machine over to the little girl as fast as she can and sees the terror written all over her face. Jane is horrified; she has no idea what Sara is about to do to her. She wants so badly to scream but cannot because she struggles just to get oxygen into her tiny body. Janes' last-ditch effort is to run, but she knows she cannot make it out of the room because Olivia is still in there, and between Olivia and Sara, one of them will catch her, stopping her escape.
Jane Doe gets off the bed and runs to a corner of the room with the adrenaline coursing through her little body. Sara makes it to the bed just as Jane runs to the corner, and Sara goes after her bringing the machine but still keeping a distance between her and Jane, so she won't scare her anymore.
Jane looks at Sara, her entire body trembling, and the fear is evident to Sara and Liv. Liv walks a little closer to Jane Doe but still gives Jane some distance. Jane begins to feel cornered, like the walls are caving in on her and her attention going between Sara and Liv, finally settling her attention on Liv because Jane has always believed that police officers were kind. Jane had met a Police Officer before, and she was very kind to her, but Jane had never met a doctor and didn't believe that she could trust a doctor.
Jane looked at Sara, her body still trembling, and then moved closer to Liv, almost like she was asking Olivia to protect her. Being a detective for so long, Liv found it easy to read people, and she immediately picked up on the shift in Jane. She could tell that Jane trusted her. All Liv wanted to do was help this little girl, and with the small amount of trust Jane now showed Liv, she would finally be able to help her. Liv looked up at Sara, "Sara, can you translate for me?" Liv asked.
"Yes, but you should know that we need to get this oxygen to her soon before something bad happens," Sara told Liv, and Liv gave her a look of understanding. So Liv talked directly to Jane Doe, and Sara translated what she was saying so the child could understand.
"Sweetheart, I know that you are scared. I cannot even begin to imagine what you have been through, but no one here is going to hurt you." Liv told her. Once Sara had finished signing this to Jane, with silent tears streaming down her face still struggling to breathe, Jane looked at Liv, who was knelt beside her. Liv wanted so badly to just wrap this small, fragile little girl in her arms and take away her pain, but Liv knew she had to hold back that if she made physical contact with Jane before she was ready, Jane could shut down completely.
Janes' little body was still trembling, but Liv noticed the little girl slightly shaking her head no. Liv knew that Jane was scared and she didn't want Sara near her with the machine. Liv looked at Jane, her heartbreaking, and continued talking while Sara translated. When Livs' mouth began to move, Jane looked at Sara for the translation to understand what Liv was saying.
"Can we maybe get you back on the bed and talk? You might be more comfortable on the bed," stated Olivia. Jane looked at Benson for a moment, pondering her answer, and then slightly shook her head yes. Liv watched as Jane shakily got up and walked over to the bed and sat down, and Liv took a seat in the chair next to her bed. Sara followed them, bringing the machine a bit closer but not too close to freak Jane out again.
"You are such a brave and strong little girl," Liv said with a smile on her face. Jane looked over at Liv when she understood what Liv said. Liv didn't know if she had imagined it, but she could have sworn she saw a tiny smile form on Janes' face.
"I have something that I want you to hold onto for me for a little bit," Liv said to Jane. Jane saw Saras' translation and looked at Olivia very confused, 'what could she possibly want me to hold onto' Jane thought.
Liv pulled her badge out of her pocket and held it out for Jane, "This is my badge, and it means that I help and protect people; I would like for you to hold on to it," said Liv. Jane reached for Bensons' badge and grasped it with her shaky hand. Jane was in awe of the badge because it looked so bright and shiny, she ran her thumb over the lettering.
"Sweetheart, I promise that I am going to protect you and keep you safe. I am not going to let anyone hurt you ever again," Liv said to the child with a look of compassion and determination on her face. More silent tears began to stream down Janes' face, and for the first time in a long time, she felt cared for and safe with Olivia. Olivia handed Jane a tissue so she could wipe her tears away.
Janes' breathing had gotten worse, and Benson noticed this. Since Jane had calmed down a little, Liv decided to try again.
