Mr. Clean and Chef Boyardee 6
Author's note: when you run out of Doritos but don't have money for more and you are sad and feel pathetic lulz but it is okay because you don't want to go out anyways due to depression/anxiety so you just hide in the dark writing bad fanfics okay hi
Mr. Clean awoke. It was the first time neither he nor the chef did something horrific to wake each other. He sat up.
Suddenly a bomb went off making yet another large hole in the wall knocking it to the floor and purple/pink glitter scattered all over the room carpeting everything turning the place into mountains of glitter. "WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!" He screeched entirely appalled at the mess of glitter as it landed upon him and the bed.
Chef Boyardee walked into the room and screeched. "FUCK YOU! THAT'S FOR YESTERDAY!" He wanted to irritate the clean freak with a gigantic mess. "ENJOY THIS FUCKING GLITTERTASTIC BOMB, YOU BALD SHIT."
"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! GLITTER IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO GET OUT OF EVERYTHING!"
"OH FUCK!" Shouted the Chef in regret. "SHIT!"
Glitter blew around everywhere due to the wind outside blowing in from the various holes and cracks in the wall the two caused. A cluster of glitter blew into the chef's face causing him to choke. "OHFUCKME!" He screeched as he fell over, the glitter buried his whole body. "FUCK MY LIFE!"
Mr. Clean got up entirely outraged and threw a punch at the chef only for glitter to 'splash' upwards and into his mouth and nostrils. "OH FUCKING HELLISH FUCKER!" He fell to the floor writhing in pain trying to spit out the glitter only for more to enter his various orifices.
Hours later, the two angrily sat at their broken-down kitchen table with glitter still sticking onto them. The chef bitterly opened a can of ravioli cheeseburger and plopped it into a bowl without any effort to even use a spoon to remove its unsettling can shape nor did he bother to microwave it. He slid the bowl over to Mr. Clean. The bowl flipped over after hitting a crack on the table and the contents spilled out.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!" Screeched Mr. Clean. "ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR FUCKING BLAND DISGUSTING FLAVORLESS FOODS? I HAVE TO USE SALT AND SRIRACHA SAUCE JUST TO EVEN SWALLOW ANY OF THIS SHIT!
"EAT MY SHIT!" Screeched the chef as he grabbed a glob from the bowl's spilled contents and flung it at the bald man. "EAT IT! EAT IT! EAT IT AND GO TO HELL. STAY IN HELL. STAY THE FUCK IN HELL EATING IT AND THEN DIE."
Mr. Clean got up and slapped the chef. The chef slapped back. Once again the two got into a brawl. They punched each other and knocked over the fridge causing it to short-circuit and spill out foods requiring refrigeration. A bucket of ice cream rolled out and began to leak onto the already filthy kitchen floor.
"YOUR FOOD FUCKING SUCKS!" Screeched Mr. Clean.
"WOW WELL ALL YOU DO ALL DAY IS SIT CRYING IN A BATHTUB OVER BEING BALD!" Responded the chef. "WAH FUCKING WAH I'M A BALD PIECE OF SHIT!"
"WELL AT LEAST I FUCKING ACTUALLY TAKE A BATH! YOU? YOU FUCKING STINK OF SHIT AND DEATH!"
"YOU FUCKER!"
Again the two rolled out into the living room and crashed out the patio and plopped 15 feet down on the ground. They brawled, rolling around and crashed into the downstairs neighbor's apartment. The people living inside shrieked in horror and quickly called the cops while running outside.
The fighting men continued punching and getting glitter, filth, gunk all over the furniture of the neighbor's apartment until they crashed on out the front door and slammed into one of the cars creating a huge dent. Mr. Clean broke the glass of the car and plopped himself inside to hotwire the vehicle quickly starting it up.
"BURN IN HELL!" He screeched at the top of his lungs as he slammed his foot onto the pedal trying to run over Chef Boyardee only to slam the car into the downstairs neighbor's apartment as Chef Boyardee dodged the impact. Another explosion and fire broke out. Mr. Clean reversed the car and attempted running over the chef with the car still being in reverse as he chased him throughout the parking lot slamming into other cars. "YOU WILL DIE!"
Chef Boyardee slammed himself into another neighbor's apartment, breaking the window and crash-landed onto the television causing it to explode sending sparks flying everywhere terrifying the children inside that were watching cartoons. "THE CHEF'S IN, FUCKERS!" He screeched causing the children to run screaming. He flung one of his canned ravioli in their direction before throwing himself out another window shattering more glass.
Mr. Clean slammed the car in reverse into that exact apartment sending the chef flying back in further horrifying the kids and their parents that had immediately rushed over. "FUCK UP FUCK IN HELL!" Screeched Mr. Clean finally driving the car forward to slam into another nearby car. He exited the car without shutting it off and stumbled, breathing heavily to walk back to the apartment dragging the chef along with him.
"Fuck you." Muttered Chef Boyardee breathing heavily as his body scraped along the black pavement parking lot.
"Fuck you."