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6. The training
Madge hasn't felt so relaxed in years. She has a purpose now. There is not a shadow of doubt in her body.
"Ms. Undersee", says Darius next to her, but she is far too into her own thoughts to hear him. "Madge", he tries once again, coming into her field of view and slightly startling her out of her trance-like state.
"Hi, Darius".
"It is getting late. Do you want me to walk with you?". Right, the sky is already a dark blue, the curfew, the deserted streets. Tomorrow will be a school day again. Madge takes a look around the square and finds they are the only people in sight. Even though the biggest dangers of District 12 - the reaping, working at the mines and starvation- did not apply to Madge, she would not feel safe walking alone at night. Attracting the resentment of people is not exactly the best part about being the mayor's daughter.
Madge nods and they start to walk in silence, just as before. But before even leaving the square, an idea appears on Madge's mind.
"Darius, you have to train to become a Peacekeeper, right?". This time is her who startles him, who wasn't expecting hearing another word from her until they parted ways at her doorstep. Clearing his throat, he starts to answer what he undoubtedly categorizes as a very strange question coming from the mayor's daughter.
"Well, yes, there is an academy and stuff…".
"And you learn how to fight". It is not a question now, but an affirmation said with a level of determination that is beginning to feel very out of character, or so Darius thinks. Madge, on the other hand, looks at him expectantly, trying to figure out if the plan starting to take shape in her head makes any sense at all.
"Ms. Undersee", says Darius with an insecure tone that Madge had never heard from him. "I know it was my suggestion to escort you, but I don't actually expect having to fight anyone tonight".
Madge smiles, realizing how her questions might sound to someone outside her head.
"Please, call me Madge. Ms. Undersee sounds so… old and official". Also, if her plan was to have any success, it was probably useful to have Darius on a first name basis. "And I'm not worried about that, just curious", she shrugs, mixing the truth with a lie with the hope of hiding her intentions from Darius until she was sure she could trust him. Darius doesn't look too convinced with her reasoning, but continues to explain anyway.
"We do learn some fighting techniques, how to handle weapons and traps as well". Madge nods, as this confirms her expectations. There is some ground basis to her idea now.
"How long ago was your training? Like, when did you graduate?". Darius stops in his tracks and Madge, stopping as well, realizes too late that she pushed it too much, and she failed to achieve the casual tone she was aiming for.
"Is this a job interview? Do you want me to be your bodyguard? Because, as flattered as I am, I'm quite sure that's not allowed".
"No, Darius. Like I said, I'm curious". Darius nods and resumes walking, but he doesn't say anything else. Madge trying to follow in his steps, wonders if she lost her opportunity.
"Ms. Under- Madge", he finally says, "what do you really want to know?".
"I…", she begins. She decides he won't believe her if she lies and lets out a resigned sigh. "I want to know if you could train me". Darius' eyes widen in surprise.
"Train you? I thought you said you weren't worried about having to fight in the streets of the district".
"I know, but I want to feel prepared. I don't like being afraid of going out and… you know, unexpected things have happened before". She tries to keep it vague. She knows she can't disclose her motivations against the Capitol -he is a Peacekeeper after all-, and if she tells him about volunteering there is no way he will agree to help her.
"Is this about Katniss?". He sounds a little condescending, which annoys Madge. She was clearly talking about the reaping, but the way Darius asked made it sound as if she was throwing a fit because her favorite toy was broken.
"Why would it be about Katniss?", she asks defensively. Darius looks at her with his eyebrows raised. Madge takes a deep breath and decides, once again, she has to trust him to some degree if she wants his help. "Okay, maybe a little".
"You don't have to worry about Katniss. She will win. Besides, it's not like you could fight for her." Well, not anymore. But she could fight for someone.
"What if it's me next year?". It will be me next year. "Or the year after that?".
"That is not going to happen. The odds are in your favor".
