Chapter 6: There's Always a Choice

Emma sat nervously in the car as Neal drove them through the streets of Seattle. She wasn't sure if he was going to allow their normal Tuesday routine after the failure at the bank yesterday, Henry was still missing, and his current anger at her was still raging, but they had to move houses faster than normal and groceries would be required.

Neal allowed her one outing a month to buy groceries, he would drop her off at the front of the store and she would get one hour in order to complete the groceries and be waiting for him outside for pick up.

She and Henry had worked out a plan that if they got separated after this current job, they would meet at the store on Tuesday at 10am. She only hoped he could get Killian to the right place. He had memorized the address a few months earlier when they returned to Seattle. Henry was a bright boy and could remember even the tiniest details after learning something.

The car came to a stop and Emma jerked her head up, looking around to see where they were. She hadn't realized they had already arrived. "Be outside in an hour, and don't make me come in looking for you."

She nodded, grabbing her list and her purse, and hurrying out of the car. She knew she needed to get all the items on the list quickly so that she would have time to find Henry and still get back to Neal in time, so she ran around the store, putting things into her cart as fast as she could. At the end of each aisle, she looked at the front door, hoping to see Henry. She was getting nervous as five minutes turned into fifteen and she still had not seen him.

At 10:30 she heard his voice, "Are you sure you even know what you are shopping for, lad?" Her feet carried her quickly to the next aisle, stopping in her tracks when she saw her son.

"Henry." She squealed, dropping to her knees as soon as her son wrapped his arms around her neck. "Are you ok? Did you sleep alright?"

"I'm ok, Killian let me sleep with him and Rogers."

Emma looked up at Killian, "Rogers is still alive?" She asked with a smile, happy to hear that the dog had been with Killian the past ten years.

She got to her feet, scrambling with her cart to pull it to the back of the store, Killian stalking behind her. When they reached the back corner she turned, facing him and the anger that was growing on his face.

"What the hell is this?" He inquired.

"I'm sorry, I told Henry to meet me here when we were separated. I come here one Tuesday a month to buy groceries. But Neal will be back in thirty minutes, so I have to be quick."

Killian grabbed her by the arm, and she jerked backwards away from him. He retreated, a look of concern on his face. "Emma, you have to come with me. We'll find some other way to get to Neal. But you need to start talking."

"No, if he comes here and I'm not outside, he's going to tear this store apart." She said anxiously.

Henry was standing between them, looking down at his watch. "I'll take that chance." He said with a sigh and he moved quickly, reaching behind his back, and pressing the cold metal against her wrists and snapping the cuffs closed.

"Mom." Henry cried.

"Killian, don't do this, Neal will think I ran." She cried.

His eyes narrowed and he leaned toward her. "I'm sorry Emma, but you told me to trust my gut. And right now, with the things you and the kid keep saying about Neal, that tells me taking you in is the right answer."

He pushed her toward the door, Henry following behind his mother, gripping onto her jacket. He jerked the back door open to his car and pushed her head down to get her in the back seat, Henry glided in beside her wrapping his arms around her waist. He slammed the door behind him, standing at the front of the car talking to someone on his phone. The look on his face told her it wasn't a pleasant conversation. He got in the car, grumbling to himself before pulling out of the parking lot.

He didn't speak as he drove, but he also didn't take the road into the city, so he wasn't taking her to the precinct.

They pulled up to a house and he parked the car, the front door opened, and she recognized the man standing on the porch staring at them anxiously.

Captain Nolan.

Killian collects her from the car, she noticed that Henry had grabbed Killian's hand and was walking next to him. "It's ok Henry, he's a cop, you can trust him." She heard Killian whisper and her boy nodded at him.

She stood in front of her old Captain, the man who had walked her down the aisle at her wedding and gave her away to Killian and she saw disappointment and anger. He turned, disgusted, and entered the house.

"Henry, how about you and I get some snacks? Are you hungry?" David offered her son and the boy looked at his mom nervously.

"You go, buddy." She said with a smile.

