hey everybody! i'm back to updating this bad boy lmao
sorry for the literal longest wait ever, school kind of murdered me a little bit and the semester only just ended! also didn't get much feedback last chapter and it made me kinda sad but there were some people who really liked this and wanted it continued so this is for those people! i love you with all my heart thank you for leaving me nice comments 3
anyway. I've been trying to write this for like two months and we FINALLY got it my guys so here it is!
there is also a scene where max fights with billy but fanfiction is very rude and won't let me put in any markers to warn whoever wants/needs to avoid where it is, so it starts when Max gets back from Lucas' and ends with Max running down the stairs
Max was standing in the forest on the edge of a road. Behind her was the smoking wreckage of her mom's car. Her head throbbed and her vision was blurry. Everything was dark, but she knew Dustin was around somewhere. This dream was the same every damn time.
Except… she couldn't find him.
"Dustin?" She called. "Where are you?" She wasn't expecting an answer, and she didn't get one, not really. She just felt something. Like she needed to go further into the trees.
So she went. It felt like endless darkness, cold and foggy and completely inescapable. There was no way out except forward; to wherever this tug was pulling her. She wandered for what seemed like hours, until she came across a field of flowers. It was much lighter here, not quite day but not the dark oppressiveness of the forest either. The flowers all looked like daffodils, their golden bells standing out in the tall grasses around them. Where was this?
"Max," came a voice. A voice she would not ever forget. Could not forget.
Max turned and there was Dustin, sitting down among the flowers looking completely unharmed and strangely at peace. She stood rooted in place.
"Come here, dude," he said, acting completely normal. As if this was a regular occurrence. As if she'd seen him not five minutes before. As if he hadn't been dead for the past year.
"Dustin?"
He gave her a look. "Uh yeah, do I look like someone else to you?"
God, the sarcasm. It was all there. It was as if he'd never left.
"Where am I?" She asked.
He shrugged. "Somewhere. I'm not really sure. I don't have the answers to everything, you know."
Max sat down in front of him, close enough to see and hear but not close enough to touch. She was afraid he might disappear if she tried to make this real. "But you're- you're dead."
"Yeah, I guess," he said casually. "I'm still around sometimes, you just can't see me. But I've checked up on everyone."
"So what you're saying is, you're a ghost?"
Dustin snorted. "No, I'm not a ghost. I'm just able to exist in small pieces in the people who remember me. I know what you've been through," he said quietly.
Max didn't reply. She didn't know what to say to him if this was really real, but this was just a dream, wasn't it? It couldn't be Dustin really here talking to her, but she felt strangely calm.
"Max, you need to forgive yourself," he continued. "You know it wasn't your fault that deer came out. You did what you had to do. Shit happens."
"I wouldn't say shit happens when it's life and death."
"Well, shit happened, didn't it? You can't be like this your whole life, and I know it's only been a year and it's hard but you have to let people in. That Lucas guy is cool."
Max looked up at him again. "You think so?"
"Yeah," said Dustin. "I'd be friends with him if I could. And the other two you met, too."
"You know about that?"
He rolled his eyes, and it was such a Dustin move that Max almost laughed. "I told you I've checked up on you. And you know what you have to do," he added.
"What, go back?"
Dustin looked at her and didn't say anything, but his message was clear.
"You think I need to go back there and fix whatever that was that I saw? What, he isn't going to come back to her if I don't go there? Dustin, that's changing history! What if he isn't meant to come back and I ruin everything?" She exclaimed.
"You already changed history the first time you went. You know it, Max. Just as much as you know that I would never have blamed you for what happened to me," he said. "You have to leave me behind. I'm part of your past now, not your future. If you can't let me go, you're never going to be able to move forward. And the only way through is forward."
Dustin's voice seemed to be fading a little, even though he still looked solid. Max could feel herself waking up. She was becoming conscious of her bedsheets against her skin.
"I think I'm waking up," she said.
"You are," he replied. "Just think about what I told you." He got up and started to move away.
"Hey, wait!" Called Max. "Is this real? Or am I dreaming?"
Dustin smiled at her, and suddenly bright light broke through the sky above the field. "People and places are always much more connected to their pasts than they ever think they are."
