Character ages: Levi - 28/29; Natalie - 23/24; Karl - 28/29; Erwin - 33/34; Hange - 25/26; Eld, Gunther - 23/24; Petra, Oluo - 20/21
Alright, so as always my lovelies, go ahead and enjoy this chapter and don't forget to toss me a little review, to let me know what you think~ ;)
P.S. All Attack on Titan characters belong to Isayama Hajime. I only own my OCs.
5. What you'll regret least
~ 847 ~
The bright, sunny day had long since lost its good omen meaning for Levi, as he rode towards the other side of the forest where he and the others were to meet Erwin and the rest of the Scouts. Natalie's body weighed heavily in his arms, and yet it didn't come even close to the heaviness crushing his chest. Eld had offered to be the one to carry the girl, but he had refused and only allowed the others to handle her horse.
'Why...?' he questioned himself for the hundredth time. 'Why can't I protect anyone around me? Is this really all I amount to?'
His self-admonishing was only interrupted by the sight of the Scouts waiting for them just outside the tree line. Damn it, he didn't want to see or talk to anyone! On that thought he veered off the road at the last minute, ignoring everyone's calls. Leaving the forest further down the line he headed for one of the covered carts they had brought along, bringing the girl inside to lay her down. It wasn't long before the sound of voices outside, though distant, pulled him out of his thoughts just in time to hear footsteps running over. In moments the sliver of light coming from outside was blotted out, and Levi looked up to see the one person he hadn't wanted to talk to just yet. Moving back to sit on the bench while Karl rushed over to his sister, he debated whether to leave the man to mourn alone. And yet... though they weren't friends, though they hadn't spoken more than a handful of times... he couldn't.
He had known it was coming, but it still made him clench his jaw when Karl broke down in sobs, desperately hugging the girl's body. At some point the elder sibling had gone quiet and buried his face into her bloodstained hair, only the tremors racking his body showing that he was still crying. Levi couldn't have ever said how long he sat there, watching the scene like in a trance.
Such a simple, yet so striking a picture of all humanity amounted to...
It didn't matter how much they struggled, how bravely they fought, how well they planned. At the end of the day, all they were left with was death and sorrow.
"Captain..." Petra called softly from outside before poking her head in. "Commander Erwin says we're returning to the Wall; as soon as we recover all the bodies we can find. He said that another pack hit the right flank and we also have several wounded that need medical attention."
"Not now."
"He wants a report of what happened—"
"He'll get his fucking report when we get back!" the man snapped. "I don't want to see him right now!"
He knew he should have gone to talk to Erwin, but in that moment he was afraid he might have punched the man rather than talk to him.
"I'll tell him you need a bit of time alone." the woman nodded, seemingly understanding his thoughts.
With her leave, Karl finally seemed to pull himself together with a deep breath even though his eyes were red and still full of tears as he set his sister back down. He had expected the man to question him regarding the girl's death, or to be angry that he had let her die. But all Karl did was to briefly grasp his shoulder, before leaving the carriage to return to his duties.
=0=0=
What... was that place? She wasn't really sure what she had expected to see after dying – if anything – but it certainly hadn't been that. At first she glanced around at the emptiness stretching to infinity in all directions, then up to the dark, starless sky. A thud behind her had her whirling around and instinctively stepping back, at the sight of an odd looking Titan standing only a few steps away from her. Its female shape was something she had never seen or heard of before, when people described those creatures. And yet, though her body had moved on reflex, she didn't feel scared.
There was something so human in its eyes that – when the Titan lowered itself onto one knee – curiosity made her want to go closer. And when she did, the creature picked her up as carefully as one would pick up a baby... and still she didn't feel scared. Even when the Titan enclosed her between its palms, plunging her into a warm, comfortable darkness – she wasn't scared.
"Can you hear me?"
She couldn't tell how long she had floated in that serene nothingness, her mind empty of all thought until she heard that soft voice call out to her. When she opened her eyes the Titan was gone, and in its place was... herself? She looked a bit older, but there was no mistaking it – it was almost like looking into a mirror.
"What... what is this?" she asked with a trembling breath.
Behind her mirror image she could see what looked like a very distant tree made of light, one of its branches extending to pass through the figure's chest. Following its path, she looked down only to realize the thread was connecting both of them.