As soon as the two had left the room, Killian turned toward her. "How could you keep a kid in that environment, Emma?"

"I didn't have a choice."

"There's always a choice." He said smugly.

"Don't judge me, you don't understand."

"No, I truly don't. I begged you for a child. Begged you Emma. But I wasn't good enough to sire your boy? But Neal Cassidy? That's who you chose to father your child?"

Emma's heart broke, she wanted to be angry at him. She wanted to lash out and cause him pain. He didn't understand, he could never understand. She didn't understand. It broke her heart to speak about it, she couldn't find the words to tell him what she had been through. She was broken, used, and dirty now.

"Ok, Killian, out. The boy's out back, go watch him." It wasn't an option; Emma knew it was a command and Killian's eyes left hers as he stalked out of the room.

"You have ten minutes to make me understand how any of this is happening right now." She frowned, dropping into the chair behind her, looking down at her handcuffed hands and sobbing. David's voice softened. "Emma, I can help you, but you have to talk."

She sucked in a breath, wiping at her tears with her hands. "I don't even know where to begin."

"Why don't we start with why you left ten years ago."

"I had just left the apartment with some of my things, Killian was giving me the car, so I took the keys, I figured he'd let me use the car for a few days while I went up North. I was going to stay in Vancouver and figure out my next move." He nodded, watching her intently as she spoke, knowing David how she did, she knew he was examining her body language for any tell of deceit.

"When I got in the car, Neal was in the back seat. He had a gun to my head." She choked out the last words. "He wanted to know where Killian was. He didn't know he lived in the apartment."

"Why did he want Killian?"

"He wanted payback for the bank job. Said Killian killed his partner. So, I told him I would take him to him. I just needed to get away from the apartment before Killian got home. I drove to a random neighborhood and we just sat there." She blew out a breath, trying to calm herself. "Neal was getting angry the longer it took him to get there, and I panicked. I told him to kill me instead."

David narrowed his eyes, so she met them with fury. She needed him to understand what happened. "He told me to drive, that I could serve his purpose. So, we drove out of town. He was staying in this shitty place outside of the city." She watched as David's shoulders sagged, she was sure because he remembered the intel they received also.

"When we got there, I thought he was going to kill me. I wish he had. God, David, I've wished every day for ten years that he killed me that night." She sobbed. "When he was finally done…" She hung her head in shame. "When he finished with me, I thought he would put me out of my misery. But…." She looked away. "He told me that he wanted me to be the one to kill Killian. Said it would become his new purpose." David became anxious and Emma held up her handcuffed hands.

"He's safe, besides, if I wanted to kill him, I would have done it already."

"Emma, I'm sorry, what happened to you is terrible, but why, why would you stay with him for ten years. You had police training, why didn't you try and get away?"

"I did at first, actually managed to escape twice in the first year. He broke three ribs and both of my arms the first time, just to show me that he could." She frowned, her eyes searching for the floor.

"Emma."

She shook her head. "After Henry was born, he told me he would kill Henry if I tried to leave. He took me on jobs, gave me an unloaded gun, and had me as his lookout. We robbed banks across the country. Always staying away from Seattle, never showing our face."

"Can you remember dates and places? We can reach out to them, get some info."

"I can try. He doesn't let me out of the basement except for once a month to grocery shop and every evening to make dinner."

"Did you have an unloaded gun at the last job?"

Emma knew why he was asking; Neal had told her a cop had died. "The last couple of months Neal has been testing me, pushing me to see how far I'll go."

"Was it loaded, Emma?" He asked again impatiently.

"Yes, it was loaded, but I swear to God I never shot a single bullet."

"We never found your gun."

"I tossed it in the dumpster when I hit the alley, right before they arrested me."

"Dammit, we always tell them to check the damn dumpsters, that's police work 101."

"And yet they never do it." She shrugged.

"What's Neal gonna do now that you're gone?"

"He's gonna be pissed. He was already angry that Henry was missing. He has Felix and Pete looking all over town for him."

"Felix and Pete?"