"Honey, I want to help. I know that it is getting harder and harder for you to breathe. I know that the machine over there looks scary…" Liv pointed at the machine, and once Jane knew what she was saying, she moved her gaze to the machine, then back to Liv. Once she saw Livs' lips moved, she looked at Sara for translation. "That machine is going to help you get oxygen so you can breathe. I promise you Sara is not trying to hurt you. She only wants to help, just like I do. Can you… maybe let Sara hook you up to the machine so you can breathe?" Liv asked, hoping Jane would agree because the child's breathing was only getting worse.
Jane Doe looked at Liv for a moment and then looked at Sara, "yes," signed Jane very timidly. Both Sara and Liv let out a breath that they didn't even realize they were holding in. When Sara walked over to get the machine, Jane did something unexpected; she held the badge Liv gave her in her left hand, and with her right hand, she reached for Livs hand. Liv was more than happy to hold her hand, and that was the first time that Liv realized just how tiny the little girl was. Sara brought the machine closer to Jane and explained what Sara was doing before she did it. It took Sara about a minute to finish hooking Jane up to the oxygen, and eventually, Jane was breathing better.
Jane sat on her bed for a moment; eventually, Jane pulled her hand back from Liv. Jane then looked at Sara, "yes, pink is my favorite color." Jane timidly signed to Sara. Sara and Liv looked confused for a moment, and then they remembered the question that Sara asked earlier, and both women gave her a smile.
"Pink is a very pretty color," signed and said, Sara. Sara took the opportunity to ask Jane Doe another question. "If the hearing aids help you hear, then why are you not wearing them?" Sara signed and asked the little girl. Jane looked over at her hearing aids, "They are dead," Jane timidly signed in response. Sara smiled and let Liv and the girl know that she would be back in a few minutes.
Sara left the room and called her younger sister Maddie because she knew her sister had exactly what she needed.
"Hey Mads, I know it is 7:30 in the morning, and I hope I am not waking you up but are you busy right now," Sara asked her sister over the phone.
"Sara, I am always awake early Adelaide makes sure of that," Maddie said with a small chuckle. Sara knew that Maddie was referring to her three-and-a-half-year-old daughter that always woke up with the sun and made sure her mommy was up to it. "Ad and I just finished breakfast, so I am not busy at all. What's going on?" Maddie asked Sara.
"Well... I was hoping... that you would be… willing to bring the charging case to your hearing aids. I have a Jane Doe child that is deaf and has hearing aids the same make and model as your and hers are dead. We have no idea who she is or who her parents are, and she has hardly communicated. I was hoping that if we could charge her hearing aids and she could hear again, she might feel safer and communicate with us." Sara explained to her sister.
"Of course. However, you will have to barrow Addy because her charging case fits child-sized hearing aids, and mine doesn't, but I don't think Adelaide will have any problem sharing," Maddie said, smiling over at her daughter. "Ad and I will be there in about ten minutes," Maddie told her sister and then hung up, getting her shoes and Adelaides' shoes on.
Sara smiled as she got off the phone with her sister because she knew that her sister would be willing to help. After all, she was so kind-hearted, and so was her niece. Maddie arrived at Mercy hospital ten minutes later, holding Adelaides' hand. When she spotted Sara, she walked over and gave her sister a big hug. Smiling, Sara bent down and gave Ad a big hug.
"I bwought tis for you," Ad said to Sara, holding up her charging case for her hearing aids. Sara looked down at Adelaide with a smile and had an idea. Sara stood back up, facing Mads, "Mads would it be ok with you if Ad were to give the charging case to the little girl? I think that Jane would love to see a child since she has been surrounded by so many adults," Sara asked her sister. "That's ok with me. What do you think, Adelaide, would you like to give the little girl the charger case." Maddie asked, looking down at her daughter. Addy looked up at her mom with a smiling saying that she would love to.
Sara walked Maddie and Adelaide over to Janes' room, and Sara walked in first. Jane looked at Sara and Maddie in confusion; Liv also looked over to see what was going on. "This is my sister Maddie and her daughter Adelaide," Sara signed to Jane and said so Liv could understand. Adelaide had stepped out from behind Maddie and could finally be seen by the others in the room.
"I brought you this," Addy signed and held up the charger case so Jane could see it. "Is it ok if I bring it to you?" Addy signed asking since her mom told her that Jane was scared.