Max sat up in her bed with a gasp, heart racing. Her room was mostly dark, but sunrise was coming over the horizon. Had she died and been resurrected? Whatever the hell was going on since she moved into this house was one freaky thing after another.
She rose from bed with shaky legs and looked out the window. There was nothing of note except a weird fog over the fields in the distance. The house felt cold and silent.
Max padded down to the kitchen, rubbing her arms over the thin fabric of her pajamas. It was Saturday and it was way too early for anyone else to be awake, but she knew she wasn't going back to sleep. Not after that dream. Had it been a dream?
She reached into a cupboard for a bowl and then poured herself some cereal and milk and sat at the table in the gloom of early morning. It only made sense for it to have been a dream, but at the same time it had felt so real. Max had felt like it was really Dustin there speaking to her, and with all the other strange occurrences lately, maybe the idea that it really had been him wasn't so farfetched.
As she ate her breakfast, Max decided that even if he was just a figment of her imagination, she agreed with what he'd said. She was going to go back and try to fix what she'd seen. The root cellar had seemed to call to her since the day she'd moved in, and she had to be seeing those apparitions for a reason. Something needed to be changed. She needed to talk to Eleanora Ives. Maybe dream-Dustin was right and she would be able to find closure, somehow.
Either way, Max wasn't going to show up in the past in sleepwear. Her pajamas weren't much different from the clothes she usually wore, but those clothes had caused a stir the last time she'd been seen and she wanted to appear less conspicuous in case she came across someone she hadn't met yet. It was more than likely since the only person that would probably be there that already knew her would be El. Her mind made up, Max crept back up the stairs as quietly as she could and started to rifle through her closet.
She didn't have almost any dresses and the ones she did were definitely too short, but Max unearthed an old pair of overalls she suspected her grandmother had made for her and that she had never worn. They were made of a light blue cotton and the straps closed with buttons instead of buckles. She figured they would probably make her look enough like she belonged on a farm to be passable at first glance. She threw them on over a button-up she had hanging on her chair and went back downstairs to find an old pair of laced boots she knew she had lying around somewhere. She remembered putting them in the downstairs closet when she'd unpacked most of her clothes.
Determinedly, Max went outside, grabbing a jacket just in case it was winter again in the past. She knew the cellar only worked when the doors were split in half by shadows, but she had figured out which tree it was that cast the shadow and it was directly between the cellar doors. Therefore, it should cast a shadow splitting the doors twice a day, on opposite sides. She could only hope which side wouldn't matter. As she approached it, she could see the rising sun starting to lengthen the shade around the root cellar and decided to take a walk around the house while she waited for it to hit the right spot.
As she walked, she rubbed her arms to fight off the chill. September hadn't gotten super cold yet, but it was nearing October and it was early morning. There was still dew on the grass, wetting the hems of Max's overalls as she watched the morning fog burn away in the coming sunlight. She wondered if she should wait until the afternoon and go talk to Lucas before she did anything, but then decided really, she had been the one to discover this situation and it wasn't like she needed anybody else's permission to do what she wanted. Lucas could wait.
Eventually the shadows were close enough that Max stopped in front of the doors in anticipation, waiting for the right moment. As soon as it hit she opened the doors and dropped a foot in, then looked back at the house. Still no visible movement. A breeze stirred her hair and she descended the rest of the way, closing the doors over her head and encasing herself in darkness. She stood for a few minutes, straining to hear anything.
Suddenly, there was a loud thumping noise outside, as if someone had dropped something nearby, and Max felt a surge of excitement. Had it worked?
"Miss Holly, please!" Called an exasperated voice, and Max recognized it immediately as El's. It had worked! But now there was the question: who was Miss Holly? Clearly someone else was outside, so Max decided to stay in the cellar and hope no one needed to enter it.
"Your mother is waiting for you!" Came El's voice again.
"I don't want to go!" Answered another girl. She sounded younger. "I hate getting fitted!"
El's voice faded as if she was walking further away. "You've outgrown your nicest dress and you'll be needing one if you want to go…"
Max went up the steps quickly, straining to hear anything else from the top without actually going outside and revealing herself. She was probably going to startle El anyway, as time had clearly not passed in the same way for her as it had for Max. Max could hear indistinct voices and then what sounded like it might have been a horse, followed by a strange rumbling noise. A wagon maybe? Were they going to town? Her plans would be shot if El was leaving for the day.
