Each Moment Lost to the Past
Chapter 5
Bella's POV
After third period, someone sidles up to my side so unexpectedly that I half expect it to be Alice again, but when I turn, it's not. It's only after the disappointment hits that I realize I was hoping for it to be her. But Alice had already disappeared, only having said a few words to me at the start of class.
The girl beside me looks very average with a bit too eager of a smile. "Hey, Isabella, right?"
"Bella," I automatically correct, but the girl is already off to her next words.
"Cool, I'm Jessica. You were talking to the Cullen girl this morning right? Was she weird? Did she say anything interesting?"
I look at the other girl sharply, juggling her books as we walk out the door. "Why don't you try talking to them?" I suggest, and Jessica rolls her eyes like that's an absurd thing.
"Well I tried but there were all very standoffish. Only gave one-word answers to anything. You're the only one who seemed to be able to have an actual conversation with one. Do you know what that blonde bitch said to me?"
"Um, well," I try to interject, feeling very uncomfortable with the turn of conversation. Jessica ignores me.
"She said, 'it's impressive that you're flexible enough to have your foot in your mouth and your foot up your ass,' can you believe it?" I bite my lip to hide the instinctual smile that wants to slip out. "Anyway, I'm not surprised how snobby they are with them being so pretty and rich."
An instant rebuttal leaps to my tongue, offended on the Cullens' behalf even though I don't really know them. "Actually, Alice was really nice. I'm sure if you wanted to get to know her, she'd be willing."
"Alice is the little one, right?" Jessica checks, a new light entering her eye that makes me weary.
"Yeah," I say shortly as we come upon the lunchroom. I'm about to try slinking away when the chatty girl wraps her arm through mine, and I jump at the touch.
"Come on, Isabella; you can sit with us and tell us all about Arizona."
She bypasses the line and tugs me into a seat that makes me feel completely under inspection. My tongue feels dry when all the eyes at the table turn to me. The only reason I don't try to make a break for it is that the faces all have friendly smiles. Across the mess hall, I see the Cullens all grouped together, alone, at a table. People seem to be keeping their distance from them, not that I can completely blame the Forkians. Everything about the Cullens make them seem untouchable.
"So, why did you move in with Chief Swan. Is it because of the car accident?" someone immediately asks, freezing me into place. What exactly do these people know of me? Charlie said he only told the Blacks about my memory, didn't he?
I try to calm myself. "Not really," I say slowly, skewing the story as it comes out of my mouth. "Charlie did come down after the accident and I realized during his visit how much I missed him. I figured that moving here over the summer and doing high school here would be a good chance to get to know him better." Half-way true. Plausible. The teens at the table seem to accept it.
"What's Arizona like?" an Asian kid speaks up, and I relax at the relatively safe topic.
"Pretty much the exact opposite of Forks," I offer with small laugh, and I relax as the other kids join in. Okay. This is okay. Just give them answers so they don't go trying to look deeper.
My eyes, trail back over to the Cullens. They are all just sitting there, not eating, looking in every other direction except each other. Alice's focus is on the roll she's picking apart.
….
Jake gapes at me from the floor, game forgotten and controller tipping out of his hand. "So let me get this straight," he says pointing the gaming device at me. "The hot girl you've been talking about for weeks walks up to you and starts chatting you up, and you run away? What's wrong with you?"
"I was about to have a panic attack!" My voice rises to an uncomfortably high tone in my defensiveness.
"You are six new kids at a school that hasn't had any new kids in like, seven years. They are bound to stare. They even stare at us whenever we venture into town even though they like to come down and hang out on the rez on weekends like it makes them cool."
"I hang out on the rez on the weekends," I say, flopping an arm over my face to hide a smile. I kick my feet up and around to dangle them over the back of the couch so that I'm resting fairly comfortably in my upside-down position.
"You also hang out on the rez on the week days. Besides, hanging out on the res doesn't make you cool, hanging out with me does."
"Ah," I nod in a deliberately patronizing way, not even looking at the boy. "So if I went and told my new 'friends' at school that I hang out with you-"
"You'd be popular by lunch."
"Well, see, unfortunately I don't really want to be popular so I guess you'll have to remain my dirty little secret."
Jacob laughs as I peek my eyes out from my arm. He sobers after a moment. "Bella, it's okay for you to draw a little bit of attention. They aren't just going to magically find out your secrets."
