Chapter 4: Turles's Big Plan
In a tavern back in town, most of the villagers were enjoying themselves and drinking. The only person not enjoying himself is sitting in an armchair just for him in front of the fireplace. He is upset over what happened today. There were also three cloaked figures.
Turles: Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man. No one says no to Turles! And I mean no one!
Nappa: Yeah! She has no rights!
He brings over two mugs full of beer.
Turles: Can you believe what she did to me? I was dismissed, rejected, and humiliated in front of everyone! And by the most beautiful girl in town, no less!
He grabs the mugs from Nappa and threw them in the fireplace.
Turles: I just can't stand it!
Nappa: More beer?
Turles: It won't help now! Not after what happened today! I'm disgraced!
He puts his head into his hands, upset.
Nappa: Disgraced? You? Never! You've gotta pull yourself together, Turles.
He then begins to sing.
Nappa: Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Turles. Looking so down in the dumps.
He tried to stretch Turles's face into a smile. Turles however punched him into a table occupied by his friends Vegeta, Raditz, Frieza, Cell, and Kid Buu. Nappa got up and gestures to the cronies, who cheers.
Nappa: Every guy here'd love to be you, Turles. Even when taking your lumps.
Annoyed, Turles turns his chair away and tried to ignore Nappa.
Nappa: There's no man in town as admired as you. You're everyone's favorite guy. Everyone's awed and inspired by you.
He turns Turles's chair around, as Chi-Chi, Bulma, and 18 comes over.
Nappa: And it's not very hard to see why!
The girls then swoons over Turles, as they sigh lovingly at him.
Nappa: No one's slick as Turles, no one's quick as Turles.
He removes a belt from Duke Igthorn's pants, causing them to fall to the ground, alarming Igthorn.
Nappa: No one's neck as incredibly thick as Turles. For there's no man in town half as manly.
he wraps the belt around Turles's neck like a tie. Turles's flexes and breaks it off.
Nappa: Perfect, a pure paragon. You can ask any Cell, Buu, and Frieza.
He dances around, stepping on the cronies' heads, giving them headaches.
Nappa: And they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be one!
The cronies grabbed Nappa and began swinging him back and forth near Turles.
Nappa, Vegeta, Raditz, Frieza, Cell, & Buu: No one's been like Turles, a kingpin like Turles.
Nappa: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Turles.
He tickles Turles's chin. Turles smirks, getting his pride and confidence back, as he begins to sing.
Turles: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating.
Vegeta, Raditz, Frieza, Cell, & Buu: My, what a guy that Turles!
The cronies slammed their mugs together. Soon, the whole tavern began to sang. All except the three cloaked figures, who are sitting at the table, just frowning at this.
Gorneesh, Igthorn, No-Heart, Gargamel, & Dr. Claw: Give five hurrahs, give twelve hip-hips.
Nappa: Turles is the best and the rest is all drips!
He got so into the moment that, when Turles stood up, he accidentally threw his beer into his boss's face. Turles glares angrily, as Nappa hid his mug behind his back, looking innocent. Turles then punched Nappa right onto the cronies' table and jumps in to wrestle with them.
Cobra Commander, Shredder, Skeletor, Hordak, & Mumm-Ra: No one fights like Turles, no one bites like Turles.
Turles bites on Raditz's foot, making him yelp in pain.
Raditz: No a wrestling match, nobody bites like Turles.
Chi-Chi, Bulma, & 18: For there's no one as burly and brawny.
Suddenly, Turles lifts up the bench the girls were sitting on, making them giggle in delight.
Turles: As you see I've got biceps to spare.
Nappa: Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny.
Suddenly, the bench fell on Nappa, knocking him down. The girls were unharmed, lucky for them.
Turles: That's right! And every last inch of me covered with hair!
He then shows his hairy chest. Later, he plays a chess game with Gargamel. His opponent won. He angrily knocks the chessboard aside.
Pete, Glomgold, Fat Cat, Don Karnage, & Negaduck: No one hits like Turles, matches wits like Turles.
Nappa: In a spitting match, nobody spits like Turles.
Turles is chewing gum right now, as he sings.
Turles: I'm especially good at expectorating!
He then spits out his gum very fast. Vegeta, Raditz, Frieza, Cell, and Buu each held up signs saying "10."
Vegeta, Raditz, Frieza, Cell, & Buu: Ten points for Turles!
The gum bounced across the room and knocks Nappa down. Next, Turles is juggling eggs.
Turles: When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs. Every morning to help me get large.
He then threw the eggs into the air and caught each one in his mouth. Nappa tried to do this, but all that happens is the eggs landing splat on his face.
Turles: And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs. So, I'm roughly the size of a barge!
