A/N: Just letting everyone know that I have a confirmed full-time job starting mid May. As in, 7 days a week, 6-8 hours a day kind of full-time job. This is mostly good, because I'll be making consistent money again, but not so good regarding my stories. None of them will be indefinitely abandoned, though. I'll continue to write whenever I can, but I expect to be very tired, so chapters will be fewer and further between. I apologize in advance for this, but that's life. I also have to give up my dream of being a full-time author because I've managed to gain another 20 pounds that I didn't need in the last few months of not doing a physical job and my clothes are all magically starting to shrink in an alarming fashion. Ugh. My muse might want me to write, but my body says, bad idea! (shrugs) Coffee commissions will still get first dibs on my free time, though. :D
Too Many Frustrations:
Roughly eight hours after Ahsoka woke up with the knowledge that Anakin had triggered their heartmate bond, the Togruta girl was trying very hard not to give in to the frustration that was curling through her gut like a lava stream as she prowled through the sewer network under Sundari towards their preferred exit closest to the barracks. Rex was right on her heels with twenty-one of the remaining members of Torrent Company (they'd lost a full third of the men in the first day of battle thanks to how many gunships hadn't even made it to the dome to drop off their troops) in their orange helmets following, all there as guards for her as she searched for Maul and his Mando Minions.
Rex had insisted on accompanying her, refusing to let her out of his sight now that he knew just how dangerous Maul was and still dealing with residual mating hormone induced overprotectiveness, which she appreciated the sentiment of, but… the sound of their boots on the duracrete and in the unavoidable puddles of foul smelling backwater, even with as quietly as they'd been trained to walk, messed with her echolocation and she couldn't use it to pinpoint another group of beings that were supposed to be down here as well no matter how much she tried.
Bringing the entire group to a stop had almost worked a few times something like seven hours ago when they first descended into the sewers… or at least she'd thought it had, until she'd realized that the bloody tunnels had a natural echoing effect of their own, so even if she caught the faint tremor of footfalls or voices from afar and headed towards them, there would be nothing there when she got to wherever she'd thought the noises had come from. (Except for that one time she found a whole horde of rats snacking on something that used to have fur and was about the size of a large mooka. Ick)
She'd then spent a considerable amount of time relying on just her Force ability to sense the presence of others, which would have worked if she wasn't chasing another Force user who had the ability to shield his signature and that of those around him... Not to mention also sense her and her men easily so he had no problem staying perpetually ahead of her, resulting in Ahsoka wanting to rip Maul's head off with her teeth when she did manage to corner the giant, Zabrak sized rat.
When that proved fruitless, they'd resorted to walking and mapping the entire underground system of duracrete tunnels, since all records for the sewer system had magically disappeared (no one was surprised), just in the hopes of stumbling upon a camp or at least the remnants of one. But even that hadn't panned out. The only good news was that they'd found (hopefully) every possible entrance to the tunnel system and could now set men to guard all of them.
Maul and the Mandalorians dressed in red and black armour to match him weren't getting into or out of the sewers without a fight.
I hope they starve down here. (A very un Jedi-like sentiment, but she wasn't a Jedi anymore, sooooo, yeah, Ahsoka was feeling a little vengeful and more or less succeeding in not letting herself feel guilty about it.)
As she climbed out of the sewer system and back towards what was left of the day's light, she acknowledged that not being able to find Maul wasn't the only reason she was frustrated. There was also the insidious doubt about being able to make a four-way relationship with Rex, Anakin, and Padmè work.
It had eaten at her for hours, making it hard to concentrate on her job to the point that even the youngest clone with them, called Chaser and someone who hadn't known her before she left the Order, noticed that she seemed much more on edge and distracted than she should be; lunatic Sith Lord hunt or not, and kept asking if she was all right. Only her training in control had prevented her from snapping at him that she was kriffing fine after the fifth ask; he was just showing sweet concern and it wasn't his fault she was descending into a foul mood. (Rex and the older clones knew better to ask unless she was actually bleeding from a mortal wound, familiar with her occasional bouts of hormone driven periods of tense and sullen silence.)
The problem was that she wasn't even sure if the four of them were actually compatible as bedmates. Ahsoka had never looked at Padmè with anything other than the love inspired by a close friendship that was very nearly parental; the senator was ten years older and very wise, after all. Ahsoka simply couldn't imagine herself kissing another woman. At least not in her current mindset. It's possible that could change.
She also couldn't see Rex letting go of his ingrained respect and subtle fear of Anakin enough for the clone to ever touch Padmè with passion either. Anakin was very possessive and protective of his angel (she'd overheard that endearment more than once when the couple forgot how much better her hearing was then theirs) and no one in their right mind would try and intrude on that. She had no doubt that her former Master would skewer anyone who touched Padmè with lust without even a second thought, even if the woman had given her consent first.