I immediately drop my arm back over my eyes. "These are some really nosy people. You should hear some of the things they were saying about the Cullens, I can't imagine what they might be whispering about me."
"Exactly. They're already talking; why let that stop you from making actual friends instead of ones that sound like they'd stab you in the back first chance they get?"
I sigh deeply. He's right. God, how is this kid so perceptive? "I mean, if I was getting friendly with someone as hot as you say Alice is, I'd want everyone to know." And he ruined it. I laugh, and let my legs fall to the side as I roll onto my stomach.
Jacob has a Cheshire grin stretched across his face as he looks at me, videogame still forgotten.
"You are impossible Jacob Black."
"Yet you keep coming back."
"Probably because I've forgotten why I shouldn't," I snark, and the boy pulls an overly dramatic wounded expression.
…
"Um, hey, Alice," I say sheepishly, shifting nervously from foot to foot. She doesn't startle, but she looks up in something like surprise.
"Hello," she says pleasantly.
I pluck anxiously at the binding of my sketchbook, glancing around the small art room so I don't have to keep looking into her familiar and strange eyes. They follow me as I hesitantly slide into the seat that had remained empty the day before. Alice places her sketchbook down, leaning forward in interest, and I catch a glimpse of a detailed drawing of one of her siblings.
Not knowing what else to say or do, I continue to fiddle with the edges of my sketchbook. I can feel the curious eyes of each person as they enter the classroom.
"You don't much like attention, do you?" Alice asks after a moment, shamelessly meeting the eyes of anyone who is brave (or rude) enough to keep staring as she glances around.
"No, not really," I admit. Alice's topaz eyes turn to me and we descend into an awkward silence as the teacher enters the room and starts talking. It's another day of just sketching, and I slowly open my new book to a blank page.
Soon, my white page is covered in dark marks as I drag my pencil across the page. I press down so hard, trying to get the blackest black just right, that the tip breaks. I sigh, reaching over for the small sharpener.
"That's amazing," Alice says suddenly, and I look up to find her leaning over slightly, inspecting my book. "This is in Forks, right?" she asks.
"Um, thanks, and I'm not sure?" It's the small clearing I've dreamed about, a group of five humanoid figures surrounded by towering shadows vaguely wolf shape. A dark river cuts sharply through the background. I'm not sure why I've drawn it at night, but it seemed appropriate.
"You're very talented," Alice says, leaning back in her seat. "You must practice a lot."
"Actually, I didn't really know that I could draw until yesterday," it slips out without me thinking, and I flush slightly at her curious look.
"Really?" she asks.
"I mean," I stammer, reaching instinctively for my book. "I've never really been interested in drawing before. I guess I kind of forgot that I'm halfway decent." I laugh nervously. Alice smiles.
"Well, you should draw more often. You're more than decent," she compliments.
"Thanks," I say again, still blushing to my roots. I search for something to say, desperately wanting the conversation to continue. "Er, can I see yours?"
Before I can think that maybe it's not polite to ask that (disregarding that she looked at mine without asking), Alice is already turning her sketchbook to face me. She drew a deer. A very real deer, up close, and so detailed that I can see the spark of life in its eye.
"It's beautiful," I say, and Alice lights up in happiness.
….
Jessica must have some sort of telepathy or future seeing ability because I make it only halfway down the hall before she pounces, latching onto my arm with a manic look in her eye.
"You talked to Alice Cullen again; what'd she say?" I cringe away from her curled fingers and her strange obsession with the Cullens. Everyone at this school seems to have an odd obsession with the new kids, and I'm supremely grateful that I seemed to have been accepted a lot easier. I'm sure I'd get a lot more interesting if they knew about my amnesia, which is just another reason I'm glad that Charlie hadn't said anything to these gossipy people.
The unnerving part about Jessica's newest event of obsession is that she wasn't even in Alice and I's art class to see us talk.
"How did you…"
"I have eyes everywhere. And a cellphone." She waves me off impatiently, and isn't that a creepy idea. "Now, give me the deets. What'd you talk about?"
"Um, we just talked about art," I admit. Alice had also shown me some of her clothing designs, but I instinctively know that telling Jess of that talent wouldn't be doing the smallest Cullen any favors.
Jessica's expression drops into disappointment, and I guiltily take some satisfaction in that. "Oh. Well, is she any good?"
