Chapter 5

Once in a blue Moony

Sirius was nervous, Moony was coming today. He was pacing a hole in the carpet.

They had seen each other briefly after the trial. They had hugged but had been unable to speak, something Sirius wasn't too mournful about, he hadn't known what to say, before he was ushered away by his family.

His family. Thinking of them left a bitter taste in his mouth, bunch of bigoted blood purists. Most of them would have given everything to see the dark lord triumph. They would have cheered about Lily's death if not for the downfall of the dark lord at the hands of his goddaughter. And now he was back in the middle of them. He hadn't seen most of them since he was sixteen when he ran away to live with aunt Dorea, uncle Charles and James, and he had been glad for it. But where could he go?

He supposed his old apartment was there. It should still be his, after all he had bought it. If his possessions were still there was another matter. He could sell it and use the gold from the sale and his restitution to buy a place out in the countryside. Somewhere where he and Rose would be able to fly without too much hassle. Perhaps Moony would like to live with them. And what about Orion?

What about Orion…His son. He wasn't quite sure what to make of the boy—man, he reminded himself.

The idea of having a son had taken root in his heart since Kingsley told him the news, seeing Orion walking beside his grandmother had made it a reality. The moment wherein he embraced Orion had dominated the frontpage of the papers the day after his trial. By then Sirius had already known it was a lie. A part of him felt relief but a bigger part felt cheated somehow. He wanted it to be true. Fortunately he had Rose left.

Orion had assured him that she was safe and sound. That information helped with the guilt about that he ran off to confront the rat after he had entrusted Rose to Hagrid. However he still wanted to see her.

Music and laughter interrupted his thoughts. When he arrived at the source he saw Orion teaching his grandmother a dance, one he recognised as a muggle dance from Lily trying to teach James. Both of them were laughing and smiling.

It was weird to see his grandmother behaving so warm, and that to a virtual stranger. Even his grandfather was different from how he remembered. It was clear that he had a soft spot for Orion and allowed him to say things and behave in ways that others would have gotten a curse in the face for.

It was difficult to get the measure of Orion. Sometimes he behaved like the boy he appeared physically and you almost forgot how old he was meant to be, while in other moments he seemed even older than his grandfather. It was the eyes he knew—Lily's eyes. They were very expressive if Orion allowed them to be. Now they were childlike and laughing as he twirled around with his grandmother. Sirius felt a strong desire to make sure that that happy unguarded look appeared more often.

A small pop announced the arrival of one of the house elves. "Misser Lupin has arrived for you Sir. Where does Sir like to receive his guest?"

"Bring him here. I want to introduce him to my…son. Afterwards we will go to the blue drawing room." It still sounded strange to his ears.

The elf popped away with a bow.

"Hey dad! What are you doing there lurking in the doorway?" Orion called. "Are you joining us or are you scared off by our awesome moves?"

Sirius entered. He wondered if there would come a point that it would feel natural to be called dad. He felt a pang in his heart when he saw the easy-going smile disappear from his grandmother's lips. "Remus is here," he said to break the tension.

"That's good. You two will have a lot to talk about," Orion said with a wide smile, though his eyes were now guarded.

He had asked Orion about Remus. Why hadn't he made contact with Moony? You shouldn't let my experiences of things that haven't happened or that never will, cloud your relationships. It was an admission that the other Moony had failed Orion in some major way without saying it out loud. Sirius appreciated the thought to let him repair his relationship on his own but it did make him wonder. Something he did a lot in regard to Orion.

"Introducing Misser Lupin for Milady and Sirs."

After greetings and introductions Sirius had taken Remus away. It was only when they were seated with a bottle of Ogden's between them that they really started talking.

"So a son…I bet that was quite the surprise... He looks like you," Remus started to make conversation. "Who is his mother?"

"She is dead and that's all I will say about it," Sirius replied, cutting off that line of questioning.

Remus didn't push the issue. "Your grandmother seems very taken with him."

Sirius barked a laugh. "She is, isn't she. I find it… disconcerting, to see her playing the doting grandmother."

Remus grinned in return. "It almost makes me doubt all those stories you told us about your family."

The moment of light-heartedness did not last long.

"You look a lot better already Sirius."