A few excruciatingly long moments of silence later, during which all Max could hear was her own laboured breathing as she tried her hardest to stay quiet, she heard footsteps in the grass again and a short grunt as whoever it was picked something up. Was it El? It had seemed like it was her who dropped something earlier. She waited a little longer, giving the person time to walk away, before she eased one door open and peeked out.
It was sunny again, and definitely not winter this time. Down by the side of the house, Max saw the now familiar long skirts swishing back and forth as El bent over a basket of clothes, getting ready to hang them on the line. Her hair was up now instead of in the braid Max had seen her with before. Relief filled her. Hopefully the other residents of the house had gotten far enough that she wouldn't be exposing herself to new people.
Max went the rest of the way up the wooden steps, closing the cellar door behind her and treading cautiously over to the clothesline. She was nervous. Would El remember her?
She swallowed down a lump in her throat and forced herself to speak. "El?"
The other girl whipped around suddenly, holding an arm protectively across her body. Her eyes widened as they landed on Max.
"Max!" She exclaimed. "You're back?!"
Max shrugged awkwardly. "Yeah…"
"What happened?" El asked, throwing the shirt she'd been holding back into the basket. "I never saw you after you went to town with Mike that day. He told me you disappeared."
Max hesitated. "Did he really believe I was from the future?"
El frowned and moved away from the basket, her skirt fluttering around her ankles as she moved to sit in the shade by the wall. Max followed, unsure what to expect. El clasped her hands in her lap.
"He said he wasn't sure how it was possible but that he didn't think you were a liar," she answered. "Is that where you went? Home?"
Max nodded. "I kept trying to come back but it took me so long to figure out how. It was nearly two weeks before I got it."
"Two weeks!" Cried the other girl. "It's been two years since I last saw you!"
Max started in surprise. She knew it had been some time, obviously, but two years? "So you're nineteen now?"
"Nearly," El replied. "My birthday isn't until the beginning of May."
Maybe the advance in age explained the difference Max found in El's face. She couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but she thought the other girl looked different, somehow.
She cleared her throat. "I was here another time," she said quietly. "You didn't see me."
El looked at her curiously. "When?"
"I'm not sure, honestly," she responded. "It was winter, and I heard you and Mike arguing. Then he left."
El's face fell immediately and Max regretted bringing it up. This was clearly a sore topic, and it had been a private conversation. "That was January," she said. "He's a soldier now."
"Have you heard from him?" Max asked gingerly.
El's hands tightened almost imperceptibly. "He wrote me once," she said darkly.
Max furrowed her brows. "Only once? Wow." So much for his declaration of love, then.
El looked angry for a moment, but then Max watched as her expression crumpled. "I don't know what's happened, Max," she said in a pleading tone. "The war's already over and I don't know where he is. I don't know anything."
Max's heart hurt for her, and even though she barely knew El she reached out to her as the other girl started to cry. It could not be easy to imagine that the person she most cared about (Boyfriend? Beau? Was he her fiancé or something?) might be dead. Max could relate. Dustin had never filled any sort of romantic position in her life as Mike clearly did for El, but he was her most trusted person and one she could not have ever imagined losing until she did. She knew what it was like.
She let El unload her emotions before speaking, rubbing her back the whole time. "We don't know that's something's happened to him," she assured. "The post isn't good even in 1987, I would think it's even more shitty right now. We can go find him."
El removed herself from Max's arms slowly, lifting her apron to wipe her face with it. "Do you think we'd manage it?" She sniffed.
Max shrugged. "It's not like he went to Africa or something. He's still on the same soil as us. We can find him."
El sniffed again. "How?"
A plan was already taking shape in Max's head. This was what she was meant to come here for, she just knew it. "We can go to the city and look for information on where he might've gone after enlisting," she suggested. She felt a strange sense of deja vu and almost heard Lucas' voice whispering in her mind. She sounded exactly like he had when he'd taken charge of the direction of their investigation.