"She's great," I admit earnestly, and that only seem to disappoint the Forkian even more. What is wrong with these people? Maybe this is what disillusioned Before Bella from visiting Forks, though from what I understand, she spent most of her time on the reservation with Jacob and her..(my?)… our friends there.
"Well, I tried talking to her earlier this morning and she was really weird and wouldn't answer any of my questions! And then she ran away! She was so rude." I blink at the girl in disbelief before, deliberately and slowly, finally shaking off her arm. She turns suspicious eyes to me, not even registering my subtle rebuff. "She talks to you though. What makes you special?"
I flounder under her contemplative stare a bit, feeling my heart quicken and heat to raise to my face in my panic. "We met before earlier this summer," I blurt quickly. "At the store. And we're both new here so I guess that might be why."
I watch in relief as Jessica's face once again drops into disappointment as she shrugs her bag further onto her shoulder. "Anyway, I better get to class. There's a few more stops I need to make on the way."
She disappears, and I let out a breath as shaky as my fingers that try to insert my locker combination.
When I finally manage to exchange my books and shut the door, I jump at the person who had materialized behind it. She leans so casually and naturally against the lockers, that the people around us don't even seem to notice her, which seems impossible to me. The blonde bombshell glaring at me is impossible to miss.
I wilt slightly under Alice's sister's stare.
"Why, are you special?" the girl questions so lowly I would have missed it if she weren't a foot away, slightly leaning into my space.
"What?" I ask, trying my best the suppress the tremble of my hands. I clutch a white-knuckled grip around my books.
She's familiar. So, achingly and startlingly and terrifyingly familiar. I've seen her in my dreams more than once- in the last one she was facing down a werewolf. Have I met these people before, and my subconscious is just inserting them into my odd dreams?
Her golden eyes narrow even further at me. "You don't look like anything special," the blonde comments, still sounding as if she's not really talking to me directly, but I answer anyway.
"Because I'm not," I protest again, though I have a different anxiety humming in my veins than when I denied it with Jessica.
"Alice says you are, and we tend not to bet against Alice." She continues to glower, looking me over head to toe, arms crossed against her chest. She's a different kind of gorgeous than her sister.
"Because she gets those feelings?" The reaction is instantaneous. Golden eyes snap up to mine and bore into me as she rocks back on her heels slightly.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she denies with a blank face.
A shadow suddenly falls over us, so silent that I don't notice until his voice sounds from behind me, causing my heart to rise into my throat. I'm strung so tight, I feel like I might have a panic attack at any moment.
"If you scare Bella-bear away, Rose, our dear sister is going to kill you."
Rose. It's strangely fitting. The blonde Cullen is heart-breakingly beautiful but littered with thorns. Unlike me, Rose doesn't react at all to his sudden appearance.
"We're just having a little chat, Emmett," she dismisses lightly, even though her glower doesn't leave her expression.
Emmett laughs loudly, a bellowing sound that fills the hall and finally draws the attention of the other students. I wouldn't be surprised if Jessica magically appears at my side again before I even make it to my next class.
Emmett smiles disarmingly at me, and maybe I'm not just affected by pretty girls, though it could just be the Cullens. I don't think anyone could be completely unaffected by any of them. They are all so unreal. I can understand the residence of this small town being so enamored by them. They've probably never seen anyone remotely like them.
I only have in my dreams. Because I've seen Emmett too. He was standing right there next to Rose, only he was protective and defensive and ready to fight in my dreams. Even with his large size, right now he doesn't look like he would harm anyone. Oh, he could, sure, but I get the impression of him as more of an overgrown child.
"Well, if you keep chatting up Bella much longer, Alice might get jealous," Emmett teases, and I flush slightly. What's with people and these insinuations?
For the first time, a small smile tilts the corner of Rose's lips up, and just that small gesture seems to entirely change her countenance into something not so dangerous. Definitely not approachable, but someone I might like to get to know in another life.
"I suppose you're right," Rose sighs, and I watch confused as her hand slips into Emmett's and they walk away like any ordinary high school couple.
Emmett waves over his shoulder with a cheeky grin. "By, Bella-boo!"
I shrink slightly as the students, frozen in the hall, turn to stare at me when they're gazes can no longer follow the siblings. I sigh as Jessica magically pops up behind my left shoulder with an excitable inquiry already passing her lips.
A/N: So, exams are coming up so I will more than likely not update next week or maybe the week after. We shall see, though, what happens to my inspiration after my last test.
Please review!
~Silver~