"Don't be scared, you're not going crazy." the other one said. "It would take too long to explain, but for now just know that you and I are the same."
"Forgive me... for failing to protect you..."
The sound of Levi's voice echoing faintly startled both of them, and the sorrow she could see on the figure's face was mirrored in the painful squeeze of her own heart.
"I'll come to you again when I can. Just remember that you have to do things differently this time. You have to change it; you have to stop it... you can save them. Armin... Reiner... Annie... you have to save them all. But you have to change it. You have to change him."
"Who...?" she asked, but the figure no longer responded only turning around to walk away. "Hey... wait!"
=0=0=
Left alone with her again, Levi had eventually moved to sit on the floor next to her body.
"I told you not to be a damn hero..." he said, reaching down to smooth out her bangs and push them aside. "What will you amount to, now that you're dead? Was it worth it, coming out here to die?"
Had she at least felt even a bit free, out there? Had she at least died with the satisfaction of having left the Walls? Was she finally truly free, now? Was this the only freedom any of them could hope for?
"Forgive me... for failing to protect you..." he whispered, tracing his thumb back and forth along her forehead.
He was just about to stand and go get his water canteen to clean the blood off her, when he was left staring at her in shock. Was... was he seeing things? He could swear that was a tear trailing down from the corner of her eye. But more than that it suddenly hit him – in a mixture of relief and horror – that she might have still been alive all that time.
"Natalie..." he called out hesitantly, not really wanting to believe his own instinct.
How could she still be alive? He had felt the extensive damage with his own hands. And yet when he leaned over her to call her again, he unmistakably heard her.
"Wa...it..."
It was barely even a whisper, but there was no way he was imagining it.
"Levi... don't go... wait..."
As much as he was happy and relieved that she was alive, as inexplicable as that was, the deep sorrow in her tone was strange.
"Don't go..." she called out again, fresh tears spilling from beneath her eyelids. "Wait... for me..."
Finally it registered that she was calling for him, and he reached out to grab her hand.
"Natalie... hey, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
When she didn't react, only repeatedly begging him to not go, he reached down to clasp her face in his hands.
"Hey, Natalie!" he called out. 'Please... just open your eyes...'
Whether it was his words or his touch, he didn't know, but at last she opened her eyes with a deep breath. When she managed to focus on him, she blinked repeatedly as though coming out of a daze.
"Captain..." she whispered. "What was I... just now...?"
His expression was something she had never seen before; a mixture of stunned confusion and relief, that left her puzzled. Was she... not dead? When he removed his hands she finally realized he had been cradling her head between them. And yet the next moment she felt him grabbing at her torso, his hands tracing down her sides and his fingers digging into her flesh as if he was counting her ribs.
"C-Captain... what are you do—?" she gasped while blushing furiously, only silenced by the unsettled look in his eyes.
"How? You... how is this possible? You had no more ribs..." he blurted out, looking utterly confused.
~ oOo ~
"Captain... I can do this myself, you know..."
Unimpressed by her protest or her pouting, Levi only poured a bit more water onto the cloth. Grabbing her chin to hold her in place, he started rubbing the dried blood off her skin.
"So you really don't remember anything else?"
After Karl had nearly killed her again in a smothering hug, and the rest of her team had piled on top of them; after Hange had also squeezed the life out of her in both joy and gratitude for her earlier act; after Levi had finally convinced them that she still needed to recover, she had told him about what she had seen and heard prior to waking up, giving as many details as she could recall.
"I wish I did..." she sighed. "I'm pretty sure everything I saw after I blacked out was just some fever dream or something. At least I looked pretty good when I was older."
"Idiot..." he retorted, though she could swear a corner of his lips had twitched towards a smile. "Here I am, thinking you're dead, and you feel like cracking jokes."
That, however, still didn't explain how her ribs had magically healed. He could have chucked it up to him not thinking clearly in the moment; to him getting the wrong impression from what he had felt while holding her. But his intuition insisted that it had all been real... that she truly had had all her ribs shattered by that Titan. And yet he had just felt her ribcage a couple minutes earlier, finding no damage whatsoever.
"So?" he finally asked again, deciding to set that mystery aside for now. "How did you find your way out?"
"I... uh..." she stammered, turning her eyes away given that he was still holding her head in place. "I heard... um, your voice..."
"Is that so?"
