Chapter 5

Know Better

16 years ago

February 2013

"Ray, stop behaving like a child please," my mother, Karla scolded my dad as if he were one of her kids. Well, in truth, my father may be the scary high school teacher but when he's at home, he acted like a puppy while my mom's the Alpha.

"Come on, Sweetheart, that's good you're playing with it," Mom's totally impatient.

"Okay, fine," Dad rolled his eyes. He was acting like a detective from a 50's film and he used the bacon as his moustache. Well, he did that to make my little sister laugh. Ella really enjoyed it when our father got into his comedic antics. Mom scolded Dad with more seriously when he ate the bacon he just used as a moustache.

That made Ella laugh even harder.

Mom just rolled her eyes and continued to eat our breakfast. I just smiled at the two of them. I guess that's how marriage was supposed to be: sticking with the one you love despite him or her being a pain in the ass.

After a few minutes, Dad told us, "I really had a hard time at work yesterday."

"Why so?" I asked a little bit worried.

"Christian Grey acted up in class again. I know he's friends with his other classmates but he didn't have to throw balls of paper at them when they recite. That Grey kid may not be serious with his education but those other boys are. One of these days he's gonna get punched by one of his friends."

I can't hide my disappointment at that. I knew he's not that bad but why is he acting that way?

"Isn't that too immature? For a kid so much privilege, he surely is arrogant," my mother shook her head while expressing.

"No, he's not arrogant," I defended him without any hesitations.

"How do you know that, Ana?" Dad's eyes narrowed at me.

"I always go to their house. Remember, he's Mia's big brother? He is totally not arrogant at all," I tell him the truth.

"Well, that's what you think, dear. But based on what your father said? He drinks, smokes, and parties with friends. He gets tickets for over speeding. He doesn't take school seriously and teachers are forced to let him pass. And on top of it all, your father always sees him making out with different girls at the parking lot."

I hated hearing the last part. Somehow, any thought about him being with another girl tightened my chest in the worst way.

Still, I rebutted, "I'm sure he's not that bad and—"

"Do you like him, Ana?" Dad sounded as if he's a crime officer interrogating me.

I felt my cheeks redden. I denied, "Of course, not!"

"Good. Because you know better than to like someone as scandalous as him."

I finished my breakfast but that statement planted a seed of doubt in my head.

-page break-

At the library, Mia and I wrote our essay for English class. She seemed to be very focused. In fact, she seemed so determined to write a good piece. I bet she wanted to impress Ethan.

"Mia, calm down. Your pen won't make it through the day," I teased. She kept chewing the cap of her pen. She should enjoy writing and not be too pressured.

"Ana, I'm just so nervous! Remember when Ethan said that he doesn't like girls who don't write well?" She frowned like a little kid.

Months have passed and she's still pining over Ethan. The truth was although I wanted her to be happy, it's just not working out. Ethan's not interested in her at all. If he had that small ounce of feelings towards her, he's just too focused on school.

"Mia, I don't want to say this but—"

Before I can start telling her the truth, Mrs. Grimes, our 60-year old librarian shushed us. She may be meters away but her shushing was so loud it was heard by everyone.

I decided to just leave it for now though. I smiled sadly at my best friend. I knew this instant that she was going to get hurt in the end.

While the two of us continued to write our essay, I unintentionally heard a conversation from two seniors sitting from behind our table.

"Dude, were you in the house party last night? Christian went full-on monster with the beer. We called him the mighty Beer Lord. He finished twenty-four red cups. He's such an animal!"

"No shit? I'm pretty sure he got wasted."

"Dude, he was fucking wasted. I bet he's still lying down that lawn since he missed school again."

The conversation I heard from the table behind me made me pause at my writing. I stared into nothing as what I heard about Christian let me down again. As if this morning was not enough, this conversation I heard just pushed my disappointment further.

"Well, dude—" there was supposed to be another news but Mrs. Grimes shushed them too.

