I Know You Would Not Hurt Me

Getting ready for school was quiet the following morning. Edd was up, showered, and dressed before Kevin woke up. He was full of nervous energy and had a queasy feeling deep in his guts that today was going to go bad. It was a curious feeling, because he believed Kevin. Jake seemed to be a trustworthy individual, as well as nice. His friendship with Kevin appeared to be genuine. Besides, Kevin said Jake had known about them since January and hadn't said anything. He obviously could keep Kevin's secrets.

And, just as obviously, didn't care that Kevin was gay.

That was more reassuring than Jake's silence. It was the focus of Edd's thoughts as he prepared oatmeal for their breakfast. He hoped the bland food would settle his upset stomach. Jake's friendship meant a lot to Kevin, and it made Edd feel better to know Kevin wouldn't lose it. Or would he? Would Jake be the type of person to drop Kevin if others turned against him? Edd didn't think so, but Edd didn't know Jake well enough to judge.

It was partly his own fault, of course. Edd never initiated any type of friendship with Jake. Edd never spoke to him at the lunch table. Edd rarely spoke up at all at the table.

He sighed, poking a wooden spoon into the pot to give it a stir. 'Focus on your day,' he told himself. Edd found that going over his day in his head sometimes settled his thoughts, so he reviewed his schedule. School, of course, and he mentally listed his classes. Come home and get ready to go out. They planned on dinner somewhere – Kevin hadn't told him where yet – as a sort of celebration of their five-month anniversary. Nothing big, Kevin assured him. Just them, though. Then home to spend the rest of the evening with homework.

They should spend time with Sylvie and Pete this week, he mused to himself. Edd didn't want Kevin's parents to think he'd completely stolen Kevin away. He smiled as he got bowls down for the meal. Yes. Tomorrow would be a good day to spend the evening with them. But tonight was their night. He was sure Kevin would want to celebrate a little more privately with him.

It was also a strange feeling in his heart that he knew came from Kevin telling Jake. They had promised to keep it secret and Kevin hadn't. Edd didn't know what to think about it, let alone what to do about it. He knew it was an accident and that Kevin wouldn't deliberately tell anyone, but Edd's nerves were keyed up and he had no idea what to say when Kevin came downstairs.

Kevin entered the kitchen, yawning and still blinking sleep out of his eyes. He'd at least showered and dressed, so Edd pointed him to the table. Instead, Kevin came over to kiss him on the cheek and mutter a "Happy Anniversary" to him before scooping out his portion. Edd chuckled, murmured a "Happy Anniversary" in return, then gently directed his sleepy lover toward his seat. Okay, that wasn't too bad. It was their anniversary, and while not an important one, it was still nice that Kevin remembered.

They ate in silence, Edd eating his oatmeal plain and Kevin loading his with brown sugar and cream. Edd wasn't sure what to say. They hadn't talked much after their little spat the night before. It left Edd emotionally drained and caught up in his mind. Kevin, he knew, felt guilty, but he could also tell Kevin didn't know what to say other than sorry. They had gotten out of bed, cleaned up, and put together a quick dinner. Thank goodness Edd had homework to concentrate on, or he might have ended up screaming.

When they went to bed, Kevin held him as usual, the koala hold they'd fallen into soon after sleeping together every night. Kevin practically lay on top of him, arms tightly squeezing him, legs tangled, and face buried into the hair at the nape of his neck. Edd thought it should feel uncomfortable, but Kevin's weight was a comfort and helped him to sleep better than he ever had.

It was no different the previous night, for which Edd was grateful. The way his thoughts jumbled in his head, he needed the normalcy of their routine. He tried not to think too much about what might happen at school the next day – if Jake would tell everyone or not – but he couldn't help it. He pictured how school would be where he could walk down the hall holding Kevin's hand, or kissing Kevin on his cheek at his locker, and he loved the thought. However, with Kevin's soft snores ruffling his hair, he also pictured faceless classmates making fun of Kevin, or hurting him. The thought kept creeping back into his mind no matter what he did.

"I was thinking of going to the diner tonight, if that's okay?" Kevin suddenly asked.

Edd stirred, pushing his thoughts back down into his mind to focus on Kevin. "That would be nice."

"I know it's not fancy or anything. Not for an anniversary," Kevin admitted, poking his oatmeal to form a pool of cream on the top. Edd watched Kevin scrape his spoon away from the little pool to make it into a stream. "Maybe we can do something nicer for our sixth?"

"You know I do not require 'fancy' to be happy," Edd said.

"I know. Doesn't mean you don't deserve it," Kevin countered. After taking a bite of his breakfast, Kevin continued. "I'm just glad you want to go."

Edd looked up at him. "Why would I not want to?" he asked with surprise.

Kevin shrugged, not raising his eyes. "I was afraid you'd still be mad at me."