Which led to the next problem; Anakin would likely try to be just as possessive of her after they sealed their bond with intimacy and she didn't know if he'd accept Rex as her first and more dominant mate. (When two alpha males ended up sharing a female, a duel almost always ensued for Head Alpha.) Rex, she knew, would have the discipline to restrain his hormone-induced urge to fight Anakin for the right of being her more favoured partner if she asked, but she didn't want to have to. Mainly because if they did fight, even with as strong and skilled as Rex was, he was no match for Anakin in a fury. But also because she wanted Rex as her First. Anakin had Padmè as his First, it wasn't fair if he had her too.
She didn't want Rex to get hurt, probably badly, which meant that she was going to have to do some very delicate finagling of the situation as it played out, possibly even use her bond with Anakin to influence his reactions as much as she could, which wasn't particularly ethical, but what choice did she have? As much as she loved her Master, she knew his temper was an issue that hadn't yet worked itself out despite his years as a Jedi. (The years of war that kept encouraging his aggression weren't helping, either.)
Next problem, assuming she could convince Anakin and Rex to skip (or at least get past) the instinctive 'mine only' phase that Alpha males almost always succumbed to, was whether her two men could be comfortable sharing her at the same time for bed privileges. If Ahsoka was going to have two heartmates, she wanted to indulge in all the benefits that came with, which meant that the men had to be comfortable enough with each other to be naked together and occasionally touch at the very least. She knew that Anakin and Rex were very good friends (or at least, they were before this, which could definitely cause a rift), but how far they were willing to stretch that was one of the main questions that wouldn't leave her alone.
And then it circled back to Padmè again.
Assuming that the men could come to an agreement about shared skin privileges, that would leave the other woman out of their little triangle and that just wouldn't do either. (Not that she thought Padmè would stand for it anyway.) Which meant that Ahsoka was going to have to develop a little bisexuality as well so that she could include Padmè in their bed play comfortably too.
All in all, she almost wished that Anakin had never triggered their mating bond, because this wasn't going to be easy.
But because he had, the other reason Ahsoka was feeling very frustrated right now is that the bond wanted to be completed for real, like, hours ago, and the longer it wasn't the more her insides ached with an empty feeling that was more than just the need to be physically filled by Anakin's cock. It was the need to hold him and be held by him. The need to breathe in his scent and mark him as hers. The need for him to mark and claim her back. The need to feel his heart beat in time to hers as they stared into each other's eyes and other sappy things like that.
She just… needed Anakin.
She'd already spent hours and hours doing all of these things with Rex over the last day and a half before and after taking control of the upper parts of Sundari, so she shouldn't be feeling all of these things so desperately yet. But she was and it was only getting worse. She'd even blocked off her ingrained ability to sense Anakin's wellbeing and whereabouts something like six hours ago just so she could have something of a brain to think with, which her instincts hadn't liked at all.
At least she had Rex with her, as much as it hadn't actually helped with her mission to find Maul. She'd found a million excuses over the hours to brush against him or outright touch him. And he'd done the same, driven by the same need to stay in contact and subtly or not so subtly show his brothers that she was taken.
The clones were too well trained to talk out loud during an important stealth mission, but she had no doubt whatsoever that they were talking to each other via their buckets. She could sense the waves of amusement coming from them that frequently coincided with Rex feeling annoyed or exasperated. The poor man had been and was probably still being teased mercilessly and he couldn't even turn off his helmet comm because they needed to be able to communicate to each other.
Fortunately for Rex, they were done with mapping out the underground of the capital city of Mandalore and had given up on Maul hunting for the day, and thus were now emerging back on the ground level of the city.
The first thing Rex did after gently dismissing the current guard on their exit - who'd been there all day - and ordering a new squad on his comm to take over was tear his helmet off and glare at his men.
Ridge and a few others dared to snigger.
Ahsoka added her glare to Rex's, crossing her arms over her chest as she stood solidly beside her mate, and the new captain of Torrent Company froze and then shrank a little in his armour even as he snapped to attention. The rest of the men very wisely followed his example.
Rex shifted a fraction to bump her shoulder with his arm in thanks, the move barely visible but definitely felt. And then he addressed his brothers with narrowed eyes, scolding them belatedly and helmetless out of the kindness of his heart so that it didn't go on record. "I know the Commander and I are a hot gossip right now across every comm channel in the 332nd and probably even the entire G.A.R., but that doesn't mean that you, who are supposed to be the best two kriffing squads in the legion, can slack off and spend your entire time on a mission teasing me about it."
The men all radiated shame now, especially Ridge, who definitely knew better, being the oldest one there and the only one left that had been with Rex's company since the very beginning of the war. "Apologies, Sir. It won't happen again. From any of us. Promise."
Rex frowned at Ridge and then nodded sharply. "Good. And to help enforce that thought, the lot of you can go find whoever was assigned K.P. duty this evening and take over." (Okay, not entirely kind; their punishment wasn't exactly something they could carry out without the entire legion seeing them as they got their dinner.) (Ahsoka couldn't quite feel sorry for them, though; they did just tease Rex for hours on end.)