He then held up his gun and shot really fast, nearly knocking Nappa out of his stool. He made some holes in a barrel, sending out leaks of beer, which spilled into the onlookers' mugs.
Gemini Sega, Y. Toguro, Crocodile, Orochimaru, & Aizen: No one shoots like Turles, makes those beauts like Turles.
Then Turles stomps on the floor loudly, shaking the whole room, as Nappa watched.
Nappa: Then go stomping around wearing boots like Turles.
Turles: I use antlers in all of my decorating!
He then shows off a lot of his animal trophies he got killing animals, while hunting. He even shows off a portrait of himself. All of which is above the fireplace. Then Vegeta, Raditz, Frieza, Cell, and Buu made cheers with their beer.
Vegeta, Raditz, Frieza, Cell, & Buu: My, what a guy! Turles!
They then carry Turles's chair with him still on it and ran very fast. Nappa runs to try to get out of the way, but they dropped it on him by accident. Everyone cheers and laughs. All but the same three cloaked figures. Suddenly, the moment was interrupted, when a familiar figure ran into the tavern with black circles under his eyes, as if he hasn't slept in days. It was Mario.
Mario: Someone, help a me!
Monty: Mario?
Mario: You a all gotta help a me!
He goes from table to table.
Mario: He a got her a locked in a the tower in a castle in a the forest!
Demidevimon: Who?
Mario: Serena! And her a friends Buster, Babs, and the rest of a the Tiny Toons!
When Mario mentions Buster, Babs, and the Tiny Toons, the three figures who weren't involved in the singing looks concerned.
Mario: We a gotta go! I a know the way! There a isn't a moment to a lose!
Turles: Whoa! Slow down, old man. Who locked Serena in a tower?
Mario: It's a beast! A horrible monstrous Super Saiyan Beast!
There was a pause for a few seconds, then the whole tavern, except for the same three figures, laughed at this. Mario is getting old and is known to be senile at times. As Mario looks concerned that no one, except the three figures, were listening.
Garuru: Is it a big beast?
Mario: Huge!
Gengar: With a long, ugly snout?
Gengar uses a clear mug to make his mouth look huge like a magnifying glass..
Mario: No, he a has a human face!
Spat: And sharp, cruel fangs?
Mario: Yes! Will a you a help a me?
Turles: Alright, Mario. We'll help you out.
He made a gesture to Raditz and Vegeta, who then grabs Mario and takes him to the door.
Mario: You a will? Oh, thank you, thank you!
His happiness was short-lived, however, when Raditz and Vegeta threw him out of the tavern and into the snow. He then realizes that they didn't believe him after all. As Raditz and Vegeta went back to their table, they laughed at Mario's "craziness."
Raditz: That crazy old Mario.
Vegeta: I know. He's always good for a laugh.
Turles was overhearing this from a chair. After thinking it over, a plan forms in his head. A brilliant yet awful plan.
Turles: Crazy old Mario, huh?
With a smirk, he turns to Nappa and began to sing once more.
Turles: Nappa, I'm afraid I've been thinking.
Nappa looks up, still under his chair.
Nappa: A dangerous past time-
Turles: I know!
He pulls Nappa from under his chair, as he continues.
Turles: But that wacky old coot is Serena's father. And his sanity's only so-so.
He then makes a "crazy sign" around his head to prove a point.
Turles: Now, the wheels in my head have been turning. Since I looked at that loony old man. See I promised myself I'd be married to Serena. And right now, I'm evolving a plan!
He then whispers into Nappa's ear. Everyone else in the tavern tried to listen in.
Turles:(Whispers)If I...
Nappa: Yeah?
Turles:(Whispers)Then we...
Nappa: No! Would she?
Turles:(Whispers)Guess.
Nappa: Now, I get it!
Turles & Nappa: Let's go!
They both began to dance, as they sing.
Turles & Nappa: No one plots like Turles.
Turles: Takes cheap shot like Turles.
Nappa: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Turles.
Turles: Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful.
Nappa: As down in the depths you descend.
Turles: I won't even be mildly remorseful.
Nappa: As long as you get what you want in the end!
Turles: Who has brains like Turles?
Nappa: Entertains like Turles?
Turles & Nappa: Who can make up these endless refrains like Turles?
Everyone: So, his marriage we soon will be celebrating! My what a guy! Turles!
As the song ends, Mario wanders outside the town square, feeling hopeless.
Mario: Will a someone help a me?
Unknown to him, the same three cloaked figures were listening. Whoever they are narrowed their eyes, then leaves very quickly. Back at the castle, Serena was still crying, face in her pillow. Her friends have entered the room, trying to comfort.
Fifi: Serena, please. Stop crying.
Cosette: You're going to dry yourself out sooner or later.
Shirley: She's right. I'm sure everything will be alright.