"Oh," Edd said. He studied Kevin, noting his boyfriend's nervous movements and posture. Edd was so wrapped up in his own worries; he forgot Kevin was the other side of their little fight. He felt a shaft of guilt join the nauseous feeling in his gut. "I was." Kevin's eyes darted up to him, his expression upset. Edd smiled, though. "That is the past tense, Kevin. I was, but I also know it was an honest mistake."

"It was," Kevin said.

"I know. I know you would not hurt me. Not on purpose."

"Of course I wouldn't, Dee."

"I know," Edd repeated.

"Good," he said. "I don't like fighting."

Edd reached over and put his hand on top of Kevin's. "It was not a true fight, I think. I am sorry I got upset. I should have said that before we went to sleep."

Kevin flipped his hand so their palms pressed together. "Mom did tell me when we started dating that it's important not to go to bed angry."

"It is good advice," Edd agreed. He wondered, though, if it was advice he'd be able to follow should it come to it. Edd knew he hated confrontation, and the thought of having a confrontation with Kevin made his stomach turn more. The few times they came close to arguing caused Edd anxiety enough that he was happy it defused quickly so he would not have to face the question.

Kevin squeezed his hand, then went back to his breakfast. His demeanor seemed happier, at least. Edd, however, felt uneasy and felt a certain amount of dread for this day.

The feeling of dread stuck with Edd like a dark cloud through the morning. Since Kevin trusted his friend, Edd knew he should too, but he couldn't shake the feeling something would happen at some point.

Nothing did, and by lunch he was breathing a little easier, though he was nervous to go to their table and sit across from Jake. It must be his sense of unease influencing him.

He was the last of his group of friends to arrive, though most of Kevin's teammates and the cheerleaders who normally sat with them had not. Just Jake. Edd placed his lunchbox on the table in front of him, mumbling return greetings to the others, who all said hello to him. He sat down, avoiding eye contact.

He could feel Jake's gaze on him, however. Against his will, his eyes darted up.

Jake, for his part, watched Edd arrive with curiosity. He'd never gotten to know the silent boy who always sat across from him. Sure, Edd responded to him with short answers whenever Jake did say something to him, but Jake could never think of much to say. He knew Edd was incredibly smart, so Jake figured he would sound stupid to the genius.

Yet, looking at him now, Jake was surprised at the pure fear in Edd's eyes as he held his gaze. He also could see, now that he looked at Edd objectively, what Kevin saw in him. He was a cute kid. And those eyes. Wow. Jake had never seen such a beautiful color, backed by an apparent intelligence, if you took out the terror. Was Edd that scared of what Jake knew?

Jake attempted a smile at him, but it got no response. Kevin wasn't kidding when he said Edd was scared of their relationship being known. Jake hadn't had a chance to talk to Kevin yet today, so he wasn't sure how Edd took the knowledge that he knew. He guessed the confession had not gone well.

He felt he should reassure Edd that everything would be fine and that Edd could trust him. Since no one had joined their table yet, Jake leaned forward and said in a low tone, "I know Kevin told you I know. You don't have to worry about me saying anything, Double D. I promise your secret is safe with me."

Edd nodded slowly, his eyes darting to look at Kevin briefly. Kevin watched the exchange intensely. "I appreciate that, Jake," Edd finally said. He opened his mouth to say more, but by then three others, Ben, Joel, and Jason, arrived with their lunches, so Edd turned his gaze down and started to eat mechanically.

Kevin and Jake looked at each other. Kevin mouthed 'thank you' to him and Jake winked back. They both noticed Nazz, Eddy, and Rolf all giving them strange looks and Kevin murmured, "Tell you later," which had to satisfy them for the present.

"Hey Kev!" Joel called over. "Awesome show yesterday. Voted for you!"

Kevin laughed. "Thanks, man."

Ben looked at his friend. "You voted for him? There wasn't any voting."

"What do you mean there wasn't any voting?"

"It was a talent show. Not a competition."

"Well, I wrote Kev's name on a piece of paper and stuck it in a box."

Almost everyone laughed at Joel, who looked put out. "I don't know what you voted on, but it wasn't the talent show," Jake said.

Two girls arrived - two of the cheerleaders - and squeezed themselves at the table beyond the three young men.

"It was still a good performance," Joel insisted, his cheeks red.

"Weren't you nervous?" Maddie asked, leaning forward to direct her question to Kevin.

"Oh, yeah, a lot. But I really wanted to do this, so I just sucked it up and went for it."

As the conversation turned to the talent show, Edd stopped eating and stared into his container of food. 'Oh, dear, this is not good,' he thought.

"So, Kev," Jackie drawled, "who's the lucky girl you sang the song to?"

Definitely not good. Edd was not surprised that Kevin's friends would ask him about the song.

Kevin laughed, and Edd could detect the nervous waver in it. "Oh, just someone."

"C'mon, Kev, she has to have a name."

"Uh, yeah. We want to keep it on the down low for now."

The five sitting on that end stared at Kevin. "What?" Maddie asked. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Is she hideous?" Jason asked with a laugh.

"Or a teacher?" Ben tossed in.

"Or both? It's not Mrs. Peterson, is it?" Joel added.