Jane looked over at Addy and smiled for the first time, albeit small, but it was still a smile. "Yes, you can," Jane signed to Addy. So Addy walked over and handed Jane the case, and Jane gratefully took it. "Thank You," Jane signed to Addy and then to her mom and Sara. Sara, Maddie, and Addie left the room, and Jane put her hearing aids in the case to charge. Once they exited the room, Sara told Maddie that she would bring the case back later tonight when she got off work, and with that, Maddie and Addy left the hospital and headed home.
At Amandas' home
Amanda regained consciousness and was in a lot of pain. She had a bit more strength, and she pulled at the restraints again, and eventually, she was able to get her hands free. She then removed the gag from her mouth and realized her head hurt. She put her hand on her head where the pain was coming from; she felt something wet. She brought her hand in front of her and saw the blood on her hand. Oh, great' thought Amanda.
Amanda looked down; seeing that she had no clothes on, she walked over to her dresser and put on a bra and panties before walking to the bathroom in her bedroom. Amanda looked at herself in the mirror, and she had to admit she looked like crap and was in a ton of pain from what Patton had done to her. She grabbed the bottle of alcohol sitting on the sink counter that was left there from her last drinking binge and began to drink. 'Why me?' Amanda thought. She began crying as she remembered what Chief Patton had done to her in Georgia and last night. Amanda began pacing in the bathroom with the bottle in her hand as a war went on inside of her head.
'I cannot take this anymore. I am not strong enough. I just cannot keep fighting. I am too tired.' thought Amanda. 'What are you saying? You cannot do that to your team, and what about your girls,' the other part of Amanda thought. 'No, I have to do this. It's the only way to keep them safe. Charles will never stop,' thought Amanda as she thought back to early this morning and what Patton said before he left.
Flashback
"Sweet Georgia Peach, as much as I enjoyed our time together. I have to leave, but don't you ever forget that you are mine and there is nothing you can do to stop me. You know...maybe I will pay a visit to that daughter of mine and little Jesse." Patton said with an evil smile on his face. "Now that I think about it, I don't have time this time, but I will definitely pay them a visit next time because they are just so sweet. You know how much I love sweet things, Georgia Peach," Patton said as he left.
End of Flashback
"Amanda, you have to do this; you have to kill yourself. It is the only way to keep your girls safe. You don't have a choice; if He comes back, he will hurt them just to cause you more pain," Amanda said to herself as tears rolled down her face.
Amanda walked over to the mirror, opened her medicine cabinet, and pulled out a bottle of pills. 'Your girls will be ok; someone will take both Ariana Roselyn and Jesse in care for them and love them,' Amanda thought to herself. She opened the bottle of pills and closed her eyes one last time, thinking about her two beautiful little girls, then opened her eyes and dumped a handful of pills in her hand, placing them in her mouth, swallowing them with the alcohol in her hands.
Amanda's last thoughts as she collapsed on her bathroom floor before her world went black was of her girls, Ella, who had always been like a sister to her, her squad who became her family, Carisi, a man she had feelings for but didn't know how to admit it to herself with all she had been through in life.
Meanwhile, at Mercy Hospital
Janes' hearing aids had finished charging, and she put them back in and was able to hear again. With her hearing aids back in and seeing as the girl seemed to be in a bit better, Liv and Sara decided to try talking to her again. So Liv talked, and Sara translated for her.
"Hey, Sweetheart, could you tell me what your name is? I bet you have a beautiful name," Liv asked Jane.
Jane looked at Liv and thought about it for a few minutes. "My name… is A..Ari," Ari timidly signed. Sara told Liv that she said her name was Ari. Liv looked at Ari, "Is Ari short for anything?" Liv asked.
Ari knew what Liv was asking, so she slightly shook her head yes. "My name is Ari…" Ari took a deep breath, "Ariana," Ari signed.
"Ari, can you tell me how old you are?" Liv asked. Ari looked down at her lap, "I am six," Ari answered, not looking up from her lap.
"Well, it's nice to officially meet you, Ari. I am going to step outside and call some of my friends that I work with," Liv said with a smile and then stepped out of the room to call Carisi.
Carisi answered his phone after the first ring, and Fin was standing next to him. "What's going on Liv, do you have anything new because we have not been able to find anything about who Jane Doe is," Carisi asked Liv.
