Chapter 6
Rolling onto her side, Clara lets out a frustrated huff, reaching out towards the side table and lifting her small watch to look at the time. Three hours. Three hours she had been lying there so far; in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. She'd laid Charles down to sleep nearly six hours ago, had heard Tommy arrive home five hours ago, had snuck down to his office four hours ago, instantly disappointed to hear him busy, and on the phone so she had retreated back to her own room and gotten ready for bed. Swinging her legs off the bed, Clara runs her fingers through the hair heading for the door, gathering her robe from the hook and stepping cautiously out into the hallway. Finding it empty, she darts for the stairs, making quick work of the single flight down to the foyer of the house and slipping through the shadows to the doorway to Tommy's office where light was still shining through the gap beneath the door. Knocking lightly on said door, Clara presses her ear to the wood, sighing when she hears no sound from within and pushing the door open a touch, just enough to stick her head into the room, her eyes immediately finding Tommy hunched over his desk.
"You know you don't have to knock, right?" Tommy asks, not having to lift his eyes to know it was Clara hovering in the doorway of his office, having learnt by now, to recognise the pattern of her knocks. "Or wait in the doorway?" Smiling shyly, Clara pushes the door shut behind her, tugging her robe tighter around her body.
"Are you busy?" She asks, stepping closer until she reaches Tommy's desk, perching on the edge beside his seat, smiling as his hand immediately finds its way to her bare thigh, rubbing gentle circles into her skin with this thumb.
"Yes." Tommy answers honestly, finally lifting his eyes to hers, giving her thigh a loving squeeze. "But never too busy for you. Did you need something?"
"No. Just wanted to see you." Clara replies, reaching out to cup Tommy's cheeks, pulling him in for a quick, tender kiss. "Can I stay? While you work?"
"Course you can." He states, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Can I choose a book?" She asks shyly, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, Tommy reaching up immediately to free it with his thumb, letting it brush across her lips gently.
"Course you can." Tommy repeats, smiling at the wide grin that graces her face and the way she hops off his desk, practically skipping across to the bookcase. He watches as she rises and falls repeatedly on the balls of her feet, her eyes scanning the shelves until she selects the novel she wants, taking it carefully into her hands. Smiling over at Tommy, Clara grabs the jacket he had slung over the back of a chair, curling up in the armchair and throwing the coat over her legs. Resting her chin on the back of the chair, she smiles warmly over at Tommy who was leant back in his chair, still watching her lovingly, throwing her a wink before turning his attention back to the piles of work in front of him. They sit like this for close to two hours, Tommy shuffling the papers on his desk every so often, Clara shifting in the chair occasionally to find a new reading position, the pair happy to sit in each other's silent company. When Tommy decides he has finally had enough of the monotonous work in front of him, he pushes back from the desk slowly, eyes glued to Clara who was still enthralled in the fantasy world of whatever book she had selected. Lifting her gaze from the book in her lap, Clara follows Tommy with her eyes as he rises from his desk, gulping down the last mouthful of whiskey before rounding the table and heading her way. As he passes her, Tommy lifts a hand from his trouser pockets, reaching out to brush the backs of his fingers across her cheek.
"Come here." He mumbles, voice heavy with sleep and lack of use, running his fingers down her arm until they reach her hand, pulling her to stand. Dropping her hand, Tommy moves towards the sofa, laying on his back and holding his hand out to her once more. Understanding his silent request, Clara smiles softly, settling onto the sofa, resting between his legs, her head dropping onto his chest. "Read to me?" He asks, his lips pressed against her hair, smiling softly down at her as she tilts her head to look up at him, nodding. Shifting slightly in his arms to get comfortable, Clara curls into Tommy's embrace, sighing as her head finds a comfortable spot on his chest.
"Through the darkness-"
"Clara!" Tommy yelps suddenly, interrupting her gentle reading, pulling his leg swiftly away from hers.
"What?" She asks innocently, smiling up at Tommy, knowing full well why he had called out her name and was frowning down at her. "What's wrong?"
"Your bloody toes are like ice! That's what's wrong!" He chokes out, pushing her feet away from his own sock covered ones with a growl.
"My toes are always cold!" Clara protests with a frown, inching them closer to the trouser leg she had just cheekily tucked them inside, searching for warmth.