"You don't know that", she counters, exasperated. "It just takes one slip. I have more than that." The memory of her bantering with Gale on the Reaping Day comes back to her. Why did everyone seem to think there was no way she would be next? "All I want is to be able to stand a chance. Just in case. To feel a little less frightened the next time a name is called, or the next time I have to go watch in the square". She was telling the truth this time, maybe not the whole truth, but a big part. She wanted control. She wanted courage. But she couldn't do it alone. While the old Madge would have kept to herself, trying to avoid being a burden, and felt desperate for not being able to do anything on her own, this new Madge knew that she needed help.
"You don't have to go to the square".
"Well, I could stay home forever, but that would still not save me from the Games". Madge knows she is starting to walk in dangerous water, but as they get closer to her house, she is running out of time.
"And learning how to fight would?".
Madge doesn't reply, as it's not exactly salvation from the Games what she's after. She is not quite sure about what she will do in the Games, but she has a year to figure it out. Maybe it was a mistake to seek out help from Darius. She is certain that he will not imprison her or expose her, but he wasn't showing any sign of interest in her idea.
They are now in front of the garden that leads to the mayor's house. Madge looks at Darius, actually taking in his appearance for the first time. With his helmet in his hand, as he usually has, and his white uniform with a light layer of coal dust, he looks… scared. Immediately, she realizes she has been asking for too much without actually offering anything.
"I know it's not very legal and I could pay you for the risk you'd be taking… but I understand if you don't want to do it". Darius' boyish smile quickly returns to his face.
"It's not me getting caught what worries me, and it's definitely not about money". Madge blinks a few times in confusion. Is Darius worried about her, someone who before today has never spoken more than a couple of times to him? Maybe he is. Even though they barely know each other, Madge knows he is kind and, well, not exactly loved, but certainly not-hated in District 12. That was a lot to say for a Peacekeeper. In any case, he didn't seem very keen on helping Madge. With a sigh, she starts walking towards her house.
"Let me know if you change your mind", she says, disappointed.
"Madge", says Darius, getting her to stop. "It would be my honor to train you, if that's what you want". With a stomach turn, Madge retraces her steps back to the Peacekeeper.
"I would like to start as soon as possible. We have to find a place".
"I know somewhere. Meet me behind the bakery tomorrow, when you're done with school". It is as if some sort of switch has flipped within him, and this sudden change of heart turns Madge's initial excitement into nervousness and suspicions.
"Don't you have Peacekeeper duties?".
"I can keep the peace behind the bakery".
"That's not where we will train though, isn't it?".
"Of course not. Just be there, preferably in comfortable clothes". Madge evaluates the situation for a second. Why had he changed his mind so fast? Does it matter? she thinks, I don't have many alternatives. The only friend that could help her is thousands of miles away fighting for her life, and it also happens to be the only friend she has. She needs to make more friends if she wants to pull this off, and Darius is one of the few people in District 12 that has some idea about fighting, doesn't hate her and has already agreed to risk himself to help her, whatever the reasons.
"It's a deal", Madge says with a nod.
"I never thought of you as much of a scheming mastermind, Ms. Undersee".
Madge shrugs. "Me neither. But I also never thought of you as a teacher so I guess everyone can be a surprise".
Darius lets out a nervous laugh, as if he is not convinced by Madge's explanation. "Goodbye, Madge", he says before putting his Peacekeeper helmet.
"Goodbye, Darius", she replies as she turns to go into her house.
Once inside, Madge takes a deep breath. She tries to conjure the feeling she had in the square just a few minutes ago, the security, the determination. She doesn't want to listen to the thousand reasons her brain might have to why this is a terrible idea. She will go through with it, no matter what.
Madge goes up the stairs and directly into her bathroom. As she strips from her clothes, she inspects the fabric that was serving as bandage in her thigh. The adrenaline she's been experiencing is probably the main reason why she hasn't felt too much pain from it during the day. Once she removes the bandage, she drops it in the sink and, trying to keep her emotions at bay, looks closely at the wound. Satisfied with the progress, she gently cleans it and puts a clean bandage to cover it. She will have to be careful tomorrow if she doesn't want the wound to reopen.