"Well, I have an age and a first name but no last name. I didn't want to push about her family because of her reaction the last time it was brought up," Liv answered.
"That is great," Fin said with enthusiasm since they now had a place to start their investigation.
"What is her name and age, Cap. We can then search the missing person database better." Carisi said.
"Her name is Ariana, and she is six years old, but hold off on missing persons. I want you to first check foster care and see if you get a match there first and if you have to get a warrant," said Liv.
"Any reason, in particular, Cap?" asked Fin.
"No, just a hunch that she is a foster kid," Liv answered him.
Benson went back into the room to talk with Ari some more, hoping that she could get more information or agree to do an examination. When Olivia went back in, she saw Ari spaced out, staring at the wall. Liv couldn't imagine what was going on in that little girls' mind.
"Ari, do you think that maybe you could let a doctor examine you to make sure you are ok," Liv asked Ari, hoping she would say yes.
Ari began panicking, "No, no one else," Ari signs. Liv is confused for a moment by what Ari is talking about, and then she realizes that Ari is scared they will bring someone else into the room.
"Ari, look at me," Liv says to Ari; after a moment, Ari does look at Liv. "I promise no one else has to be in here. Dr. Sara can do the exam, and I can stay with you if you want. So do you think you can let Dr. Sara check you out?" Liv asked Ariana.
Ari thinks about it for a couple of minutes and hesitates but eventually nods her head yes. So Sara gets up to leave and get a rape kit dreading that the results will just confirm what she and Benson already suspect. "I will be right back," Sara says to Ari and then nods her head at Oliva before exiting the room.
Amanda's home
Ella was on her way over to Amandas' house to drop off Jesse because Amanda was doing better and wanted to spend time with her daughter. Amanda had been feeling more like herself; she had thought that things were getting better for her until they weren't. Amanda had never really given much thought to who would find her.
Ella arrived at Amandas' house and was outside the door holding Jesse's hand and knocking on the door. When she didn't get an answer, she knocked again….and still no answer. Ella began getting really nervous; she tried again, "Manda, are you here?" She still did not get an answer, so she tried calling Amandas' cell phone, and she could hear it ring on the other side of the door. Ella began to get this awful feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was seriously wrong, and she could not fight that feeling.
"Jesse, sweetheart, I want you to stay right here. I will be right back," Ella said, letting go of Jesses' hand. Ella then went over to a potted plant sitting on the left side of the house in front of the porch and got the spare key that Amanda kept hidden in case of an emergency. Once she had gotten the key, she unlocked the door; she grabbed Jesses' hand and entered the house.
The first thing Ella noticed was the living room, 'w-what... in the world happened here,' Ella thought when she saw that it looked like someone had destroyed the living room. Ella saw the blood on the floor, and that her stomach sank even lower, she was so afraid of what she would find. She let go of Jesses' hand and told her to wait by the front door and not to move.
Jesse did as she was told and waited by the front door, not moving, while Ella went and checked out the rest of the house. The first place she checked was the main bathroom because that was the next closest room to her when she saw that Amanda was not there and moved on to Amandas' bedroom.
Ellas noticed that Mandas' bedroom door was partially opened, so she pushed it open the rest of the way; her heart dropped when she saw the sight in front of her. She saw that the bed that Amanda neatly made every morning was a complete disaster. The blanket that was usually on the bed had been thrown off to the right side of the bed, the sheets on the bed had blood on them, and Ella saw ropes tied to the headboard. Yet she did not see Amanda, and this deeply concerned her. She walked towards the bathroom in Mandas' room, hoping that she would find her sister, best friend, safe in there. Little did she know that was definitely not that sight that would greet her.
"Ahhhh... A-A-Aman-Amanda… oh, God, what have you done," Ella screamed out loud when she saw her lying on the floor. Ella quickly processed what had happened in the bathroom and why Amanda was unconscious on the floor, she saw the bottle of pills not far from Amandas' hand and saw the shared bottle of alcohol, and she knew what Amanda had done.
Ella immediately picked up her phone and called 911.
"911, what's your emergency?" asked the operator at the other end.