The library was silent but my mind was not—it was in total chaos thinking about Christian.

-page break-

"You're awfully quiet today. Is something wrong?" Christian asked with a concerned voice.

We're inside his car for my ride home. He started talking about the tv show he just watched and his voice faded gradually while I sat in his car. All I could ever think about was the thought of him going out with all of his friends, drinking, smoking, and probably getting into rowdy fights. Worse, he could be making out with pretty girls too.

All I did was stare at him while he waited for an answer.

Looking into his face-copper hair, stormy gray eyes, perfect nose and warmest winter skin—he's just so beautiful but it's not just because of that. We've spent time together for months. We got to know more about each other and we just had this inexplicable bond that even ourselves never saw coming.

However, my shoulders arched disappointingly at all the things I've heard of about him. It's the way he behaved. He's never serious and it just made me doubt. What if he's just leading me on and stringing me along?

"Hey!" He snapped his fingers.

I blinked a few times.

"You got lost in my handsome face, eh?" He smiled widely and chuckled like a kid.

If I wasn't just so doubtful, I'd be disagreeing with him again. However, I was just so bothered by all of it.

Christian's laughter faded and his voice softened when he asked, "Ana, if anything's the matter at all, then don't hesitate to tell me about it."

I found my voice to ask, "What do you want to be, Christian?"

He looked surprised.

I added, "You already know that I'd like to be a journalist someday. I tell you all about my dreams. So, what about you? What's your dream?"

Christian thought deeply as he drove. He stared outside his windscreen, unsure which road to take.

He looked at me and jokingly answered, "I honestly didn't think about that all. I mean, my parents are rich and I suppose I'm not really good at anything except at partying, drinking, and smoking cigarettes. I guess I'll be independently wealthy."

I didn't laugh with him. In fact, I hated his answer.

When he noticed I wasn't laughing, he straightened his back and I sensed his seriousness when he said, "The truth is I don't know what I'll be. I know I'll be wealthy and that's just it. I don't know what I'll be, Ana but all I know for now is that I want you to be there in the years to come in my life."

No words came out of my mouth when he uttered those words. He sounded so sincere—so delicate even.

I couldn't find the right words to reply. I was too upset, I was so happy, I was in disbelief. There were so many emotions swirling inside me.

His car stopped in front of our apartment building. Our gazes were still locked, never breaking. I could hear my heart beating, it's begging to come out of my chest. My hands were as cold as ice. Christian leaned slowly and I didn't move an inch.

I closed my eyes and anticipated his lips on mine.

However, everyone's voices invaded my thoughts again.

"Christian doesn't really care about school. He's going to graduate stupid but that doesn't matter because his family is filthy rich."

"Christian acted up in class again."

"Christian got wasted in the party again. He missed class because he's still hangover from last night."

"Christian Grey and senior girl, Leila Williams were caught shotgun smoking at the bottom of the bleachers."

"Have you heard about Christian's new hookup?"

"You know better than being with him, Ana."

Just when I felt his lips slightly brushed mine, I immediately pulled away. His eyes fluttered open, they were shocked, fearful, worried, weary—a whole kaleidoscope of emotions I can guess.

"I need to go now," I told him while unbuckling my seatbelt.

"Hey," he whispered and his cold trembling hands cupped my cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I just caught up in the moment. We don't have to kiss if you don't want to," he said.

I really—I badly wanted to kiss him, but I know better than that.

"I like you, Ana," he confessed.

I reminded myself how to breathe.

Removing his hands from my cheek, I replied, "I have to go." I quickly got out of his car and didn't look back.

I went inside our apartment and rested my back against the door. I breathed fast—inhale and exhale in fast motion. I slid all the way down until I felt the floor. I wrapped my arms around my folded knees.

It was smart to walk away but it didn't make me happy.

Thank you for reading the previous chapter. The story has 50 followers now and I'm so happy about that. I appreciate you all. – Cloud