"Yes... you um... asked me to forgive you..."
Why was she even telling him that? That would accomplish nothing, except creating an awkward feeling between them.
"I think... she said something else to me after that, but I can't remember it clearly." she continued, hoping to distract him from her previous statements. "Just something about... changing someone... or saving someone... then she walked away and I saw..."
At that she suddenly went silent, realizing that the one she had seen in the brief flash of an image just before waking up, was Levi. Everything about the environment was blurry in her mind; but she could clearly picture him even now, holding her in his arms and he was... kissing her?
"Thank you... for everything."
Where... had she heard that before? She knew he had never said that to her, so then why did it sound so familiar?
"Do I even want to know what you saw, given how you're blushing?"
His inquiry startled her into looking back at him, only for her face to redden even deeper. Sighing in the face of her odd reaction, he turned back to pour some more water on the cloth.
"You know, when I call you an idiot I don't always mean it. But if you're about to tell me you had some perverted dream of me while you were on the verge of dying, you might just prove me right."
He had just set the canteen down when the sound of her giggle startled him.
"Please never joke about that again, Captain..." she replied. "I like to think that if I ever did have such a dream about you, I wouldn't make it so obvious."
"At least you still got that sharp tongue on you." he huffed, grabbing her chin again to clean her other cheek.
"I thought you didn't like my sharp tongue..." she pouted at being treated like a child.
"Idiot... why else would I let you get away with it, every time?"
"I don't know... why would you?"
"Don't push your luck with me." the young man retorted, flicking her forehead once he had finished.
Handing her the canteen, he then stood thinking to go rid himself of the bloodied rag.
"Drink and then lie back down. We'll need to have a doctor look at you when we get back." he instructed the girl, moving to leave only to have her grab his sleeve.
"Thank you..." she smiled, hesitating as she debated how childish it would seem if she asked him to not leave her alone.
'Idiot... you're so easy to read.' he contemplated for a moment before plopping that same hand onto her head. "I'll come back to sit with you."
~ oOo ~
Two months since her miraculous comeback, Natalie had become so peculiar in her habits that Karl was starting to worry. Sure, his sister had always been very introverted but this was taking it to a whole other level. And he could swear sometimes he had caught her talking to herself. Like she was doing just then, as he watched her sitting under a tree, mumbling to herself – or maybe she was talking to the flower she had been twirling between her fingers.
"Hey..." he called out, finally deciding to approach her about it.
It was only for a split second, but when she looked up he froze in his tracks; whoever that was looking back at him, was not his sister. But then she blinked a couple times, like coming out of a daze, and he saw full awareness returning to her gaze.
"Karl... what is it?" she asked as softly as she had ever addressed him.
Trying his best to keep his expression in check, he moved to sit next to her wrapping an arm about her shoulders.
"How are you feeling?"
"Geez, you're still asking that?" she sighed with a resigned smile. "It's been two months, give it a rest. I'm perfectly healthy."
"That's... not really what I meant..." he replied hesitantly, garnering her full attention. "I'm not trying to imply anything, but if there's anything you want to talk about... Nat, you've changed since that day. I'm worried."
His words left her staring at him in a way that unsettled him, before she eventually lowered her head.
"I'm alright..."
"I know when you're lying. You're anything but alright. You're so withdrawn now; you talk to yourself... hell the only one who can get a full conversation out of you these days, is Captain Levi."
"You have to keep it a secret for now." her other self's words resounded in her head at his plea. "If you want any chance to save everyone, they can't know until it's the right time."
How could she ever tell them that she had become the very monster they had vowed to eradicate? Who would ever believe her? And if she showed them, what would ever stop them from killing her? Her family would be covered in shame, her friends would turn on her, and Levi... he would just outright hate her. Her other self had tried reassuring her that it wouldn't happen but she couldn't see how it wouldn't.
"Please don't ask anymore..." she at last replied.
Who would ever believe her if she told them she could see glimpses of the future? That the few dreams she'd had since that day, were more than just dreams. But more than anything, how could she ever be accepted into their society when she wasn't even human anymore? She had resolved herself to not seek any of that any longer; to not seek acceptance, or friendship, or love. She was determined to do the duty that had been entrusted to her along with her power, or die trying. Or so she kept telling herself...
