Fandom: Gravitation / グラビテーション
Title: Creating Infinity.
Pairing: Ryuichi x Tatsuha
Rating: PG-13
Description: (sequel to "Things don't last forever.") Tatsuha receives a surprise on White Day that he never expected to get.
Disclaimer: Murakami Maki-sama is the goddess who created this wonderful title.
Creating Infinity.
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 6 – More beautiful than the music.
The glowing moon is high in the sky when we see the scales of its rays upon the waving water. Ryuichi's facial expressions change the close we approach the ocean, smelling the salt flowing through our windows. No longer able hide the giddiness, he sprints out the door to meet the coast the very instant I park the car. He holds his arms out, but keeps his quiet excitement in check because it's almost eleven at night.
He breathes in the saline air while running. "Umi~! Umi na no da~!"
Taking off his shoes and socks, he tosses them aside before dropping to his knees. When he reaches the water, he splashes it onto his face.
This entire scene takes my breath away.
Even I begin to question how much he really loves the water. Or rather in love with it, just as much as the sun and singing.
"Do you see those two rocks there with the rope binding them together? This is called Meoto Iwa for Izanagi and Izanumi. They say they're the wedded rocks, but I brought you here because of all the places in this world, this one's the most special to me.
I know that the Ise Shrine is the place everyone aspires to go to at least once in their lives, but for me, this spot is what's kept me intact all this time. It's forever burned into my memories.
This was where we all spent our last vacation together as a whole family before Mother got sick. Before Nii-chan went to New York. Before Nee-chan got married.
Where my sister blasted Nittle Grasper on her radio all day long and we sang our lungs out."
He walks further into the cold water, squatting to run his fingers through the sand and water against his wrists. I follow after him, my hands forming fists from nervousness.
I won't let my self-doubts pummel me down to the ground ever again.
"See…" I take a large breath and the air feels refreshing inside my lungs. "...what I'm trying to say is that you've been with me my whole life, Ryuichi."
He immediately freezes, but doesn't turn around. The water laps around us with the rushing sound pushing through our ears.
"All the times I couldn't talk to anyone about what's happening, I've been sharing them with you all along. When my mother passed away. When my brother came back changed. When my sister left the house and I was the only one left to take care of the temple with Father."
I stop at the edge, the fingers of the waves reaching out for me but not touching my shoes. I can't seem to make myself go towards him.
"When I was growing up and needed someone, you were there. Your words gave me answers or, at least, things I needed to hear when I couldn't express my thoughts to anyone around me. Well, not the real ones.
I pretended to be aloof because that was my shield, but inside, I was always conflicted. I couldn't ask my brother for advice as much as I used to. My sister was busy with her own troubles and now, she has her own family to take care of. But what happens to me? For them, I'm the glue. They dote on me, but I'm also the mediator when there's something wrong. Whenever they fight, I'm the only one they'll reason with.
So when you said you'd do acting, I was happy for you, but I was worried if you'd ever do music again. I needed you to, selfish as it was. So when you came out with some singles, I bought all the editions as soon as the pre-orders were up."
Pausing, I focus my eyes to take in the sight of his silhouette against the sea and wind, the wedded rocks before him with the gleam of the moon over the ocean.
"I have no idea what I'd do if I couldn't hear you." A tear slips down and I swiftly clear it away.
"I know it's unreasonable to depend on you this much." Gulping, I feel the water building on my burning eyelids. "You've been there with me without knowing so I'm very attached to you. In each song, I feel the energy you're trying to give."
Slowly, he stands up and the water drips from his fingers.
"At some point, I wanted to let it all out. I needed to because my feelings were all building up inside me. But where could they really go?
Somewhere, somehow, I wanted to tell you thank you for inspiring me. For helping me get through all the happy times. And all the excruciating ones I couldn't cry in front of my family but could face them through your singing.
That's why when you told me all those things by the ocean last time, I knew I had to do something more. I'd become dissatisfied with just listening.
That's what all those books truly represent."
I love you more than you can ever possibly imagine, Ryuichi-sama.
But my mouth stops short of these precious words.
He puts his hands into his pockets and kicks the sand, his impromptu wave fighting the one that's coming in. "Eiri was right."
"Nii-chan?"
"He once mentioned that you have this gift of really listening to others. That's why he always thought temple life suited you better than him."