"Really awful men he associates with when we are in Seattle. He's here for a big job. He wanted it to be big, so that it would draw out Killian. He said we were gonna go down in a blaze of glory and I was gonna take Killian down with me."

"Do you have the details? Something we can use?"

"He told me enough of it, but Killian's in danger if I don't get back to Neal. He'll go after him on his own. You have to put me back out there."

"Emma, I don't see how we can do that."

"He knows we got close in the last job to getting caught. I convinced him that I got away by posing as a hostage, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have gotten picked up while shopping today. But you wouldn't have enough to charge me, so you'd have to let me go, right?"

"Emma…this is a dangerous game."

"You think I don't know that? I've been living in hell for ten years. There are things…" She bit back tears. "I need this to end with him in prison or a bullet between his eyes."

He stood from the couch and crouched down in front of her, fiddling in his pocket for a pair of handcuff keys and unbinding her hands. "I'm so sorry for everything you've been through Emma."

"You believe me?"

"You were always like a daughter to me. I've revisited our last conversation so many times over the years, trying to figure out what I could have done that would have kept you from fleeing. After a while, I convinced myself that you were dead, there was no other reason that you wouldn't have made contact with one of us. Maybe if we had tried to find you, listened to Killian's concerns in the beginning... Maybe."

"Stop, you couldn't have known."

"Have you told Killian any of this?"

Her hands balled into a fist. "No. I don't even know where to start. I can't even look him in the eye without feeling complete shame."

"Emma you have nothing to be ashamed of, the things that happened to you…" He hung his head.

"I was a cop; I should have done more to fight him."

"You're alive because of your survival skills." His hand touched hers and she tried not to flinch. She did that when anyone touched her now. Part of that survival skill she assumed. "I'm going to go make some calls, you should talk to Killian."

She sighed, dreading the conversation that was in front of her. She couldn't bare to watch the love they once had burn out forever when he found out who she had become.

"It could be some time before your mom is ready to go, you look tired. Did you want to try and sleep a bit?

The boy looked around nervously.

"It's alright Henry, I'll be here. Your mom is safe. No harm will come to either of you under my watch."

"You promise."

Killian bent down, meeting his eyes. "Did your mom tell you that she and I used to be partners when we were cops?" He nodded that he knew. "Well, partners always have each other's back. Always. It's a rule."

"But she's not your partner anymore."

"She will always be my partner." He said honestly, his voice cracking as he spoke. "No matter what has happened in these last ten years, I'll always protect her. And I know how much you mean to her, which means I'll protect you too."

"My dad's not a nice guy, he hurts my mom a lot." He whispered.

Killian exhaled, the ache in his heart causing him physical pain. "Does he hurt you too?"

"Never, one time when I accidentally dropped a glass on the floor and spilled my juice everywhere, my dad came after me. It was the only time I saw my mom hit my dad." He frowned and Killian put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "He hit her really hard that night. She didn't get up for a long time, but he never tried to hit me again." The boy started to cry. "It's my fault."

"Hey…" He pulled the boy toward his chest. "None of this is your fault."

"Will I be a bad guy too? Because of who my dad is."

Killian felt an ache in his chest and sighed heavily. "Can I share something with you? Something that I don't talk about to a lot of people." The boy nodded. "My dad was a bad guy too. He drank a lot. He would spend every penny we had on drink and gambling. And when he would lose, he would take it out on my mom. When I was a young lad, he did something really awful in a drunken stupor. Something he couldn't take back. And my mother didn't come home that night."

The boy sniffled against his chest. "My brother Liam and I were left to take care of each other." He pulled the boy's face up to meet his. "The point is, I could have become a much different man than I am today, I could have become my father, but instead I chose to become a cop. You know why?"

The boy shook his head. "Because someone has to be there to protect those that can't protect themselves. I couldn't let my mother's life mean nothing. I chose to be a good man. And you can too. Your father may have sired you, but he doesn't make you who you are."

He heard someone clear their throat behind him, and he looked up to see Dave standing in the door frame. "The lad wants to take a quick nap if that's alright." He said softly.