While she tucks herself under the covers, she feels her heart rate increase once again. She will have a hard time sleeping, which makes her even more anxious, given that she needs energy for whatever training Darius will throw at her. Turning in her bed, she thinks of Katniss and how, in a couple of days, she would officially enter the Games. Madge remembers the parallel she drew between them, how she declared both of them would live. They will both begin training in the next 24 hours and that makes her feel a little closer to Katniss, as if Madge could increase Katniss' odds of survival. She clings to that thought until she drifts to unconsciousness.
The next day at school, the hours cannot go fast enough for Madge. Although she has been the target of whispers and pointed looks her whole life, this time is different, way more obvious. During the past years, people had stopped placing her at the centre of any gossips, since she was never at parties, or gatherings, or informal conversations in the backyard. Her friendship with Katniss sometimes still received some frowns, but pretty much everyone was used to seeing them together every now and then. Apparently, she was close enough to Katniss to receive some pity now, but it is mostly rekindled mockery what she finds in the hallways. However, Madge is different now, and she refuses to look away every time she catches someone staring at her. That is, until she finds herself staring into the steel-cold eyes of Gale Hawthorne.
Holding his gaze, Madge can't decipher why he seems to be everywhere since the reaping day. He is certainly not looking at her with pity, but it's not anger either. As she thinks if she should do something to acknowledge his presence instead of making a staring contest in the middle of the hallway, he walks past her as if he had never seen her in the first place. He just loves a dramatic exit, doesn't he?
It is not until she sits at their usual table for lunch that Madge feels the full weight of Katniss' absence. She stares into the empty space that used to be the silent silhouette of her friend. Madge fights away tears.
She goes from class to class the rest of the day, noticing less about the whispers and stares and more about the many ways in which Katniss used to be a crucial piece in her routine. Even if she comes back from the Games, Madge knows that will never be the same. By the time school is over, the nausea has installed in her stomach and all she wants to do is go to her bathtub and feel the release of the blade against her skin. But she won't do it. She has to meet Darius. She is not that person anymore.
She goes to the bathroom and waits until she figures most of the students are already well beyond the school grounds. She checks once again the wound in her thigh, then changes clothes into some old sweat pants and a hoodie she used to wear to help her mother in the garden. Then, she brings what she considers the best idea she has had so far.
The 72nd Hunger Games were won by a Career girl from District 2. When the Victory Tour came to Madge's house, with the cameras and the mentors, everyone seemed to have a heart-attack as soon as they saw Madge. Apparently, blonde hair was completely despised in the Capitol that season. So despised they couldn't bear to see Madge. For a few hours, she thought that she had won the lottery of not having to spend a single minute in the presence of Capitol citizens or the scary new victor. Unfortunately, one of the Capitol citizens had an extra wig that was not as outdated as blonde hair, and she gave it to Madge. It was ebony black, and it had an intricate design that made it extra-heavy.
This morning, before coming to school, she dug the old wig out of her closet and bade it look like a normal bob cut. She had to trim it up to her chin to get rid of all the Capitol eccentricity. She didn't look exactly Seam with it but at least now she didn't look like the mayor's daughter at all.
When she arrives to the bakery, Darius is already there. At first, he barely looks up from where he stands, leaning against a tree, but when she stands right in front of him, he raises his head in confusion until their eyes meet.
"Wow. That's a great disguise".
"I figured I don't need people wondering what I'm doing in the Seam".
"Smart. Come on".
They navigate the alleys and secondary streets of the Seam before stopping at a barely standing single-story building in the outskirts of the district. The only door on sight had a warning sign about structural weaknesses and a lock, and the windows were between black with coal dust and blocked with wooden boards.