"He's just-"
"You're always trying to connect to others. Now I get what he meant, especially from what you've just said." He hangs his head forward. "Unlike me, you don't put up barriers to protect yourself. Maybe that's why you're so sweet. You're not suspicious of others' motives."
I…I had no idea he'd even spoken to Nii-chan about me.
He turns around and lifts his head, staring me straight in the face. The wind flaps his gelled hair and he takes his hands out of his pockets. "I guess what I've always wanted to know is why. Why did you keep listening? Why did you keep following me, especially after all that in LA?"
"Hmm…" I look away for a moment and bend down to take off my shoes. "I could say the lyrics have depth or that the melodies sound simple but are challenging to sing, or that you and Nittle Grasper make things seem effortless. But I guess it's the depth in the clarity.
You've evolved, but you yourself are the same. Am I making any sense?"
Ryuichi nods, waiting for something that I don't quite know.
"Your voice is clear, like when I listen, you're speaking directly to me. Your honesty shines through and I know it's purely your sound. Because I can hear the light from every song you sing and it resounds somewhere inside of me."
He gasps softly, and I see the surprise marked all over his face. "I thought you were very disappointed with me. And mad too for sending you back without-"
"I was." I unclasp my fists and take a step towards him, the liquid's frigidness clasping onto my feet and ankles. "But that was a mistake on my part."
"No, I wasn't confident that time."
I shake my head. "Someone as interesting as you? Especially after telling me about what you thought about mermaids, you'd never go for a mindless fan. You'd get bored with anyone who'd just follow your pace, wouldn't you?
So I promised the next time we met, I'd be ready. To fight back and work hard to make you pay attention to me. I just didn't expect you to respond at all. Let alone to understand all those books so well."
"So those books you wrote…they really were for me, weren't they?"
I just nod, but he still appears a bit troubled.
"There are times you really remind me of Tohma." His gaze points downwards with a tint of a frown. He doesn't even try to hide his distress.
"I do?"
"You let me go far enough to protect my true self, but don't destroy it. You guys never ask for anything in return." He looks back at me.
"I don't have the right to." My chest collapses as I admit, "I don't own you."
You're not mine. You're everyone's.
You should be free.
I only understand now why Tohma lets you do as you please but keeps you close.
But that's when he pulls my hand and puts it over his heart, pressing my palm against it. "Yes…yes you do. You belong to me and I belong to you."
My mouth opens and I'm completely speechless.
The wind powerfully blows between us.
"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to look, but while you were gone I went to look for you in your room after my nap. I completely missed the note you'd left on the table about your meeting.
But I saw a stack of notebooks."
My eyes become bigger and bigger while my throat dries up. I have a hard time breathing nor can I say a damn word.
TATSUHA~! YOU IDIOT!
He takes his hand away to look up at me. "I was going to ignore them, but the titles seemed so familiar. And then I realized they were all my album titles. I confess that I opened the lavender and mint one named 'Predilection'."
Predilection!
Oh god…yes, it's you, but I mean, oh no…
Now you really know I'm a raging, obsessive stalker…
I clear my throat and hold my breath, waiting for the exact moment that he'll tell me I'm a complete lunatic and ask for a restraining order against me. That would be fine compared to, worse of all, his flat out rejection in his own words.
And then, it'll be done.
I'll have nothing left.
I close my eyes because I see the crash ready to happen and I'm bracing myself for the impact.
But when I open my eyes just as quickly, he grabs my upper arms and squeezes them. With a grave look, he stares up at me while softly quivering. I can't make out if he's mad, upset or what not and my panic radar multiplies as I pretend to watch him calmly, breathing slowly.
"Did you really mean what you said in those notebooks?" He looks down to the ground, but is still holding onto me.
"Yes."
He is absolutely silent, but the quivering becomes more rattled.
His voice cracks as he says, "I regretted letting you go that day."
And when he lifts his head, tears are quietly going down his face. There is complete fear inside his eyes, a look I'd never associate with this face.
"When you left, I had a complete breakdown. I'd lost the ability to create."
It's now my turn to be floored.
"Ever since I've remembered, the people around me always wanted something. And they did despicable things to get whatever they wanted. So all the songs I made in the past were to understand how to get through these situations. It was my own way of fighting back when I still couldn't find my voice.
And then, I met Tohma. There were so many things that had happened to me before meeting him that by the time we did, I was already broken. But he called out my hidden self through music and somehow, the anger transformed into something beautiful.