But then she felt Karl shifting next to her and she was fully wrapped in his embrace, her eyes stinging as she teared up. She had expected him to scold her, to tell her she was acting like a brat and to grow up. And then she realized he hadn't hugged her like that since the day she had graduated from boot camp. That they hadn't really spent any length of time together, like they used to as children, and that she had missed him terribly over the years.
"Alright, I won't ask..." he said, and his voice was so impossibly gentle that she couldn't stop herself from latching onto him to try and hide her tears. "You can tell me whenever you feel ready to talk. Just... don't forget your big brother's always got your back. Whatever you're going through, I'll always be there to support you. I'll always defend you, no matter what you do, no matter what anyone says. You're my sister and I love you; and nothing will ever change that."
Having eventually left Natalie to herself, after spending some time listening to how much more at home she felt with the Survey Corps, the older Dietrich sibling had gone off in search of the one person who seemed able to get any information out of her anymore. Finding Levi alone in the mess hall, enjoying his daily cup of tea, he walked over drawing the young Captain's attention almost instantly.
"I was wondering if I could have a minute of your time, Captain."
When Levi nodded, he took up the nearest seat and inhaled deeply trying to think of how to approach the issue.
"I was just curious; is my sister... getting along with the rest of your team?"
"If you want to know how Natalie's doing on the team, you can just ask Erwin to show you my reports." the man replied, sipping at his tea. "Now what's this really about?"
"I apologize for trying to skirt around the problem. It's just not an easy one to talk about." Karl sighed. "I was wondering... if you could tell me what really happened that day in the forest."
"I already gave you all the details, didn't I?"
Well... except for the fact that he was sure her ribs had been crushed, and then somehow miraculously healed. That he hadn't mentioned in his report, or to any of his team. Then there was the matter of what she had told him in the carriage. He didn't know why, but it just seemed like a terrible mistake to tell anyone about it.
"Yes, I just... I'm worried. She's changed so much since then. She's always been quiet, but now it's ridiculous. And she's always either staring off into space, or talking to herself. I tried talking to her about it just now, but there's no way I can get through to her."
When Karl raised his eyes to look at him, Levi could already guess what was coming even before the man spoke.
"Please, Captain... you're the only one she'll talk to, anymore."
At first Levi only released a long breath, turning back to his tea without replying. He too had noticed those changes in her, no matter how she tried to keep up appearances around everyone. If he hadn't tried to interrogate her on the matter yet, it was only because he had figured Karl had already done it.
"If she didn't tell you, why do you think she'll talk to me? You're her brother and I'm just a stranger."
In the face of his answer Karl hesitated at first, pondering whether or not it was a good idea to reveal what he had noticed in his sister ever since she had joined. But, desperate times called for desperate measures and if Karl had learned anything in the Survey Corps, it was how to make important choices in a heartbeat.
"Because she loves you."
The lack of hesitation in his tone left Levi staring into his cup in stunned silence. But when he turned his eyes to Karl, he found that the man's expression matched his voice. Yes, he'd had his suspicions based on his experience with reading people – and Natalie was incredibly easy to read sometimes. But to have it confirmed with such surety still caught him off guard.
"I know you probably don't believe me, but I doubt anyone knows my sister better than I do. What she feels for you goes beyond just admiration and respect; I'm sure of it. If you need any more proof the fact that she still talks to you at length, but not to me or anyone else, should be enough. I know I'm asking a lot, and that I shouldn't drag you into our family issues like this. But please... I can't help her if I don't know what's wrong with her."
He refused to believe Levi didn't care about her; not after he had seen how much attention the man afforded her, especially since the accident. He didn't know whether the Captain's feelings were romantic to any degree, or if he too saw Natalie as a younger sister. All he knew for sure was that Levi was the only one who could still get her to talk.
"Alright... I'll find the right moment to talk to her." Levi finally replied, finding it unsettling as to how easily he had agreed.
~ oOo ~
~ 848 ~
The year had just begun for a few days, and the unusually heavy snowfalls were still keeping the Survey Corps from going out on expeditions. By now, even the most optimistic of soldiers were missing the thrill of fighting Titans, being stuck in the old castle which served as their occasional headquarters. With nothing to do except train and chop trees for firewood, the isolation was slowly starting to get to everyone after just three weeks.