"Keep those bloody toes away from me!" Tommy exclaims with a laugh, pushing Clara away playfully as she tries to curl further into his warm embrace. "Clara James!"
"But I'm cold!" She whines, dropping the book to the floor and turning her body so that she was laid chest to chest with Tommy, her arms winding around his torso.
"Should have worn something warmer then!" He teases, pinching at her sides, making her squeal and squirm away. Pulling herself upright, Clara kneels before Tommy, huffing out a petulant 'hmpf' and crossing her arms over her chest, throwing Tommy a mock glare.
"Meanie." Sticking her tongue out at Tommy, she turns her head to the side, chin pointed defiantly up into the air as Tommy chuckles to himself, reaching his hands out to grasp Clara's waist gently.
"Come 'ere." He grumbles, feigning annoyance as he tugs her back towards him, Clara letting out an indignant squeak, but falling back into his arms nonetheless.
"You should keep blankets in here." Clara yawns, tilting her head up to look at Tommy who was peering down at her, his fingers running gently across her back.
"Maybe I will." He agrees, pressing his lips to her forehead, smiling against her skin as she sighs happily. "You planning on spending more time in here, eh?"
"Mhmm." She hums, her own fingers drawing gentle patterns on his chest. Humming in reply, Tommy leans his head back against the arm of the sofa, letting his eyes flutter closed as he feels Clara relax against his chest once more.
"Edward has invited us to lunch on Sunday." Clara says softly, tilting her head back to look up at Tommy who pries his tired eyes open, peering down at the woman in his arms.
"Us?" Tommy repeats, brow furrowing in confusion. "You've told him about us?"
"No." Clara replies quickly, shaking her head. "We said we wouldn't yet. It's just that I talk about Charlie so often that Eddie and Anna want to meet him, and I think Eddie would like to have a drink with you again. Like the good old days." Lowering her voice to mimic her brother, Clara giggles at Tommy's scoff, chuckling along with her. "So? I told him I'd phone and let him know if you were free this weekend. Are you?"
"I am." Tommy states, dropping his head back onto the back of the sofa, closing his eyes again. Narrowing her eyes, Clara reaches up to stroke Tommy's cheek gently, twisting her body to look up at him.
"You're free, and want to go? Or you're free but don't?" She questions, continuing her gentle strokes across his face. "Tom?"
"It's been a long time." Tommy mutters gruffly, fishing a cigarette out of his pocket, purely to give his shaking hands something to do. Watching as Tommy runs the cigarette between his lips, Clara's heart clenches, watching him slowly fold in on himself, she could see it in his face, she could read him too well. The new Tommy that had a tendency to shut down swiftly, pulling his face into a frowning mask was quickly replacing the laughing old Tommy that had been teasing with Clara just moments before, the quick change making her feel instantly guilty for even bringing up the subject of her brother. Reaching up to pluck the cigarette from between Tommy's lips, Clara holds it between her fingers, rolling it thoughtfully from side to side. Tommy cocks an eyebrow questioningly, lighter still frozen in mid air from where he had been about to light the cigarette. Placing the cigarette between her own lips, Clara pushes her face forwards, smiling gratefully as Tommy flicks the lighter, lighting the cigarette.
"Talk to me." Clara whispers through a stream of smoke, Tommy letting his eyes flutter closed as the smoke hits his face. "Tommy? Please?"
"It's been a long time." He repeats, pulling the cigarette from between Clara's lips as she had done with him moments earlier. "It's been a fucking long time, darling. I've not seen your brother since..."
"Since the war." Clara finishes for him, moving to kneel between Tommy's legs again, taking the cigarette from his outstretched hand. "You can say it, love. It's over. You're safe now. You're here, with me, with Charles, with your brothers, with my brother. You're all back. It's over."
"It's not, Clara." Tommy bites out, shifting his eyes from Clara's, glancing off over her shoulder instead. "In here it's not." Reaching a hand up to tap at his temple, Tommy draws his eyes back to hers as Clara sighs softly.
"Tell me about it." She presses, leaning forwards to cup the sides of his head in her hands, brushing her thumbs over his temples.
"I can't." He breathes out, shaking his head once. "It's nothing, Clara. Nothing I want to worry you with."
"I wish you would."
"No, darling." Tommy states, cupping the back of her head to pull her lips to his in a gentle kiss, pouring all of his love into that one simple touch.