But my focus soon changed. The most popular tunes we created were actually all my thoughts about him. So Nittle Grasper's songs were to let it all spill out, whatever connection we had. It was my way of dealing with our bond and the past. And to also carve the future and the self I'd wanted to become.
Tohma's the person who helped me survive it all and I love him very much. He's actually the first person I ever trusted in this entire world. The person who taught me about caring for others. And myself.
That's why I always listen to him.
When I'd finally come to terms with him, our relationship, and myself, that's when he and Noriko wanted to reform Nittle Grasper to go against Bad Luck. I had enough momentum to restart again, but you can only go back to a particular solution for the same problems.
As time goes by, they'll show up in different forms until you confront them towards solving them."
He lets me go and steps backwards. The sound of the sea was drowns me as he speaks.
"Around that time, you came to visit me. When we went to the zoo and when you came to LA, you never asked for anything. You just enjoyed being with me and our time together. I let you go anyway because of my insecurities and you needed to move forward with your own choices. From my perspective, which I didn't know until now, I was a complete stranger as a person even though you knew my stage personality.
That's when I broke down though. I was mentally crippled by all the doubts that pounded me as soon as you left on that airplane." He sighs.
"You didn't want anything. Was that really true? How about if I pinned all that hope and you'd use me in the end? But you don't seem the type. I've been wrong before too because there are some who find their true selves through you and throw you away when they don't need you anymore.
I was scared that if I lost all those feelings you gave me, would I ever be able to create as I once did? Would I lose the way I created?"
He looks at the sea again. "I've written from the pain for so long, I didn't want to touch what you were offering me."
Bending down to the sea again, he pats it again seeking comfort. "And Shuichi too. He calls a part of me that I'm both familiar and unfamiliar with. The point is that both of you give me this admiration that I don't believe I deserve. I needed to empty myself out, but you keep coming back to me somehow to fill the gap."
I reach out to touch his hair. Squatting down in front of him, the water starts to cling onto my pants, but I take a hold of his face. He's still looking away from me.
"If I took a hold of you, what would be the next challenge…I'm not scared of the obstacle, but the sacrifice that would come with it. Would you get hurt by my options?
I've thought endlessly about you, Tatsuha. What did you take with you whenever we met?
Tohma grew worried so he came to visit me for a week. He pulled me to leave my house and we went to a bookstore because he knew I'd already finished all the books I had when I holed myself in my cave.
While he was on one side of the store, a display highlighting new books in Kumikuniya caught my eye. I took the one with the cover of a profile of a man with one white mechanical wing, the feathers half torn off. But it was in pastel and what captured me was that there were no definite lines, just an impression. It felt like 'me'. I opened it right there and read the first lines:
'You can't recover something that's already lost,
so enjoy it will you can
while it lasts…
That's why everything is so precious.'
That's what my angel told me before he disappeared from my sight.
These words came off the print and magically wrapped themselves around my body.
Tohma came up to me because I'd been standing there for a while. He glanced at the book and then at my face but didn't say a thing. Without a word, I took his hand, bought the book and went home to compose music and lyrics from those words, like I was having a conversation with this inspiration.
From those opening lines, I was able to write my first song after a long hiatus. A melody bust through my veins and broke out to be sung. Tohma was there watching me until I asked him to help me record it because, of course, he was going to make the arrangement.
It wasn't for money, but he'd seen it on my face. I wasn't going to turn away ever again.
Whatever he saw, after we recorded it, he held my face and said, 'There you are. The person I met. You're no longer lost, are you?'
I shook my head and the next day, he left."
His gaze finally touches mine and we're watching one another. He puts his hands over mine and pushes my palms onto his cheeks.
"That's how I knew. I knew long before I read the rest of 'Ningyo no Ouji-sama'. That one day you spent with me is spilled all over those pages.
That's why I refused to let anyone else make that soundtrack to your first theatrical debut once I found out from Tohma about the contest. I'd never give that to anyone because it's mine.
Or rather, I'm already yours and these songs are all my letters to you. To all the books you've published so far.
You saw right through me that day, didn't you? Even Tohma hasn't seen that far.
That's why I'll never hesitate again."
I catch his shoulders, burying my head into the crook of his neck and smell the sunshine I've always associated with him.
"I wanted to transform. I wanted to go past the limits I thought I already smashed through…" He lifts his arms around me. "…but I only knew that while you were gone."