"My f-f-fr-friend tried to k-k-k-kill herself," answered Ella through sobs, her voice shaking."
"What is the address?" the operator asked.
"203 W Hillside Avenue," Ella said, her voice still shaking and still in tears.
"I need you to tell me exactly what happened," the operator said as she dispatched an ambulance and police to the address.
"I-I don't k-know. I came over, and she didn't answer the door or her phone, so I let myself in. I saw the mess in her living room and went looking for her. Her bedroom door was partially opened, so I opened it the rest of the way. Her bedroom was a mess, but I didn't see her, so I went to check her bathroom. That's where I found her unconscious on the floor; there is a pill bottle next to her and what looks like shattered glass from a bottle of alcohol surrounding her." Ella said, talking fast from fear but knowing that the information was important to save her sister.
"I need you to check and see if she still has a pulse," the dispatcher told her.
"She does, but it is very weak," said Ella crying.
"I need you to do CPR. The EMTs are five minutes out," the dispatcher told her.
Meanwhile, when Jesse heard her Auntie Ella screaming her mom's name Jesse slowly made her way to her mommy's bedroom, where the screams had come from. Jesse made it to her room as Ella started CPR; at first, Jesse could hear someone on the phone and just barely saw Ella. As Jesse got closer, she saw her mommy on the floor and Ella pushing on her mommys' chest.
"M-m-mommy," cried Jesse.
Ella heard Jesses' cries, and it broke her heart. "Jesse, sweetheart, mommy is just sleeping. Everything is going to be ok." Ella said, trying her best to reassure the little girl she loved trembling. "Jesse, I need you to go to your room and wait for me to come to get you. The little girl obeyed and went to her room and sat on her bed, clinging her blankie and to a teddy bear her mommy gave her as tears filled her eyes.
Ella continued CPR until the Emt's got there and took over. "Please, she is a detective. You have to help her." Ella told the EMTs as they began working on Amanda. The EMTs did everything they could to stabilize her and put an oxygen mask on her once they saw that she had a heartbeat. The EMTs began taking Rollins out on a gurney. "I want to come with you," Ella told the EMTs, and they didn't have time to argue, and so they let her. Ella grabbed Jesse, who was still clinging to her blankie and teddy bear, and they got into the back of the ambulance. Once in Ellas' arms, Jesse passed out from all the crying she had done, which Ella thought was the best scenario possible since her mom flatlined three times before they even got to Mercy Hospital.
Mercy Hospital
The rape kit had been finished and sent for analysis. After the exam, Ari had fallen asleep from exhaustion. Fin and Carisi arrived at the hospital at 12 pm with some shocking news. When Carisi finally got ahold of Aris' birth certificate, what he had seen shocked him. He showed the certificate to Fin, and Fin had to have a second look to make sure he correctly saw it. When both of them saw the birth certificate, they decided to tell Liv in person.
Carisi and Fin arrived at Arianas' room and knocked. "Liv can we speak to you out here for a moment," asked Carisi in a whisper when he saw that Ari was asleep.
Liv agreed immediately; when she saw the look on his face, she grew concerned. When Liv stepped out of the room, she immediately asked the boys what was wrong. "Cap, I think you may want to sit down for this," Fin told Benson.
Liv took a seat, and now she demanded to know what they were holding out on her about. "You were right Ariana is a foster child. It took us some time and a court order, but we were able to get her records, and we found something rather surprising," Carisi told Liv.
"Well, what did you find?" asked Liv, growing even more concerned and a bit impatient.
"According to the birth certificate, her full name is Ariana Faithe… Rollins. Her mother is listed as Amanda Rollins," Carisi answered with a sad look on his face, and he felt hurt that Amanda had never told them about Ari. He couldn't understand why she kept it a secret.
"I don't understand. Why wouldn't she tell us? Why hide it? It's not like we would have judged her for giving a child up for adoption," Liv stated with a sad look.
"I don't know, Cap, but the birth certificate doesn't name the father that might have something to do with it," Fin added with a low sigh, still trying to digest the information himself.