"Absolutely, I have a guest room just across the hall."

The small boy lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Killian's neck, and squeezing him tightly. Killian felt the air knocked out of his lungs, not from the force of the boy, but the sheer wreck he was doing on his emotions. He hesitated before wrapping his arms around the child's small frame, returning the hug. He patted his back and stood from his spot, looking over at Dave and frowning.

"I think you need to go talk to Emma." He offered quietly before guiding the boy down the hall.

Killian leaned against the wall, not sure that he would be able to contain his emotions when faced with his wife, but he needed to hear her out. No matter what she had to say.

When he entered the office, Emma was seated on the small chair at the front of the room, staring at her hands. "Henry is going to take a nap." She looked up, offering him a slight smile.

"Good, he doesn't sleep well." She looked around the room anxiously. "Was he…was he ok last night?"

"After I pried him out of the fortress he built in the corner of my living room, he slept in the bed with Rogers all night."

She frowned. "Yeah he does that sometimes when he's in a new place."

"That's totally normal." He said smugly.

She changed the subject quickly. "How is the old boy?"

"Still thinks he's a puppy." He said with a somber tone, wishing they were having this conversation under other circumstances.

"I'm glad Henry got to meet him."

Killian hated the small talk, but as much as he wanted to have a mundane conversation, they were getting nowhere.

"Emma…" Her name hung in the air. Almost a plea from his lips to end his misery.

"I guess I should start from the beginning."

Killian listened in horror as she described the night she was taken from the apartment. The night Neal ripped her away from her life. He kept his jaw tight, his expression frozen as she told him how she traded her life for his. Cursing herself to a life of hell for the last ten years. He knew she was leaving things out; he could tell when she would start to shift in her seat, fidgeting with her hands as she stuttered over her words.

"Henry." He muttered. "I don't understand why you would have Henry with him."

"Killian…" She swallowed hard, her eyes filling with tears. He didn't want to hear it, he knew what she was going to say, he'd known it since she began her tale, but he didn't want her to speak it into reality once he heard her voice.

Neal never gave her a choice.

"I should have gone after you. I knew you wouldn't just run off."

"This isn't your fault. You had no way of knowing what happened."

"I might have found you, stopped this, maybe he wouldn't have…" The steely wall he tried so hard to erect, crumbled. He felt his legs buckle beneath him, reaching for the wall to steady the rocking of his body. Emma walked toward him.

"Hey, look at me." Her voice was like a magnet for his eyes, seeking her out immediately. "Even in the worst moments, you were there. I'd find you out in another world, to help give me the strength to get through it."

The dam broke, the tears falling against his face, he reached out to touch her face and she recoiled, pulling away from him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"Sorry, I don't like to be touched." She whispered. Of course, she didn't, she'd spent ten years being touched by a man who raped and beat her for sport.

"Emma, you can't go back to him."

"Killian, if I don't he's going to kill you."

"I don't bloody care about that. Let him come for me. I'll rip his heart out with my own hands." He cursed, trying not to direct his rage in her direction. He balled his hands into fists. "You're not going back to him; Henry's been telling me about all the times you were clumsy and broke bones." He held his hands up in air quotes. "Actual physical bones, Emma." She rubbed her elbows, her breathing increasing. "How did no one notice this?"

"We moved around a lot, went to different hospitals. There was one lady, Mary Margaret, she tried to help me. I happened to see her twice, and she knew I was in trouble, but Neal told her I was fine and got me out of the hospital before she could bring anyone to talk to me."

"Do you think she'd remember you?"

"Probably, why?"

"Because I want this bastard to pay for what he's done to you. Anyone who can corroborate your story makes that easier."

"Killian, I have to go back to Neal. Otherwise, you're in danger. Henry's in danger."

"I'll protect you both, you don't have to do this alone anymore. I'm not letting him anywhere near my wife."

"Killian, I haven't been your wife for ten years."

"Actually…" he said as he stared up at the ceiling. "You left town before you signed the papers, so technically…" He shrugged. "Still my wife."