"Thank you…" I quietly sob, holding him tighter and tighter.
"I'll never ever let you go again, Tatsuha. That the was the stupidest thing I've ever done! Well, that and leaving Kumagorou in my bag which I forgot in a taxicab that Tohma had to stop a whole city to find." We begin to laugh, but I start to cry when we stand up.
"Hey, I didn't mean to make y-"
"You didn't need to do all that to get me. You could have just asked," I say matter-of-factly.
"What?"
"I've been yours ever since I heard 'Omoi yo'. I didn't see who the singer was, but the voice reached through the radio and grabbed my heart before I knew I'd given it away." I breathe in the scent of his hair once more. "Nee-chan said that I stopped constructing my box castle to dance. Then when the next tune started, I was so disappointed that your voice wasn't playing anymore. So instead of doing homework, we ran to the music store to go buy Nittle Grasper cassettes.
From drawings to stories, there was no other way for me to let my feelings out, but you know what? The more I wrote, the more reasons I found to love you."
I pull away and see he's overwhelmed by what I'm telling him.
"When I visited you, I realized that I fell in love with the person behind the music. You let me see beyond the filtered window, which I think other people in the world have no idea about. That's why I decided to pursue this path after being with you."
He keeps staring at me but drops of water fall from his face and into the ocean. "If you keep saying things like that, I'm going to really take you home with me."
"Okay." I nod readily.
He's dumbfounded by my earnestness.
"If it's anything to do with you, without a doubt, I'm going to say yes."
"But the temple and your father. Your family…"
"Whatever it takes, it still comes down to me and what I decide for myself. Isn't that what you told me on the other side of this ocean? Well…"
I grab a hold of both his hands and lift them to the air. "I choose us!"
Holding onto my hands just as firmly, he looks down and his whole body begins to shake, but when he looks up, the laughter in his eyes soon echoes into the air around us. He shakes his head from side to side with a grin that makes me wish the world would kill me now.
Everything else is icing on a stack of mochi donuts to the sky compared to this laughter.
Finally, I'm able to hear you without the tinges of lingering sadness.
Without warning, he leans forward to push his lips onto mine. Surprised, I teeter a bit and my eyes flutter, the rush running through my synapses and delaying the translation into my head that this is indeed as real as they come. Still holding my hands in the air, he crushes my fingers while his tongue feels its way inside my mouth. And somehow, I'm tickled at the thought that he tastes sweet like black and blueberries combined, complementing Kumagorou's smell.
I don't know what to make of it, but I'm losing oxygen and he's much stronger than I thought he'd be.
Stepping back, he watches for my reaction, but still holds my hands as he brings them down. I try to breathe while swiping my tongue over my lips to remember the taste.
He bites his lower lip and gives a tantalizing sideways glance before pulling me out of the ocean. We run towards the car, catching our shoes along the way.
"I want to read the rest of the notebook! I only read the first few pages because I felt guilty for looking without your permission."
"Actually, to tell you the truth, I have a lot more."
We run to the car, but he sits in the driver's seat and ends up driving with the GPS so that I can snooze along the way. All the way home, he never lets go of my hand.
*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/
When we reach the house, it's very late, but we make our way to my room and pull one of the closets open. There's nothing but make-shift scrapbooks inside.
"I thought you said a lot, but not a whole closet full!"
He sits on the tatami and I bring out stack after stack in chronological order. When I stop midway, he tells me, "No, please bring out everything. I want to read them all."
"All right."
As soon as I finish, I sit in front of him and with both of my hands, I hold out the first one towards him. "Nittle Grasper's first single. Nee-chan placed it all into one folder."
He takes it into his lap and opens it, biting his lips from the inside of his mouth. Unable to say anything, he places his finger on the letters (or shapes of them, anyway).
Seeing his face change from shades of amusement to awe, I'm grateful that I can witness all these expressions, especially from what I've poured myself into all this time.
But that's right, you've been with me most of my life…
/"Nee-chan." I shook my head. "I don't want to ask, Tohma-san. I should do this by myself."
But somehow, the look on her face measured more than Tohma inside of it. She knows Ryuichi more than I ever will.
"Regardless if I tell him or not, he will find out. And he will do something."
"Why?"
"Because this is related to Ryuichi."
"And…?"
"Let me tell you. He'd move out of this house and take care of him if he's sick. That's how close they are."