"One day." She protests. "One day you will. I'll make sure of it. You know how stubborn I can be." Chuckling lightly at her words, Tommy reaches out for Clara, pulling her flush against his chest. "Just think of the good old days. From before the war. From when it was the Shelbys and the James' against the world. Think of how much fun we had. We could have that again, with Eddie and his kids, your brothers and Charlie..."
"And you." Tommy adds, cupping Clara's cheek, letting his thumb brush gently over her cheekbone.
"And me." She repeats with a smile, tilting her head back to kiss him sweetly. "So? What do you think? Dinner with Eddie? We could go and if you want to leave, we'll go straight away. How 'bout that?" Hesitating for a moment, Tommy gazes down at Clara, his thumb still gently smoothing over the soft skin of her cheek, his heart straining in his chest at the hopefulness in her eyes, watching as they light up at his nod, a wide grin spreading over her face. "Yeah?" She breathes out, winding her arms around Tommy's neck, brushing her nose against his, Tommy replying with a gentle kiss and a nod. "I'll phone Eddie in the morning. But I'm serious, Tom. You don't feel right, we'll go, straight away. Alright?" Nodding again, Tommy crashes his lips into Clara's, tugging her body flush against his.
Pulling into the street Edward and his family lived in, Clara reaches out to place her hand on Tommy's thigh, giving it a tender squeeze as they stop outside the house.
"It's going to be ok." Clara tells him gently, reaching her hand up to cup Tommy's cheek, smiling as he turns his head to press a kiss to the inside of her wrist. "And if it's not, then we'll go. No questions asked. But you've got me, and you've got Charlie, it's going to be ok. I promise." Smiling sincerely at her words, Tommy curls his hand around the back of Clara's head, pulling her in for a quick, searing kiss, leaving her breathless as he exits the car and rounds to her side, holding his hand out to help her step down onto the pavement.
"Hello?" Clara calls, taking Charlie from Tommy as they step into the house, calling out to her brother. She smiles warmly as Anna pops her head around the door, her sister-in-law greeting her with an equally gentle smile, making her way towards them.
"So this must be the little one our Clara's always talking about!" She coos, bending to Charlie's height, letting him curl his tiny fist around her finger. "And you must be Tommy. These two never stop talking about you either." She jokes, looking up as Tommy chuckles, daring a glance down at Clara who still had her worried eyes locked on him, giving her a small smile of reassurance.
"All good I hope." He teases, reaching out to shake Anna's hand. "It's good to finally meet you. Thank you for having us for dinner."
"Tommy Shelby." Edward booms from the kitchen doorway before his wife could reply, letting out a light chuckle as his old friend raises his eyes to meet him. "How are ya?"
"Edward James." Tommy calls out in the same tone, the two men stepping towards each other, shaking hands energetically. "Thanks for inviting us."
"Of course!" Edward replies, shaking his head lightly and motioning for Tommy to follow him towards the back of the house. "The kids are through here. They're desperate to meet Charlie."
"It'll be nice for Charles to have some company." Tommy states, stepping to the side to allow Clara to pass, her fingers brushing against his as she brushes through the doorway first, calling out greetings to her nieces and nephews.
"He's so cute!" The tallest of the two little girls coos, flying across the room at her aunt, wrapping her arms around her waist.
"Lucinda. Say hello to our guest first, please." Edward chides gently, lifting his son into his lap as he drops down onto the sofa.
"Hello Mr Shelby." Lucinda replies softly, partially hiding in Clara's skirts. "It's nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too, Lucinda." Tommy says gently, crouching down before her, holding his hand out for her to shake, which she does, gently. "You can call me Tommy."
"You can call me Lucy." She says, looking shyly up at her aunt who smiles warmly, nodding her head in approval. "You have a very cute baby."
"This is Charles." Lifting his hands up towards Clara, Tommy takes Charlie into his arms, holding him on his knee in front of the young girl. "You can call him Charlie."
"Charlie." Lucy repeats with a nod, reaching her hand out towards the baby who coos at the attention he was receiving, curling his hand around the young girl's fingers.
"You all seem happy in here, I'll leave you too it, help Anna in the kitchen." Clara mumbles softly, smiling down at Tommy who nods, rising to sit on the sofa opposite Edward, Lucy clambering up to sit beside him, enamoured with the baby in his arms.
"I saw that." Anna comments teasingly as Clara enters the kitchen, pushing the door shut behind her.