Kevin laughed again. "No, none of those. Mrs. Peterson turned me down," he joked, getting a laugh from those at the other end of the table. Edd heard nothing from his friends, and a quick glance at them showed Eddy, Nazz, and Rolf all watching the exchange with fixed, wooden smiles on their faces.

"Well, the biggest question is," Jason said, "did that performance get you laid?"

"Ugh, Jason, you pig!" Maddie exclaimed, throwing her plastic spoon at him. "It's none of your business!"

Jason ducked, raising his hands. "Hey, it's a fair question. Guy only does something like that to get laid."

"Not everyone is a jerk like you, asshole!"

Jason ignored her. "So, c'mon Kev. Did you get some for it?"

Kevin had blushed. "What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom," was all he answered.

"In other words, yes," Jason reasoned, getting a small chuckle from Joel and Ben. Maddie and Jackie made disgusted noises, while no one on Kevin's end of the table made a sound.

"Just knock it off, dude," Jake said.

"I'm just funning with him, dick," Jason said. His expression was still amused, though there was a vicious tone in his voice. Jason joined them at the table often, though Edd knew not many of the others liked him. He had a mean streak and often said rude things to and about others. Edd didn't like him. He knew Kevin surely didn't.

"It's not funny."

"Says you."

"So, who is it Kev?" Jackie asked again.

"I don't want to say," Kevin said, looking at Nazz.

"It's not Nazz, is it?" Ben asked with a sly look at Eddy, who bristled.

Nazz laughed it off. "Uh, no. Kev knows I'm happy with Eddy."

"What's the big deal, Kev?" Ben asked.

Kevin shrugged. "Nothing. We just don't want anyone to know yet."

"Maybe cause it's a dude?" Jason asked.

Everyone went quiet and Edd froze. He felt he couldn't get his mind to work. One thought pressed on his brain – 'Kevin is going to out us. He told Jake, he's going to tell everyone else.'

"That's not even funny, Jason, you prick," Maddie chided him.

"Is that it, Kev? You fucking a guy?"

"What the fuck, asshole?" Jake asked angrily.

Jason shrugged. "Bet it's Ed."

Kevin snapped his gaze onto Jason. "What?"

"You sit next to him every day," Jason pointed out, gesturing at Ed, who sat blissfully smiling next to Kevin. Even Edd finally looked down the table to Ed. "What? Are you playing footsie under the table and holding hands?"

Kevin laughed, and Edd could hear the giddiness of relief in his laughter. Kevin nodded then, putting his arm around Ed, who smiled happily at Kevin. "Yeah, dude. He's my man. We're very happy together!"

At this, Ed frowned and looked over to Edd confusedly. "No, we're not Kevin! You don't love me, you love OUCH! Who kicked me?"

"Oh, did I?" Nazz asked innocently. "My foot slipped."

"Ah, so all your friends know your secret lover," Jason said, leaning his elbows on the table and staring intently at Kevin, whose smile had faded somewhat.

"What if we do?" Eddy asked in a belligerent tone.

"Come on, Kev? Are you dating a guy?" Jason pressed.

Kevin looked at Nazz again, who returned his look with a neutral expression. His eyes then flickered to Rolf, Ed, and Eddy, who all returned the same expression Nazz did. He finally met Edd's eyes for the first time since this had started.

"So, what if I am?"

Edd's eyes widened and he felt pressure on his arm from Eddy, enough to help ground him. He couldn't believe Kevin had just outed himself.

Jason snorted. The expressions on Joel, Ben, Maddie, and Jackie's faces were shocked, and Jason looked at all of them quickly before looking back at Kevin and his friends. "None of them are surprised," Jason said, gesturing to their end of the table. "Must be true then. You're a fag, huh?"

"First of all, you fuck," Kevin said in a voice that was all the more terrible because it was calm and quiet, "don't call me that. I'm gay. Second of all, it's none of your fucking business that I am. Third, it's also none of your fucking business who I'm dating. So, back off or I'll beat the shit out of you."

Jason laughed, turning to look at Joel and Ben, who looked confused. "What a captain we have gentlemen. Keep your pants on in the locker room."

Joel and Ben frowned, but didn't look at Kevin. Edd returned to staring at his food.

"Just tell us, captain," Jason taunted.

"I told you it's none of your fucking business."

"Tell us. Who's your queer boyfriend?"

Edd took a deep breath and looked up at Kevin. He could tell Kevin had reached his limit – he looked ready to lunge down the table and punch the sneer off Jason. He was surprised at how calm he felt himself, but he also felt angry. Kevin was going to out them, and he couldn't allow that. He couldn't allow Kevin to say it for him. The chair scraped loudly as he pushed away from the table, a sound he focused on in the noisy cafeteria, and he stood up, wishing he was taller.

He caught Kevin's surprised look before he turned to fix his eyes on Jason, who looked up at Edd with a confused expression.

"Kevin is dating me," Edd said in a quiet and dignified voice, then turned and walked toward the door with his head held high.