"Well, yes, they are best friends, aren't they?"
"Ryuichi holds a part of him that I don't know, Tatsuha."
The look in her eyes was dead serious, but I couldn't read the implications.
"I've tried every publisher I could get to, but no one will take the manuscript."
"What's this about Ryuichi?"
Unexpectedly, Tohma walked into the living room and took hold of the file before him. He flipped through my rough draft. "You can't put this out…"
"Why not?"
"Ryuichi is all over these pages."
I was shocked at how fast he picked that up. "I…"
Continuing to read, he peered over the stapled pages and into my face. However, he didn't say anything. He went back to reading for a few more minutes and my sister got up to attend to my nephew.
As soon as she left, he glanced up again and I was more stunned than ever.
I never thought Tohma could ever make that kind of face…
"Why are you doing this?"
"When you sent me to him and I came back with nothing, it hurt, Tohma-san." I pointed at the papers in his hand. "But I was wrong. This is what I came back with and this was the answer I was searching for. Either way, I was going to go crazy with or without him because I finally got to see who he really is. And it's more beautiful than the music he paints."
He covered his hand over his eyes, but I saw an inscrutable smile on his lips.
"I don't know if he'll ever get it, but that doesn't matter. I just want to give back what you gave me all these years. Many things won't ever return to the way they used to be, but I can remember because of you, Noriko, and him."
I grabbed his open hand and he took the one covering his eyes to stare at me.
"I didn't want to ask you because you've done a lot for my brother and sister already. But…" I closed my eyes and gulped, not being able to open them when the tears rained down. "I didn't understand what you meant before, but now I do. You sent me to him for this, didn't you? Please help me reach him, Tohma-san."
In a soft voice, he asked, "Just what did you see when you went there?"
But he didn't give me enough space to reply when he nodded his head with a gentleness that I'd only seen once before.
And it was with Nii-chan.
I was surprised at this realization, but didn't say anything.
He pressed his index finger to his mouth. And that's the first time I'd seen his red eyes, but no water fell from them.
When he exited the room, my sister returned but wasn't surprised her husband was no longer there.
I didn't know what to make of it, but kept it all inside my heart./
He's flipping through the next one and sees sentences, little stories I made up while listening to certain songs. When he starts to laugh, I hold my hand out to pat his cheek but don't interrupt his reading. Standing up, I get ready for bed and by the time I'm back inside the room, he's on the pages telling of a friendship between a robot and a desert lobster (scorpion) out in the sand dunes.
Oh, so you're on the fourth one already?
I'm grinning too much because he's reading as quickly as he can, but it's like he's drinking everything in...
Even though I slept in the car, I'm starting to feel the crash after the adrenaline rush. But I also feel a sense of relief I've never had before: My feelings pouring out on these pages and they're finally reaching the person they were intended for.
He doesn't want to tear himself from his place but watches me prepare my bedding.
"I don't mind if you stay here."
"The light?"
"What did I tell you earlier that whatever you want goes?"
"How could I forget?"
Setting up my alarm to wake me up in two hours, I settle into bed. "Oyasumi, Ryuichi."
But not very long after, I hear the click of the light.
"It's all right. Really…"
Just when I think he's going to take the books out and close the door, I feel him lift up my blanket and slips in next to me. My heart zips to one hundred beats in one second.
I open my eyes as his forehead touches mine and sweetly says, "Thank you, Tatsuha. Oyasumi."
Then, he turns around and curls into a ball.
I'm wide awake now. Watching his back, I fight the urge to give into temptation. But as I hear his breathing slowly relax, I start to think when will this ever come again? He's going back tomorrow even after we've said, right?
I don't want to leave him alone…not like last time…
Before I regret it, I lean forward to kiss the back of his head. His shoulders tense up and I wait a few seconds before kissing the nape.
"Mm."
I pull the blanket away and slide my hands over his hips and into his clothing, kissing his spine through the material.
Shivering, he doesn't say another word, but when my hand finds the hem of his shirt and grasps the skin underneath it, I hear him take a deep breath. I pull him to come closer and wrap one arm around his waist and put my chin a bit behind his shoulder.
His eyes are squeezed shut, but he gasps when I finally grab onto what I'm searching for. Just as my thumb rubs the tip, I lick his ear and he bites his lower lip.
