Chapter 6: Zunama the Terrible... Or Is He?

"Gill! Gill! Energy insufficient," said the newest recruit on the intergalactic journey, "recharge required, recharge required!"

"Jeez, what's up with this guy?" complained Pan, "we gave him a good chunk of our spaceship's power supply, and he ate all the spare parts we brought here from Earth, and he still says he's hungry! I had to tie him to the ceiling just to stop him from eating anything important!"

"I'll never understand the sensation of hunger that you Saiyans experience," said Piccolo, "the only memory of ever being in want of food that I have would be when I was in Yunzabit before the dark half Daimao was split from his good side."

"Pan, you're going to have to untie him sooner or later," said Trunks, "the Super Radar indicates that we're nearing another Ultimate Dragon Ball. We'll need him to help track the second ball down. And the universe is a vast place. Spare parts aren't only ever found on Earth. Although to be honest, my mom's blueprints for the Dragon Radar do indicate that certain parts are produced exclusively in Capsule Corp., so we're stuck using him as a radar until we return to Earth."

"And just when will that be? When he's om nom nom'd this whole ship? Hmph!" said Pan, dissatisfied, "If anything we should tie him tighter so he doesn't eat something we really need and really mess things up for us!"

Pan then took out a pair of scissors and cut the rope tying Gill to the ceiling to try and tie it even tighter, only for Gill to then state, "Dragon Ball found! Dragon Ball found! Direction 1-0-2-0-0!"

"Dragon Ball found, he says?" said Pan, as she turned around to take a look at the spaceship's window, at which point Gill began nibbling on her pair of scissors.

"Hey! You didn't just talk out of your butt to treat yourself to some metal, did you?!"

"You're being too hasty, Pan," said Piccolo, "I definitely sense the presence of people in that planet that's just coming into view. And the Super Radar seems to indicate that the location of the Dragon Ball is in that direction as well."

"It's settled then! It's time to land and head towards the next Dragon Ball!" said Trunks, "With any luck, we'll have our second Dragon Ball by the end of the day! Direction 1-0-2-0-0, here we come!"

The trio landed onto an open and vast field of lush fields of grass and fresh air.

"A nice change of scenery from the last couple of planets we visited, that's for sure," said Trunks, "you really don't get to experience this kind of weather often in West City."

"Yes, it's quite different from the extremely tall heights Dende, Popo and I tend to spend our time in as well," said Piccolo, "and the people of this planet don't seem to pose any threat. Their Ki are actually quite similar in size to Earthlings."

"As long as I don't have to dive into any more yucky giants' mouths, this place is heaven!" said Pan, "I swear it took me 4 straight showers to get the smell of his saliva off my skin!"

"I'm putting OctoPUS 9000 in my capsule case this time," said Trunks, "this place feels similar enough to some quaint village on Earth that we probably don't need to worry about our spaceship getting squashed under a giant's foot or anything like that."

Trunks shrank the spaceship to capsule form and then stretched a bit before saying, "Gill! Where is the location of the Dragon Ball? If you manage to find it within the hour, I guarantee you – more treats for your power supply!"

"Dragon Ball located, 10 kilometers to the northwest!" replied Gill, "No movement detected. Immediate departure from current location recommended for maximal shortening of time spent on planet!"

"Alright then, shouldn't even take 2 second-" said Trunks as he raised his Ki a tad, at which point Piccolo held his hand over his face saying, "Wait, Trunks. Just because the planet is not packing any large power signatures now, doesn't mean that there aren't adept Ki sensors here like there were on Earth. Giving away our location to people could be risky. Remember, Goku was killed by the likes of Pilaf through sleeping gas."

"So we just travel the 10 kilometers on foot?" said Trunks, dumbfounded, "Doing that suppressed will take hours!"

"Yeah, Piccolo-san! There's tons of mountains near here, we can't just scale them on foot!" replied Pan as well.

"Who said we were suppressing down to the level of a regular Earthling? We just need to not be too conspicuous," said Piccolo, "all I'm saying is that just because this part of the planet is quaint, doesn't mean that there isn't any advanced technology here whatsoever. As long as our power isn't sticking out like a sore thumb in a location we already entered the planet in, we'll be fine. However…"

"I-I don't like where this conversation is going…" said Trunks forebodingly.

