Remember Me

Chapter Six: Open Up to Me

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Ben eyed the door closely. His brain was yelling at his legs to move, but they wouldn't budge. His heart started racing again and the ringing in his ears continued. Another set of three knocks came from the other side of the door. Ben knew he had to answer it. He pulled his blanket off him and while his eyes were still locked on the door, his feet slowly began to move. He walked idly to the door. Once he had become face to face with the front door, he drew in a deep breath and with a trembling hand, he placed it on the doorknob. As his heart pounded, he squeezed his eyes shut and opened the door quickly.

"Ben?" The husky voice was clear and sounded as if it had a tinge of worry in it. Ben slowly opened his eyes to see the man in all the pictures.

"Are you Dean?" Ben questioned in a hoarse voice. Dean's lips curved into a slight smile.

"Yeah, that's me." He chuckled lightly. He looked Ben up and down. It was strange seeing this tall, young man before him. The last time Dean had seen Ben was when the kid was small in stature and still had a childlike sense of wonder and innocence. He believed that eighteen year old Ben would still have it for whatever reason.

"You're so big." Dean said with another weak chuckle as tears brimmed his eyes.

"I guess. Growth spurt." Ben said with a small smile. "Come on in. I have some questions." Ben opened the door wider for Dean to enter. Dean turned to face Sam and Castiel, who had been leaning against the Impala, waiting for Dean. He gave them a small nod which meant: Go on, I'll catch up with you later. Sam gave him a small nod in return, letting his big brother know he understood. As Sam and Castiel climbed back into the Impala, Dean entered the house.

"Shoes off. Mom hates it." Ben commented before Dean could step further into the house and off the welcome mat that he stood on.

"Right." He mumbled before sliding his boots off. Ben made his way to the couch and Dean followed after him. Dean sat down awkwardly next to Ben and drew in a deep breath before speaking. "So, car accident, huh?"

"Yeah." Ben replied. "I was on my way to school when this guy just came out of nowhere."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. The doctor said I have a minor skull fracture. Mom lost her mind." Ben and Dean chuckled weakly together as Ben remembered his mom's reaction and Dean tried to imagine Lisa's reaction. He could imagine her taking things way out of proportion, but that's what parents do. Dean had about lost his mind when he heard, but then again, he wasn't Ben's real dad.

"But, that's not why I called you, I mean it is, but it isn't." Ben announced. Dean looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I've been having these dreams and visions. I know it sounds strange."

Dean shook his head as he leaned forward. "Believe me, I don't. I've seen and heard a lot worse."

"Well, they're of you. First time I had seen you, I recognized you from the hospital but then I started seeing flashes. These images I was seeing, it was like we all had a life together. You, Mom, and me."

Dean looking longingly at the floor. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Ben had somewhat remembered Dean without actually remembering him. It was like a cruel way of breaking his heart all over again. He averted his gaze to Ben, who was watching him carefully.

"So, we had a life? Was it all apple pie and sunshine?" Dean questioned, growing frustrated.

"Well, yeah." Ben respond. "I mean, from what I've seen."

"Ben.." Dean groaned.

"How do we know you? Why are you in pictures, but neither of us can remember you?" Ben questioned. Now, he was growing frustrated. He had the answer right in front of him and yet, he was still so confused. All he wanted was some damn answers.

"Ben, I can't tell you."

"Why not?" Ben jumped out of the couch and watched as Dean rubbed his eyes in frustration and impatience. He pulled the pictures out of his pocket and threw them in front of Dean on the table. Dean reached forward and grabbed them. He flicked through each of them slowly. With each picture, he would reminisce. Tears brimmed his eyes and one even managed to escape. He quickly wiped the tear away as he flipped through to the final picture. The one of him and Lisa so many years ago.

"This was a long time ago." Dean murmured.

"Read the back." Ben stated, still standing up and watching Dean. Without looking at Ben, he flipped the photograph over and read the back.

"1998." Dean whispered to himself as he smiled, thinking about that night. He had always referred to that week as the "bendiest week of his life." He chuckled lightly as the memories came flooding to him.

"That was eighteen years ago. Nine months before I was born." Ben stated, interrupting Dean's memories. Dean looked at Ben with furrowed eyebrows. He placed the pictures back on the table and stood up, matching Ben's eyes.

"What are you trying to say?" Dean asked.

"I think you're my dad." Ben announced.

"Kid, your mom put that to rest a long time ago." He blurted.

"Mom says she doesn't even know you. I don't think she even knows these pictures exist, so how could she put it to rest?"

Dean shook his head, trying to find a way out of the current situation without telling him everything he wanted to hear. Dean could have said any number of things, but he knew Ben was smarter than that. He knew he would find holes in his lies.

"Look, Ben, there are things that some people think they want to know, but then they realize they're just wrong." Dean tried to explained.

"But, we know each other." Ben responded in defeat. "I know we know each other, I just don't know how." He flopped onto the couch and dropped his head. "I guess I was just hoping to find some answers." Dean sighed and sat down next to the young man and gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder.

"Look, it's best we just move on." Dean's voice trembled. He hated even thinking about it, but he knew it was what was best for the Braeden's and himself. "I don't want to do it, but we have to."

"Will I know someday?" Ben questioned, finally looking back at Dean.

"Someday, yes. Today? No." Dean got up from the couch and placed a hand on Ben's shoulder. "I'm sorry you didn't get what you were looking for, but at least you know I'm real and whenever you need me, you can call me." He gave Ben a weak smile before heading towards the door. Ben jumped up from the couch in a rush.

"Wait." He spoke. Dean turned to face him. "Did you love my mom?" Dean gave Ben a small smile.

"More than anything."