Stroking slowly, the shivering a little more violent and I'm waiting for the fruit of my labors to become ripe. But I'm relishing the glimpses of anticipation and torment, wondering if he's enjoying this from the painful expressions on his face.
I lick his cheek and even his sweat tastes sweet.
"Ryuichi…" I whisper into his ear before biting his shoulder.
Slowly, I prolong the experience, squeezing and kneading as his flesh hardens, insistently pushing my tongue on each bone I can find on his shoulder.
He starts to squirm along with heavier breath, wanting more.
"Mmph," he starts to say until he gradually opens his mouth. I poke my finger at the near stickiness.
"Tat…Tatsuha…ah~…."
Just to tease him, I lick the inside of his ear canal again and rub my thumb at the tip faster and faster as he winces, making an indiscriminate noise that I don't know if he's breathing in or moaning. I smirk when I feel his face start to ignite.
I want to see it…
He whimpers and squirms as the speed of my hand moves faster. "I won't ever let you go."
"AH~."
I turn him around, but this flushed face is much prettier than I expected: Tears in his eyes with the rouge brushed all over his cheeks.
I stare almost to the point that I get upset at anyone else who has seen this.
Yes, I definitely won't ever let you go…
*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/
When I blink my eyes tiredly, a naked Ryuichi is sitting in front of me with my shirt draped over his shoulders. He's perusing through the last stack of stories and drawings.
Wait…didn't I just put that shirt in the hamper?
But I smile as his face lights up like he's reading picture books.
It will be messy. I have no idea how we're going to solve this conundrum of being together, but as I drift back to sleep while watching him, I'm certain of one thing: There must be a way.
And I doze off again until the sky changes into a lighter hue.
Tsuzuku… / To be continued…
-
Author's note: The places I mention here are places that are very significant to me for different reasons. You can see those bears (I have a picture on DeviantArt).
I really do not like going to crowded places so I stay away from them, but while everyone knows the bamboo forests, there is a garden that's very quiet because people usually bypass it, but it is incredibly peaceful and beautiful. I like those types of places (my favorite garden is actually in Takamatsu). I have not written my memoir but I guess these fics are pieces of it anyway because I promised I would show the ones that aren't as highlighted in guidebooks and the like.
The place where they have their picnic is somewhere I've mentioned in another fic (Tokyo Babylon) and that is the site of the Boshin Sensou (where Shinsengumi fought and you can see that in the opening scene of the Rurouni Kenshin live action movie). There is nothing but grass now, but I enjoyed just sitting there because I felt something there.
So that leads us to Meoto Iwa. A long time ago, going to the Ise Shrine was something (I am not sure now) that everyone had to go to at least once in their lifetime. This place is where Amaterasu lives and has a strong feel (To me, Izumo, Miyazaki-ken's shrine for Izanagi and Izanumi and Koya-san have the same power). But to discover those two rocks, I brought people all the way out there by local train (yes, I've travelled Tokaido Line from Tohoku to Hiroshima without express trains) to see its beauty.
I didn't realize about the 'wedded rock' thing when I thought of Ryu and Tatsu going there, but it makes perfect sense, ne? They are really bound together. Well, at least in my mind.
But I was aiming for something different. (After all, it's been many years since I've written for Gravitation.) I thought what could I write that isn't like Aching Desire? Although Ryuichi is still vulnerable here, he's more resolute and Tatsuha is still a fanboy but is aggressively going after him, which is completely different from the fics I've written. Ah, Gravi. This is why I love you. Whenever I need an answer, there you are to guide me.
However, I think the thing that sticks out for me in this chapter is Tohma-san! I've written him many, many times, but he feels like a completely different person here, yet still the same familiar person I know too. I can't quite explain it well, but he's even more mysterious to me twenty years later!
So thank you for reading so far! I really appreciate it! As always, writing is the one thing that's never given up on me. And I'm thankful to all the people who have been reading and who will read in the future. I have often wondered if I comforted anyone through this, like when I listen to L'arc en Ciel and am grateful they're still around. The soundtrack of my life is played with those songs (along with Initial D's lol). Then out of nowhere, someone will say they've been listening all along.
And that's enough for me to keep going.
Yay! I'm enjoying 2021 if I'm making more waffy than angst! Woo hoo~!
And one more chapter to go!
Love always,
Yui
5/12/2021 9:36:28 PM – Los Angeles
5/13/2021 1:36:28 PM – Tokyo