"Ha!" said Piccolo as he suddenly put weighted armbands and boots on Trunks and Pan through magic materialization, "There! The ten kilometers we'd otherwise be wasting time traversing the old-fashioned way, we can use as a training exercise!"

"I-I knew this was coming…" said Trunks, "C-Can't I raise my power just a little bit?"

"Geez, Trunks! Maybe if you hadn't opened your big mouth, we could've just run off toward the Dragon Ball before Piccolo-san got started on his bull!"

"Follow me, you two! Gill, guide the way!" said Piccolo as he started sprinting toward the location of the village ten kilometers away, leading the two disgruntled half-Saiyans to follow his lead.

A few hours later, the three reached their destination.

"A bit of a quiet place, isn't it?" said Trunks as he was catching his breath, "I… I'm never doing that again. Running nonstop suppressed with weighted clothes on."

"I-I'm so tired I can't lift up my arms," complained Pan, "can I take these armbands off now?"

"Be my guest. But be on the lookout for any stray bullets, according to Vegeta physically weak races such as the Tsufurians have often developed advanced weaponry to compensate," said Piccolo.

"Dragon Ball found! Dragon Ball found! 80 meters ahead!"

"It's practically within reaching distance! What luck!" said Trunks as he happily threw the weighted items away and skipped like a rabbit toward the location that Gill pointed the trio to. Once there, he saw a crowd of people gathered at the entrance of a large house.

"E-Excuse me…" said Trunks as he tried to peek at what was inside, "Geez, for their power ratings these people are pretty tall. Piccolo-san said not to draw attention, but the Dragon Ball's just within reach! I'm going in!"

Trunks levitated himself above the villagers and cut into the entrance, where he saw a Dragon Ball attached into a woman's braided ponytail.

"N-ICE!" said Trunks, snapping his fingers, "I'll just get my hands on that trinket, if you don't mind-"

Just as Trunks was about to reach out and claim his prize, a heavy earthquake began to afflict the area, knocking Trunks, Piccolo and Pan off balance while the villagers all lied face-down on the ground. They trembled in fear, saying "Z-Zunama-sama! Please don't be angry!"

"Zunama? An earthquake of this caliber… is he causing it?" said Trunks as he began levitating again to try and escape the effects of the earthquake, only to suddenly be pulled straight back into the ground. "W-What the?! My body suddenly feels like lead!"

From a distance, loud stomping noises could be heard as a large, eel-shaped figure caused fissures nearly the size of small canyons to appear in his wake as he headed toward the house.

"Villagers! I trust that you have my trophy?" inquired the animalistic figure, "And you'd better not pull any more tricks, like the last time I came for her!"

"This guy doesn't look like anything special to me…" said Pan, unimpressed, "I don't see what all these people are afraid of."

"Don't jump into any conclusions, Pan," said Piccolo, "remember what I said about some races compensating for low power with other means of attack. Just observe what his demands are and strike only when you're sure of your chances."

"Z-Zunama-sama! We have your sacrifice!" said a village elder, "So please, spare our village! You've already taken ninety-nine of our girls, and it pains me to say that the only one left is but my own daughter!"

"Fufufufu… I told you, the hundredth sacrifice is the one of utmost importance! The final meal to complete my transition into a truly divine being!"

"Y-Yes, your lordship," said the terrified elder, "B-But will the other girls you ensnared and turned to eels be returned to their original forms?"

"Fool! A hundred girls or a thousand girls, they're of trivial importance to the much grander plans I have to achieve godhood!"

"Godhood?" said Trunks, "This guy's got some serious delusions of grandeur!"

"Now, hand over your daughter of marriageable age! And I trust that you've slain that fiancée of hers before she could be deflowered?" asked Zunama.

"S-Sir, I couldn't do such a cruel thing! Doma is the son of one of my closest friends!" said the elder, "I-I made sure the marriage plans were canceled, could you please turn a-"

"Turn? Turn what? A blind eye?!" yelled Zunama, clearly infuriated, "You dare violate the conditions of our arrangement?! I shall have your village- no, this entire continent ravaged for this!"

