Chapter Five: Deja-Vu
A/N: Okay, I decided that I'm just going to move the rating to an "M" after this chapter. I already almost finished the next chapter and while there's one scene I'll have to take out, it's no worse than other M-Rated sex fics on this site, and it's still full of heart and humor. That said, it is the raunchiest thing I've written.
This decision was made mainly because it seems to take a long time to join the other website, and I'm trying to wrap this story up quickly as I'm going back to work soon and it might take me longer to write up chapters as I'll have a lot less free time.
On the plus side, this will allow me some more freedom for other gross/dirty jokes later on in the story.
Meanwhile….
Nick had made it to the Palm Hotel. He watched as people ran around in fear. "Run for your lives!" They shouted. "It's a gender-reveal party!"
Nick looked over as the rest of the ZPD were trying to contain the pink demon. It was a one-eyed, one-horned pink people eater that was grabbing other mammals by its tentacles, and gobbling them down its maw. "It's a girl!" It said in a deep, frightening tone as it gobbled down a tiger. "It's a girl!"
Gun in tow, Nick ran over to Fangmeyer and Wolford who were hiding behind a concrete barrier. "I got the sidewalk chalk you wanted, Wolford," Nick said. "What are you planning?!"
"'Da stupid couple who summoned 'dis thing used a specific pentagram 'ta open a portal to our dimension. I work with our occult division sometimes and I know 'da right pentagram 'ta send him back. Only one problem."
"What's that?"
"It would send 'da people he swallowed with him. He's been swallowing 'dem whole. Most if not all might still be alive in his gut, but we gotta get 'dem out before I send 'dis thing back 'ta it's dimension! We need him 'ta barf up everyone before sendin' him back."
"An ipecac? I might have som-"
BRRRRRING! Nick's phone went off. He looked at the name. "Oh no! Not now! What is it, Dawn?! Make it quick, I'm VERY busy!"
Dawn was crying on the other end. "Duke won't talk to meeee! Th-Things were going s-so well, and I screwed it u-u-up! I-I said he w-was a credit to his people, b-but in doing so, I th-think insulted his people! I'm so terrible and I don't know what to dooo!"
"You can't judge him as a weasel, Dawn! He's a person!"
"I...I don't understand."
"Look, people are people. Not foxes, not sheep, not weasels, just people. Peoples is peoples."
"Why does that sound so familiar?"
"I ripped it off of 'Muppets take Manhattan'. Look, I really gotta go, so I'm gonna put someone on who knows what it's like to wrong a friend in this way. Hold on."
Nick got someone on the other line. "Carrots?"
"Yes?"
"Remember how I took a bullet in the arm for you and you said you owed me big-time?"
"Yeah?"
"Time to collect. Here's Dawn Bellwether on the other line."
"WHAT?!"
"Byeee!"
Nick attached Dawn to the line and hung up the phone. "That was bad timing. Wolford, I think I got something that might make the demon throw up!"
"What is it, Nick?" Wolford asked.
Nick fished a book out of his pocket. "1,0001 Bad Dad Jokes! It was my father's."
"Great. Even if we win, we lose."
Meanwhile…
Judy was on the phone with Dawn. "I can't believe I'm doing this! You tried to kill me!"
"I'm so sorry! Please, Judy! I need your help! I wronged Duke and I… I think I love him!"
"It's just infatuation, Bellwether! This is the first predator you've ever been nice too."
"That's not true! I had a few pred friends in jail! Speaking of, being in jail is supposed to be about rehabilitation! Or is it just punishment with you?!"
"... Fine! What did you say that ticked him off so much?"
"I told him he was a credit to his kind. That he wasn't like the other weasels."
"Hoo-Boy! Deja Vu. I had the same issue with Nick a while back. I was no angel either. I had my own prejudices that I didn't even know were there. And I was a lot less specist than you were at the time."
"What did you do to fix things?"