"Saw what?" Clara asks, moving to wash her hands at the sink, glancing at Anna out of the corner of her eye.
"The way you touched Tommy's hand as you passed him."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Clara stutters, face blushing a deep red.
"Uh huh." Anna hums, raising her eyebrows as she moves to lean against the counter, eyeing her sister in law. "You look happy, Clara."
"As opposed to every other time you've seen me when I've looked miserable?" She teases, copying Anna and moving to rest against the counter. "I am happy, Anna."
"I know." Reaching a hand out, Anna taps Clara's cheek lovingly. "You've got a twinkle in your eye. And your face is glowing. You look relaxed. Content." Ducking her head with a smile, Clara lets her hair fall over her face, Anna letting out an excited squeal at her action. "Oh Clara! Are you- you and Tommy?" Subtly nodding her head, Clara lets Anna pull her into her arms, squeezing her tightly. "Clara! I told you, didn't I? Tell me all about it!"
"I don't know..." Trailing off, Clara plays with her fingers, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth at the memory of their first shared kiss in Tommy's office. "It just happened, Anna. One minute we were talking, the next we were kissing, and it's just carried on from there."
"How long has it been going on?"
"A few weeks. We weren't going to tell anyone, not for a while. So you can't tell Eddie! I want to tell him when I'm ready."
"Does anyone else know?"
"No!" Clara states with a shake of her head. "Please, Anna. Please don't tell Ed yet!"
"I won't. I promise."
"Promise what?" Edward asks, pushing through the doorway into the kitchen, eyeing his sister and wife suspiciously.
"Umm..."
"I promised Clara I won't go spoiling that new book series I'm reading! I said she could borrow the first one." Jumping to her sister in law's rescue, Anna reaches out, squeezing Clara's hand. Shrugging at her response, Edward raises his eyebrows, motioning behind him to Tommy who was lingering in the doorway, his eyes quickly finding Clara's.
"Clara?" He calls out, her eyebrows raising in response, pushing off the counter to stand up straight. "Did we bring Charlie's bear? The-"
"Blue one. Yes. I must have left it in the car. I'll get it now." Stepping towards him, Clara meets Tommy's eye with a worried gaze, the interaction between the two having been planned beforehand in case Tommy had needed a quick exit or to speak to Clara alone. "We'll be right back." Leading Tommy back through the house, Clara pauses as he pulls the front door shut, moving to lean against the car, waiting for him to approach her. "Are you ok?" She asks gently, reaching a hand out to run along his arm, intertwining their fingers as she reaches his hand.
"Yeah, fine." Tommy breathes out with a smile, stepping forwards to rest his forehead against Clara's, Charlie letting out a shriek as he gets squashed between the pair. "Just wanted to kiss you."
"Tommy!" Clara laughs, reaching up to cup Tommy's cheeks, pulling him in for a kiss. "I have something to tell you." Pulling back from the kiss, Tommy frowns at the serious edge Clara's tone had taken, searching her eyes. "I told Anna."
"You..."
"I'm sorry!" Clara blurts out, worrying her lip between her teeth. "But she was going on about how happy I looked and it just-" Cutting her rambles off with a kiss, Tommy chuckles at Clara's nerves, winding an arm around her waist to pull her close.
"So, how long until Edward knows?"
"Anna won't tell him." Clara reassures him quickly with a shake of her head. "She won't. But if we stay out here much longer, he will start getting suspicious."
"Right." Tommy nods, reaching around Clara to open the car door, reaching in to grab the teddy from the seat, gently placing it in Charlie's hands. "One more kiss before we go?"
"You are insatiable." Clara giggles, pushing up on her toes to kiss Tommy deeply nonetheless. "You're really doing ok?" She checks, smiling as Tommy nods, caressing her cheek gently as he guides her into another soft kiss.
"I'm really doing ok." He repeats, placing a gentle hand on the small of her back, leading her back towards the house.
"What are you doing?" A small voice greets the pair as they step back inside the house, Clara freezing immediately, her eyes dropping closed with a sigh at the sight of her niece knelt by the window, peering up at them with wide, curious eyes. "You were kissing!"
"Lucinda-" Clara breathe out, forcing her eyes open but keeping them downcast, refusing to look up and meet Tommy's own wide eyes.