Olivia got up off the chair she had been sitting in, and she looked at Ariana, who was sound asleep on her bed, through the window of her room. As Liv watched the sleeping child, a single tear rolled down her cheek. She couldn't understand why someone she cared so deeply about felt the need to hide the fact that she had a daughter. At that moment, Benson felt as if her heart broke in half because she loved Amanda, and right now, nothing made sense anymore, although the one thing that made perfect sense now was why Amanda had left as they were about to interview Ariana.
Keeping her eyes on a sleeping Ari through the window, Liv asked, "Does anyone know where Amanda is? I have not seen her since she left the hospital before we could interview Ari."
"Sorry Cap, I haven't seen or heard from her," answered Fin.
"I have no idea. I have been trying to get a hold of her since we found out about Ariana, but she hasn't answered," Carisi said to Liv with a look of hurt and worry in his eyes. "Liv, I am really worried about her," Carisis admitted to Liv.
"Me too… Me too," said Liv, barely above a whisper.
Suddenly, the hospital became very chaotic; there were a bunch of doctors and nurses scrambling to get to the trauma center. Olivia, Sonny, Fin all looked around in confusion at the scene unfolding before their eyes. "We have a 10-13 coming in. It's all hands on deck," said a doctor as he rushed to the trauma unit.
"Excuse me, NYPD, can you tell me what is going on?" Liv asked the nearest doctor as they were heading to the trauma unit. "I am sorry, I have no idea. All I know is we got a call to stand by that there was a 10-13 officer down and that it doesn't look good. I really have to get going now," the doctor hurriedly said to all of the detectives looking at him. Liv looked back at Ari through the window, who was still sound asleep, then she looked at her two detectives. They have a silent moment and all nod in agreement that they are going to check on the officer down.
Before they knew what was happening, their feet just took over, and Liv, Carisi, and Fin were on their way to the trauma center. They were definitely not prepared for what happened next. Before they even got to the trauma center, they ran into Ella and Jesse. When Liv and the detectives saw them, a part of them knew who the officer down was, Amanda Rollins, because you could see it written in the expression on Ellas' face. It felt like their world had stopped even face to face with Ella and Jesse; they still couldn't believe it. Liv and the detectives ran to the trauma center with more determination now; they had to see for themselves.
They made it to the trauma center, and the sight they were greeted with caused them all to stop in their tracks. Amanda looked like she was at death's doorstep, and there was nothing they could do to help her. All they could do was hope that the doctors could save her. They only processed some of what the doctors and nurses were saying because they were in shock, and some of the voices sounded like they were underwater.
"What do we have here?" a doctor asked the paramedics.
"Amanda Rollins, thirty-two years old, looks like she may have been sexually assaulted, and she was found with a bottle of pills. It looks like a suicide attempt; we have no idea how many pills she took, and she flatlined twice on the way here," the female paramedic explained to the doctors that were working on Amanda.
At this point, the doctors had Amanda hooked up to a heart monitor. They were working fast to save her because the doctors knew they were minutes away from losing her. The doctors had pumped her stomach from her attempted overdose. They then began to examine her other injuries. She was battered and bruised, covered in bruises, lacerations, and ligature marks. The heart monitors went off because Amandas' heart rate fell. They were losing her; the doctors knew they had to get her up to the OR and operate now if they wanted to save her.
"What's wrong with her? Is she going to be ok?" Liv asked as one of the doctors passes to head to the OR with Amanda.
"It doesn't look good for her. I need to get to the OR, you all can wait in the waiting room, and I will give you guys an update as soon as we have one," the doctor said to Liv, looking between her, Carisi, and Fin.
Liv, Carisi, and Fin made their way to the waiting room, where they saw Ella and Jesse. Ella was sitting in a chair, and Jesse was half asleep in the chair next to her, clinging to her blankie and teddy bear. Carisi felt his heartbreak the minute he saw three-year-old little Jesse. He felt so bad for the little girl, and he couldn't understand why Rollins would do something like that.
Carisi was the first to find his voice, "Ella, what happened?" he asked hoping for some answers. Ella tried to steady her breathing and wiped the tears that were streaming down her face. She opened her mouth to answer, but no words came out, so she took a deep breath. "I… I don't k-know," Ella finally got out, looking down at the ground, unable to meet anyone's eyes. Fin, finally finding his voice, went over to Jesse, who was clinging to her blankie and bear as if they were her lifeline. Tears were falling down Jesses' face, and Fin could see the exhaustion in her eyes. "Hey Jesse, are you hungry," Fin asked, and Jesse just looked at him. "You want to go to the cafeteria and get something to eat?" asked Fin; Jesse just shook her head yes. Fin walked over to the little girl and picked her up in his arms, and carried her to the cafeteria to get something to eat, leaving Ella, Liv, and Carisi to talk.