"They had a healer see me immediately after I arrived here. He gave me five different potions that I have to take twice a day for ten days." Sirius looked Remus over, perhaps for the first time registering his shabby appearance, the threadbare cloak and patched robes, his hair that was going grey, and the sunken cheeks that hadn't been there in the past. "You don't look too well either."

"The world still isn't fond of my little furry problem," Remus said with a self-deprecating smile. "Finding and holding work can be difficult. After the war was over they passed even more laws against werewolves. Without you and James I lost the case for my inheritance to my cousin, so had no place to live, no savings." Remus took a deep breath.

"Life was hard. After James and Lily…And then you and Peter—I was lost. I've been lost ever since that Halloween 1981. Then two weeks ago everyone was suddenly talking about you, debating if what Lord Black claimed was true. I…I suspected foul play by your family to get you out of Azkaban—Do you remember?" Remus tone turned pleading, willing Sirius to understand. "We were certain that there was a traitor among us in the order. I suspected you. I thought that family had won out over friends. Dumbledore swore that he saw you writing down down James and Lily's address and give it to him for the fidelius charm. Then how could it not be you? With Peter and those muggles death–And now…now…Can you forgive me?" Remus nursed his drink, unable to look Sirius in the eye.

Sirius too was looking at his drink swirling the amber liquid around in the glass. "A little muggle magic, a sleight of hand. I had hidden the parchment that Peter had written in my sleeve. The plan was to make everyone believe that I was the secret keeper while Peter would pass unnoticed, the truth was only to be known to the four of us, even Dumbledore was kept in the dark. Apparently the plan worked brilliantly, so brilliantly that I spend a decade in Azkaban." Sirius barked a humourless laugh before draining his glass and throwing it at the fireplace, where it shattered in a thousand pieces. "—IT WAS MY OWN BLOODY IDEA! I had thought it such a brilliant plan. After all who would suspect little, weak Peter. How pleased he must have been to be able to tell Voldemort exactly where James, Lily and Rose were—The little traitor—The rat. Perhaps we should always have known. He always liked to hang around his betters and his animagus form was even a rat."

Sirius let the anger drain from his body. "We suspected at the time you were the traitor. Voldemort was promising rights to the werewolf communities that the ministry would never grant. We thought you had succumbed to the temptation. We…I should be the one asking your forgiveness."

With an unspoken cue they both stood up and moved around the table before falling into each other's arms. "I'm sorry for everything Moony. Will you forgive me please?"

"I'm sorry too Padfoot and only if you'll forgive me for ever doubting you."

His eyes were prickling and his cheeks became wet. It took some time for them to let go of each other.

Sirius opened a window to let in some fresh air noticing the darting figure on a broom. "Moony, you should see this."

"Is that—"

"—Orion. Yes it is" He didn't know if it was pride or wonder he was feeling but watching Orion fly was something else. Sirius had joined him a few times in the air but he was passable at best on a broom. This talent must have come from James. Orion was James's son.

"He is brilliant," Remus said as they watched Orion pulling out of a straight down dive, the toes of his feet skimming the grass.

"He is fearless you mean," Sirius said grinning. "For sure he will be in Gryffindor."

They continued watching Orion's air acrobatics for a while.

"I have to ask Moony, how is Rose? Does she take more after Lily or James? I bet she is excited about going to Hogwarts in September. Though I have trouble believing that she could be happy with Lily's sister and her husband. The only time I met them was when we brought Benjy along to remove the memory from them that Lily's parents had been killed by deatheaters and instead made her and her husband believe they died with a car thingy but I remember Lily telling that her sister wanted nothing to do with magic, and that included Lily herself."

Remus blushed and averted his eyes. "I haven't seen her since she was a baby," he mumbled. "I didn't even know she was staying with Petunia. Like I told you earlier, I was a mess after everything that happened. It took me a while to get myself together. When I did, I went to professor Dumbledore. He assured me that Rose was safe and well taken care off on a secret location away from all the fame and attention that awaited her in the wizarding world. My knowing and visiting could even put her in more danger than she was already in. After all not all of you-know-who's followers were caught. I didn't press the issue too hard. After all, what did I have to offer her, a werewolf with nothing to his name."

Sirius chuckled. "Great pair of uncles we make. One gets himself framed and thrown in Azkaban and the other throws a decade long pity party for himself— I think it's time for us to reintroduce ourselves into her life."