"I can't leave right now," El protested, sitting up fully. "The missus will be upset if I up and disappear while she's gone."
"Of course," Max reassured her. "I'll go home and get some stuff and then come back, and you can get yourself ready here."
El furrowed her brows. "How do we stop the time from passing? It was two years since last I saw you for me, but only two weeks for you."
Max was stumped. El had a point. "I don't know."
They sat in silence as they thought. "Maybe…" Started El. She frowned, unsure.
"What?" Asked Max.
"What if we traded something with each other? Something important?" El suggested.
Max nodded slowly. "You think if each of us has something that doesn't belong to our time, it'll keep us in sync?"
El nodded her agreement as she lifted herself off the ground. "I'll get something from inside."
She hurried off in the direction of the kitchen door and Max followed but remained on the porch. What did she have to exchange? The only thing she could think of was her watch, which she wasn't sure she wanted to let go of.
It was a child's watch, baby pink with a Minnie Mouse backing, and she'd received it as a joke. Dustin had given it to her on her fourteenth birthday, and it was one of the few things she had to remember him by. But if this would work…
El returned a few moments later holding a small brown object. When she handed it over, Max saw that it was a little cow carved out of wood. "My father carved this for me when I was a child," she said carefully. "It's how I remember him."
With that admission, Max decided she could entrust El with her watch. El took it slowly, examining it in confusion.
"It's a small clock," Max offered. "My best friend gave it to me."
"What is that… creature?"
Even in such a somber moment, El looked so confused at the sight of Minnie Mouse that Max had to smile. "She's a mouse."
"Did the person who made this ever see a mouse?!"
Max shrugged. "Maybe not. Anyway," she said, diverting the conversation back to their plan, "I'm gonna go, and I'll be back when the sun sets. What do you think we'll need?"
El thought it over. "Blankets, if you have them," she said finally. "It's alright during the day, but nights are still cold this time of year. And some food or water if you can spare it. I don't have too much money to be spending."
Max nodded and was turning away to make her way back to the root cellar when El grabbed her arm.
"Are you sure about this?" She asked.
Max looked at her. El looked nervous, but determined. "I came here for a reason," she answered. "I need to be here. I have to help you."
El released her arm and stepped back. "I'll bring some clothes for you. Don't leave the cellar until I come, I don't want the missus to see you."
Max agreed and El let her go down to the cellar, watching from the back porch until Max was out of sight.
Max gathered some blankets and grabbed as much food as she thought she could get away with without anyone noticing, packing all of it into an old carpet bag her mom had stored in the hall closet. Then she took it outside and left it in the cellar, finally settling on the back porch steps with a book she was supposed to be reading for her English class. She was going to go see Lucas, but it would have to wait until later.
When her mom saw her sitting outside reading she looked pleased, and Max faked a smile in her direction. She was retaining absolutely none of what she was reading. Billy, on the other hand, was passive aggressive with her all morning and Max wasn't sure why. Neil was in a strangely good mood, so that couldn't be why Billy was mad. She chose to ignore him.
Late in the afternoon, Max walked back into the kitchen from where she'd been lying in the yard trying to read after lunch, grabbing Mrs. Sinclair's cookie plate with a word to her mom about going to return it. She decided to walk through the wooded area that separated the two houses, enjoying the dappled sunlight that streamed through the trees. It reminded her of older times, when there weren't so many cars and tall buildings all over the place, when people were more connected to nature. There were definitely benefits to the twentieth century, but now that she'd visited the nineteenth, she knew it wasn't all ugly and backwards either. To be honest, the town she lived in hadn't changed all that much in the last 120 years, so she didn't feel as scared about going back as she might have. And she wouldn't be alone.
Coming back out of the trees into the warm sun, Max could see the Sinclair house in the distance. It was more towards the front of the lot than her house was, so she still had a bit to walk before she got there.
There was no one outside but the front of the house looked inviting and homey. Someone had put up hanging flowers all around the top of the porch, and there were more on the railings. They'd die soon, but for the moment they made Max smile. She rang the doorbell and stood back.
The door opened to reveal a young girl, about twelve or thirteen, who looked at Max as if she were an alien. "Who're you?"