Carisi and Liv took a seat next to Ella, waiting on Ella to tell them what happened. Ella knew they were waiting on her to continue. "I really don't know much about what happened," Ella told them. "That's ok. Just tell us what you do know," answered Liv. Ella closed her eyes and took a deep breath to relax before she told them everything she knew.
"Well, Amanda had called me about four days ago and said that she was feeling like herself again and wanted to spend time with Jesse. She was so happy when we talked. I thought that maybe she had finally conquered whatever demons she has been battling." Ella looked over at Liv and Carisi; finally meeting their eyes, she could sense the question they were able to ask. "Before you ask, no, I have no idea what demons she has been dealing with. She never told me even though we have known each other since we were in elementary school and are as close as sisters. Manda has always been so fiercely independent, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders; she has never been one to share her problems or ask for help. However, she is always the first person to offer help to others. Not even I know her full story." Ella told them.
"Anyway, she told me to bring Jesse over today at noon, but something came up at work, so I went by at 10 am to drop off Jesse. I knocked on the door but got no answer, I tried knocking again and calling out to her, and I began to get nervous because her car was there. I called her phone; I didn't get an answer on the phone but heard the ringing on the other side of the door. I was scared and had a bad feeling, so I told Jesse to wait on the porch for me and went and got her spare key. Once I opened the door, Jesse and I walked in. When we entered, I saw the living room was a mess and told Jesse to stay right by the front door and not to move. I saw blood on the floor in the living room, and it was destroyed. I swear it looked like a tornado went through the room. I began looking for Amanda, and I eventually made my way to her room. I saw blood on her bedsheets and ropes tied to the headboard but no Amanda, so I checked the bathroom in her room and found her unconscious on the floor and noticed the bottle of pills and shattered alcohol bottle on the floor n..next t..to h..her." Ella said and just began sobbing, unable to control herself anymore.
Fin walked back into the waiting room at that moment with a sleeping Jesse in his arms, and Carisi got up and offered to take Jesse from him, Fin placed the sleeping child in his arms, and both went to take a seat. They all sat there in the waiting room, not saying anything. Liv left every once in a while to check on Ari, then would go back to the waiting room to sit with her squad, waiting on news about Rollins.
About two hours later, a doctor entered the waiting room, "Amanda Rollins," he said, and everyone stood up. Carisi, Fin, and Liv looked at the doctor's face, and they knew that whatever he had to say was not good. Carisi told Ella to take Jesse, who was still asleep, in his hands, so Ella took Jesse. The doctor looked at Liv, "Captain Benson, can I speak to you in private?" asked the doctor. Liv looked back at her other two detectives, and they just gave her a nod telling her 'go,' so Liv stepped out into the hallway with the doctor.
"How is Amanda?" asked Liv with concern in her voice. The doctor took a breath before telling her, "She had lost a lot of blood before arriving here. Aside from the deep laceration on her scalp, she had internal bleeding, we were able to get it under control; however… Amanda is now on life support," he told Olivia. A single tear rolled down her face when she asked, "Is she going to make it?" The doctor took a deep breath then said, "We don't know. Only time will tell."
There was still one burning question on Benson's mind since hearing what Ella told them. She took a deep breath before asking that burning question, unsure if she was ready for the answer, "Was she raped?" Liv asked quietly.
"The marks on her wrists suggest she was restrained and the bruising on her thighs are consistent with what we would see from a sexual assault. We have not done a rape kit. Once she is settled in a room, one of the female nurses will perform one. I will let you know when you guys can see her." said the doctor.
"Thanks," Liv said, then walked back into the waiting room and filled in everyone on Rollins' condition. "Fin, I want you and Kat to go to Rollins' place and begin the investigation," Liv told Fin. With that, Fin called Kat and told her to meet him at Rollins' home, and he left.