Erwin had informed them that morning that they would have to wait until the storms passed, before attempting to clear the road towards Ehrmich District. Fortunately they had gone there with the intention of staying for a longer period of time, thus for now they had enough supplies. However, Erwin had told Levi and the Squad Leaders at their meeting that it was impossible to predict how long they would have to stay there. His advice had been for each of them to keep in mind one or two of their best squad members, in the eventuality that they would have to send out hunting parties into the nearby woods.
'This couldn't get any worse.' the young Captain pondered as he walked the deserted corridors first thing the following morning, given that he – again – had failed to sleep that night.
Even if they could technically survive for a long time, they didn't have an infinite amount of hay for their horses. And even with the hunting parties, game was always scarce in winter. He doubted anyone could hunt enough to feed all of them and he certainly hoped they wouldn't get to any of the grim scenarios playing out in his head. On that thought he stopped at one of the large windows, looking out at the blizzard that had engulfed the area with full force since the previous afternoon.
He had allowed himself a moment of being mesmerized as he watched the snowflakes fluttering wildly against the window, when something else suddenly caught his focus. A brief flash of color in the white hell outside, like a fish you could only catch glimpses of as it threaded the water. Narrowing his eyes he stepped closer to the window to try and make out what it was. When he saw it again and noticed the bright red, his heart squeezed in his chest. His instinct had already gotten his body moving, and he walked over to open the nearest door to the yard. Stepping out into the freezing air he glanced around until he again saw that flash of red, his walk turning into a run as he got closer and recognized the figure up ahead.
"Hey, Natalie!" he called out, not getting any reaction out of her.
She was kneeling in the snow, dressed in nothing but her nightgown; what he had seen from the window had been her hair which the wind whipped about. Rushing over, he stepped in front of her to find that she was staring off in a clear daze, murmuring something he couldn't understand over the howling blizzard.
"Hey, snap out of it!" he scowled, crouching in front of her and grabbing her face between his hands. "Natalie... hey, wake up!"
Her arms and legs and even her lips had started turning blue from the cold; just how long had she been out there? It took a few moments – which in the bitterly freezing weather felt like hours – before he saw awareness lighting up her eyes again, as she blinked repeatedly.
"Captain..." she gasped, as if she had just then started feeling the cold. "Wh-what...?"
Biting back a sigh of relief, Levi gathered her in his arms before standing and heading back to the warmth of the castle.
"You tell me!" he ordered. "What the hell were you doing out here, dressed like this?"
At first she fell silent, unable to reply due to how badly she was shivering. Deciding that getting her warmed up was more important, Levi set his scolding aside and headed off to his room where the fire was still burning from the previous night. Grabbing the covers off his bed he wrapped her in them and sat with her as close to the fireplace as possible.
"So what were you doing out there?" he asked a few minutes later, once she had stopped shivering.
"I... don't know..." she shook her head, trying to sink into the blanket.
Her reply hadn't been what he had expected, but he heard the lie in her tone. Was all of this somehow related to the place she had described?
'Alright... I postponed this long enough.' he contemplated, before speaking again. "Does this have anything to do with what you told me when you woke up, that day?"
She didn't seem to realize, but from where he was sitting at her side he could still perfectly see the shock in her expression. So it was related to that... then, as he had suspected even back then, it hadn't been just a fever dream like she believed. Damn it he wanted to scold her for keeping it a secret all that time, but how could he when she already looked so miserable?
"Natalie... talk to me. If you need help, there's no shame in asking for it."
When she shrank into the blanket he debated whether or not to drop the issue. But no, it had gone far enough.
"Look, it's one thing to see weird stuff when you're unconscious and a whole other thing when it causes you harm." he said again, reaching out to weigh a hand atop her head and draw her attention. "Talk to me..."
His last words, though spoken in the same tone he always used, held so much emotion that Natalie failed to withhold her tears any longer.
"I... I'm scared, Captain..." she whispered, pulling the blanket tighter around herself.
For a split second she blanked on how to continue; where would she even begin to tell him, so as to make it sound less like the ramblings of an insane person? But then all her thoughts were scattered to the winds when she felt Levi taking hold of her chin, turning her attention back to him. It had been so long, but she still remembered that look in his eyes; the one that had filled her with courage on her first trip outside the Walls.
"If you'll let me help you, I will; if you'll let me protect you, I will."
"Even... if I was a monster? Would you still... even then...?"