Max faltered. "Uh, I'm your new neighbour? Your brother brought some cookies from your mom by yesterday and I came to return the plate."
The girl rolled her eyes. "Lucas! Your girlfriend's here!" She screamed into the house. Max didn't hear a response and didn't know what to say to that either. "He's coming," said the girl snarkily. "I'm Erica."
Max reached out with her free hand to shake Erica's. "I'm Max. It's nice to meet you."
Erica smirked. "I know. He talks about you all the time, that's why my mom made cookies. We didn't know we were getting neighbours."
"Oh, uh-" Max stuttered again, but just at that moment Lucas arrived at the door, saving her from having to reply.
"Go away, Erica," he said shortly, glaring at his sister before smiling at Max. Erica walked away with another roll of her eyes and a sigh. "Sorry about her."
Max smiled back. "It's okay, she's funny."
He leaned against the doorframe and raised his eyes to the ceiling for a second in exasperation. "Not if you live with her, she isn't."
Max cleared her throat. "Anyway, I… came to bring back your plate," she said, holding it out.
Lucas took it and looked away for a moment before meeting her gaze again. "Was that… everything?" He asked, and there was something in his tone that she couldn't place.
"No, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about," she answered in a rush. "But not here."
Lucas' eyes widened. "Okay, let me go give this back to my mom. I'll be back in a second."
He returned moments later and joined Max outside, shutting the door behind him before walking off the porch. Once they were further out into the yard, a good distance away from the house, he turned to her.
"Alright, so what is it?"
Max took a deep breath before starting. "I went back yesterday. And again this morning."
"Like, back back? You saw them again?" Lucas asked. He sounded shocked.
She nodded. "It has to do with a shadow. I don't know why, but that's how it works."
Lucas nodded slowly. "Kinda weird, but also kinda cool."
Max didn't say anything for a moment, wondering how to tell him her plan without him thinking she was crazy. Then again, he hadn't thought she was crazy the first time. "Yesterday, it was winter and I saw them fighting. Then he left her."
"I thought they got married?"
"We don't know that. It's definitely a coincidence, but those hankies could've belonged to anyone, Lucas," she replied. "Then this morning I had a really weird dream and I decided I needed to go back and talk to the girl. When I went back it wasn't winter anymore, and apparently the guy's been MIA for months."
Lucas crossed his arms as they walked, looking pensive. "This is all so weird."
"You're saying that," Max grumbled, and then grinned when Lucas lightly shoved her, smiling. Tucking her hands into her pockets, she continued. "Anyway, I said I would help her find him. I'm going back again tonight."
At that, Lucas stopped walking. "You're going back to help her? So like, for more than a few hours?"
"Yes."
"Are you actually insane?" He asked. "A few hours is one thing, but you'll be gone for weeks! You'll be considered missing!"
"No, I won't!" Max defended. "I told you, whenever I go the time isn't affected at all here. I don't know why but… it'll be fine."
Lucas looked unconvinced. "I don't think this is a good idea."
"I packed some blankets and water and food, and she'll have more," Max insisted. "We'll be fine. He's either dead or alive, it can't take that long to find one person."
Lucas shook his head. "You're crazy," he said. "Promise you'll be safe."
"You're not gonna stop me?"
He simply stared at her, and Max suddenly had the feeling that she'd known Lucas for a lot longer than she actually had. "Nothing I say will change your mind. Just be safe."
"Thank you," she breathed, jumping forward to hug him. "For believing me."
Lucas stepped back and squeezed her arm, giving her a single nod, before turning back to his house. Max went into the trees.
When she got home, the house was strangely silent. Her mom and Neil must have gone out. For that matter, maybe Billy did too and she wouldn't have to avoid anyone when she went into the cellar later. The moment she landed on the second floor, however, the door to Billy's room flew open, banging against the wall.
"Where have you been?" He asked quietly. His eyes were crazed, and there was a dangerous edge to his voice.
Max took a step back, towards the door to their parents' room. "I went to give a plate back to the neighbours."
Billy clapped his hands, a demented smile forming on his face. "Are you sure about that?" He asked, taking a menacing step forward.
"Why do you care?" She returned. Billy was always weird and aggressive for no reason, but he'd never actually freaked her out like he was now.