Suddenly, a knock came at the door, making Serena stop crying and look up.
Serena: Who is it?
? 1: It's the Mane Six.
? 2: And the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
? 3: And Spike.
Babs came over to the door and opens it to let them in. To the group's surprise, the Mane Six, Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Spike came in with Twilight pushing the cart.
Sweetie: Want some tea? It will cheer you all up.
Babs: Talking ponies and a dragon?
Serena backs up, nearly tripped over something.
?: Careful!
Serena turns to see two alicorns. One is white and one is dark blue.
Serena: Who are you?
Alicorn 1: My name is Celestia.
Alicorn 2: And my name is Luna.
Twilight: They choose clothes. I am Twilight Sparkle.
She points to her friends.
Twilight: These are my friends Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Spike.
Furrball: How is that possible?
Spike: Who knows? But it is.
He looks over at Serena.
Spike: Told ya she was pretty, Rarity.
Rarity: Dream on, Spike.
Spike got a teapot off the cart.
Applebloom: OK then.
As Applebloom pours tea in the cup Spike is holding, Fluttershy puts some sugar cubes in it.
Fluttershy: One lump or two?
Serena: Give me alot of lumps.
Pinkie:(Laugh)I like lots of lumps, too.
Applejack: Rainbow Dash, stop flying around!
Rainbow Dash: You never let me have any fun.
Applejack: Well, excuse me, buddy!
Plucky: That used to be my line, except the "buddy" part.
Once they're done, Spike then hands the cup to Serena.
Spike: Slowly now. Don't spill.
Serena: Thank you.
She takes the teacup and drinks from it. Twilight turns to the Tiny Toons.
Twilight: You can have some tea if you like.
Dizzy: Dizzy want tea!
Twilight and her friends made some more tea. They gave them to the Tiny Toons. The toons took a drink from their teacups.
Rarity: You did a brave thing for what you did.
Celestia: We all think so.
The Mane Six, CMC, and Spike nods in agreement.
Serena: But my father, my dreams, and everything. They are gone forever.
Buster: Cheer up, Serena.
Furrball: Things will turn out fine.
Twilight: They're right.
She then begins to sing.
Twilight: I hope that we'll be friends. Though we don't know you well.
Fluttershy: But if anyone can make the most of living here. Then, Serena, it's you.
Twilight & Fluttershy: And who knows? You may find home here, too.
Serena smiles a bit. This is the first time since yesterday that something happens that made her smile.
Twilight: Oh, look at the time! We're singing when we have to get dinner ready. Let's go, girls!
Fluttershy: Coming, Twilight.
Rarity: Let's go, Spikey-Wikey.
Spike: Bye, Serena.
Soon, only Serena, the Tiny Toons, Celestia, and Luna are left in the room.
Celestia: OK. Let's see what to dress you in for dinner.
Luna: Let's see what's in the wardrobe.
The two alicorns walked over to a wardrobe nearby. They opened it and searched through it. They threw out a white sleeveless shirt that Plucky wears.
Plucky: Why do I find this shirt so familiar?
Soon, Celestia pulls out a blue dress and smiles. She walks back to Serena.
Celestia: You'd looked great in this.
Serena: Uhh, I liked it, but I am not going to dinner. How can I eat with a Saiyan Beast that made me no longer see the only family I cared about?
Luna: But you got to!
Dizzy: Dizzy want food! Dizzy hungry!
Plucky: Uh-oh. All Dizzy ever think about is food.
?: Ahem!
The gang turns to see Boss and Giroro coming in. Boss clears his throat.
Boss: Dinner is served.
In the dining room, the Pokemon, Digimon, Ham-Hams, and Keronians watched, as Goku walks back and forth very impatiently.
Goku: How long does it take for a girl to get ready? She is supposed to come to dinner!
He then growls at the gang.
Goku: Why isn't she here yet?
Hamtaro: Be patient, Goku. Give Serena a break.
Bijou:(French accent)Oui. She no longer has her father and her freedom in one day.
Charmander: Say, Master Goku? Do you think that girl is the one who could break the spell over all of us?
Goku: Of course I do! I am no fool.
Agumon: Well, all you have to do is fall for her. She'd fall for you. And, poof, the spell is broken. We will be back to normal again by midnight.
Biyomon: You do know, Agumon, that stuff like this doesn't just happen.
Agumon: But the rose is wilting, even as we speak.
Goku groans, as he felt his hand through his fur.
Goku: Oh, who am I kidding? She is so beautiful and...well, look at me!
The others looked at each other in concern.
Gomamon: You just gotta let her see past all that. That's all.
Goku: I don't know how to.
Keroro: Well, first up, you gotta make yourself more presentable. Straighten up!
Goku quickly does so.
Pururu: You gotta be more like a gentleman than what you are.