It was amazing to her how, even while he narrowed his eyes in confusion at her weird question, his tone conveyed the exact same reassurance as before.
"Even if everyone says you're a monster, to me you're still just a tiny ball of emotions."
At first she only stared at him, unable to make heads or tails of the flurry of feelings his words had stirred in her.
'Do I have to do this alone?' she debated, right before a thought crossed her mind like a bolt of lightning.
That was it... that was the mistake her other self had made – running away, instead of putting her faith in her friends.
"Don't tell him." the disembodied voice whispered in her ear, nearly startling her as it always did. "It's not the right time yet."
In her mind's eye she could see her mirror image staring worriedly at her. So then, when would be the right time? When it was too late to change anything, anymore?
"Alright..." she huffed with a faint frown, ignoring the advice. "I've had it with lying and I've had it with trying to do everything on my own. I'll... try to explain what I know."
Once he had nodded his approval for her to start talking, Natalie took a deep breath and – again ignoring the annoying voice in her ear – tried her best to tell him everything she had learned until then. She gave him a clearer description of the world she had seen while unconscious, told him again about her 'twin', about the repeated dreams she kept having since then and how she had learned she was actually seeing glimpses of future events that she was supposed to somehow change for the better.
"I don't know what happened last night, but this was the first time I left my room." she explained. "She said it must have happened because the memory I saw was... particularly impactful for both of us."
She hadn't wanted to go into details, but the way he was watching her made her feel ashamed for even contemplating keeping any more secrets.
"She... or I should say 'I' because we are the same person..." she stammered. "I failed to stop him from killing everyone. In the end, running away to keep you all safe only got you all killed. When he came for my power, I... had you kill me."
She would have said she had expected him to be shocked by that, but the truth was nothing could have prepared her for the expression he now had on his face. Only when she shrank back into her blanket cocoon did he seem to regain his wits, taking a deep breath to clear his head.
"So who is this 'him' and what kind of power?" he inquired, pinching the bridge of his nose; he definitely felt a headache setting in.
"I don't remember his name and she won't tell me... she says I have to find out on my own, when the time is right. As for the power, it's..."
"It's called the Power of the Titans." she heard her twin whispering in resignation, although she refused to offer any more details.
When she repeated the name to him, she saw the twinkle of disbelief in his eyes.
"I know it sounds crazy, but it's true... I can become one of them, now."
"Show me." he ordered, leaving the redhead to stare at him in a mixture of concern and horror.
~ oOo ~
Try as she might, there was no changing Levi's mind about it. And so, after lunch she had to follow him out to the stables to saddle her horse. She had explained that it wasn't something she would ever agree to do anywhere near a human settlement. Not only because the process itself was very destructive, but also because she just didn't want to die. Her only condition had been that Levi had to have his gear and blades on him. In the case that she lost control and tried to attack him, she was confident he could cut her out of the Titan's nape without killing her.
"Are you sure about this, Captain?" she asked for the hundredth time, as she was putting the reins on her horse.
"You're not getting out of this, no matter how many times you ask." he retorted, leading his own steed out of its pen.
Though she sighed in response, she couldn't fully withhold a smile at how stubborn he was sometimes. She had no idea what he had told Erwin to get permission for just the two of them to leave like that, but it had worked. Even so, she wasn't entirely pleased that the rest of their squad had gotten the wrong idea about that outing.
'Ugh... Petra's never going to stop pestering me for details, now.' she mused with a forlorn look.
Reaching up to pat Ran's muzzle she smiled and tugged on the reins to get him moving.
"Come on, carrot breath... we're going for a walk."
Fortunately the snowfall had stopped earlier that morning, and she dearly hoped they wouldn't get caught by another storm out in the forest. But she followed Levi without any more protesting. He had taken them just far enough into the forest for no one to see them from the castle anymore, before turning aside and leading her far into the wilderness of Wall Rose. By the time they slowed the horses down to a walking pace, daylight was fading and she assumed they were far enough from the castle for no one to notice her.
When they stopped in the thick of a forest enclosed between hills, she agreed with Levi's assessment that it was the best place they would get, without having to go into Titan territory. Tethering the horses to the nearest tree, she led him further in until she felt confident that even if she went on a rampage she wouldn't accidentally kill their rides, leaving them stranded there.