He laughed. "Oh, Max," he said loftily, as if he knew something she didn't, "You think you can hide from me?"
He kept walking forward and Max kept stepping backward, running into the door of the bedroom behind her. She had no escape.
"I think you've been hanging around with that boy," he continued. "Who is he? Your little boyfriend?"
"What?"
"You think I didn't see?!" He roared. He was so close Max could feel his breath on her face. "That kid who came over yesterday, talking to you in the yard like he owns the place!"
"I don't know him!" Max yelled back. "He's the neighbour, and he's just some kid from my class, Billy, leave me alone!"
Billy slammed his hands against the door on either side of her head, trapping her. "You think you can lie to me? We don't associate with those people!"
Max was scared, but she wouldn't let Billy see that if it was the last thing she did. She glared at him. "What do you mean, those people?"
"I don't want to see you speaking to him ever again, you hear me?" He threatened.
"Or what?" Max retorted. "Since when can you tell me what to do?"
Billy slammed his hands on the door again. "Listen to me, Max," he said dangerously. "If I see you talking to him again, you'll both regret it."
He started to back away, but Max wasn't done making her opinion known. Billy wasn't going to get away with talking to her like this. "You're just jealous I can make friends and live my life while your sorry ass still has to mooch off your dad! Aren't you twenty one? Why do you still live here if you hate us all so much? Fucking leave, then!"
At that, Billy flew into a rage, grabbing Max by the arms and throwing her forcefully into the door. Her head smacked hard against it, blurring her vision for a second, but that didn't impede Billy from snarling in her ear.
"You don't fucking talk to me like that, Maxine!" He yelled. "Or do you want him to end up like your other dead little friend? Huh? Is that what you want?!"
"Stop it!" She screamed, and then doubled over when he punched her in the stomach.
"Shut up, you stupid bitch," he spat, punching her again and sending her to her knees.
Max was reeling. Billy had never behaved this way toward her before and she didn't know what to do. He was bigger than her, hitting back wouldn't hurt him.
He started to back away again, but Max, seeing an opportunity, grabbed his ankle and pulled hard, sending Billy crashing to the floor. He hit the stair railings and howled in anger.
Max scrambled to her feet, her head pounding and the muscles of her abdomen still aching where she'd been punched, lunging for a vase that stood on the credenza near the stairs.
"You little whore!" Billy screamed, starting to get up, and it was now or never. He might actually kill her, or something. Max lobbed the vase at his head, watching as it shattered over him and he dropped back to the floor. She stalked over to him and kicked him in the groin to make sure he'd stay down. She didn't regret it one bit.
"You leave me and my friends alone, do you understand?" She hissed.
Billy groaned and Max pressed the toe of her boot into his nose. "Say you understand!"
He groaned out a slow "I understand," and Max quickly moved away from him, headed towards the stairs. She nearly flew down them in her escape, jumping off the last two and sprinting out the back door. It wasn't quite sunset yet, but it would be soon. She'd hide in the bushes and hope Billy wouldn't find her.
A few minutes later, Max heard music coming faintly from the house. Billy must have gotten up and gone back into his room. He had to be blasting it for her to hear it all the way by the cellar. It made her feel less tense. If he was in there, he wasn't likely to come out soon; it would've been much more ominous if the silence had continued.
Still, Max stayed hidden just in case, keeping an eye on the cellar doors for her moment. It arrived before long and she tumbled out of the bushes in her haste to get inside. The familiar smell of the dirt walls and floor greeted her, raising her spirits. She would soon be somewhere where Billy could never get to her.
As usual, she didn't feel anything that indicated her travel, but she remembered El's warning to stay in the cellar until she came. Max had said she would return at sundown, so El had to be by soon.
Max waited down there in the dark for what felt like forever, growing more and more worried that the cellar hadn't worked its magic for whatever reason. Maybe she could only make one visit per day and she'd already used it up that morning. After all, she still wasn't entirely sure how or why it all worked. But then, out of nowhere as Max hadn't heard footsteps approaching, the doors opened above her. The silhouette of another woman appeared to her, and then El's face peered through the gloom.
"Come on," she said, offering a hand. "We don't have all night."
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