As Zunama said this, freak lightning storms started dismantling the area as the area around the village shook as far as the eye could see. Debris were falling all over the villagers, forcing Pan to jump to their rescue.

"Hey! That's uncalled for! Trunks, let's kick his butt!"

"I'll finish this in one shot," said Trunks as he formed a ball of Ki in his hand, "I call this a mini-Big Bang Attack! Even this should be plenty enough for you," said Trunks as he prepared to throw the blast toward Zunama, at which point Zunama smirked and vibrated his whiskers at supersonic speeds, causing all of the village's houses to be reduced to grains of sand. Trunks' blast, which sped quickly toward Zunama, shrank instantly in size before fading out completely.

"W-What the?!" said Trunks, shocked, as Zunama then jumped dozens of feet in the air and landed next to Trunks, at which point he again began shaking his whiskers at blinding speeds, causing Trunks' neck scarf and the sleeves of his jacket to suddenly begin to be reduced into tiny scraps of cloth.

"Oh no, Trunks! Step out of the way this instant!" said Piccolo as he stretched his arm toward Trunks and threw him into safety. However, his elbow joint was exposed to the supersonic waves and disintegrated, causing Piccolo to fall over in pain as he realized that Zunama's attack took a huge chunk out of his arm.

"I trust that this is the only demonstration I need to make of my power," said Zunama, "I'd take my sacrifice now, but I'd rather have her when she's dressed in a more becoming outfit! I shall again return tomorrow, and if that boy Doma's head isn't delivered to me on a silver platter to ensure my lovely consort's chastity, this planet's landscape shall never look the same again!"

As Zunama said this, he took a deep breath and hopped over the ground, at which point another large quake sent such a vibration at the soles of his feet, he was propelled all the way to the base of the nearby volcano.

"Bahahahaha! I await my prize!" said Zunama, his voice as loud as thunder.

Piccolo regenerated the lost part of his arm and then said, "It's as I thought. A troublesome special ability."

"Okay, you people have some explaining to do! Just what exactly is this Zunama, and what's with his scary ability?" asked Pan.

"I-It's… a long and terrifying tale," said the village elder, "one year ago, a large earthquake occurred near the volcano of Mt. Calva, not far from here."

"I see… that must have released that Zunama creature," said Piccolo, "and now he has some kind of agenda with the women of this town?"

"H-He's a frightening monster! He claims to be the incarnation of this planet's power of nature given flesh, and each time he appears, he threatens us with a huge natural calamity unless we give him a girl for him to take as sacrifice!"

"He's been doing this for a year, and he's taken 99 girls… so I take it he's been coming and going about every three days?" said Trunks, "I underestimated him because his power was nothing to write home about, but I've never encountered that kind of ability before! I won't even know if my full power Final Flash would be able to hurt him while he's got that vibration power of his going…"

"E-Each time he takes a girl, she is reduced to a female eel creature not unlike him," said Doma, the village elder's son-in-law-to-be, "I-I couldn't bear to have my dear Laine be reduced to such a horrible form!"

"A hundred girls as sacrifices… If I had to guess, he's planning some sort of ascension," said Piccolo, "he's probably sucking out their life essence so that he can attain this 'godhood' that he mentioned."

"G-God?! What kind of god bullies innocent people like this? This's just the most disgusting way to treat a lady!" yelled Pan, "Trunks, we came for the Dragon Ball, but we can't let this crap slide!"

"You're right. I doubt he'd pose a threat on any kind of widespread scale outside of this planet even if he gets his 100th sacrifice as he demanded, but this kind of monstrous behavior can't go on!" said Trunks, "Plus, after he showed me up like that I'm just itching to put a sock in his mouth!"

"Y-You three want to help us?" said the village elder anxiously, "But are you sure? You saw what Zunama's shockwaves were able to do… the only reason we even escaped erasure last time is because he was hibernating this winter after the 99th sacrifice and when he came, a mysterious orb fell out of the sky and landed on his head! We tied him in ropes and threw him in the river, but he just came back a week later! W-We were desperate, so we even had my sweet Laine keep the orb on her as a good-luck charm, but it hasn't borne any sort of fruit…"

"That's not a good luck charm, sir, it's called a Dragon Ball!" said Trunks, "Gather all seven and you can be granted any wish!"