"I apologized. I was fully at fault and didn't pretend otherwise. I learned my lesson and begged for forgiveness. I took full responsibility for my actions and told him that if he still hated me, I'd understand, because to this day, I still haven't forgiven myself for what I did. I didn't just hurt a fox. I hurt my best friend."
"..."
"Bellwether?"
"... I'm a horrible person. Nothing I did can be undone. It will stay with me the rest of my days." She started to cry again. "I-I ruined so many people's lives! Maybe it is pity, maybe it is infatuation, b-but if I can change this one life around. If I can m-make him happy for the rest of his days, I-I will have at least redeemed myself to one soul on this earth. Duke doesn't have a friend in the world. I-I want to be that friend. I want to be with him foreverrr!"
"Wow. You really do love him!"
"Y-You think so?"
"Yeah. I'd go with what you just said. You need to take full responsibility for your actions. If you do that, you'll find that people can be forgiving."
"You're right, Judy! I have no one but myself to blame for what happened in the past! I need to own up to it! Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Goodbye. Oh, and say 'Hi!' to Frufru for me." Click!
Judy was stunned and horrified. "Oh, no! She knows my mafia connections!"
Meanwhile…
Dawn hung up the phone. She went to knock on Duke's door, but the weasel opened the door himself. "I… I heard what you said."
"I'm so sorry, Duke. I judged you as a weasel and not a person. Nick is right. All us mammals are just people trying to get by. People are people...so why should it be, you and I should get along so awfully?"
"Did you just quote Depeche Mole?!"
"Sorry."
"Look, if yer admittin' fault fer your actions and yer willin' to learn, 'den I forgive you. 'Dis really affected you. Are… Are you in love with me?!"
"I'm not sure. Maybe it is pity or guilt or infatuation. But… I do want to do everything in my power to make your life better."
"... Works fer me! Can I get another one of 'dem hugs?"
Dawn giggled. "Sure!" She hugged him close. "I guess it really has been a while since you had one of these."
" Outside of earlier, 'da last one was from my mom on my 18th birthday. It took me by surprise because she ain't very lovin'. She bribed my schoolmates inta' hangin' out with me at Dave and Buster Bunny's. 'Dey weren't really my friends, but 'dey ain't sayin' no 'ta free pizza and arcade games. 'Den… SNIFF!... 'Den…."
Suddenly, tears were streaming down Duke's cheeks. It took Bellwether by surprise. "Duke, are you okay?"
"I-I went home and... SNIFF! No one was 'dere. 'Da place was empty. Looked like it had been ransacked. My stuff was in a bag on 'da porch. 'Dere was an envelope with a hundred bucks in it a-and a note 'dat said. 'Happy 18th birthday. You're on your own now.' Signed by my mom! I never saw her again!" He sobbed on Dawn's shoulder. "I l-love yer wool. It's so absorbent."
Dawn was crying too. "Duke! I-I'm so…"
"Shh! No words. Just hugs. Okay?"
"O-Okay."
Meanwhile…
Nick had been reading bad dad jokes to the demon as Wolford was almost finished with the pentagram. "Hey! What do you get if you cross a helicopter, an elephant and a rhino?"
The demon couldn't take it anymore. "Please stop!"
"Hell-ef-I-no! HAHAHA!"
"UGH! I can't take much more!" The demon threw up some more mammals. "BLAAAARGH!"
"Keep going!" Wolford shouted as he finished with the pentagram."
Nick continued. "Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!"
The demon puked up some more people. "WHAARRRFF! I give up! I want outta here!"
"It's done!" shouted Wolford.
"Good!" said the demon. "I wanna go home! I can't stand these jokes!"
"Not until you barf up everyone else!"
"Fine!" Demon spewed out the rest of the mammals. They were covered in slime. "Now get me outta here!"
"I just have to chant the words. ELOHSSA TSOL TEG!"
A portal opened up where the pentagram was and the demon dove inside. Wolford sealed the portal and washed off the street chalk.