"Just... in case I lose control of it, be careful." she said, only silenced by his hand plopping onto her head.
"Stop worrying so much. I've handled more Titans than you could count. You won't be the one to do me in."
"Just... if you have to cut me out... mind the head. My limbs aren't that important; they'll just grow back." she replied, trying her best to not sound terrified anymore. "Oh, did you bring it?"
Before she had even finished speaking Levi was holding out his hand, offering her a pocket knife.
"So long as you keep your goal clear in your mind, you'll do well." she heard her twin whispering in her ear. "Focus on staying in control, and you will."
Walking towards the middle of the small clearing they had just reached, while Levi switched to using his gear to get a higher vantage point, she took a deep breath. She didn't even know if she would be able to transform, with how nervous she was, much less stay in control.
'I hope this works... no, focus!' she berated herself.
At first Levi had watched her with a skeptical eye, despite having done as she had asked. But when she sliced her palm open he had to cover his face from the blinding flash and the whirlwind created around them, the crack of thunder hitting his ears like a hammer. And then he was left staring at the rapidly forming body of what was unmistakably a Titan. It looked different from any other he had seen before, and yet he couldn't help thinking that it did look so much like Natalie.
When the creature first turned its eyes to him, his reflexes had him take a step back on the branch he'd stopped atop. And when it lowered its hand to his level, he had to make a conscious effort to hold back from slicing its fingers off. But looking up at it, he could see the intelligence in its eyes. In the end it was that and his intuition that led him to put his trust in her. Jumping onto the large palm, he still felt a tiny shiver roll down his spine and briefly wondered if it would try to crush him. But the creature only lifted him up to eye level, before he saw the steam erupting from its nape and within moments Natalie had half emerged from it, heaving for breath.
"Well... at least it worked. I only tried it once before, but I lost consciousness and woke up next to the Wall."
At first he only stared at her in silence, trying to fully grasp the fact that she had actually turned into a Titan like she had claimed. It was only when her nose started bleeding that he refocused on the situation they were in. This could not possibly get any more complicated...
"Here..."
Having moved up next to her, he offered the young woman his handkerchief and turned his gaze to the massive body beneath his feet. He didn't really know how he felt now, knowing she was able to do something like that. Still, she had been honest with him even while knowing that he could have killed her – that even now, he could decide to kill her and she wouldn't be able to do a damn thing to stop him.
'Fine... I'll trust you in return.' he pondered, looking back to her as she removed herself completely from the nape.
In spite of the incredible display of power he had just witnessed, she still looked so frail that he couldn't help wanting to protect her. On that thought, as the Titan's body began to slowly disintegrate, he reached to wrap an arm around her waist and get them down on the ground.
"So there you have it." she said, shying away from him as soon as he had let go of her. "I'm not... human anymore."
"Idiot... didn't I tell you that doesn't matter to me?" Levi retorted, plopping a hand atop her head when she teared up.
"So you don't... hate me?"
Though caught off guard by the question, his expression softened to a degree when he finally understood that beyond all of that insane situation she was simply a terrified girl. Just how much courage had it taken for her to tell him everything? For her to show him of all people, the kind of power she possessed? How many would even understand that, if they knew? How many would try to kill her?
"You don't act any differently than before. You're still you..." he said reassuringly, his thumb tracing the slowly fading marks beneath her eye.
"I just... don't know what to do. Last time I ran away, trying to keep all of you safe, and that only ended up as a horrible mess. I thought that if I want to change anything and hope to make it better, I should try relying on those around me this time."
"I won't say a word about this, if you don't. As for the others, it's up to you to decide who you want to trust or not. But the question is: what do you want to do with this power? Will you keep it a secret? Will you use it for your own benefit? Or will you use it to save other people and to help humanity?"
In the face of her wide-eyed stare he sighed and withdrew his hand.
"I won't tell you to use this power or to not use it. That's up to you to decide; I just want you to think it through and decide if it's worth having everyone find out about it. Trust yourself or trust those around you – I can't give you an answer... you have to choose whatever you think you'll regret least."
Sooo today's replies for my lovely reviewers :D
1. Angel of Thor - Aaaaahhhh I'm so happy you're enjoying this so far, darling! Thank you for making my day, I hope the rest of the story will be just as fun to read for you!
So these are my replies for today. Cheers, lovelies~ ( ˘ ³˘)❤