"E-Even getting rid of Zunama?" said Laine, "I-I couldn't bear to be apart from my beloved Doma, let alone turned into an eel creature like him! Please, I'll do anything, just please save us!"

"Then the arrangements are simple," said Piccolo, "we'll help get rid of Zunama for your village. In return, you give us the Dragon Ball. From the looks of it… it seems to be the six-star variation."

"Piccolo-san! You have a plan to defeat Zunama, then?" asked Trunks, "I'd do it myself, but I honestly can't think of a way to break through his shockwaves!"

Piccolo smirked faintly and said, "Oh, yes I do… But you won't like it."

A few hours later, Trunks found himself dressed in an alien wedding dress wearing a raven-haired wig with drag queen makeup applied on his face.

"JUST WHAT KIND OF PLAN IS THIS?!" yelled Trunks angrily, "If Bra and Goten saw me like this right now, they'll keep taunting me about it until we hit the grave!"

"I'm sorry Trunks, but you're the only one in our group approximately the same height as an average female in this planet," said Piccolo mockingly, "and my race of Namekians have no gender distinction; we are hermaphroditic people who reproduce asexually."

"It's pretty fitting on you Trunks, you make drag look real convincing! You should do it more often," said Pan deviously, "I'm almost jealous of how preeeeeeetttty you look."

"Grrr…."

"And here's these two bottles as a backup plan," said Piccolo as he materialized a couple of bottles, "knowing the scale of that Zunama creature, this village likely isn't the only one he terrorized. The reason he only took female sacrifices from here must be because as an embodiment of this planet's natural forces of sorts, he's bound by some kind of spiritual contract to the volcano he was released from. Like a wandering spirit transfixed on a particular place of interest in his previous life, if you will."

"So I just slip these in his food, then?" said Trunks.

"Yes. One of them is a vial of alcohol to have him loosen up so he'll let his guard down," said Piccolo, "and the other is a truth serum. Most transformation processes are reversible, so if you can manage to sneak the truth serum into his food, you may be able to get him to reverse the process of eel transformation that he performed on those girls."

"H-He said some shit about how he wanted a pure virgin maiden sacrifice, didn't he? W-What if he comes at me… you know, sexually?"

"I trust that you'll be able to put up a convincing enough act to feed him the two bottles before that can happen," said Piccolo, "I have only the highest expectations of the former president of Capsule Corp."

"I-I just know you're getting a laugh out of watching me suffer…"

The next day, Zunama came to the village as he promised. Trunks had spent the night practicing making his voice sound high-pitched, and somehow or other fooled Zunama into taking him into his volcano hideout without a hitch.

"T-This place is magnificent, my lord! Just what I'd expect of the future god of this planet! Ho ho ho!" said Trunks, clearly straining himself to sound feminine.

Zunama began stretching and tickling his whiskers, saying "The time of ascension will come soon… I just know it! I-I can't wait any longer, I will have my meal-"

Just as Zunama said this, Trunks deftly took out a kitchen knife and a pot and said, "B-Before you partake on giving me the honor of being able to offer myself as sacrifice, m'lord, allow me to prepare you a feast! You can't let such a momentous occasion come by without a good and satisfying meal! I-I was a bride in the making, and I'm quite confident in my cooking skills!"

"Heh… Very well, feel free to use the food I have in storage to cook me up a feast. I'll wait for you on the bed. Make me the bed and breakfast of a lifetime, you knocker, you!"

"You just wait, you overgrown fish lipped freak," mumbled Trunks to himself, "I'll be the one having your eel ass for dinner after I'm done with you!"

Trunks used what little cooking skills he had to cook Zunama up a feast, and poured extremely potent vodka all over Zunama's roasted duck dish. Before long, Zunama was drunk as a skunk and said, "L-Laine, was it? I-I'm feeling… kind of out of it," said Zunama, "how about we get you undressssshy?"