It was over. Nick approached the elk couple who started it all. "Gender reveal parties are illegal! What the hell were you thinking?!"
"We just wanted something special to announce our baby's gender!" said the lady elk.
"Yeah!" said the male elk. "I mean, there was that fire one, the one with the pink explosives, and the one with the mini-nuke that went off on an island with a blue mushroom cloud. We just wanted to top it."
"Do you know what the first gender reveal party entailed?" Nick asked.
"No."
"A CAKE! A simple cake with pink frosting inside!"
Furious, Nick started to leave but turned around for a moment. "And it should be called a SEX reveal party! Your sex doesn't always resemble your gender! Remember that!"
Nick stormed off to the car and drove off. "I'll let Wolford handle the paperwork. This was supposed to be my day off! The flowers are still fresh. Skye might still be at the auto shop. I gotta hurry!"
Meanwhile…
Duke felt the need to pee. He opened the bathroom door to a horrified Dawn. She quickly put her hooves to her eyes. "AAAH! How many times have I told you to knock?!"
"You didn't lock it! Besides, you ain't naked. Why are you covering your eyes?"
"Don't look I'm changing my contacts!"
Duke looked at the sink to see two pairs of contact lenses. "Contacts?! You wear glasses!"
"Those are not how my eyes look. Ewes have pretty, round eyes as young lambs, but they change into these ugly, yellow eyes with a flat line for an iris as they mature."
"Like rams?"
"Exactly."
"What's so bad about 'dat?!"
"They look terrible! All ewes wear contacts to make themselves look young because our adult eyes are ugly."
Duke grabbed her arms. "Lemme look."
"No! Please! I'm hideous!"
"No, yer not! Let me see. I promise I won't make fun."
Dawn slowly lowered her arms and opened her eyes.
Duke saw the yellow eyes with the large, flat iris. He looked deep into them. "Y'know, I thought yer wool was yer best feature. I wuz wrong. Dawn, yer eyes are gorgeous. You should never hide them."
"Y-Y-You're lying!"
"I ain't! These two minuses are a plus! You've been robbin' 'da world of 'dese beautiful peepers of yours. It's what God gave you and he don't make no mistakes. Well, maybe 'da platypus, but 'dat's it."
Dawn couldn't speak. Tears flowed down her face like a river. "D-Duke, I…I… "
"Are you okay?"
She slammed him into the wall and kissed his lips passionately. "Mwah! Mmmm! Mwah! Your breath is terrible, but I don't care! I love you! I love you!"
Duke could barely get a word out. "Damn! Dawn, I.."
"You, me, bed, now!"
She pulled on his arm towards her room, but he pulled back. "Wait! I-I'm gettin' a little too excited. I'm worried. It's my first time and I might be… y'know, premature."
Dawn winked at him. "I can help with that. And afterward…." She pulled out her shears. "... A trust exercise."
Duke panicked. "I don't wanna be sheared!"
"You'll be shearing me, stupid."
"Oh."
Meanwhile...
Nick giggled as he snuck into Skye's garage. He found a hiding spot and quickly took off his clothes.
Skye was finishing some paperwork in the upper office above the garage and was almost ready to go home when she heard someone shouting from inside the garage. "GRRRRR Skye Chaser! I'm going to rape you!"
She looked at the camera monitors and saw a naked fox. She then looked out the window. "...Nick?!"
"GRAAAH! You're my prey tonight! No condoms! I'm gonna knock you up!"
Her ears raised with excitement! " Oh, Nick! Honey! I'll be right down!"
She ran down and hugged and kissed her naked boyfriend. "This is perfect! Even if it don't take none, we got a witness for tonight!"
"A witness?!"
He saw a familiar fox coming out of the ladies' room. "Oh, my word! Nick! Are you gonna marry-mate tonight?!"
Nick quickly covered his crotch with his paws. "... MOM?!"
Next Chapter: Awkward Sex