Charmander: Yes. You gotta show her what a great smile you have. Go on, show me a smile.
Goku does. Except all his smile does is show his sharp teeth.
Torchic: But we can't scare the girl to death. You have to impress her with your great wit.
Goku looks at each of them, as he listens in to what the others are telling him.
Stan: Be gentle.
Pashmina: Give her compliments.
Sandy: Be sincere.
Getting a headache, Goku holds his hands to his head.
Everyone: But above all, you gotta control your temper!
The door opens up.
Treecko: Here she comes!
Goku looks up, expecting Serena to enter. But to his annoyance, only Boss and Giroro did in a nervous state.
Boss: Hey, everyone.
Goku: Where is she?
Giroro: Who? Oh, the girl. She's in the middle of...well, with what's going on and all. She'd...
Boss and Giroro then noticed Goku being very impatient, glaring at the two.
Boss: She's not coming out, as well as her friends.
Goku: WHAT?
He then rushed out of the dining room, rushing up the stairs with the Pokemon, Digimon, Ham-Hams, and Keronians rushing after him. Soon, he arrives at the door to Serena's bedroom and pounds angrily.
Goku: I told you to come down to dinner!
Buster: She isn't hungry! Leave her alone!
The others, who arrived, looks concerned or away at this.
Goku: Serena, come out or...or...I'll break down the door!
Gogo: Get lost, Mr. Saiyan!
Little Beeper even blew raspberries at the door.
Charmander: Uhh, Goku? Pardon me for saying so, but I don't think that would win Serena's affection.
Giroro: I'd agreed. Try to be a gentleman.
Goku: But she's being so DIFFICULT!
Agumon: Try to be gentle.
Goku groans, then he turns back to the door.
Goku: Serena, would you and your friends...come down to dinner?
Dizzy: Dizzy want food!
Plucky: Dizzy, NO! We can't eat with that beast!
Dizzy: But Dizzy hungry!
Furrball: We still can't eat with him!
Goku points at the door with a growl, as he glares at his servants.
Cyndaquil: Now, Goku, Suave. Gentle.
Through gritted teeth, Goku now spoke to Serena through the door. It looks like he's on edge now, including the fur.
Goku: I think it would be good pleasure if you join me for dinner.
Chikorita: Goku, you forgot "please."
Goku: OK. Please.
Serena: The answer is still no!
Goku uses his temper again.
Goku: You can't stay here forever!
Calamity: She can if she wants to!
Serena: Just try me!
Goku: FINE! THEN GO AHEAD AND STARVE!
He turns to the others.
Goku: Since she won't eat with me, don't bother giving her anything to eat!
He then storms off and slams the door very loudly, enough to cause debris to fall on Charmander.
Tentomon:(Sarcasm)Well, that was nice of him.
Charmander brushed the debris off of him.
Boss:(Sighs)Well, Cyndaquil, Chikorita, watch this door and let me know when something happens.
Cyndaquil and Chikorita salutes.
Cyndaquil & Chikorita: Yes, Boss!
The two Pokemon walks back and forth like guards in front of the door.
Dororo: We better clean up. I don't think dinner will be for a while.
The rest of the gang went downstairs. In the West Wing, the whole place itself looks torn up and ruined. But Goku doesn't seem to be annoyed at it right now, as he storms in.
Goku: This is ridiculous! I said please! What more does she want from me?
He comes over to his dressing table.
Goku: I mean, does she want me to beg?
He then picks up his magic mirror, the same mirror the enchantress left him when he was enchanted, and demands to it.
Goku: Show me the girl!
Soon, the magic mirror flashed and an image appears. It is of Serena sitting in her bed. The Tiny Toons, Celestia, and Luna are next to it.
Celestia: Oh, come on, Serena. Can you at least give Goku a chance?
Babs: Why should she, after what he did to her father?
Serena: She's right. I wouldn't give that thing a chance no matter what.
Luna: But he isn't that bad, Serena. You just gotta know him.
Fifi: What makes you zhink she wants to know him?
Shirley: Yeah. He is so nasty.
Cosette: Oui. I wouldn't go twelve feet near zhat monster.
Serena: They're right. I don't wanna know him. Heck, I don't want anything to do with him!
As he sees this, Goku sighs sadly, as he looks up.
Goku: I am only kidding myself. She will never see me as anything but a monster.
As he said "but a monster," he puts his mirror down on the table in sadness. Nearby, his rose, which sits under a glass top, loses a petal. Goku sighs sadly.
Goku: It's hopeless.
That's it for chapter 4. Again, I bet alot of you weren't expecting 80s cartoon villains to make cameos during Turles's song. Can you guess what cartoons they're from? What will happen to Serena and her friends? Stay tuned next time.