"Aunt Clara and Tommy were kissing!" She shrieks excitedly, jumping up and down on the spot. "Aunt Clara and Tommy, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-"
"Ok! Alright! That's enough!" Clara exclaims suddenly, lurching forwards to grab her niece in a tight hug, playfully pulling her to the floor, smothering her face in kisses. "And now I'm kissing you!"
"Eww!" Lucy cries, laughing and squirming out of Clara's hold, the pair of them rolling away from each other, laying on the floor giggling. Finally raising her eyes to Tommy's as she hears her brother move into the doorway, calling out to them, Clara pulls her lips into a light frown, mouthing 'sorry' as she pushes herself up to sit. She's shocked when Tommy steps forward with a small smile, reaching his hand out to help Clara up off the floor.
"What on earth is going on?" Edward asks, moving to lean against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, eyebrows raised and questioning.
"Eddie..." Clara starts, breaking off abruptly at the excited shout from the child at her side.
"Auntie Clara and Tommy were kissing! Outside! By the car! I saw them!"
"Well I could tell as much from your shouting!" Edward teases his oldest daughter, beckoning her over with a nod of his head. "About bloody time." He mumbles jokingly under his breath, eyeing Clara and then Tommy with a teasing smirk as he turns away from the room. "Well come on then, dinner's ready." Glancing up at Tommy, eyes wide with shock, Clara swiftly follows Edward through the doorway, jogging slightly to catch up with his quick pace, reaching out to grab his wrist, effectively pulling him to a stop.
"What do you mean 'about bloody time'?" She asks, eyes widening further at the teasing glint in her brother's eyes as he rolls them playfully.
"You've been pining over Tommy since you were twelve, Clara! I was hoping getting a job at Arrow House would kick you into gear, but bloody hell you did take your time!"
"What?" Clara splutters, shaking her head in disbelief. "What?"
"Come on, Clara girl, do you really think I'm that oblivious?" Edward teases, reaching out to tweak his sister's cheek playfully. "The way your whole face lit up whenever Tommy walked into the room? The fact you never left our side when he was around? Not knowing who to run to first the day we got back...yes...I noticed that too..." he laughs at Clara's shocked expression, chuckling deeply as her eyes roll closed in embarrassment, a deep blush immediately covering her cheeks. "I'm just glad one of you finally decided to make the first move. You were shuffling around each other like a pair of love sick puppies. I saw the way Tommy's eyes followed you when we were younger. He didn't show it in front of the men, but those letters you sent him during the war, that's what kept him going. You were his light, Clara. And mine. I knew it was only a matter of time."
"I didn't..." Shaking her head, Clara trails off, glancing back over her shoulder at Tommy who was now hovering in the doorway, Charlie still curled up in his arms. "I had no idea."
"Well you do now." Edward hums, stepping past Clara to take Charlie from Tommy. "Maybe you two need a moment alone?" He suggests, raising his eyebrows at Tommy who rolls his eyes, nodding once in agreement nonetheless, allowing his old friend to take the baby from his arms. "I'll set young Charlie up, you two join us when you're ready, eh?"
"I didn't know." Clara whispers again as Edward closes the kitchen door behind him, Tommy having to take a step closer to hear her properly. "I had no idea."
"Seems like we were both pretty good at hiding how we truly felt, eh?" Tommy asks with a soft smile, reaching out to take Clara's hand as she huffs out a laugh, rolling her eyes playfully.
"Clearly not to Eddie, though." She laughs, taking another step towards Tommy. "All this time..."
"It doesn't matter." Tommy cuts her off gently, raising a hand to cup her cheek, carefully brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I've got you now, and you've got me. Eh?"
"Yeah." Clara sighs softly, smiling up at Tommy. "We do." Humming out an affirmative, Tommy closes the gap between them, gently leading Clara's lips to his.
"They're doing it again!" Comes an excited shout from behind the kitchen door where Lucy was crouched down at the key hole, peeping through. "They're kissing!"
"Leave them be!" Anna's playful laugh replies, causing Clara to giggle uncontrollably, leaning against Tommy for support.
"We should probably go inside." Tommy suggests, gently cupping Clara's cheeks in his hands, smiling as she leans into his touch.
"Probably." She hums in agreement, pushing up onto her tip toes and angling her face towards Tommy's. "One more kiss before we go."
"For you," Tommy whispers, tilting his head towards hers. "Anything."