Zunama took out his four foot wide tongue out of his large mouth and licked Trunks' face, causing his makeup to be wiped off.

"Huh? I don't remember your face lookin' so sharp before…" said Zunama as Trunks revealed his true colors and cut off his left whisker with the kitchen knife he used to cut his food, at which point Trunks took off the wig and said, "That's because I'm a man! Zunama, you do remember me from the day before, don't you?"

"Y-You! It's you, the purple haired brat that was with that caped green fellow! Where is my sacrifice?!"

"The sacrifice you speak of is in the village, and as a Saiyan and the granddaughter of the Tenkaichi Budokai champion, I won't let you hurt any more girls!" said Pan, as she revealed that in the middle of Zunama's drunken stupor, she, Doma and Piccolo snuck into the volcano hideout.

"Y-You four! You'd best be ready to die for what you've pulled!" yelled Zunama furiously as he shook his whisker, causing the volcano to erupt, "I'll bury you all in lava and go on to take my prize at the village!"

"That's what you think! Piccolo-san, take this!" yelled Trunks as he turned Super Saiyan and burned off his drag disguise with his aura before throwing the bottle of truth serum to Piccolo.

"Fools! I'll just vaporize that, too!" said Zunama as he got ready to vibrate his whisker, at which point Trunks grabbed it with both his hands and said, "Ha! It's as I thought, you need both your whiskers to produce vibrations fast enough to reduce objects to molecules. But with only one whisker, a strong enough grip like mine can keep your whisker in place! Your ability is useless now!"

"No! No! Nooooo!" yelled Zunama as he was forced to ingest the truth serum while Trunks vaporized the lava outside the volcano, nullifying the damage and forcing him to reveal that all he wanted all along was to just become human. He sucked the life force out of the ninety-nine girls he had kidnapped, but not anywhere near enough to drain their vital Ki supply. He fessed up and said that once he was able to become human and escape the eel body he'd despised, he was actually going to turn the girls back to normal. His whole façade about being a divine being was a complete farce, and he was merely a low-class Mazoku from the Demon Realm anchored to the body of a large eel.

The team took Zunama back to the village, where they explained the reasoning for Zunama's misdeeds. Zunama complied with turning the girls back to normal, and said that all he needed to turn human was a kiss on the lips from a young woman. Laine refused, wanting to be faithful to her fiancée Doma, at which point Trunks vindictively grabbed hold of Pan's head.

"W-Wait, Trunks, I never said okay to-"

"Remember Pan, he needs a kiss on the lips from a young woman! He's already gotten kisses from the other 99 girls in the village, you're the only one that fits the bill!" said Trunks fiendishly as he forced Pan to make contact with Zunama's eel lips. Zunama went from an ugly eel creature to an equally ugly humanoid mortal, at which point he used a curtain to make himself a makeshift robe and said, "Thank you! Thank you so much! I-I'm finally human! Wait for me girls, Daddy Zunama is comin' for ya!"

Zunama took off into the distance, happy as a child in a candy store. Trunks and Pan were both completely out of things to say, and muttered,

"I-I really don't think he'd stand any better chance with the ladies than he did in his previous form…"

"Yuck! I had to give him mouth to mouth for this?!"

The village elder walked up to the three heroes and said, "Thank you so much, youngsters. Here is the magic orb that you requested."

Just as the elder was about to hand Trunks the six-star Dragon Ball, Doma jumped in their way and grabbed the Dragon Ball and jumped fifty feet away.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" yelled Pan, "Wait… You suddenly raised your Ki, and it feels completely different from the other people here! Tell me who you really are, mister!"

"Hehehehe… it appears you've finally caught onto my deception," said "Doma," "the real Doma brat is at the base of the volcano, detained by my fellow Para Para Brothers. I would have just stolen the Dragon Ball sooner, but the Namekian just had to split himself into two bodies to watch over it, so I had to maintain this disguise until the opportunity presented itself. We will meet again soon enough. Until then, goodbye!"

The evildoer transformed into his real form of a blue-skinned, browless alien and flew into the distance, where he was joined by his two comrades. They vanished before anybody could snatch the Dragon Ball back from them…

To be continued...