Twenty-one highly trained and experienced clones didn't quite groan at having to do a shiny's job, but Ahsoka could sense the suppressed urge from all of them. She smiled with lots of teeth at them as they, in that uncanny way they had sometimes, all turned as one to look at her to confirm the order. "You heard the Commander," she said with false sweetness, reminding them for what felt like the hundredth time already that she wasn't technically their superior officer anymore, and finished off with a durasteel tone, "Now get going."
The well-meaning-but-stubborn-to-their-very-core men nodded at her once respectfully, again, in sync, and Ridge answered for all of them, "Yes, Commander."
Ahsoka only just refrained from rolling her eyes as the elite infantry troopers about-faced and marched off in the direction of their borrowed barracks in perfectly straight rows like stiff shinies instead of goofing off like they normally would have after being dismissed. "Younger siblings," she huffed. "A pain in the shebs, but you still gotta love them."
Rex slanted her a sideways look. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?"
She shrugged and started walking along the street, leaving the deep manhole behind as a fresh squad of troopers jogged towards them to guard it. "They've always been like brothers to me, younger or older depending on who, but it's official now."
Rex made a pleased sound as he caught up to her and caught her hand in his own. "I like to hear that, hear the confirmation that you're mine." And then he was pulling her into the more shadowy alcove between two buildings – a restaurant and a jewellery store – as soon as the squad of plain white shinies passed them.
Ahsoka went willingly. And even more willingly into his arms when he invited her into them after leaning back against the wall and hooking his helmet to his belt. She shuddered out a sigh as she sank into his hard armoured body, feeling safe and loved in his tight embrace. "Force, I needed this," she mumbled as she snuggled her cheek against his chestplate and wrapped her arms around his waist as most of the unsettling frustration drained out of her, leaving her feeling much more relaxed.
"I know," he rumbled against her montral, bending down a little to press his cheek against it. She looked up, a touch surprised, and he flashed her a rueful grin. "You think I don't know that the only way to calm you down when you've been practically vibrating with tension for the last four hours is to get you in a cuddle?" His words were accompanied by a gentle petting motion down her back lek that instantly made her bones melt.
She huffed and somehow sagged a little more into Rex, a faint purr starting in her throat from the pleasure. She wished he wasn't wearing armour right now, but she'd make do. At least she could still hear his steady heartbeat. "You know me too well, Rexi."
"No such thing," he said firmly, making her huff with amusement again. "Aside from the obvious that we didn't find Maul, what's wrong?"
"That's not enough?"
Now he huffed, amusement and affection like a soothing, cool stream down their bond, and the petting caresses continuing. "Normally, yes, if you were Anakin. But you're not, so what else?"
"Anakin, that's what else," she admitted.
"Ah," he breathed, a wealth of understanding in the sound.
"He started something in that dream that isn't going to let me settle until he finishes it in person," she continued. "Just thinking about him makes my hormones start jumping."
"Hmmmmmm. I can't make our fearless General appear for you, but I can certainly help with easing your hormones."
Hearing and feeling the eager willingness of her mate to 'sacrifice' himself for the cause, Ahsoka looked up again and found his beautiful amber gold eyes twinkling back at her. "My heroic martyr," she intoned dryly, and then rose on her toes to kiss him.
His arms lifting her made it easier and their kiss went from playful to almost desperate in a heartbeat.
Ahsoka moved her arms to around his neck and legs to around his waist, kissing him hard, nipping his lower lip and demanding he open up for her. Rex's tongue met hers a fraction later and he groaned to echo her own sound of need.
They kissed like they were starving for each other – which was exactly how it felt – for endless, pleasure-filled minutes. She ground against him, gasping at the sensation of hard armour on sensitive parts as their feelings bounced freely back and forth along their bond. Rex's naughty and praising thoughts alone were enough to light her up from the inside out.
But it all came to a screeching halt when a sudden thought that was not her own and definitely not Rex's many odes to her personage burst past her mental shield. "Snips! Where are you?!"
Ahsoka gasped and pulled back from Rex as he looked at her with startled eyes and his comm chose that moment to start beeping. "Anakin?" she thought back.
Rex shifted his right hand off her ass just long enough to answer the comm on his other vambrace. "Yeah?" he bit out a little roughly.
"Snips!" Anakin sounded triumphant. "I'm here!"
"Sir, the General just landed at the docks in his interceptor. Where should I take him?" Jesse said, sounding justifiably surprised since there'd been no word that Anakin was coming.
"You're only a little late this time, Master," she thought back a little wryly.
"I did my best."
"I'm actually impressed," she admitted, considering that she knew he'd been on Coruscant not that long ago and getting away from the Council and the Chancellor, probably without permission, hadn't likely been easy.
"Heeeee. Finally."
"I'll meet you shortly, Anakin. I'm glad you're here."
"Okay. And so am I."
Ahsoka and Rex looked at each other through all of that (which actually only took a handful of seconds, thoughts being much faster to convey than actually speaking them). He flinched slightly at the apologetic look in her eyes, but then nodded in reluctant acceptance as he let her slide down his body. "Bring him to H.Q., Jesse. We'll meet you there shortly." Then he looked at her somewhat grimly as he flicked off the comm. "Why did I hear Anakin in my head too?"