"What is this place?".
"It used to be a warehouse of mining tools. Now… it's a pile of rubble where I come to read when I don't feel like talking, which is not very often".
"So, you put the no enter sign".
"Sharp as a tack, aren't you?".
Darius unlocks the door and walks in, with Madge closely following his steps. The building has only one large room, which nature has mostly reclaimed as its own. Bushes and flowers had broken through the pavement and the walls, and there are several holes in the roof. Madge was sure that if someone wanted to go in, they wouldn't have to try too hard to make a hole in one of the brick walls.
They stand for a few seconds in the middle of the room, Darius waiting while Madge looks around. The old warehouse clearly had seen better days, but it would do. With a final nod, she appears to approve the place and turns to Darius again.
"A few ground rules. No weird flirting. It makes me uncomfortable", she says, making Darius chuckle.
"It will be very hard to restrain myself", he replies, earning a stern frown from her side. "I'm joking, Madge. That was the last one, I promise".
"Very funny. No telling anyone", she continued.
"I don't know if you have noticed, but as a Peacekeeper, I don't have a super active social life. Plus, I wouldn't risk any of our necks".
"Perfect, then we are all set".
"Can I add something?", he says with a small smile. "Don't have very high expectations. I know my training was not that long ago, but District 12 doesn't give me a lot of practice".
Madge returns his smile and shakes her head.
"OK, but you better have low expectations as well. I'll probably be terrible at it", she says, suddenly very self-conscious. Her determination falters for a second, but with her newfound will power, she pushes her doubts to the very back of her mind.
"Fair enough ". His reassuring expression helps her fully regain her confidence. She is doing this.
"Let's do it".
"First lesson. This was a very stupid idea. Don't trust people that easily, even less if they are guys with a uniform". She knows he is right, but she still rolls her eyes.
"Did I come here to learn how to fight or to get a lecture?".
Darius looks at her with a slightly shocked expression that makes Madge feel embarrassed. Maybe she was going too far in trying to become more assertive, but she was scared she could go back to her old ways if she didn't radically change.
"Before teaching you anything about actual fights you have to get stronger". With that, he starts a very long explanation about muscle groups, which Madge vaguely recognizes from school and the books she had scanned the previous days.
After that, he teaches her how to do a complete routine of workout. They go through all of the exercises she has to do in her gym class, but he doubles or triples them with more complicated and difficult ones. Madge is not sure for how long they go through different types of routines and series until Darius seems satisfied, but every muscle in her body is sore by then and the light that comes in through the holes in the roof announces the sunset.
"I think that we are done for the day", he says. Despite his warning earlier about being out of practice, he didn't look tired.
"But when do you get to the part where I learn how to punch someone?", Madge says as she manages to catch her breath.
"So much anger", he replies, this time less shocked with Madge's new attitude. As I said, first you need some strength. So, practice the routines for a week, and then I'll see what else you could handle. You don't need me for the practice, and it's for the best that we don't see each other too often."
"How many hours?".
"Hours, in plural?", Darius smiles. "Preferably try to not twist or break anything inside your body. Other than that, knock yourself dead". It is quite obvious for him that she will not resist more than one hour, but Madge has a different opinion.
He offers to walk her to the bakery, but she declines. Madge has a fairly good sense of direction, and has been raised around multiple maps of the district. It is also way safer if they are not spot together. Darius leaves first, and she takes a few more minutes to regain energy and inspect the place closer. However, she doesn't wait too long before heading home, fearing that she won't make it to town before dark.
She reaches the bakery right before the sun starts disappearing behind the horizon. Taking advantage of the growing shadows of the sunset, she takes out the wig before turning the corner to access the main streets of the town. Fortunately, the bakery is not too far from her house, and she arrives to her back door when there is still light, well ahead of the curfew. She is about to climb the steps to the door when she spots Gale leaning against the wall next to the stairs, covered in the shadows.